|
The Lizardman Q&A Part 10 [The Lizardman]
Reply
Tag Archives: The Lizardman
The Modern History of Tongue Splitting [The Lizardman]
|
 The Lizardman’s split tongue, in 1997 and in 2004.
Eight years ago, in July 1997 (on the 18th to be exact), I walked into the office of Dr. Lawrence Busino with one tongue and emerged under an hour later with two. There was no media coverage and apart from a couple emails and a posting on rec.arts.bodyart not many people even knew this was happening. Of course, this would all change and an amazing and unforeseeable chain of events would be set into motion. I was not the first person to have my tongue split, anyone who has paid attention to my comments about it will have noticed that I refer to myself as ‘one of the first’. My best guess is that I was probably the third bifurcation but the first to be done surgically using a biopsy laser. In fact, the first actual split tongue that I knew of was on BME just prior to my own procedure in 1997. An Italian man sent in notes and then pictures of his split created by cutting and silver nitrate cauterization. The notes can be found here, there are also six images early in the gallery with a June 1997 date stamp (for time received and posted, not taken).  The first known pictures of a modern tongue splitting (Italy, 1996/7) When I first approached Dr. Busino I brought along printouts of those translated notes, by the time the pictures were online I had already scheduled my appointment for surgery. It was not until after my own procedure that I eventually found out about Dustin (covered in Body Play #16, I think) who had used a tie off method to split her tongue earlier. It seems that 1997 was the year for tongue splitting to happen. Within a very short span of time three people, unconnected and nearly unknown to one another, all split their tongues using three different methods. Up until this time, modern tongue splitting was all but a myth. There were theories and vague references but no one could provide any documentation — it was always a friend of friend saw this guy/girl, etc. BME included a theoretical method reference for stretching multiple center tongue piercings and then cutting between them but this was just speculative. Some people made historical references but again the documentation was questionable. Even some of the more reliable sources citing a cutting the tongue in half do not specify a bifurcation and strong arguments could be made that they are talking about an amputation cutting in half as punishment or torture from side to side rather than from the tip back. The BME Tongue Splitting FAQ contains references to some of these historical practices. Personally, I find these less than compelling but I do not entirely dismiss the possibility since it only seems even more unlikely that someone had not tried it before. What can be said with good authority is that the idea and image of the split tongue is a powerful one that has played a major role across cultures and around the world. With the advent of modern tongue splitting, it was poised to do so again.  Dustin’s self-split tongue Over the next two years tongue splitting would grow slowly but steadily. As word of my surgery and Dustin’s successful split began to spread (I have never heard anything further on the Italian), more and more people became interested or realized their own fantasies could now come true. I introduced a number of people to Dr. Busino as well as hosting many of them at my apartment in Albany (including our own Shannon Larratt who detailed his experience here) so they could come to town and get the surgery done by one of the only willing and experienced doctors in the country. Dr. Busino was very accepting, if not enthusiastic, about body modification and loved discussing various modifications and possible procedures. With each patient he continued to refine the procedure, especially the suturing which helped to prevent re-growth and provided a more natural rounded look to the interior of the split. At one point he even commented on how the laser machinery could be transported fairly easily to conventions or meetings where he would be able to potentially do many bifurcations were the demand to continue. Meanwhile other individuals and practitioners worked with the tie off method and experimented with scalpeling.  Early tongue splits on Shannon Larratt (left, center), and Essie (right, one of the many people hosted by the Lizardman and introduced to Dr. Busino). At the first Modcon in 1999 my split tongue was a novelty and, as I recall, the only one present other than Shannon’s. Between hosting many of the splits at my house and Shannon’s network of people and practitioners via BME we could say that at that time we probably knew personally or could at least name most of the split tongues in the world. This would soon change. At the 2000 Modcon a number of split tongues were present. Online, BME was seeing a significant increase in photos and experiences. Due to my unabashed media whoring, my own tongues had appeared in Time magazine, on several television shows (such as Ripley’s), and even on a billboard in NYC. Split tongues were suddenly very visible. An increasing number of practitioners were offering the procedure and it became much easier for people to find someone near them to do it. Also, a number of people performed the procedure themselves. However, there would be a cost for this visibility.  Early tongue splitting on Tim Cridland (The Torture King), Allen Falkner, and by Patrick Bartholomew. Almost certainly due to the increased exposure and references to him in stories about tongue splitting, Dr. Busino found himself under unwanted scrutiny. As a result, of what I and others suspect was pressure brought on him by colleagues who found tongue splitting to be distasteful, Busino was soon refusing to do the procedure and even going so far as to deny having ever performed it. I last spoke with him 2000 before these problems arose. He was the model of an open minded professional when I knew him and it is a shame that the prejudices of others came to so bear on him. And, as bad as this was, the potential more even worse loomed ahead in the form of government legislation. By 2001 split tongues were common as surgical modifications go, being one of, if not the, most popular ‘heavy’ modification. Keep in mind that’s not really common at all in terms of the world population or even just the US. In fact more people in the US get their ears pierced each day by underpaid, under trained employees in unhygienic mall stores often improperly using equipment and jewelry that even when used properly is at best barely adequate for the job than the entire collected world population of split tongues. Or to put it another way, if you had a dollar for every split tongue in the world you would not have enough money to buy a decent used car or pay the yearly rent on slum apartment in most cities for a year. Even though it sometimes seems like they are common within our modified community, they are still rare in the world.  More recently done tongue splittings. Despite so many other prominent problems and looming dangers in the world, in 2003, some state legislators began to think that the tongue splitting “trend” required new laws. As a result, a number of laws have been passed which have limited the context in which the procedure may be performed. Most of these are redundant to existing laws and serve no real purpose beyond soothing the prejudiced positions of those who introduce the bills but they are preferable to the total bans they often start out as. This senseless waste of government time, effort, and money was the subject of my first official column for BME and can be found here. I continue to write and debate lawmakers across the country as they follow suit. Due largely to these laws and the unwillingness of most doctors to perform the procedure a significant number of split tongues are now self done. The method of choice for them and the limited number of practitioners offering the procedure is scalpeling. Scalpeling the tongue is quite bloody, as many of the photos on BME will attest. However, it is at once the simplest and probably best method available. In my observations and from talking to subjects, it appears that scalpeling is on par with laser surgery for speed, if not faster, and results in far less swelling due to the lack of cauterization. When combined with proper suturing it results in some of the best looking, fastest healing splits with the least amount of re-growth between the forks. The only significant problem being that people doing it themselves or even having it done by most practitioners do not have the benefits at hand in case of problems or emergency that would be available in a professional surgical setting. To date, the modern history of tongue splitting is an overall positive one. We have come to discover that it is not only possible but than many of the anticipated dangers or consequences such as difficulty speaking or eating are complete myths. Contrary to expectations the real problem seems to lay with reversing the procedure. This has happened once, to my knowledge, and was not voluntary or the result of any complication or dissatisfaction. No, the story of the only reversal is far darker and can be found on BME here. In fact, I do not, nor has anyone else I have spoken with know of anyone voluntarily reversing their split. It is this case that I think now points to the direction for the future.  Forced tongue split reversal The first tongue splittings were done for personal reasons of satisfaction and fulfillment. As a result others were able to do the same, likely for similar personal motivations. Now, as split tongues have become visible to the world it becomes time to establish their place within it. That is the work to be done. To cultivate the view and understanding that a split tongue is simply another way in which a person can — and should not be restricted from doing — shape their own image.
|
Lizardman Q&A #9 [The Lizardman]
|
Number nine… number nine… number nine… number nine… number nine It never ends. Since it was a Shannon inspired question that made me do it this month, let’s start with him.
And that concludes my ninth symphony of spouting off in response to your queries.
|
The Lizardman goes to Am-Jam [The Lizardman]
|
|
"I am having so much fun performing, I feel almost guilty. I think, my God, I hope no one comes and busts me for this."- David Crosby
When I moved to Texas in late 2001, one of the fringe benefits I was greatly looking forward to was no longer having to shovel snow or de-ice my car. Why is it then that every January when NY is doing its best imitation of an icebox have I since traveled up north, back into the snow and cold?
To be part of the Am-Jam Tattoo Expo.
My connection with Am-Jam goes back six years now. It began in 1998 when an announcement for the upcoming 1999 edition of event was posted online in rec.arts.bodyart. At the time I was a regular reader and contributor to r.a.b. and having recently decided to get back into performance as a full time venture I contacted the poster – none other than then VP and now head poobah Jeannie aka “Mom”. Being so close to the actual date, things were pretty well locked down in terms of entertainment and budget but being that is was only a few miles from my apartment in Albany to the armory in Schenectady where the event was being held we struck a deal that I would come out and do a few things during the breaks in onstage activity and she would give myself and a friend or two passes into the show and some drinks. It wouldn’t be the first or last time I worked for free beer and good time.
I was accompanied out to the show by Scott, who has since gone on to become The Amazing Dr. Grift and an indispensable part of my show and business. Within moments of arriving we made fast friends with everyone there and Jeannie was soon calling us her “sons”. Throughout the day I would get onstage and do an act or two – a bed of nails, sew buttons to my arms, lift things with piercings, the blockhead, etc. It went incredibly well and the crowd loved it. This was also the source of one of my favorite all time crowd comments: “Man, that is fucked up!” The comment isn’t particularly notable in and of itself and I hear it a lot but when I heard it that day from a Hell’s Angel it meant a lot more. I was reaching people with a generally higher than average tolerance for the weird and unusual. We returned each day and did a little something every time – including a stint as the walkway for the leather fashion show with each model stepping on me on the bed of nails as they took the stage. In those three days we made lifelong friends and probably got overpaid in terms our drinking. Throughout the year we would do the same at other Am-Jam events. BME still contains galleries of some of the pictures I took, which also show a pre-implants and facial tattooing version of me:
- http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/convent/aj99001.html
- http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/convent/naj99001.html
Am-Jam would be a regular part of my schedule and integral part of the development of my show for the future.
Things continued on in much the same way for 2000, 2001, and 2002. These were years of great growth for myself and my show and every time we returned to Am-Jam it was like a homecoming and we did just a bit more. Am-Jam became the event where I brought media coverage to see me in action. Over the years I have been filmed and photographed there for numerous print publications including many industry magazines as well as German TV and print, National Geographic, and more. This year was no exception as I was joined and covered by a Hong Kong based magazine.
In 2003, I took on a new role – albeit briefly – as co-MC for the expo. This was also the year I met Spider Webb who was exhibiting a number of paintings and other pieces at the event. The meeting was fortuitous and resulted in not only a new friend but also a new tattoo as I became part of his “X” work by receiving an “x” tattoo under my eye. The experience I wrote for BME about the tattoo can be found here. That was the first and last year I would MC at the event and also the last year it would be held in Schenectady.
Liverpool, NY became the new home of the Am-Jam tattoo expo in 2004. And then, as before and as I am sure I will again I got in my car and drove from the warmth of Texas into the blizzards of western NY. The change of venue meant some very positive new things for the event. It was now partnered with a strong local radio station (105 The Dog) and there was a new hotel with much more space – and a full stage for competitions and performances. This was also the year that I would get my lips tattooed while there, by Miss Vicke. You can read about that here.
And that brings us to this year’s event.
The 2005 Am-Jam would be the first event in a two week run on the road for me and the show. I had hoped that we were well prepared for the trip north by our first gig of the year in Anchorage, Alaska a week prior but it was to no avail. New York proved to be colder than Alaska – by several degrees – during the time we were in each state respectively. Nonetheless, we made it through – mostly by staying indoors. We arrived on the Thursday evening prior to the event and said hello to all the family before getting some much needed rest after 30 in a rental car. Technically, it was split between two rental cars because around Cleveland our first car got a flat tire due a random chunk of metal in the road. As the show must go on, so must the car. We exchanged cars at the Cleveland airport and were back on our way.
A brief nap would be all we got before awaking to visit Scorch on the morning radio promo for the event. Before leaving for the radio station there was some local news to shoot for as well. I did an excellent job of disturbing the reporter and apparently the studio editor as my antics were mostly cut from the piece that ended up running throughout the day – still it did the job. We got back a bit before noon and had another nap before setting up the booth and opening up with the event at 6 PM on Friday night.
As might be expected for our sixth year, we had tons of familiar faces stop by and visit our booth. The snow held off for Friday but on Saturday we were effectively snowed in. It always snows during Am-Jam, but this just means you know where the party is and it’s not going to go anywhere. Saturday was also our performance day and we had a great time with equal response as always.
Sunday we made the decision to stay in the hotel through Monday which relieved of our usual need to pack up and rush goodbyes before getting on the road. We took things leisurely and enjoyed a successful show and weekend of business at the booth. That night, after shutting down it was a trip to the hot tub and strategizing for the upcoming bar show in Albany, NY and then another convention in Ohio.
There are always variables in life, especially that of a traveling performer, and sometimes the start of a new year can seem daunting but I feel assured that I can count on being at a lot more Am-Jams and every one sending me off better than the last into the rest of the year. My sincere thanks to the Am-Jam family and all friends old and new from the event that have helped make my show what it is.
Erik Sprague
because the world NEEDS freaks…
Former doctoral candidate and philosophy degree holder Erik Sprague, the Lizardman (iam), is known around the world for his amazing transformation from man to lizard as well as his modern sideshow performance art. Need I say more?
Copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC and Erik Sprague / The Lizardman. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published January 13th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC in La Paz, BCS, Mexico.
Can I touch you? [The Lizardman]
|
|
The Lizardman’s 2004 Year in Review [The Lizardman]
|
2004 Year in Review Let the egoism continue! Once again, here is a review of the past year from the perspective of The Lizardman. Now, I’m not trying to apologize for my shameless self-involvement but this time around I have tried to include some more general references of note as well. Enjoy the linkfest.
|
|
Some things never seem to change (substantially). When I was writing the 2003 version of this column a year ago I had a small stack of books and pc games I was working through surrounding me.
As I sit here doing this one, I have a similar Christmas booty in front of me. January 2004 saw me off to a good start on the year. Shannon was kind enough to make my IAM page more open to the general public. I began a series of sideshow personality interviews beginning with my good friend The Amazing Blazing Tyler Fyre. I was filmed by MTV and National Geographic. I got one of now favorite and most beloved gadgets – the Treo 600. And perhaps most notably from a performance body modification perspective I once again worked at the AMJAM Tattoo Expo during which I had my lips tattooed. |
 |
February |
|
This was the month of the nipple piercing – thank you Miss Jackson! When I get to nipple on broadcast TV and a pierced nipple at that, I simply cannot contain myself. My feelings became expressed in a BME column, of course, and not surprisingly were far more enthusiastic than those of the popular press. February also saw this story on magnetic implants, a good month for modification. For my own mods I experimented with Kaos’s new silicone eyelets to stretch my septum. The results were positive except that after stretching with their eyelets I got my septum to a size where the only jewelry I could wear were the eyelets since non-squish-able jewelry over half an inch won’t fit up my nostril to be inserted into the piercing. Ultimately, I went back to a half inch for the jewelry options. Show wise, I made an appearance at Godsmack’s Grammy Party in LA, did a three day run in El Paso and Las Cruces (selling out and setting an attendance record for one of the rooms), and confirmed our spot on the Spring Jager Tour with Slipknot.
|
 |
March |
|
I moved to Texas but I didn’t escape the cold. March saw me drawn back up north for a small show at the bar in Albany where I used to work (now under new management and ownership) and a trip to Stratton, VT for the US Snowboard Open as an award presenter for Sobe. I also made a trip out to San Francisco to appear on Unscrewed. Back home in Austin, my wife became one of the new Satan’s Cheerleaders.
At the end of the month I left for the Spring Jagermeister Music Tour but not before getting |
 |
April |
|
All of this month and half of May were spent on the road as the host of the Jagermeister Music Tour. This was one of the best tours I have ever had the honor of being part of and stands out as one of the great experiences of my life. |
 |
May |
|
After returning from tour I took easy for a couple weeks before heading up to Detroit for the Inkslinger’s Convention. More noteworthy for the month were the ocular modifications appearing on BME like the stories on eyelid piercing and eye implants.
|
 |
June |
|
Ronald Reagan died this month; my feelings about him are pretty well summed up in the Ramones’ song: Bonzo goes to Bitburg. It was good month for promotion. A number of TV shows I shot for were aired and I received the first shipment of Jagermeister sponsored gear: shot glasses & lighters. This was also the month that I celebrated my 32nd birthday and got my ears tattooed.
|
 |
July |
|
Start of a month with BMEfest and its pretty much all downhill from there. That is, unless you are buying a house. This was the month that Meghan and I found and put in our offer on what would become our home.
|
 |
August |
|
Things got busy fast in August. Meghan and I closed on our new house, which meant moving. All the while I was spending 4 days or more a week in Dallas as a guest performer with the Brothers Grim Sideshow. I also went out to the Navajo Nation and performed at Window Rock fest. I believe I may have set a record this month, as well, when I pulled my car with my stretched earlobes for an audition tape – I didn’t get the part though, for being too extreme.
|
 |
September |
|
I continued to split my time for the first half of the month between Dallas at the sideshow and home in Austin. While home there was moving, unpacking, and renovations to be done. In Dallas we not only performed but also filmed with Discovery – a series of vignettes for a number of programs that should air in 2005. I also got a little tattoo work done. A short trip north was made for the Boston Tattoo Convention during which MTV finally decided to air our wedding (without letting us know).
|
 |
October |
|
The month for me began with a new round of debating and interviewing over tongue splitting legislation. This time it was in New York. It behooves us all to stay abreast of what is being done legislatively – even in states other than our own. I got a little more green fill done this month but the mod I remember most, if you want to call it that, was a serious ear cleaning. I had a sudden wax buildup that nearly deafened me and needed to be removed by a doctor. With the Fall Jagermeister Tour not starting till the end of the month I only had one show to do (Theo’s in Corpus Christi) and passed the rest of the time mostly relaxing at home and learning to program
pocketc. |
 |
November |
|
Another national tour! We hit the road with Jagermeister once again. While on tour Meghan and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary.
|
 |
December |
|
I didn’t get back from the jager tour with Slayer till over half way through the month and then it was all holidays. While not much happened modification-wise for me personally, there was this story on BME about pierced eyeglasses and, of course, the ten year mark for BME.
|
There you have it. I promise some more substantive columns soon but for those looking for more year end nostalgia why not try here.
|
Erik Sprague
because the world NEEDS freaks… Former doctoral candidate and philosophy degree holder Erik Sprague, the Lizardman (iam), is known around the world for his amazing transformation from man to lizard as well as his modern sideshow performance art. Need I say more? Copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC and Erik Sprague / The Lizardman. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published January 13th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC in La Paz, BCS, Mexico.
|
Dealing with the Media [The Lizardman]
|
Dealing with the Media
The media loves modified people. As a rule, we are visually interesting, provocative, and often present a curiosity to their consumers that has been proven to draw ratings. Shannon recently presented a request for guests he received from the Maury Show on his page and as a result of my comments to him about it he suggested I write a column on dealing with the media. The following is a great deal of personal experience over the last decade combined with the usual dose of my opinions. I am sure there are others here on BME that can greatly add to this and I hope they will via the forums. It is important that as a community we take advantage of the media as the positive tool it can be rather than being taken advantage of by the media. First, and most importantly, whether you are going to involve yourself with the media as a participant or just a consumer everyone should learn to look past the false glamour associated with media coverage. Appearing on TV, being interviewed on the radio, or whatever it may be is essentially meaningless. Take a look at your local paper and evening news and you will quickly see that a great deal of it is filler and that almost anyone and anything can end up there. Getting covered should not be seen as an end or achievement in itself. If you fall for this you play directly into the hands of those within the media who wish to exploit you and you very likely damage any cause you might have. Media coverage is a tool you can use but it is also a force that can easily use you. Always remember that the media has an agenda and a plan to achieve it. This is not to say that all media outlets and people are working on nefarious schemes but rather they quite simply do have something they are out to achieve and they will do so at your expense if necessary. Interviewing you or having you on as a guest is simply a method for them to achieve their goal. If you are going to deal with the media then you must also have an agenda and a plan. If you go in unprepared then it is most likely that you will get used and end up looking dumb, or in the best-case scenario you somehow get lucky and escape with your dignity intact but nothing or little gained. At a bare minimum, because it is a business, they will attempt to do as little as possible in terms of compensating you for your contributions. Never underestimate your importance to the media. As a guest or subject you represent the raw materials of their enterprise. Media is business. No one there is working for free and neither should you. Often, getting compensated for your time and work (and it is work) is as simple as asking. Most worthwhile productions realize that they need to pay and will do so when asked, but rarely offer up front and then lowball. The exception to this being many news programs, which don’t pay on the principle that it would impinge on their integrity. Personally, I don’t see a lot of merit in this claim for most stories but the value of advancing your agenda and getting your message out can be valuable enough to offset not getting paid. Of course, this assumes you have evaluated your ideas and goals and formulated a way to achieve them that uses the media coverage you can get. If you are going to deal with the media you have to do your research and plan your statements before you are recorded. Even very intelligent people often end up looking silly when hit up for ‘man on the street’ comments because they are not prepared for them. You should not only refresh your knowledge of your topic and ideas but also research the particular show or outlet you will be dealing with. Try to figure out their agenda and how you can either counter it or make it work for you.  At the Don Francisco show, Miami 2002. Below I have broken down some practical tips and information about various forms of media. I strongly encourage anyone who is thinking about any involvement to consult with professionals whenever possible and if you are going to be doing it with any regularity a manager or lawyer are nearly a must because there is a lot to keep track of and having people who know the business help you is invaluable. PRINT
RADIO
TELEVISION
I haven’t mentioned things like variety shows for performers or acting appearances because if you are going to do this then you really should be working with a professional to handle things. Hopefully this helps someone and don’t be afraid to ask me or anyone questions.
|
You just want attention, and You’re just trying to be different [The Lizardman]
|
You just want attention, and You’re just trying to be different
In some recent columns I have addressed common questions that modified people often face from the general public. Along the same lines I thought it would be interesting to tackle potential responses to some of the more commonly made statements and assertions made to or about modified people. To get things started, here are two that I commonly hear and see, especially in online forum discussions, about myself and other visibly modified people.
When I hear this the first thing that comes to mind is, “Yeah, so what?” Everybody wants attention; nobody likes to be completely ignored. It is the type and source of attention desired that varies from person to person. There is nothing wrong with wanting attention. The real offense, in my mind, would be to be undeserving of attention i.e. wasting the time of people who are nice enough to give attention. Through body modification you are at least increasing the odds of there being something interesting enough about you to warrant the attention. The next thing, and this should be apparent by the fact that someone is commenting at all, is that any effort for attention has obviously been successful. Therefore, by making this particular comment the speaker is simply congratulating the modified person on their achievement of a perceived goal. Perhaps a simple “thank you” is in order. Then again, probably not. What really sets this comment out as an attempted insult is the qualifier ‘just’. The impolite jerk — I mean, the speaker — is trying to imply that the only reason one would modify their body is for attention. Even if this were the case, this is still a very weak and shallow attempt at an insult for the very reasons I mention above. The incredibly simple view that any behavior, especially one with as many possible cultural and personal significances as body modification, could be reduced to only one base motivation indicates immediately that you are not dealing with a member of the intellectual elite. Even trying to introduce a concept like quantum causality or merging influences would be futile unless it were an attempt to elicit the all encompassing “Huh?” so common to their ilk. It is far better to utilize a response more suited to the audience in question. One avenue would be to point out to the person the salient points of how we all seek attention and that it is not a bad thing (unless you are terminally boring). Another, and in my experience, more fun route is to turn things around. I like to suggest that it is the impolite jerk, oops I mean speaker again, that is seeking attention and doing so very likely out of jealousy for the modified person’s ability to attract and command attention. They are only making the comment in order to draw attention to themselves in a way in which they think will win them favor for being astute or clever, something they are clearly not. Unfortunately though, they are probably preaching to an equally ignorant choir. But in the event you can’t educate them, you can at least amuse your self with their mental fumbling.  Never refuse a microphone.
I have often commented on how trying to be different is redundant at best since by nature we are all unique individuals. However, that ‘big picture’ view notwithstanding there are many instances in which separating one’s self out can be beneficial if not essential. This is only exacerbated by the fact that not everyone recognizes or operates in light of this fact. An environment where there is a large degree of commonality of characteristics only makes it that much easier for a person within it to lose track of their inherent uniqueness. By purposefully decreasing the level of shared characteristics a person can help themselves to remain focused on their individuality and to develop and cultivate it. Furthermore, that person makes it far less likely they get lost in the shuffle by becoming more noticeable, for both good and ill, to others. And even ignoring this, the question remains as to what it is that is so bad about trying to be different? If we are all different then when someone implies there is something wrong with being different they must necessarily imply that there is something wrong with them as well. Toss that out and watch the confusion set in. In theory, free thinking and going your own way are often celebrated and allegedly encouraged. However, in practice, we often see any significant variation or failure to comply with “the norm” is promptly denigrated and crushed whereas minor contextually non-threatening variations will be glorified under the guise of those alleged celebrations and encouragements. As with the previous statement we also see the ‘just’ qualifier in play here again. And much of what I noted for “you just want attention” can also be applied here. Additionally, it can be pointed out that there are any number of methods which could equally or even more successfully garner attention and/or separate one from the crowd such as mode of dress or any number of behaviors besides body modification. And many of these would have the additional potential benefit of being far less likely to attract negative results such as these and similar statements. So, one might make the case (and I think often successfully) that the real motivation being evidenced is that of trying to be one’s own self. If someone wants to tell me that I am just trying to be different I believe that I can more accurately show that I was already different and through my modifications I am simply trying to be myself on my own terms. But of course, I’m not surprised when at the end of my discourse I am greeted with another “Huh?”
|
What does your mother think? [The Lizardman]
|
Earlier this month I took suggestions in a forum on my IAM page for frequently asked questions that people would like to see columns written about. I took the suggestions and listed them in a poll which was, in turn, voted upon by visitors to my page. As a result of that voting a topic question for this column was chosen by the members of the IAM community, or at least those who chose to stop by and vote: What does your mother think? This is a question that I, like most body modification enthusiasts, have heard many, many times. Of course, it is just one variation on the theme of family reaction. As much as I do love my mother (who offered in jest to write this column when she heard about the topic) I do not want to leave out my father (whom many people have thought would disapprove due to either his teaching or military careers) or even my younger sister. Thus I prefer to respond in more general terms to the question: What does your family think? I have often commented upon how important my family is to me and that without their love and support I may not have had the strength or courage to do what I am doing today. It is obvious to anyone who gets to know me even a little bit that my family is very important to me and that I have a great relationship with them. Of course, many people expect just the opposite to be the case. Because of this and the fact that I am aware of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family, I make a concerted effort to point out my good fortune regularly. But getting back to the question, I often wonder, at least for an instant before boasting about my family, why does the inquisitor want to know what my family thinks? I’m not talking about interviews; this is a question that many people face regularly for no other reason than that they have chosen to modify their bodies. As with many of the more commonly asked questions, I suspect a masked hostility. I suspect it even more when the tone is seemingly unkind. And sometimes they even make it obvious — instead of asking the question they make a statement like ‘Oh, your poor mother’ or sarcastically quip ‘I bet your father is real proud.’ When I choose to dignify this type of behavior with a response, and per my confronting rudeness column I do believe it should be responded to, it is generally to announce that my mother is doing quite well and that both she and my father are happy to have raised a child that grew up knowing how to conduct themselves properly and politely — obviously unlike some people’s parents. So, just for fun now, let us consider why someone might ask what a person’s family thinks of their modifications. They might be legitimately curious but outside of people who are also modified, or considering it, and looking to find out about the situations of similar people to themselves I doubt this accounts for many questioners. Others might be looking to throw proverbial salt in what they suspect may be an open wound. I may be overly suspicious but I think this is the category into which the most will fall. There is also the chance that the person has not actually made up their mind about you and your modifications. It is certainly not uncommon for a person encountering someone with very public or unusual modifications to be thrown off balance. I have, on a few occasions, had people be clearly unsure of what to think of me that were then rather calmed and pleasant after finding out that my relationship with my family was quite positive. Ostensibly, this would mean that being able to maintain a good family bond indicated a positive trait for them and enough so as to remove concern over the behavior of modification. This leads me to the other question that sometimes leaps to my mind when people ask about family: ‘Why does it matter what my family thinks?’ I am an individual. And, I endorse some rather extreme forms of individualism. To me it seems perfectly rational to say that it doesn’t matter what my family thinks and it is far better that I live for myself. Circumstances have granted with me a family that loves and accepts me, but if things had been different it would be better that I struggled through living the way I wanted rather than caving in to pressure from them. I can understand why many people, as a result of social conditioning, would be highly inclined to believe that maintaining a good family relationship is admirable but I do not accept that it should come at the cost of one’s own self. As good as my relationship with my family is, I would be lying if I said there were not bumps in the road and there were times that I had to say I was going to go ahead regardless of what they thought. Fortunately, I found out that my family is open-minded and intelligent enough to love and respect me even more for following my own way. If this had not been the case things would have undoubtedly been harder for me but it would still have been the right thing for me to do, in my opinion, to go on without their support. I know that a lot of readers do not have the luxury of a family like mine. So, to close this column I want to move away from the topic question a bit and talk about dealing with family. As I have said before, clichés are clichés for a reason — there is truth in them. You don’t get to choose your family and you cannot escape that they are your relatives. As such, there is a certain prudence in taking extra care when dealing with family. Remember that it is a two way street — what hurts you, hurts them and what hurts them, hurts you. Particularly in dealing with parents you should keep in mind that, even if misinformed and misguided, much of their behavior arises out of deep concern for the well being of their children. My optimistic side makes me want to believe that if they truly love you they will eventually come around to realize it is more important that they accept you for who you are. Now, the potential of that future moment is, I realize, little comfort when in throws of what are often highly emotional and irrational battles but it is important to keep it in mind to prevent going past a point of no return. Your family is very likely trying to reconcile all sorts of information on modification, much of it poorly represented or blatantly misrepresented by popular media, and doing so in light of someone they love and care about being involved with it. Just as you should educate yourself about any modification you want to undertake, you should also, at least attempt to, educate your family and those who matter to you. Let them know, as best you can, about the history, method, and most importantly the personal significance. Do not ask them to somehow psychically divine your motives, especially when your actions may be very foreign to them. By involving and informing them you make it that much easier for them to be accepting even if they cannot fully understand.
BME Family Photos
|
Lizardman Q&A #8 [The Lizardman]
The brief respite from Q & A columns seems to have been a good thing as this time I got lots of fun questions. Hopefully you enjoy reading them with my responses as much I liked getting them.
|
And there you have it – see you next month!
 Erik Sprague
because the world NEEDS freaks… Former doctoral candidate and philosophy degree holder Erik Sprague, the Lizardman (iam), is known around the world for his amazing transformation from man to lizard as well as his modern sideshow performance art. Need I say more? Copyright © 2004 BMEzine.com LLC. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published September 25th, 2004 by BMEzine.com LLC in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
|