“My first, his second”

I sure like these suspension portraits that Chris Asadian took of this suspension of Josh and MissPiss, assisted by J.C. from Pangea Piercing in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She writes,

The first time you suspend is like the first time you have sex; nervous beforehand, feelings of excitement and yet complete vulnerability, indecisions, and of course…pain. I’ve built up suspension in my head for so long. I’ve read a million different experiences and articles and I could barely watch a video of someone suspending without aching with jealousy. So it would obviously come to pass that I would be super excited about finally getting my chance to suspend. I saw the look on my boyfriend Josh’s face when he got down from the hooks for the first time so long ago. I saw the satisfaction in someone’s eyes when they were finally able to get off the ground in their two-point chest suspension. I wanted that. I wanted a million different things out of my suspension and I wasn’t even sure what I was in for yet. I’ve done a flesh pull once before and had an amazing time. People, places, attitudes… It just fit and I had an absolute blast. Suspensions can’t be that much harder, can they?

The familiar feeling of the needles piercing my back sent me into my first tizzy. Four hooks were finally in and it was time for a breather. I was already shaking. A little bit of energy drink to bump up my sugar a bit and it was time to lace me up to the rig. Getting off of my feet was incredibly difficult. Not just the way it screws with your head with the concept of everything, but the pain was extreme. I held tightly to Josh with my legs around him as he urged me forward and upward. I closed my eyes and tried to relax per his requests. Everything started to tingle… I wondered… was this the endorphin rush? And then it hit me; I knew that feeling. I was passing out. I forced my eyes open because I knew that nothing good could come out of passing out under these kind of extreme circumstances.

“Don’t let go… don’t let go…”

I kept saying that, panicked, looking at Josh who was standing in front me and holding my hands. I was lifted higher… higher… I started getting dizzy… and then…

“You have to let go… you have to do this alone.”

A deep breath and… I was off. My feet dangled a foot above the ground. My arms were completely immobilized, shoulders up to my ears practically with the weight of my form on the hooks. I had done it. I was suspending! J.C. and Josh were spouting things at me about how great I was doing and cheering me on but I could barely focus. And then… sweat… dizzy… intense pain. I felt like I was going to pass out another time and I tried to push it away and out of my head. Then the nausea hit, and it hit hard. It was at that point that I knew I was done.

My body had been through enough and mind-over-matter just wasn’t cutting it anymore. I whimpered for them to quickly bring me down and that I was feeling ill. Getting down from there was a terrible feeling, honestly. I hadn’t done everything I came to do. I suspended… but… I just expected more out of myself. With my overwhelmingly good response from the flesh pull, I figured that this wouldn’t be too much different. Boy was I wrong. I immediately burst into tears. They weren’t just tears of disappointment.. they were tears of pure emotion and raw… “raw me”, I guess.

This entry was posted in ModBlog and tagged , , by Shannon Larratt. Bookmark the permalink.

About Shannon Larratt

Shannon Larratt is the founder of BME (1994) and its former editor and publisher. After a four year hiatus between 2008 and 2012, Shannon is back adding his commentary to ModBlog. It should be noted that any comments in these entries are the opinion of Shannon Larratt and may or may not be shared by BMEzine.com LLC or the other staff or members of BME. Entry text Copyright © Shannon Larratt. Reproduced under license by BMEzine.com LLC. Pictures may be copyright to their respective owners. You can also find Shannon at Zentastic or on Facebook.

57 thoughts on ““My first, his second”

  1. Beautiful photography, beautiful couple.
    I wish my partner was into suspension; it seems like such an intimate experiment to do with a loved one.

  2. i had a similar panic attack and was crying a lot.. i think i was up for all of ten seconds. kudos.

  3. wow- I am really moved by the story here.
    I have never done a suspension and I love how open and honest she is about her experience- very raw!
    and beautiful shots!

  4. Wow, what a good looking couple! The third is my favourite, it was obviously such a tender moment.

  5. 2nd photo, top row….WOW. Not often a photo “gets” me, but that image just sucks me right into the moment.

  6. beautifully written and the photos are equally remarkable. thank you so much for sharing!

  7. this was such a nice account..as someone who has never suspended and has never considered it, it really lets me see through the eyes of people who suspend in a way that pictures and videos haven’t been able to.

  8. i really liked this as i am very interested in doin a suspension when i turn 18 and i think this make it soo much real hearing a story like this it was beatiful

  9. I’ve gotta say, hats off to Chris the photographer in this one. Apparently his work is WELL appreciated because Shannon didn’t even -watermark- the photo. Just tossed a frame on it.

    This was definitely an epic and intimate moment for Miss Piss and I…. one we’ll never forget

  10. the second photo of her crying is beyond beautiful. i love it. like, i really really love it.

  11. Michigan is taking over mod blog!! Wonderful photographs. I would like to suspend someday as well but I worry that the same thing would happen to me.

  12. Thank you everyone for your amazing response! I’m so excited that this made Modblog!! Chris is an absolutely amazing photographer and good friend of mine. I was extraordinarily lucky to have him present at the hanging. ;)

  13. i’m sure you know this, but I find that my the last time I’ve eaten determines whether or not I feel faint or nauseous during a piercing/pulling. If you shock your body and your blood sugar is low, you’re probably not going to have a good time. Just a thought.

    For all I know, you might have eaten a three course meal hours before this. :) cheers, anyway. Beautiful shots and story.

  14. @ katrina:

    I don’t think I honestly ate TOO well. Can’t remember. Did eat, though. I think I was afraid of stuffing myself too much. Also, I was nervous and it killed my appetite, which made things hard. There are a lot of things that I will do differently next time for sure. :nod: Live and learn.

  15. “Miss Piss” first i would like to say you are an amazing writer. your story was very attention grabbing no wonder your lyrics are so good! Chris does take amazing pictures and is a pretty suave mofo. and josh nice metal face while hanging! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

  16. I am absolutely in love with the photo of the tears being wiped away. I also love that this story was shared. I think a lot of the time people think they will always have a perfect first suspension because thats all they see and hear about, and I know a big fear of mine is that I’ll “fail” at my first suspension. But at the same time, I think its important to know that not everyones “first time” is going to be perfect, just like someones first sexual experience. But that doesnt mean you cant try again, and it doesnt make you a failure. Thats why I like this so much. It just shows that sometimes it takes more than once to get what you really want out of a suspension.

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  18. Wow, pictures 2 and 3 are amazing, they capture the emotion amazingly.

    Lovely real story.

  19. @ Sarah and Nani

    Smoking is not relative to these pictures except perhaps to show the nervousness or whatever. It’s just something that I happen to do. I understand if you don’t like it, Nani. Tons of people don’t. I’ll quit one of these days..

  20. I remember talking to you two about this at a party…. It does seem much like a spiritual experience. Josh / Miss Piss, I can see the trust you too share. See you at work :)

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