No.

[Union Leader] The last time we checked in with Meghan McCain, the spunky daughter of the Republican presidential nominee, she was overheard mentioning that she wanted a new tattoo, but that she would wait until her father’s campaign for president was over. Thoughtful! But now the truth comes out — she’s waiting until after the election because she has issued an ultimatum to YOU, the voter!

If Sen. John McCain wins the presidency in a little more than three weeks, his daughter said she’ll tattoo “Live Free or Die” somewhere on her body.

Of course, he would have to win in New Hampshire, too, said Meghan McCain, who was in Nashua yesterday thanking volunteers at the McCain-Palin campaign office.

The tattoo, which would probably go on her wrist, would be her way of commemorating her father’s run for the presidency, she said. It was in New Hampshire that McCain revived his faltering presidential bid during the presidential primary in January.

“New Hampshire is so important to me and my family,” she said.

Earlier, McCain told a supporter that she would be “extremely depressed” if her dad loses in New Hampshire.

Sold. It’s up to you now, heroes: If you don’t vote McCain (especially you New Hampshire pinkos), you may as well say that you hate tattoos and that you don’t think anyone (ESPECIALLY FREE-SPIRITED YOUNG WOMEN, YOU SEXISTS) should suffer the indignity of getting one. The choice is yours.

[Macy Survey Site] Are you a man? Do you have a genital piercing? Do you love surveys? Well hot holy damn, are you ever in luck. Elayne Angel sends in this online survey being conducted by body art researcher Myrna Armstrong: http://www.macysurveysite.com/gpsurveys.htm. Armstrong has been publishing body modification-related articles in medical journals for a few years now and, says Elayne: “I believe she’s more interested in the information than in making judgments.”

[Chicago Sun Times] Ha ha, now this is a clever scam. North Sider Marcos Paiz posted a Craigslist ad offering Chicago-area tattoo artists a once in a lifetime deal: To tattoo him — get this — for free! Wait, wait, if you’re still reading this and haven’t rushed out the door to find this brave human canvas, here are the details:

“Essentially, I would really love to have my whole torso covered in tattoos,” said Paiz, a 29-year-old flight attendant from Lake View. “I think it would be good to have free art work.”

[…] He’s thinking some “greenery and flowers” down his back would be nice. But he’s open to an artist’s ideas — as long as they don’t include swastikas, Satanic symbols or “something totally crazy.”

And free would be nice, he figures.

The article then quotes Nick Colella, the owner of Chicago Tattoo Company, who gives some claptrap about this being a “disturbing trend fueling the rise of in-home and back-alley tattoo operations” and that the people who think this sort of thing is acceptable probably don’t know the first thing about sterilization or blood-borne pathogens and that you should “pay” for “high-quality work,” but get real. Paiz is a visionary, and God knows he’s got some valuable lessons to pass on. So with this in mind, I’m just throwing it out there, but if there are any chefs who would like to cook me a gourmet meal in exchange for the satisfaction of knowing you have bettered yourself and improved your craft, please e-mail me as soon as possible. It’s almost dinner time.