Church of England Vicar is a Master of “Satire”

Things aren’t perfect for gay people in the west, but at least the chances of being carted off from a gay wedding, lashed and forced to undergo hormone treatment are relatively low. It’s unfortunate that people still have to take a “lesser of two evils” approach when judging where the safest or most pleasant place to live is according to their sexual orientation, but as “gay” culture continues to merge with the mainstream, ideas of “acceptance” and “tolerance” seem to be yielding to some sort of happy apathy — little by little, it feels like people are starting to just not care about the hated gay menace so long as they’re willing to buy their defaulted homes from them and such.

Of course, for every step in the right direction, there are still morons. (So many morons.) Take Rev. Peter Mullens, a Church of England minister located in London who thought he was being very clever when he wrote the following on his blog:

Mullen, 66, wrote it was time for religious believers to recommend the discouragement of homosexual practices in the style of cigarette packet warnings.

“Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan sodomy can seriously damage your health and their chins with fellatio kills.” [Ed. Note: Emphasis mine.]

[…] Mullen played down the posts, which he described as “light-hearted jokes”.

“I wrote some satirical things on my blog and anybody with an ounce of sense of humour or any understanding of the tradition of English satire would immediately assume that they’re light-hearted jokes.”

Ha ha, now that’s a hilarious joke! What a card that guy is! Because forcibly tattooing people so as to single them out among the population has no historical connotations whatsoever! [Ed. Note: Godwin‘d.]

Mullens went on to read from the Transparent Bigot’s handbook and mentioned that he has many gay friends whom he loves dearly — it’s just that he doesn’t like the “militant preaching of homosexuality” that doesn’t actually exist at all, anywhere, ever. Well, that and the buttsex. Ha ha, gross!

Vicar could be disciplined for blog slurs against gays and Muslims []

40 thoughts on “Church of England Vicar is a Master of “Satire”

  1. It kinda bugs me how this place keeps going on about not being bigoted and being fair. But then keeps on pumping out these ‘commentary’ pieces where essentially it’s taking an article and acting like a bigger idiot that the original author. Especially with a comment like”the Transparent Bigot’s handbook”. Come on, kettle meet pot, apparently you’re both black.

  2. In Ireland where i live, its the exact same shit going on!
    When I came out as a lesbian 4 years ago, i was basically condemned my my family.
    People should realise that we’re JUST gay..we’re not pedophiles or murderers so STOP TRYING TO HATE US. 🙂
    Though I know most people are so tolerent and open minded and for that i say thank you!

  3. Number 1, I agree, and had a conversation along those lines with friends on the weekend. Initially, it was good for a chuckle – the article about the shocked girl and her new bf’s tattoo? priceless – but this article is really not worth posting and criticizing on a body modification website. I think we all know tattoos have been used for more sinister purposes in the past, so I wasn’t wowed by that history lesson, which seemed the point of the response…

    More artwork and intelligent or genuinely funny content please, less of Jordan’s ego.

  4. I honestly don’t see the point in brining to light the ignorant and intolerant. We all know they exist… if I wanted to subject myself to these kinds of stories I would watch the news, not come to modblog.. *shakes head*

  5. Ah yes, the old ignore it and maybe it will go away attitude. That always works.

    Seriously, the guy suggested forcibly tattooing people for a vile and bigoted reason. How is that not applicable to a BodyMod website?

    Also, this is a blog that posts photos of extreme mods and profanity tattood on people’s bodies and you’re gettign upset about one of the writers having an opinion? What the hell is wrong with you people?

  6. now we just need someone to actually get these tattoos.

    hmmm. 🙂

    and, i have no problem with articles like this being on modblog. thanks Jordan.

  7. haha, bigots are sad inside. i still love them though (they’re people just like me and you when the smoke and cameras disappear). i think a “fellatio kills” tattoo would fucking kill, or maybe “warning: my fellatio kills” or something like that on your tongue. kinda makes me think of Robyn lyric from “jack u off” : “You’ll have an instant heart attack if I’ll jack u off.”

  8. ya know when the “some of my freinds” line comes out, hes only met one or two.

    Wouldn’t a better tattoo be “Sodomy’s between god and me” and a nifty “Fellatio sucks”

  9. As a related side-note:
    I saw an ad for the shop that “Mister Cartoon” works at and actually found myself saying “WTF” out loud when I saw in Juxtapos magazine the he lists NO HIV among the rules of his shop.

    Obviously there are precautions to take in tattooing someone with HIV and in some cases I can agree with not doing it (in the case where the clients immune system simply wouldn’t heal it) but to see it in an ad like that made me realize how backwards some people are.

  10. i like this stuff. even if jordan is inserting his opinion here, it happens to be his right to do so (he brought it to your attention because he was making a point.) if you disagree with him, by all means say it. but it doesn’t make him a bigot/egotistical/etc.

  11. mr cartoon is obviously the dopest. maybe you should go to east LA you can exercise your cultural tolerance for less tolerant cultures

  12. hmm, i’m going to dubai in few weeks (for a wedding ironically). must remember to stop being gay……

  13. Oh no. God forbid someone oppose bigotry, because you know, disliking people who are homophobic or racist, etc. is horribly unfair. That’s like, new bigotry!

    Give me a fucking break. It’s not intolerant to oppose intolerance, and being queer, I know I appreciate the support. I may be a little biased, but I’m of the opinion that this is an important issue. Thanks for bringing it up.

  14. Is it that these people are simply jealous that others are having a better sex life and are more comfortable within themselves than they are? It seems that the people I’ve met that are the most anit-gay and conservitive are also terrified about their own body and mind.

  15. I agree with dean. I don’t think it’s intolerance when I have a problem with someone who wants to worsen my quality of life.

  16. Sigh. Glad to see that “TatBlog” is keeping up with tattoos. Just like a million other websites. BORING.

    ModBlog used to be about awesome body mods of ALL kinds, now it’s 90% tattoos. No offense, I have them myself, but so what? Tattoos are rarely that interesting, certainly nothing as interesting as a unique mod.

    Oh well, now I know why it is I only visit this site once or twice a week now when I used to check it out 4 or 5 times a day. I can get “awesome tats” anywhere.

  17. “It’s not intolerant to oppose intolerance.”

    Correct, but it IS intolerant to publicly scorn and try to destroy people because they don’t agree with YOU. In fact, that’s pretty much the definition of being intolerant.

    It’s amazing to me how often gatherings, groups etc. who claim to be based on “tolerance” are in fact based on being intolerant of people they don’t agree with. Just like the groups they’re protesting. Can you say “double standard?”

  18. I dont care WHO you fuck….just dont use it as a means to try to call me something less then YOU and YOUR “lifestyle choices”,which are at odds with the greater majority who DONT think like you,or beleive your accorded special priveledges,only because you fuck same sex.

  19. this guy should be forcibly butt-raped by large leather daddies armed with 2-liter soda bottles for several hours until he’s internally bleeding and has to be hospitalized.

    *notice my clever use of light-hearted satire

  20. And another deep philosophical insight from nature223 – keep ‘em coming: the more randomly defensive, off topic, and bigoted the better!

  21. I like jordans style of writing. I love modblog and indeed enjoy the pictures that are posted but I do look forward to reading Jordans articles.

    I also agree with Dean. It’s nice to see people fighting our corner for a change.

    I can’t help wondering if this vicar is married and if his use of health warnings would extend to decorating his wifes chin with said message.

  22. I’m so sick of the crap that surrounds being gay… It sucks that a male who loves another male gets treated like a lower being. It’s bad for lesbians as well, but it seems to me that men are being singled out even more. Seriously the only health risks are ones that people would take of their own volition. All you have to do is use a freaking condom and stay monogamous, the same as straight sex.

  23. Yay free speech on the net of all places, whatever next.

    I don’t agree with the straight lifestyle, it should be obligatory for them to have their genitals tattooed with the slogan “babies grow up and leave you” and their chins with “kissing’s gay”..

  24. “fellatio kills”?!
    I didn’t know blow jobs were exclusive to the /gay/ community…

  25. rosmarie can say wait she wants leave her alone.
    i dont realy like gays & dykes..just the idea of dere having sex,bit freaky..
    nice tat though! wats felatio??

  26. When I first heard about this I thought “Please let this guy just be trying to make a point about how ridiculous homophobia is”.

    Too much to hope for, I suppose.

  27. Rosemary I couldn’t agree more. The LGBT community’s militant preaching of homosexuality is totally the reason I got loaded on ecstasy and fooled around with my mate that night, and for that matter, what happened with that tranny, and why I… oh never mind, we could be here all day.

    If you read carefully this is Britain, not the US. The rest of the world doesn’t have a first amendment to use and abuse to try and institutionalize homophobia at a national level. In other civilized countries, what you’re calling “free speech” is more accurately known as “hate speech”, and we don’t put up with it.

    Yeah this guy’s just a petty bully writing in a shitty blog nobody reads, but sometimes these self righteous fools need to be publicly taken down a notch. And that goes tenfold for bigoted bullies who are in a position of purported moral leadership. What an insult to British humour to claim to be honouring its’ tradition; I bet this guy’s sermons are a real riot…

    You’ve been firing some heavy salvos at some pretty insignificant targets lately Jordan, but this was an appropriate and merited response, thank you.

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