Wolfie’s Just Fine

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I apologize in advance for posting such graphic and disturbing content this early in the morning, but this is an issue — a threat — that, if allowed to continue unabated, could have consequences most dire. (Remember that time the dolphins grew thumbs and then used them to plant poisonous snakes in bunches of delicious bananas, all over the world, just because they could, just to screw with us? It’ll be like that, yet somehow worse.) Untold thousands of miniature humans like the one pictured above are literally appearing every day, latching onto defenseless adults for sustenance and warmth and resources and such. What’s their agenda? Why won’t they speak? And why do these adults play along so willingly — is it a spell, or simply blackmail? I feel I’ve said too much as it is.

… Or it could be that this baby is twigboy‘s son, and that, in his words:

This was the first day my son Scott figured out he could grab onto my ear and use it as a handle. Now he just grabs my ear and falls backwards — seems he knows that as long as he holds on, he won’t fall.

I’ll admit, that is slightly cuter than the demon-baby apocalypse scenario.

See more in “Ear Stretching (past 1/2″)“ (Ear Piercing)

62 thoughts on “Wolfie’s Just Fine”

  7. lol @ amputation tag.

    I always love floral neck pieces, if I wasn’t training to work in a profession where it wouldn’t be accepted at all I would be out getting one right now.

  8. lol @ amputation tag.

    I always love floral neck pieces, if I wasn’t training to work in a profession where it wouldn’t be accepted at all I would be out getting one right now.

  17. This picture freaks me out, just because I fear for his lobe. The skin is stretchy… but not THAT stretchy.

    Cute kid though.

  18. This picture freaks me out, just because I fear for his lobe. The skin is stretchy… but not THAT stretchy.

    Cute kid though.

  19. I actively discourage my (six month old) daughter from grabbing my lobes or jewellery – not because it hurts me, it doesn’t, but I worry about her then thinking it’s ok to swing off of other people’s earlobes and possibly hurting them! It just seems better to avoid letting her get into the habit…

  20. I actively discourage my (six month old) daughter from grabbing my lobes or jewellery – not because it hurts me, it doesn’t, but I worry about her then thinking it’s ok to swing off of other people’s earlobes and possibly hurting them! It just seems better to avoid letting her get into the habit…

  29. oh…my nephew does to same to my lobes, they are smaller but he sticks his fingers in them, and he’s always pulling my piercings :x…but i can’t tell him he can’t..he looks so cute when he does it x|

  30. oh…my nephew does to same to my lobes, they are smaller but he sticks his fingers in them, and he’s always pulling my piercings :x…but i can’t tell him he can’t..he looks so cute when he does it x|

  49. one of my actual reasons for not stretching my ears much bigger than 9/16ths is because when I have a child I do not want them to rip my ear off. I mean, isn’t it something like 2 pounds of pressure can break skin? ouch.

  50. one of my actual reasons for not stretching my ears much bigger than 9/16ths is because when I have a child I do not want them to rip my ear off. I mean, isn’t it something like 2 pounds of pressure can break skin? ouch.

  53. i LOVE the boondock saints tattoo! fucking hardcore man!

    this should be titled “baby suspension”

  54. i LOVE the boondock saints tattoo! fucking hardcore man!

    this should be titled “baby suspension”

  55. the first thing I noticed was the “Veritas” tattoo.
    as much as I love boondock saints, I wouldn’t get that because they rocked it as hard as it’s gonna get rocked.

  56. the first thing I noticed was the “Veritas” tattoo.
    as much as I love boondock saints, I wouldn’t get that because they rocked it as hard as it’s gonna get rocked.

  57. wow. that looks painful.

    its so cute though cuz babies just try to grab onto everything! if he had a stainless steel tunnel in or something i REALLY wouldnt be surprised…they seem to love shiny things. haha.

  58. wow. that looks painful.

    its so cute though cuz babies just try to grab onto everything! if he had a stainless steel tunnel in or something i REALLY wouldnt be surprised…they seem to love shiny things. haha.

  59. What an adorable little boy… that’s such a sweet picture, and it’s true… babies will grab everything they can hold!

  60. What an adorable little boy… that’s such a sweet picture, and it’s true… babies will grab everything they can hold!

  61. I’m sorry, But Jordan, You are REALLY not funny.
    Just stop.
    For all of our sakes.
    Now kindly go sit in the corner and self-fornicate with something large and sandpapery.

  62. I’m sorry, But Jordan, You are REALLY not funny.
    Just stop.
    For all of our sakes.
    Now kindly go sit in the corner and self-fornicate with something large and sandpapery.

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