[KXII] Let’s file this one under the “There’s Got to be a Better Way” department: A woman in Ardmore, Oklahoma, recently got a tattoo (right) in tribute to her son, Maddox, and, whoops, looks like somebody made a typo! She and her husband are pretty broken up about it.
“It bothers me everyday. I have a couple I should get taken off as well. I’m tired of looking at it like that too,” Mike Burmeister says.
Burmeister says the mistake has been difficult on him and his wife.
“She broke down and cried over the whole thing. I was pretty perturbed. I even shed a tear over the whole thing.”
… sounds rough. Except! The artist who did the tattoo tells a different story!
Robert Ortiz, the owner of Ink Spot Tattoos and the artist who tattooed Burmeister’s wife. Ortiz says he did nothing wrong, and that burmeister’s wife walked out of his shop completely satisfied.
“I asked her, ‘Everything fine? Everything look exactly how you want?’ She says, ‘This is exactly what I want, I’m very happy with it,’” Ortiz says.
“She gave me a tip and left.”
Burmeister and his wife claim they just want the tattoo fixed, which seems like a reasonable request and something that could have been accomplished by, hmm, going back to the tattoo shop? At no point in the article is it mentioned that anyone actually tried to remedy the situation before going to the press about it, which is a curious method of settling such matters. This is because there are no telephones in Ardmore, Oklahoma, and when somebody has a problem, they march up to the local television station with tears in their eyes and a story to tell, the end.
[Connecticut Post] Haha, but lucky for Robert Ortiz, he doesn’t live in war-torn Stratford, Connecticut! In this similar-but-worse story, 18-year-old Noel Gonzalez got the name “Teresa” tattooed on his arm by local artist John Velikonja, but, of course, it was misspelled, because tattoo artists exist only to cause pain and misery to others. Well, our young hero didn’t take kindly to this slight, and responded in the only appropriate manner: by threatening to kill Velikonja. Hooray!
Gonzalez [...] demanded that he fix it.
When Velikonja refused, police said, Gonzalez pulled out a .25-caliber semi-automatic handgun, racked it and allegedly told the tattoo artist, “You’re gonna finish my [tattoo] now.”
OK, first of all, why in the holy hell would Velikonja not fix the goddamn tattoo? Who taught this guy customer service? You’re already there—fix the tattoo! If I go to Subway and order a sandwich and the guy accidentally throws some olives on there after I told him not to, he doesn’t tell me to go screw myself—he takes the olives off and probably gives me a free cookie. You hear that, Velikonja? Cookies.
Anyway, Gonzalez is still a nut-case for pulling out a gun, and his next actions probably didn’t do him any favors, either:
Velikonja then allegedly played a phone message for police that Gonzalez left him after the confrontation in which there is the sound of a gun being racked and then laughter.
On the bright side, Gonzalez will have plenty of opportunities to get this tattoo fixed in the future, in prison. Haha, just kidding, he’s out on bail.