BARRIE — A local Barrie, Ont., man was accosted today by American country-western singer Toby Keith, who was allegedly following through on his pledge to “put a boot in the ass” of anyone who “messed with the U.S. of A.”
“It was weird,” said the victim, who wished to remain anonymous. “I was with some friends at the bar, and we were giving the bartender a hard time because they ran out of Molson and he suggested MGD, right? And then this guy in a cowboy hat burst through the door and just started cold kickin’ folks in their rears. I definitely got it the worst, though.” After being provided with a photo array, the victim confirmed that the assailant was, in fact, Keith.
Eyewitnesses say that Keith was actually putting his boots on rather than in peoples’ asses, as evidenced above. It is not known whether Keith will return to continue his reign of terror.
(Tattoo by Andrew Batten at Lucky Devil Tattoos and Piercing in Barrie, Ontario, Canada.)