Big Superman Fan!

It says “Krytonian” in, you guessed it, Krytonian. This geeky tattoo was done at Inkslingers in Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK. It got me thinking — how would you tattoo Superman? I mean, if dude can get shot in the eye, then it’s not as if a tattoo needle isn’t going to just bounce off the skin, and even if you could temporarily weaken him enough to get the ink under his skin, would it last?

Jeez, I feel like I’m in Mallrats even thinking about that.

Brodie: It’s impossible, Lois could never have Superman’s baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I gurantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it’s strong enough to carry her child?
T.S.: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He’s an alien, for christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth’s yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom, but that would kill him.

22 thoughts on “Big Superman Fan!

  1. easy, he has to get all his tattooing done off-planet. somewhere that doesnt have a yellow sun. then his skin returns to normal!

    good to read you are feeling better, sorry its been such a drag lately. my thoughts and heart go out to you.

  2. You have no idea how much I love you for posting that mallrats thing!!! I LOVE that part! 🙂

  3. They kinda swiped that bit from Larry Niven. He has an absolutely funny essay/story about potential biological offspring of Superman.

  4. I can’t believe I’m saying this but…
    Even if it were possible to tattoo superman by weakening him somehow would it stay intact or would the ink just shoot right back out when he was back to full strength and power?
    Nice tattoo though.

  5. Now I want to see what Supergirl’s tattoo was! I never followed the comics.

    I lvoe the colour of the Kyptonian tattoo though – it looks more brown than black, almost burnt onto the skin.

  6. I often think what would happen if wolverine got a piercing. Would it just reject immediately or would it just heal immediately?

  7. Not to be an arse, but it’s spelled “Kryptonian”.
    I’ve never seen so many misspellings. *giggle*

  8. Marshall — Thanks for that link! I was searching for it but couldn’t find it because all that kept showing up in my searches was the bit from Mallrats.

  9. I always wondered the exact same thing about Wolverine. And, if the piercing did take.. could he ever stretch his ears, or would his piercing close right away after he removed the jewelery?

    I think if someone shot a taper at him with a gun it would work.

  10. Wolverine pierces the back of his hands with his own claws every time he uses them, and they heal right up again. He could probably stretch his lobes, but he’d need to be quick about it. I don’t think he would reject, but I really got no idea.

  11. In Ultimate X-Men, there is a scene where Wolverine tells Storm that he gets tattooed all the time to impress women, but that they heal and disappear in a few hours.

    As far as piercings go, perhaps he could just form a fistula practically INSTANTLY. The world may never know. Admittedly, the world may also never care, but pfft, the world is a silly place, heck with it.

  12. Wolverine would reject any piercing. I say that based on the movie Xmen 2 when he gets shot in the head and the bullet works its way out and the hole heals instantly. Thats my theory.

  13. The “R” (the second character) in the tatoo is WRONG. The good news is that it’s easy to correct, all it needs is a line at the bottom off-set to the right.

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