Full Coverage: Links From All Over (April 23, 2008)

[The Celebrity Cafe] Well well well, guess who’s too good for his tattoos all of a sudden? That chump over on the right, Mister Fancy Hip Hop Producer Pharrell, who you may remember from occasionally whistling and snapping his fingers in the background of Snoop Dogg songs. (OK, he did a fine job on that last Clipse album, too.) Anyway, Johnny Jackerson there used to have all kinds of tattoos, but that era has come to an end! Because he is an adult.

Although Pharrell would not give exact numbers, he did say that regardless of the price he plans to go ahead with the surgery.

“It’s going to be pricey, but worth it,” he says. “I got fire on my arms! I’m a grown man!”

Some vicious Internet rumors, however, have suggested that he is just going to fill his arms right back up with the devil’s ink, and this was just a means to start with a blank canvas. Although this was a laser procedure, that wasn’t always the plan! At first, Pharrell was looking into some experimental grafting process in which the tattoos wouldn’t actually be removed at all, but would have instead been covered with brand new skin, grown on some horrific eugenics flesh farm.

[He] is trying a revolutionary new tattoo removal procedure, which involves applying replicated skin over old body art.

“It’s basically like getting a skin graft, but you’re not taking skin from your ass or your legs. These guys actually grow the skin for you,” he explained to Vogue. “First you have to give them a sample of your skin, which they then replicate. Once that’s been done, they sew it on – and it’s seamless.”

On his blog, however, he wrote, “Laser treatment bitches! Extra crispy. See, no skin graft here, just pure laser pain. This is our own version of Mythbusters! Laser is the new primer.” See, Rob? Some people absolutely do Twitter from the emergency room.

[KMPH] And this just isn’t funny at all. Local Fresno, California, shitbag Enrique Gonzalez, a Bulldog gang member, held down his seven-year-old son while some other fool tattooed a paw print onto the kid’s stomach.

Police discovered the tattooed child on Monday, and soon after arrested the man responsible for the tattoo; 20-year-old Travis Gorman of Fresno. Gorman, a parolee, was arrested on Tuesday, and booked into the Fresno County Jail after he was positively identified by the child as the man who tattooed him. Tattoo paraphernalia was also discovered during his arrest.

Admittedly, everything I know about California gangs I learned from watching The Shield, but that show sure made it seem like gangs down there just willy-nilly tattoo people they consider their property. Whatever happened to just wearing distinctive colors? I miss the ’90s sometimes.

[Guardian] Finally, we’ve mentioned former Palin-child-beau Levi Johnston and his ring-finger tattoo commemorating his love for the former vice-presidential candidate’s daughter, Bristol, but the happy pair of teenagers have called it quits! Now Levi is doing a press tour, showing up anywhere that will have him, trying to squeeze some money out of the situation. Well, last night, he and his clan were on CNN’s Larry King Live, finally answering the question all of America was waiting for: Why’d you get that tattoo instead of wearing a ring, fella?

During a bizarre exchange, King asked to see the “Bristol” tattoo on Johnston’s finger. King asked Johnston why he got the tattoo: “You know, I was – I was hunting again and I lost the ring that she gave me. And it was bad so I figured … this way I wouldn’t lose it and it would get me out of a bind, you know,” Johnston said.

We all know the jury is perpetually out on whether it’s a good idea to get the name of a sexytime partner tattooed on you, but there are many compelling cases to be made for doing that sort of thing. This may not be one of them.


16 thoughts on “Full Coverage: Links From All Over (April 23, 2008)

  1. GROWN MEN DON’T HAVE FIRE ON THEIR ARRRRRMS!!! AHHHHHGGGGGGGAHAHAAAAAAHHHH!
    ::runs around screaming and flailing::

    Now that that’s out of my system, can someone please explain to me what, exactly, laser tattoo-removal has to do with Mythbusters?

  2. I don’t know what to make of Pharrell getting his tattoos removed.

    On one hand, I can’t really say anything against someone deciding to get rid of their tattoos as you could make the same arguments for getting tattoos removed as getting them in the first place. It’s his body and he can do what he likes.

    On the other hand, however, what a prat.

  3. Haha, now “he’s an adult.” And as we all know, adults don’t have tattoos. WTF? What happened to being responsible for your actions and the whole thing about tattoos lasting forever? I guess if you have the money, none of that matters though. Argh. Whatever.

  4. stupid he had some cool tattoos and the artist put al they got in it and he desides to remove them CAUSE HE’S A GROWN MAN NOW uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh !!!!

    so if i am 70 years old and i have tattoos i’m just a teenager ??, haha

  5. im older than he is, and i want fire on my arm! i bet hes doing it out of greed..thinking he might get more work, in movies, and what not if he doesnt have the tats..i hate most of these hollywood types anyways…they are too full of themselves…they make too much money for what little they do..they complain about working 18 hour days…i say welcome to the real world, but they have cushy trailers, gourmet food, and plenty of people running around doing everything for them, during that 18 hour work day…

    so hes an adult now, but he wasnt when he got them? does that mean he was under 18 when he got them?

  6. just goes to show hes just a kid with no creativeity just doing it to be part of the whole iam so kooolll niggguuuaaaa lol what a penis i hope his arms fall off

  7. He looks like a burn victim in that photo. The skin grafting sounds interesting, so why is it being wasted on some asshat who is ‘grown up’ enough to not have ink, instead of some poor kid who got burned in a house fire, or something like that? Must be nice to have money to throw around like that.

    As for the guy who tattoo’d his son…just another reason this kind of equipment should be less readily available.

  8. I’m from the Fresno area and the boy’s dad is still on the run. Hopefully they will have them soon… what a horrible thing to do to a child.

  9. Pingback: Laser Tattoo Removal Update « Psycho Clown Tattoo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>