Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Nov. 7, 2008)

[Daily Mail] God this is the worst article ever. Local idiot Liz Jones chimes in with over 1,000 miserable words about how every tattoo a woman wears is a “tramp stamp” (and not just those placed in the manner displayed on the comely young lass in the above photo), and how all these misguided starlets are just ripping each other off forever and ever, with regard to everything:

Yes, I am talking about tattoos, the most tasteless, tacky, tawdry, terrible plague to infect our nation since mad cow disease.

Ha ha oh right, this clown is from Britain, where everybody gets BSE all the time, probably because the cows are all tattoo sluts. Tattoos are definitely worse than bacteria prions that eat your goddamn brain.

It is nigh on impossible these days to find a young, famous, beautiful woman who has not got a tattoo.

A reasonable person may notice this trend and note that perhaps there has been a paradigm shift and that, hey, pretty girls like tattoos, so maybe they’re not this uglifying force that some have thought them to be. Alas.

Danish model Freja Beha Erichsen has 12, including the word ‘float’ on her throat, while English rose Lily Donaldson has just the one – words of nonsense about her family on the inside of her left wrist.

What we can take away from this is that Liz Jones does not have a family, because she buried them under her house, but if she did, she would surely not do something as stupid as get any “words of nonsense” about them tattooed on her body. She would not “feel” any “feelings” about them, or try to “remember” or “pay tribute” to them. Because she is nature’s most perfect, soulless killing machine.

Musicians have long adored tattoos: Janis Joplin had a floral tattoo bracelet, which has clearly inspired the tattoos sported by Joss Stone, who has garlands of flowers on her feet.

The words “clearly inspired” suggest a direct causal relationship. I’ve never listened to Joss Stone and probably could not pick her out of a line-up — is there any reason to believe that she got flower tattoos because Janis Joplin did first? Based on the nonsense that comprises the rest of this article, I’m going to guess no, and that in addition to being a sensationalist, Liz Jones is also a piss-poor logician.

What I hate most about all these celebrity tattoos is not just that they have spawned a rash of copycats the length and breadth of the nation, it is that tattoo wearers think that by writing on themselves, a la Angelina Jolie, they are somehow ‘alternative’, ‘deep’ and ‘profound’, that they have meaning in their lives.

Wow, she is still talking. I’ve skipped several hundred words already and this thing just keeps going. I feel like I’ve always been reading this.

I particularly detest the tattooing of names of loved ones, a la Johnny Depp and his ‘Winona Forever’, or David Beckham and his tattoo of his son Brooklyn’s name. It is as if the person is trying to say: ‘I love my son/boyfriend/wife more than you love yours.’

Someone’s projecting!

When I mentioned this saddest incarnation of the tat to Helen Mirren, who has the Indian Lakesh symbol, meaning ‘whole woman’, inscribed just below the thumb on her left hand, she rolled her eyes. (Helen Mirren is, by the way, the only woman in her 60s I can think of who doesn’t look ridiculous sporting a tattoo).

She got hers when she was drunk one night on a theatre tour in Minnesota. ‘It was years before tattoos became fashionable. I’m appalled they have become middle class,’ she said. ‘There is no respect for rebellion any more.’

For what it’s worth, Helen Mirren, in addition to being a pretty tremendous actor, also thinks that date-rape is a hilarious joke and that woman should just get over it, so perhaps she is not the most astute cultural observer of all time.

Jones then ends the article by telling a brief story about her friend’s grandmother, who is a holocaust survivor, and thus has a concentration camp number tattooed on her wrist. According to Liz Jones, this is the only sort of tattoo that it is acceptable for a person to have nowadays.

[News.com.au] Here we’ve got an uncharacteristically positive story about Body Integrity Identity Disorder and amputation as a viable course of action for those suffering from it. The proponent, Christopher Ryan, is a psychiatrist at the University of Sydney, and, while he doesn’t propose just cold cutting off folks’s legs whenever they want, he does admit that, after the proper evaluations have been done, many can be effectively “cured,” and that such procedures should be “likened to plastic surgery.”

“I realise that the idea strikes almost everyone as lunatic when they first hear it. However, there are a small number of people who see themselves, and have always seen themselves, as amputees,” he said.

“They are often miserable their whole lives because of their ‘extra limb’, and we know that at least some of them feel much better if it is removed.”

42 thoughts on “Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Nov. 7, 2008)

  1. “Ha ha oh right, this clown is from Britain, where everybody gets BSE all the time, probably because the cows are all tattoo sluts.”

    That’s a great way to show you and the articles author share the same IQ!

  2. unfortunately the Daily Mail will always publish suck bollocks as this. it is the most hideously right wing paper, this is not the only insulting story to come out of it, since it only seems to support middle class white British citizens. you should do everyone a favour and not look at it ever again. :)

  3. I get it. People are entitled to their opinions.. even if they think girls with tattoos are nothing but trailer trash sluts with low self esteem.
    I hate to burst an opinionated bubble.. but I am the proud owner of MANY tattoos, graduated valedictorian, the complete opposite of slut, and use tattoos as a means of taking my body back and making it my own after YEARS of abuse.
    Seems to me..the british lad is the one with low self esteem. And uses *judgement* to make herself feel better. To say “It’s not my thing” is one thing… to lump all tattoo owners in one big pile of fodder is another…. shame on her.

    I actually feel a little sorry for her now…

  4. Oh, man… She has opened my eyes and made me realize that I’m white trash slut…

    damn… now I have to reevaluate my life…
    Thank you Liz Jones… You have shown me the error of my ways.

    P.s. I’m going to tattoo your forehead in your sleep.

  5. I do not believe that this is a “comely young lass”. because if that lass had to shave clumps of hair from her back to get tattooed, i think that not only makes her no longer comely but also not a lass. also, with that nasty faded/stained underwear and sagging pants… yeah. thats no lass.

    ridiculous artice, btw. twas a good laugh

  6. Liz’s comments strike me as inappropriately jealous. Perhaps it’s simply because she’s never had the mind or independence to acquire a tattoo, or perhaps she envies the celebrities themselves that sport their beautiful tattoos.
    Clearly, Hellen Millen’s trauma has severely skewed her views on rape, and probably life in general.
    But I do have to say, the response to Liz’s article that was broken down in pieces just seems a little childish in places to me. :/

    P.S. If it is a lady portrayed with the tattoo, I don’t care how much body hair she has, and I don’t see why anyone else would, either. I have an amazing announcement to make: ladies have body hair, too. If it weren’t custom to shave in some cultures, it could actually be quite thick. So if it is a lady, boo to those of you who criticize Liz Jones for her lack of expression, while attacking the woman for her personal choices.

  7. i didnt really read the artical because it looked to long to be read. but this picture is hilarious for some reason. i instantly busted out laughing

  8. There’ll always be idiots out there, like this Liz Jones character.
    Anyone here from Victoria, Australia will see in Liz a remarkable likeness to our own faux journalist Andrew Bolt of the “Herald Sun”, a talentless and reactionary writer paid to stir up trouble and inflame ‘public opinion’

  9. you do realise this is ‘cos the daily mail is the WORST english paper ever, bar ‘the sun’! you won’t find interlect atall, so i guess its fine

  10. What a mature way to reply to this article, quoting Liz Jones’ words and then ridiculing her life which you cannot possibly know anything about. I read the article and it made me feel quite angry that she judges what she’s never actually experienced but decided to be grown up about it and ignore it for the waste of printing ink and total twaddle it was. Grow up guys.

  11. oh god i hate the daily mail. if i ever have the “opportunity” to read it, i read it as though it’s a joke book. i can’t believe they take themselves seriously! they got jonathon ross and russell brand chucked off the BBC. stop attacking everything i like!!!!

    i laughed all the way through this, thanks jordan!

  12. Unfortunately she hasn’t actually noticed when she’s writing crap, because she seems to spend most of her life moaning about her ex husband. Articles like this completely illustrate the Daily Mail’s fascism

  13. The Daily Mail hates everything. They like to think that if only we could get rid of all these bloody bogus asylum seekers and crazy homos looking for equal rights then we would have a perfect society. They’re stuck in about 1950 and they miss the ‘good old days’ of legal discrimination. Oh yeah, and if Diana had never died it would all be so much better.

    Incidentally, I hadn’t heard those remarks Helen Mirren made, but they make me sad. And that woman in the Mirror… If she can’t see that you don’t have to be held against a wall in an alleyway by a stranger with a knife to be raped then I don’t know how anyone can make her understand. The fact that anyone, let alone a woman, would say something like that makes my blood boil.

  14. My friend bought me a badge a while back that says “Hated by the Daily Mail”. I am going to go fish it out and stick it on my coat XD What a vile, judgemental bitch that woman must be and it would really suck to be her.

  15. My favourite part is that if you read the comments on the article, many of them are in the vein of, “well, I have a tattoo, but it’s quite tasteful actually. However, I hate all other tattoos except my own small kanji symbol. Therefore, I am the sole exception that proves the rule of your theory, Liz.”
    *rolls eyes*

  16. for the advantage of all non-british BME readers the daily mail is a tabloid newspaper masquerading as a broadsheet that is owned by the murdoch news empire, it largely broadcasts right wing oppinions on things like asylum seekers and immigrant workers and is notoriously full of more opinion than fact.
    in my opinion everything that is written in it should be ignored, if not doodled over or burned.

  17. Can’t help but think of a certain Fry and Laurie quote (I’m paraphrasing a little here) “… I read the Daily Mail, I just prefer it to a newspaper”

  18. When I started reading this I should have known it was by someone like Liz Jones.


    “…while English rose Lily Donaldson has just the one – words of nonsense about her family on the inside of her left wrist.”

    This is coming from a woman who writes articles for the Daily Mail’s Sunday magazine which, when it comes down to it, basically consists of a whole lot of whining.
    The following is a brief summary of the life story she has and is gracing us lucky British people with: how awful her husband was and how she wanted a divorce so she could be free and happy again (he cheated on her multiple times…you can begin to see why), a play-by-play of the details of her separation, her stuggle to make her new life by herself work and become happy, and then some more whining, because she still isn’t happy.

  19. Your comments for to the article (not the user comments above) are equally ignorant! I feel like you wasted my time with your one-sided opinion, luckily I didn’t finish reading that nonsense.

  20. I’m actually less bothered by the article itself (I expect nothing short of idiocy from raggy journalists who couldn’t research an article properly if their lives depended on it) than I am that so many people agreed with it. Tasteless, horrendous, repulsive, disgusting, mutilation, disgusting, trashy, classless, disfiguring, hideous… every time I read a comment I find an adjective that really bothers me more than anything else does. I will definitely be going ahead with my tattoos, and I really doubt I’ll ever regret them, but it’s disappointing knowing the kinds of reactions I’m going to be getting.

  21. oh THATS who liz jones is. if id have realised its that same liz jones who whines about her ex husband and prefers her horses to men, i wouldn’t have bothered reading the article. shes like a little girl pretending to be a journalist. bless.

  22. @ Brit (No 1): You are not Britain, these people do unserstand humor, satirics and irony.
    @ Sugar lippy (No 18): The best ans simple-most comment would be that this fuckass “Jones” is simply an ignorant dumb asshole. But to do a bit fun about that trah was a quite decent, nice idea
    @ Torben (No 30): The same. Why not replying onesided agains dumbfuck???

    That article shows the quality of that toilet-paper, which is seriously much worse, that anything here in France, in Austria od in Germany (even die “Bild” is quality), this paper equals the sun, this paper destroys intelligence and mind of the reader, this paper is kind of mental violence against the customers.
    What ever Liz Jones is – she is an irnorant dumpfuck, not worth to think about.
    While it is not worth to think about this bloody heap of shit, it is worth to thing (and quarrel) about what it is doing to the brains of the readers.

  23. “And while the agony of having a tattoo has been likened to childbirth – the most painful areas are anywhere that is bony, and on the tender flesh of the inside of the wrist – ”

    Where did she hear that? Wrist is not painful at all! Silly lady…

  24. 14 – i was just about to type something similar. He has some points but none seem his opinion or well written

  25. cardboardfrog – The Mail is owned by DMGT, not News Corp. I agree with pretty much everything else though.

    Ironically enough, Paul Dacre (mail editor) is on the news this morning having made a speech bemoaning the concept of privacy vis a vis the press. He seems to think that his own moral compass gives him the right to legislate on what constitutes privacy vs public interest above that of a high-court judge.

    Oh and a shameless plug: http://www.redmolotov.com/catalogue/tshirts/all/daily-mail-warned-you-about-tshirt.html

  26. Oh Liz Jones… Bless…

    After reading her weekly column in a sunday supplement, I think it would be fair to say that this woman doesn’t really treat life for living at all. She needs to get out of the house away from her cats more often.

  27. 39- it isn’t actually printed. it’s a spoof, hinting at the racism of the daily mail newspaper.

  28. Just so you know, anyone with more common sense than a retarded infant in Britain knows that the Daily Fail is one of the biggest heaps of shite in the entire country, and are therefore completely unsurprised by any of this.

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