Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Ill-Advised Video Edition)


[Adam Riff] The captains of industry over at Adam Riff have been running weekly clips from a Jackass-style video made by Respect Authority, many of which are positively cringe-worthy. This week’s installment features the young gentleman on the receiving end of the most unsanitary and most improperly placed nipple piercing in the history of both nipples and piercing. If you’re the sort of person who’s offended by piercings being performed without gloves, some manner of sanitizer, or any adherence to anatomy whatsoever, you should probably shoot yourself in the eyeballs before watching this.

I think I just puked my pants.

[Big League Stew] ‘Duk over at Yahoo! Sports’s Big League Stew passes along a video from Mouthpiece Sports featuring the world’s last remaining Barry Bonds fan. Bonds, of course, was found guilty by an international tribunal of mass-producing all the world’s steroids in a sweatshop inside his skull and running around cold stickin’ baseball players with syringes full of dinosaur semen and such. After his conviction, he was sentenced to fight Jose Canseco to the death inside the Thunderdome, but was granted clemency, and now lives on a remote steroid farm in the Canadian north with Mark McGwire and their seven children. Anyway, this is one of the kids, showing off his Barry Bonds jersey tattoo:

[Right Celebrity] Sweet holy dogshit this is the most awkward thing I’ve seen all day. World-famous playboy and the only man who can pull off the three-day mustache, Brad Pitt, was on Oprah the other day fielding questions from every maniac with a microphone, apparently. At one point, some fan-girl from the Oprah head office hijacked a video feed and began pestering Pitt about his tattoos, which, he, as someone resembling a normal person, didn’t want to discuss on account of them being private. The conversation went something like this:

Insane Woman: HEY BRAD BIG FAN HUGE FAN HEY POP OFF THAT SHIRT AND LET’S SEE SOME TATSSSS

Brad Pitt: Ha ha, good one, but I’d rather not. It’s a fun connection to have with your partner, but it’s private.

Insane Woman: NO REALLY I HEARD YOU GOT A SICK ICEMAN TAT ON YOUR ARM! HAHAHA WHAT DOES ICEMAN MEAN, DOES IT MEAN YOU WANNA DO SOME CRAZY SEXING WITH ME, HAHA GODDAMN BOOYAH

Brad Pitt: Please stop asking me about my tattoos, they’re personal.

Insane Woman: C’MONNN RIP OPEN THAT SWEATER AND LET’S FREAK RIGHT ON THE TOM CRUISE COUCH, I SEEN PIXXX OF SOME INK ON YOUR TUM-TUM, YOU GONNA SWEAT IT OFFFFFF OH SHIT

Brad Pitt: I am leaving the planet of earth.

64 thoughts on “Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Ill-Advised Video Edition)

  1. That woman in the last video infuriates me.
    He’s obviously uncomfortable and he made it clear he didn’t want to talk about them. But she just kept on pestering! Who does she think she is? “You can tell them about that one!”
    Ugh. What a bitch.
    🙂

  2. That woman in the last video infuriates me.
    He’s obviously uncomfortable and he made it clear he didn’t want to talk about them. But she just kept on pestering! Who does she think she is? “You can tell them about that one!”
    Ugh. What a bitch.
    🙂

  3. To be fair, Brad Pitt is a bit of a douchbag.
    Make a lot of money, marry someone hot, be famous AND don’t talk about all your personal stuff… No one should have THAT much luck in one life time. Come on, Man.
    *wink*

  4. To be fair, Brad Pitt is a bit of a douchbag.
    Make a lot of money, marry someone hot, be famous AND don’t talk about all your personal stuff… No one should have THAT much luck in one life time. Come on, Man.
    *wink*

  5. Oh my god, I had trouble watching the nipple piercing video. Jesus christ, that boy’s poor fucking nipple. Those guys should not be allowed to hang out together, seriously, what retards. I mean even if you know absolutely nothing about piercings, you should have enough common sense to know that this is clearly a bad and possibly terribly unhealthy idea.

    First let me just say, that Brad can’t rock the stache. Second, I can understand not wanting to be interrogated about your tattoos. But, I don’t understand why he seems so ashamed and shy about his tattoos, he doesn’t even want it to be mentioned that he has ones. I mean, if you get a tattoo on your arm, I don’t see why you’d be so weird about it having been seen.

  6. Oh my god, I had trouble watching the nipple piercing video. Jesus christ, that boy’s poor fucking nipple. Those guys should not be allowed to hang out together, seriously, what retards. I mean even if you know absolutely nothing about piercings, you should have enough common sense to know that this is clearly a bad and possibly terribly unhealthy idea.

    First let me just say, that Brad can’t rock the stache. Second, I can understand not wanting to be interrogated about your tattoos. But, I don’t understand why he seems so ashamed and shy about his tattoos, he doesn’t even want it to be mentioned that he has ones. I mean, if you get a tattoo on your arm, I don’t see why you’d be so weird about it having been seen.

  7. i understand brad not wanting to talk about them… just cause it’s visible doesn’t mean he wants the world to know about it, or share its explanation.. maybe he just felt like it belonged on that part of his body and didn’t want to compromise that with the fact that the public may see it. i think he has every right do not wish to discuss a tattoo, visible or not.

    and i dunno, maybe i am just getting a thing for them, but i cannot get enough of a good looking man with a mustache. i fear it’s getting worse…

  8. i understand brad not wanting to talk about them… just cause it’s visible doesn’t mean he wants the world to know about it, or share its explanation.. maybe he just felt like it belonged on that part of his body and didn’t want to compromise that with the fact that the public may see it. i think he has every right do not wish to discuss a tattoo, visible or not.

    and i dunno, maybe i am just getting a thing for them, but i cannot get enough of a good looking man with a mustache. i fear it’s getting worse…

  9. I was in that movie, actually. Not that clip, but in a few other stunts done. The premise of the movie was: “Do really dumb, dangerous shit.” They both knew (and still know) what could’ve gone wrong in this case. For the record, the “poor boy” now has two successfully healed nipple rings at 10 gauge which are about 6 years old 🙂 Nobody was permanently damaged in the film, I swear!

  10. I was in that movie, actually. Not that clip, but in a few other stunts done. The premise of the movie was: “Do really dumb, dangerous shit.” They both knew (and still know) what could’ve gone wrong in this case. For the record, the “poor boy” now has two successfully healed nipple rings at 10 gauge which are about 6 years old 🙂 Nobody was permanently damaged in the film, I swear!

  11. To #5: I can’t imagine the young, stupid viewers of that film who’ve been inspired to try something equally as “really dumb” and “dangerous.”

  12. To #5: I can’t imagine the young, stupid viewers of that film who’ve been inspired to try something equally as “really dumb” and “dangerous.”

  13. I definitely preferred the text interpretation of the Pitt video to cringing through the whole thing. I pretty much wanted to slap everyone in it, including Brad (if only because of that heinous stubbletache).

  14. I definitely preferred the text interpretation of the Pitt video to cringing through the whole thing. I pretty much wanted to slap everyone in it, including Brad (if only because of that heinous stubbletache).

  15. uhhh how crap does brad pitt look with that tache? so so so wrong… and i agree with #2, if you are going to choose being in the spotlight as your career, you have to be expected to talk about shit like tattoos. agreed that if you get one on your forearm people are going to ask about it.

    he is a fucken douche. what a dick.

  16. uhhh how crap does brad pitt look with that tache? so so so wrong… and i agree with #2, if you are going to choose being in the spotlight as your career, you have to be expected to talk about shit like tattoos. agreed that if you get one on your forearm people are going to ask about it.

    he is a fucken douche. what a dick.

  17. Pitt looks a wee bit like a pedophile with that ‘stache.
    But anyhow. Yes, the questions were inappropriately personal and annoying, but I must say that the author’s owncommentary is hardly appropriate. Since when do we take to deriding others in such an immature manner? The commentary is childish and overly mocking, in my opinion.
    Maybe if there was a well-composed retaliation against the video (which seems to have been over-hyped in this article, even though the woman seems disrespectful) then it would deserve a place in Modblog. But really, what’s it doing here?

  18. Pitt looks a wee bit like a pedophile with that ‘stache.
    But anyhow. Yes, the questions were inappropriately personal and annoying, but I must say that the author’s owncommentary is hardly appropriate. Since when do we take to deriding others in such an immature manner? The commentary is childish and overly mocking, in my opinion.
    Maybe if there was a well-composed retaliation against the video (which seems to have been over-hyped in this article, even though the woman seems disrespectful) then it would deserve a place in Modblog. But really, what’s it doing here?

  19. One final note, after reading through the comments:
    Yes, he’s famous, but why should his career in film require him to divulge personal details?
    If you were an actor, would you feel it’s fair to give details about an STD or other infection you just acquired? Maybe it’s also fair to ask about your sex life, any psychiatric disorders you might have, or perhaps bathroom habits.

    He’s on the big screen. That doesn’t mean he has to put a magnifying glass over his personal life for our ravenous amusement.

  20. One final note, after reading through the comments:
    Yes, he’s famous, but why should his career in film require him to divulge personal details?
    If you were an actor, would you feel it’s fair to give details about an STD or other infection you just acquired? Maybe it’s also fair to ask about your sex life, any psychiatric disorders you might have, or perhaps bathroom habits.

    He’s on the big screen. That doesn’t mean he has to put a magnifying glass over his personal life for our ravenous amusement.

  21. Oh my god, what a fricken writeup over a really nice interview with Brad….Talk about beatin the bush ;p

    Brad wasnt scared, sure a little uncomfortable but in no way did that girl ever go too far as you made it out to be like.

    She is simply a huge fan who would like to know a tale about her hero, she wasnt lewd about it and maintained a sense of style/offbeat humor that is consistant with daytime tv shows like Oprah.

    Get of the poor girls back!

  22. Oh my god, what a fricken writeup over a really nice interview with Brad….Talk about beatin the bush ;p

    Brad wasnt scared, sure a little uncomfortable but in no way did that girl ever go too far as you made it out to be like.

    She is simply a huge fan who would like to know a tale about her hero, she wasnt lewd about it and maintained a sense of style/offbeat humor that is consistant with daytime tv shows like Oprah.

    Get of the poor girls back!

  23. I like how most of the comments have been directed towards the Pitt video that really, IMHO, is far less worrisome than a video about a gnar-piercing or a Barry Bonds tattoo. It’s cool, I get sucked into tabloids at the grocery check out too.

  24. I like how most of the comments have been directed towards the Pitt video that really, IMHO, is far less worrisome than a video about a gnar-piercing or a Barry Bonds tattoo. It’s cool, I get sucked into tabloids at the grocery check out too.

  25. the nipple piercing video was dope i thought. i could totally see a group of drunk douchebags doing some shit like that. i guess im jealous since i couldnt be apart of the hurting of drunk douchebags in that manor…lol

  26. the nipple piercing video was dope i thought. i could totally see a group of drunk douchebags doing some shit like that. i guess im jealous since i couldnt be apart of the hurting of drunk douchebags in that manor…lol

  27. I don’t see how being a major celebrity obliges someone to divulge every bit of their personal life. Sure, they’re expected to, because we’re so used to having the media thrusting these into our faces (TYRA HAS CELLULITE! LINDSAY GOT A DUI!)… but that expectancy should never be equated to a requirement.

  28. I don’t see how being a major celebrity obliges someone to divulge every bit of their personal life. Sure, they’re expected to, because we’re so used to having the media thrusting these into our faces (TYRA HAS CELLULITE! LINDSAY GOT A DUI!)… but that expectancy should never be equated to a requirement.

  29. I don’t expect Brad to share all the reasons for his tattoos, but what’s with the stance that this lady shouldn’t know they exist? Like Oprah’s “Maybe you knew him in another life…” comment. You got a tattoo on “public” skin, expect people to know it’s there and know what it is.
    The comment about the tattoo on his “tummy” was a little more personal, I think.

    As far as the DIY nipple thing: big deal, so what. Stupid kid stuff, he’s not gonna die or anything, and I’ve seen more painful, bloodier things in modblogs past.
    Ill-advised tattoo? Big deal. So what. I’ve seen worst. My eyes go wide with horror at the worst I’ve seen.
    Therefore: only thing of interest is fidgety Mr. Pitt.

  30. I don’t expect Brad to share all the reasons for his tattoos, but what’s with the stance that this lady shouldn’t know they exist? Like Oprah’s “Maybe you knew him in another life…” comment. You got a tattoo on “public” skin, expect people to know it’s there and know what it is.
    The comment about the tattoo on his “tummy” was a little more personal, I think.

    As far as the DIY nipple thing: big deal, so what. Stupid kid stuff, he’s not gonna die or anything, and I’ve seen more painful, bloodier things in modblogs past.
    Ill-advised tattoo? Big deal. So what. I’ve seen worst. My eyes go wide with horror at the worst I’ve seen.
    Therefore: only thing of interest is fidgety Mr. Pitt.

  31. The nipple one…. all I can say is reminds me of high school.

    as for Brad Pitt…. honestly if they really wanted to see the tattoos all they have to do is google them for fuck sake

  32. The nipple one…. all I can say is reminds me of high school.

    as for Brad Pitt…. honestly if they really wanted to see the tattoos all they have to do is google them for fuck sake

  33. I have one visible tattoo on my arm, and people are always asking “is that real?” or “what’s the meaning?”, it gets kind of annoying to have to explain that there was no special significance behind my tattoo before I got it. Now it is part of me and I love it.
    I feel like ever since LA Ink and Miami Ink etc every tattoo needs to have a real special meaning before you get it, like you have to have cancer or it has to be a memorial tattoo. For people that don’t have them they just don’t get it most of the time, and their only exposure to it is those TV shows. So I can understand Brad Pitt not wanting to talk about his tattoos on national TV and then have it written up about on some online gossip journal.

  34. I have one visible tattoo on my arm, and people are always asking “is that real?” or “what’s the meaning?”, it gets kind of annoying to have to explain that there was no special significance behind my tattoo before I got it. Now it is part of me and I love it.
    I feel like ever since LA Ink and Miami Ink etc every tattoo needs to have a real special meaning before you get it, like you have to have cancer or it has to be a memorial tattoo. For people that don’t have them they just don’t get it most of the time, and their only exposure to it is those TV shows. So I can understand Brad Pitt not wanting to talk about his tattoos on national TV and then have it written up about on some online gossip journal.

  35. The most unfortunate thing about the first video is that the world often believes that these morons represent the pierced community.

    And all those who are thinking “That’s so unsanitary/I’m so superior/What awful placement etc.” you need only read a few of the stories or the questions section to realise that most people are really that stupid, and want to do things themselves regardless of whether or not they’re qualified. The mod community is full of stupid people, just different to frat-boy stupidity. Stupid people come from all walks of life, some types are just more publicly vocal about their stupidity!

  36. The most unfortunate thing about the first video is that the world often believes that these morons represent the pierced community.

    And all those who are thinking “That’s so unsanitary/I’m so superior/What awful placement etc.” you need only read a few of the stories or the questions section to realise that most people are really that stupid, and want to do things themselves regardless of whether or not they’re qualified. The mod community is full of stupid people, just different to frat-boy stupidity. Stupid people come from all walks of life, some types are just more publicly vocal about their stupidity!

  37. I ain’t a Brad Pitt fan but I don’t think that just because you have a tattoo means you need to show everyone, nor have people undress you/move your clothing to see it. Not everyone who gets a tattoo wants to be an attention whore.

  38. I ain’t a Brad Pitt fan but I don’t think that just because you have a tattoo means you need to show everyone, nor have people undress you/move your clothing to see it. Not everyone who gets a tattoo wants to be an attention whore.

  39. ^What I mean is that if it’s showing it’s showing, if it’s not, doesn’t mean you should have to just because its on your arm or wrist or leg or whatever.

  40. ^What I mean is that if it’s showing it’s showing, if it’s not, doesn’t mean you should have to just because its on your arm or wrist or leg or whatever.

  41. Vid 1- It’s fun watching drunk or stupid people fail at attempts of home piercing. After seeing that video, I thanked god that I had the sense to get all mine done by a professional.
    Vid 2- Not the kind of tattoo I would get, but if it makes him happy, cool.
    Vid 3- The write up was hilarious, and the vid was uncomfortable. Serves Brad right for wearing that ‘stache in public.

  42. Vid 1- It’s fun watching drunk or stupid people fail at attempts of home piercing. After seeing that video, I thanked god that I had the sense to get all mine done by a professional.
    Vid 2- Not the kind of tattoo I would get, but if it makes him happy, cool.
    Vid 3- The write up was hilarious, and the vid was uncomfortable. Serves Brad right for wearing that ‘stache in public.

  43. @ 24

    i agree in a lot of ways. i have a tattoo on my foot with my younger sisters name on it, and people always ask me “what happened?” and i get confused. because they expect that if i have her name tattooed on me that she must have died from some horrible disease/accident/whatever. it’s irritating but i’ll deal.

    that nipple piercing video was terrrrrrrrrible. “i want you to punch me in the head in order to divert the pain”, oh yeah, brilliant idea!

    i think Brad has a right to discuss what he wants to about his tattoos. they ARE his afterall, not everyone else’s, so what does it matter if he doesn’t want to talk about it? he didn’t get the tattoos for the public, so i’m sure everyone can deal with not knowing the meaning of Brad’s tattoos.

  44. @ 24

    i agree in a lot of ways. i have a tattoo on my foot with my younger sisters name on it, and people always ask me “what happened?” and i get confused. because they expect that if i have her name tattooed on me that she must have died from some horrible disease/accident/whatever. it’s irritating but i’ll deal.

    that nipple piercing video was terrrrrrrrrible. “i want you to punch me in the head in order to divert the pain”, oh yeah, brilliant idea!

    i think Brad has a right to discuss what he wants to about his tattoos. they ARE his afterall, not everyone else’s, so what does it matter if he doesn’t want to talk about it? he didn’t get the tattoos for the public, so i’m sure everyone can deal with not knowing the meaning of Brad’s tattoos.

  45. The first one reminds me of a home video done of a woman having her outer labia pierced. No cleaning,no clamps, no gloves. Gave me the heebie-jebies. I doubt I’d ever trust anyone besides a pro to come near me with a needle

  46. The first one reminds me of a home video done of a woman having her outer labia pierced. No cleaning,no clamps, no gloves. Gave me the heebie-jebies. I doubt I’d ever trust anyone besides a pro to come near me with a needle

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