Pulling the Trigger



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About Shannon Larratt

Shannon Larratt is the founder of BME (1994) and its former editor and publisher. After a four year hiatus between 2008 and 2012, Shannon is back adding his commentary to ModBlog. It should be noted that any comments in these entries are the opinion of Shannon Larratt and may or may not be shared by BMEzine.com LLC or the other staff or members of BME. Entry text Copyright © Shannon Larratt. Reproduced under license by BMEzine.com LLC. Pictures may be copyright to their respective owners. You can also find Shannon at Zentastic or on Facebook.

73 thoughts on “Pulling the Trigger

  1. Haha, my girlfriend made me aware of the discussion about the triggering urges discussion, and Dimruthien, if you read this my friend – stop reading this. It is obviously just an outlet for a lot of pent up aggression. And people, this is gonna take off on this entry as well no doubt, as every fucker out there has become the fuckin moral police lately (pardon my language) – Modblog and BME is about documenting what the frickin label says. It has risk sections. It encourages exploration, and it encourages independent thought. I know I know, a lot of people have found BME, done ‘stupid shit’ and regretted it, but THAT IS NOT BME’s FAULT. People are responsible to themselves. Lest Shannon came to your house, held a gun to your head and say “start cutting sunshine, or I’ll REALLY make you bleed”, you should stop whining now. sure, some people are depressed, unstable, and may push things further because of BME’s influence. Sure. Some people allegedly listened to Rock, Metal, or Rap, and it made them kill people. People are fucked, that’s the be-all and end-all. We are living in a world where peanut bags say ‘may contain traces of nuts’ – let’s just let something contain traces of thought. Let’s assume for once that people can make their own decisions.

    And hell man, I spent several hundred pounds getting my lobes put back together post stretching because I am now aiming to work in health care and thought it might help my chances, but I am not blaming BME. We choose, we live with the consequences. Pssscchht.

    Sorry for being my own worst enemy here by the way.

  2. moldy surface to be doing that cutting in…maybe a tid bit more sanitary might prevent infection…….

  3. #5 – wow. Someone didn’t spell ‘tidbit’ as ‘titbit’ for once. Always makes me giggle.

    Hope she rinses the cuts off well and doesn’t just soak in the tub water afterwards.

  4. This should be behind a link. I don’t care if you think it’s mutilation, or expression, or both, or something else altogether, it’s common decency to put it behind a link. That’s not a cause for outrage, or saying I’m asking you to stifle everyone’s freedom of expression. It’s being nice to those who do find this sort of thing triggering. And God forbid anyone should ever do that.

  5. She’s very cute (and yes, the boobies look nice), but I have to agree; that bathroom desperately needs a hose-down with exit-mould :)

    Cutting’s definitely not my cup of tea, but that chest ink is fuckin badass, I love it.

  6. not sure if i like her tattoos very much, but the one on her chest is flattering and she is very cute

  7. personally it makes me a bit sad to see people cut themselves like this. it reminds me of 2 people i knew. they had eyes filled with sadness and arms covered in hundreds of scarred lines. i wish i could have said something to tell them that i understand.

  8. My arms are covered in hundreds of crisscrossed scars I wouldnt remove them and while I dont “identify” shitty word I know, as a cutter anymore. I still enjoy blood play for fun. I dont try and hide my scars and I dont expect people to offer me words to say they understand.
    Love the pic even the nasty bathroom and not a trigger. Just hot :D

  9. Haha I’m pretty sure her bathroom is cleaner than mine… I wouldn’t have even thought of it as being nasty…but apparently everyone else does. I feel gross now.

    Anyway, pretty girl, I like her wrist tattoo.

  10. #4: Why would I give a shit about your opinion? I took the necessary action in outlining my concerns to Shannon (as I would hope anyone would do on one of my websites) and those concerns were ignored.

    I really don’t care what anyone else thinks of my concerns, such as whether or not they were unfounded. I actually stated in one of the emails I sent to Shannon that I apologise if my concerns were unfounded.

    All this entry is is a baited line, and I won’t take the bait I’m sorry. I already know what kind of person Shannon is, I don’t need to bitch fight with him again here to be sure of that. I also don’t need to justify myself to you, Shannon, or anyone else out there reading this.

    I hope you all have a lovely day. Kiss kiss.

  11. This chicks a cool one :) But her hair is getting so shaggy!!

    Anyway. Everyone takes their own risks being on the internet. And if there is anyone out there who’s doing their best to avoid triggers, certainly a blood-splattered place like modblog isn’t the place to be doing it.
    I think someone’s looking for an excuse to BE triggered, not to avoid them.

    That being said, I’m a big fan of cutting. I think people get too whiney over it in some cases. Btw, I always cut in conditions like that and have yet to get an infection. Actually think it may have strengthened my resistance <3

  12. Serenity – Congrats on making a rational, sensible and productive modblog post. It’s certainly one of the most intelligent things I’ve read on here lately.

    Dimruthien – STFU – if you are so upset about Shannon ignoring you (and who can blame, with the drivel you so often spout), vote with your feet, stop reading modblog, and find something new to whinge about.

  13. Serenity,

    “I know I know, a lot of people have found BME, done ’stupid shit’ and regretted it, but THAT IS NOT BME’s FAULT.”


    . “sure, some people are depressed, unstable, and may push things further because of BME’s influence. ”

    thanks for negating your own arguement.

    i don’t want to start any shit because i know its been running rampant in there parts lately. I DO want to make sure that body modification and and purposefully hurting yourself are not the same thing.

  14. 28 – No, it’s not. I wrote a paper about it once because a lot of people were approaching me and stating that body modification was self injury. While someone may pierce themselves (as an example) with a self injurious intent, it does not mean all piercing is self injury.

    It was a long paper I wrote anyway, but unfortunately it didn’t do much good. Most of the people it was aimed at still feel that tattoos, piercings, branding, etc were self mutilation.

    It all comes down to intent, more than anything.

  15. auterlife – your insight is astounding, if these people with negative disposition hadn’t found BME they definitely wouldn’t have ever done anything they regret. go study logic before you throw around claims about self-negating arguments.

  16. I find it strange how, as a reformed cutter, pics of deliberate scarification don’t bother me, but these kinds of pics still make me feel a bit unsettled. While I don’t cut anymore for SI purposes, I still enjoy bloodplay, and I also support scarification and such as body modification. It’s hard though for me, when the lines of intent start to blur. I wonder if there’s support groups or something like that for those of us who don’t want to self-harm anymore, but still want to express ourselves sexually and physically by cutting.

  17. I have nothing to contribute to the argument here, but I think the whole situation should have been left alone, seeing as it was a sore subject (excuse the pun). Whilst the entry is wonderful in its own right – and I’m all for ritual cutting on modblog, with the recent discussions about self-harm, the obviously concerned readers (unfounded or not) shouldn’t be made fun of like this. A community listens to its members and their issues, and certainly doesn’t taunt them with such titles, which is what I see here.

  18. Hmmm twice now Shannon the ‘sacraficial lamb ‘ now this.What are you trying to prove? I also think this should be behind a link ,no it does not trigger me but it triggers some so why do this? Im begining to wonder about you Shannon lately you seem very different to the person I thought you were. I help run a site for people who were sexually abused as children, disturbing links have always got a trigger warning.
    No one is asking you to take on the responsibily for everyone who reads here but a little thought could go a long way, but Im begining to think you dont care about anyone really has your ego got so big that its your way or the highway?
    Im sad :(

  19. 36 – I’ve been a member of a SI community on the net for a long time and that question is often bought up. The thought that “I’m not doing this to hurt myself anymore, but because I like it” gets passed around a lot. No one is taunted for feeling that way, or told they need help, etc. Maybe because a lot of people do feel that way. I’m not sure if a support group exists specifically for those people, but there’s definitely a percentage of people in the “community” that feel that way!

    If you want a link to the community and have IAM, you can IM me :) It’s a good community, with a really wide user base. By wide user base, I mean people from all walks of life with all sorts of interests.

  20. Stephanie, do you have any photos of the moth? I think it’s a moth anyway. I looked on your IAM but I didn’t see any photos of it. What’s the significance of it, etc?

    Reason I ask is because I’m a bit of a Thomas Harris fan so the moth set off my hannibal-sense ;)

  21. Not to sound rude, but if you guys want to ask me stuff feel free to email me at [email protected], I don’t want this to turn into an off topic chat room or anything =]

    And about these pictures, Shannon has definitely posted pictures of people covered in cuts and SI scars in the past. It’s not a new thing at all. Everyone was bitching when Shannon wasn’t updating Modblog and saying they wanted him back, and now that he’s back they’re complaining that what he is posting isn’t good enough? There will always be things posted that you may not like or agree with, and it’s your choice whether you give them the time of day or not.

  22. mexie – Equating not plastering the site with warnings to satisfy people with ongoing psychological struggles with having a run away ego is really a stretch.

    The fact is that every section of BME is triggering depending on the individual — piercing, tattoos, suspension, play piercing, cbt, all of it. It’s completely ridiculous to put a warning on everything. Readers know what BME is. If they can’t handle it, they shouldn’t be reading it.

  23. wow…she’s beautiful…its blood play…i don’t see what the big deal is…she’ll have some light scarring…those wounds are very superficial (not deep) and i doubt they’d put her in any real danger…while i’m all for safety links being provided for extreme modification work that could put people in danger, worrying about this triggering someone to harm themselves is a bit silly…why not enjoy the fact that there’s a bloody, hot-naked girl on modblog? i know i am ;)

  24. #28 It’s not worth saying anything but ‘you are welcome’ to that, and I’ll leave you to interpret as you wish. :)

    Seriously though. Of course there is a difference between self harm in a mental health contect and blood play for the sake of blood play. My point is merely that what I said. People are responsible to themselves. If movies, music, or BME affects them to a degree where they loose control over themselves, they need help to resolve their problems, not censorship left right and centre. Just my 2 ..pence.

  25. auteurlife (or anyone) – Can you coherently explain the difference to me between cutting, play piercing, and suspension, in terms of “self-harm” versus “not self-harm”?

  26. (48 – *context)

    Shannon, I think I see where you are going with that..

    I do however think there is a difference between what falls under the traditional definition of self-harm (obviously one could argue that everything that is physically harmful to oneself is self-harm), and what falls under ritualistic play. It’s a pretty grey area, but maybe the difference between the two would be outcome to the person involved. It’s a bit of a utilitarian standpoint, but yeah if the action of harming oneself produces more positive effects than negative, or another way to put it is motivation. What is the motivation behind the act? E.g. Is it to punish yourself in a self destructive way, or because you like the sensation/enjoy blood/similar..? And I do think most instances of self destructive behaviour shows up as cutting. If you feel bad right now, cutting seems more available to a wider populace on the spot.

    I think the point you are getting at is that it doesn’t matter though. It is not BME’s duty to discriminate between the two and decide who is stabile enough to “self harm in a cheerful way”. And too right it isn’t.

    Hope that made sense.

  27. You are missing my point which maybe I didnt put across well. Its the ‘pulling the trigger’ headline which is antagonistic and to my mind its a deliberate ploy on your part to get people to have a go at you, so that others can defend you. Thats what my ego comment was about, you deliberatly baiting people and calling people haters if they dont agree with you ,no one as far as ive read is asking you to plaster the site with warnings though a little common sense wouldnt go amiss.With ‘power’ comes responsibility maybe not wanted but its a fact.Oh btw where are my stickers.

  28. mexie – Trust me, I don’t need anyone else to defend me, I’m quite self confident! But it’s true, it is antagonistic, but I do like being antagonistic toward people who attack BME from time to time.

  29. I think this is a really nice picture, with some nice mods to top it. But dang! Those tiles are filthy! XD

  30. it’s a shame you didnt splatter some of that blood on the wall, and unless shes on immuno-suppressing drugs or something i doubt the dirty bathroom would be much of a threat, and the difference to me between self harm and cutting for fun is that people who are ‘self harming’ wouldnt go post pictures on the internet for the entire world to see because i doubt people in that situation want the whole world judging them. But its just an opinion, ive never felt the need to cut in a negative way thankfully so im just an outsider in that sense, just hear to enjoy the pictures.

  31. i’m not going to lie, the state of her bathroom makes me twitch… but less than that messy kitchen photo set.

  32. Although I’ve done some cutting I’ve regretted, images like this one don’t offend or trigger me. (Being upset about something is what triggers me.) Of course, that’s just one person’s experience.

    On the other hand, big photos of modified genitals don’t offend me, either … and they ARE usually hidden here behind a small/blurred version of the image. Is it because people requested the clickthrough, or are there legal reasons, etc.?

    Last but not least, Stephanie is lovely. :]

  33. Outright genital shots are blurred/click-thru in part to make it a little safer for browsing if someone is looking over your shoulder — just to keep things in “R” rated rather than “X” rated territory I suppose.

  34. i love it :) yea i know cutting is bad….i was in a psych ward for that shit and some other stuff for three fucking years but hell i wouldn’t get rid of my scars for anything. people need to relax on the whole cutting thing…no one is going to die tonight and she obviously doesn’t look ready to off herself to me. looks like she is quite happy right there…ENJOYING BLOOD PLAY that just happens to be in the form of cutting so yea…take it for what it is because i think we could go on for hours on self injury and triggering people and suicide and risks…..the truth is you can’t prevent triggering people that used to cut…i know because i used to. with some people i knew in hospitals ANYTHING could trigger them wanting to cut…not just blood or images of cutting and sometimes those weren’t even triggers…it was usually emotional triggers like extreme anger, sadness, boredom, flash backs….shit like that. i support the shannon in posting this because if someone has that much of a problem with self injury….they shouldn’t be on any site like this….PERIOD. If a picture could trigger symptoms, a bloody picture with cuts and this site is full of bloody pictures, then the cutter or ex-cutter should be smart enough to know what could and could not trigger them and avoid it (i.e. bmezine/modblog). with people who are easily triggered like that, and i had a roommate like that for 7 months, they can’t really even see blood sometimes so sites like these can be a huge . NO. but the rest of us shouldn’t have to suffer because a few people are testing their personal limits. know thyself. know ones body. know ones mind. know ones limits. for the people who don’t and who choose to go on sites that could trigger past issues…smarten up and maybe once you work through your issues a bit more and you aren’t so easily “triggered”, then come back and enjoy modblog…until then i say you should come at your own risk..but thats just me.

  35. it’s crazy because i met this girl like 2 hours before i saw this picture…. just one of those weird coincidence things!

  36. if i saw this anywhere else, i would immediately think it was self-harm and a psychological problem. here, everything just becomes body modification. sometimes people don’t do this as art, guys.

  37. Caitlin, No one has said whether it was a problem, or for fun,as art, or anything. If someone had bothered to ask about their origin, then I would have told them.

  38. The tiles aren’t even dirty, it’s just the grout on half the shower meaning the water probably does it and that crap is hard to clean off.

    And Stephanie, I *would* actually be interested in the real reason for the cuts. If a picture of someone’s tattoo also had some accidental scratches on it would people still be arguing with shannon to put warnings about triggers?

  39. I wish stuff like this wasn’t so socially unnacceptable :( I think it’s so beautiful

  40. it’s interesting- self harm verses scarification. people get the two confused a lot. i don’t know the roots of her intentions, nor do i care. it’s a nice photo though

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