Fishmaul / Fishmouth / ZygZag Cheek Stretching

This was originally posted on BodyTwo, but I was asked about it again this morning, and I thought it related well to the lip disc posts.

One of the most asked-about members of the modification community is “Fishmaul” (“Fishmouth”) or “Zygzag”, who is said to wear massive plugs in stretched cheek piercings. Here’s the photo set that most people have seen reposted over and over:

fishmaul-zygzag-cheek-stretching-1.jpg

Some people claimed he was part of the German street punk scene in Aachen, others claimed he was Russian, and others claimed it was simply a fake Photoshopped picture. As it turns out he’s Polish, and quite real. A reader wrote me about him,

Hi Shannon. That “Fishmouth” is from Poland and everyone calls him “ZygZag”. For now he lives in Germany in a punk squat or something. I don’t know him but he’s a Polish BodyMod legend. For now he doesn’t wear his plugs. I’ve got different photos of him without plugs.

Here are the photos that came with that email:

fishmaul-zygzag-cheek-stretching-2.jpg

He was drinking a beer at the time, so clearly he’d figured out how to live with giant holes in his cheeks…

Not long afterwards I received this photo of ZygZag with his plugs in at an event, wearing his cheek plates and other piercings:

fishmaul-zygzag-cheek-stretching-3.jpg

As I wrote at the time, I can’t begin to express the admiration that I have for ZygZag’s dedication to developing this look… He’s got to be the only person on the planet, maybe the first in history, to push cheek stretching like this, and the degree he’s done it to is staggering. It’s really amazing to me, and the first time in a long time that I’ve seen something that’s genuinely new.

Unfortunately not much information on ZygZag is out there, as another Polish reader explains,

In January I discussed with my friends the subject of cheek stretching. Someone said that Zygzag is the only person in Poland with stretched cheek piercings so we started to look for his pics. After a few months of searching some guy contacted us and said that he knew Zygzag, and we wouldn’t find anything because he never wanted to have his pictures published. We also came to know that he removed the plugs because his eyes were constantly irritated and he couldn’t speak properly cause of the facial deformation. He had his skin transplanted few times to make the holes smaller. I don’t know how much of this is true, but it’s some additional info about the guy anyway.

So there you go… It won’t surprise me if he ends up being the only person to do this, ever. If anyone knows more (or knows anyone else that’s done this), please do write me!

Evolution is Beautiful — BME/News [Publisher’s Ring]

Evolution is a Beautiful Thing

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.

– George Sheehan

 

G.C.

Like Toph who I also recently interviewed, G.C. (iam:G.C.) is one of a growing handful of people choosing to stretch their lip piercings out to dramatic sizes, defining an entirely new aesthetic code, unique in Western history. As well as other stretched piercings, he currently wears a 41.5mm plate in his lip, and took some time out to talk to us about his successul life — which you may be surprised to hear is full of fishing trips and a cadre of unpierced friends.

BME: How old are you and what do you do for a living?

G.C.: I’m 23 and I work in a foundry. I mix the alloys, and transfer and pour the molten iron — it’s not your everyday job but it more than pays the bills and allows me to live the life that I love. I just want to enjoy life to the fullest, with no regrets. My dad always told me to work to live, not to live to work — I think that’s sound advice.

I love to fish, which is when I do my best soul searching — if I catch a fish it’s a bonus. I just love being outside with nature, which leads me on to survival camping, playing Frisbee down the beach, and music is a big part of my life… I couldn’t live without that. It could be said that I like to party a lot, although I’m down to one night a week now… That’s a whole ’nother story. My friends and family are very important to me.

BME: Did you have this job when you started stretching, or did you get it with the piercing in place?

When I started the job, if I remember right, my lip was at 15mm. I suppose I did most of the stretching while I’ve been working there. My employer obviously thinks I look weird and was a bit of a risk to employ but gave me a chance and has since said that I have proved him wrong. Thankfully now they judge me on my work and have said I have a job for life if I want it. I think if I did have to find new work it will hinder me somewhat, but I’d hope from the reference I would get from my current employer it shouldn’t be too difficult to find more work. I have good experience in the industrial trade, plus multiple fork truck licenses.

BME: What got you interested in body modification in the first place?

Probably like most people, the old National Geographic magazines. When I was a kid my dad had a subscription, and since then I’ve always been more interested in tribal culture than just seeing modified people around town.

BME: What made you decide to start pushing your modifications past most people’s borders?

When I was twenty I got offered a well paid job as an engineer for Honda, but I would have had to move and take out all of my piercings. I didn’t want to, but it was such a good opportunity that I did it… I just felt like there was a part of me missing, like I was living a lie. I was incomplete. This might sound sad to some people, but although my mods don’t define me, they are a big part of who I am. I made the decision to stay true to myself, and that has included “going extreme”.

BME: How do most people respond?

My family doesn’t really like it, but they accept it, which is all I ask. Some of my friends think I’ve gone too far, but the outcome is the same — at the end of the day, when they look at me, all they see is Chris. You can tell this when they look you in the eye when they talking. I’ve gone out with mates from work, and someone will come up and ask a question, and afterwards my mate — who isn’t into piercings or tattoos at all — will say, “I forgot that you’ve got all that in your face… I see you every day and you’re just Chris to me.” When someone spends the time to get to know you they realize you ain’t weird at all — strangers can be abusive, but I take that in stride.

BME: What did they think about you in Africa?

A pretty good one really. I was on the west coast in southern Gambia where they don’t and never have, as far as I know, modified themselves, but most didn’t even bat an eyelid. Just instant acceptance — it was really refreshing.

BME: Does the radical stretching affect your dating life?

Not a lot. I still live in my hometown with a big alternative scene, but my last girlfriend didn’t even have a single piercing or tattoo… I’d like to think being a fun person and not being above making a fool out of yourself helps.

BME: How did you do your lip stretching?

It’s been a long time, so hopefully I remember everything right… I got my lip pierced by Sarge at 1.6mm (14 gauge) about six years ago. It healed in a couple months and then I just started to play around with it — just pulling on the labret, really… After four months I went up to 2.4mm, and had loads of room to spare so I went straight up to 3.4mm, then 4mm the next week which finally filled the gap. I think I stayed at this size for about four months — this was also the last size at which I wore jewelry made specifically for a lip until I reached 24mm (1”) some years later. I didn’t get on the Internet at all until I reached 2ga, so I didn’t even know that people made large gauge lip jewelry and just made do with what I could get.

I got a 5mm bullet retainer and just pushed it in — I didn’t use any tapers. It bitched a bit, with a little swelling, but after a week it was fine. I won’t lie though, it was an uncomfortable week. After another week it was looking good so I put in a 6mm tunnel that I blocked with wax and left it in for six months. Then I started stretching again, going up 1mm every two weeks until I was at 15mm. By this time I was using acrylic plugs and cutting a groove around one end for an o-ring to sit in so it didn’t come off all the time. I must have stayed at this size for over a year while I got used to it and before I went past the “point of no return” where I couldn’t downsize any more.

I obviously decided this was for me, and bought a 16mm plug and upsized 1mm every two weeks until I reached 21mm where I stayed, again, for over a year. This was mostly because I couldn’t find suitable jewelry as my lip was getting fatter and the plugs I was using did not have enough wearing surface on them. Then I discovered BME through friends who were already here and I met Karl (iam:MobyK), told him about my plight, and he said he could help and sent me three plates — 22mm, 24mm, and 26mm. I went straight to 24mm, with Diddy’s help who scalpelled it for me. That took a month to heal and I put the 26mm in with ease, and within six months I was at 32mm and left it there while I went to Africa.

When I got back from Africa I put in the 34mm, and then Karl sent me a 36mm, 39mm, and 41.5mm. I put the 36mm in for a month, and then taped it up to 39mm over about a week, which I kept for about eight months, and finally, taped up to the 41.5mm plate which I am wearing now!

G.C. fishing in Africa, and being explored by his snake.

BME: How do you normally wear the piercing?

I wear the plate every day with the lip permanently down. It’s where it is most natural — if I lift my lip up, it hits my nose and I cant close my mouth, hahaha!

BME: How did you stretch your other piercings?

My lobes I did over a period of about two years stretching 1mm at a time. I was very cautious as I snapped my left lobe previously by — to be honest — stretching too quickly. Diddy dermal punched my conches at 5mm where I’ve left them. He did the same with my flats at 8mm, but I’ve stretched the left to 13mm and the right to 17mm, I’ve since downsized to 16mm because I kept losing the plug. I did this stretch over two and a half years. My septum I stretched up 1mm every two to four weeks, up until about 5mm. I left it there for about a year, and then up to 6mm for six months, and then up to 7mm where it’s been for the last year and a half. My nostrils were punched at 8mm and then stretched to 9mm.

BME: Are the different piercings different to stretch?

I would say just different types of pain really, but you come to know them all as old friends… I’ve tried to apply the same stretching ethics to them all — “if it ain’t ready, don’t put it in there, and if it is, woo hoo!”

I would also like to say that after about 20mm or maybe sooner the lip becomes extremely stretchy — far more so than any other piercing, and you can stretch it very quickly if you want to.

BME: Tell me about how your wrecked your lobe?

I’ve had big time trouble with my lobes. I had quite small lobes to start with — non-lobes, really — so it was hard work from the start. It took me a long time to admit it to myself, but I stretched my left lobe too quickly, going from 25mm to 30mm in about a month. Unfortunately I was not blessed with the most stretchy of lobes and this was too much for me. I had a bad blow-out, and instead of removing the tunnel to heal I left it in the lobe, started to lose circulation, and before I knew it, it was too late, and it split. A rookie mistake, from a rookie at the time, but I quite like what I have done to it now and it taught me a valuable lesson: to listen to what my body is telling me! I have had no such problems since, and now I downsize at the first sign of danger.

BME: Any stretching issues with other piercings?

I only had minimal blowout with my lip — nothing more than a cat scratch with all the scarring on the inside of the hole. I had a bit of trouble with my septum. Stretching up to 7mm it kept tearing so I kept going back down to 6mm until it went in nice. It took about four goes but it’s a nice clean hole.

BME: How far will you continue the stretching?

I don’t really have an end goal size — I’ve moved those goal posts so many times. I once said that I was only gonna stretch my lip to 5mm. I don’t think I will know how far I’m gonna go until I get there. But saying that I have always said if one of my mods starts to become a hindrance then I would stop, but this has yet to happen — whether you believe it or not.

BME: Do you have plans for other modifications as well?

I have plans for more scarification in the near future, and have considered subdermal implants down the line and apart from a full tattoo suit, nothing more as yet — but never say never! Evolution is a beautiful thing.

BME: I hope you don’t mind this questions, but some people have suggested that there’s a line past which stretching is no longer visually appealing, and moves into freakish territory — what is your feeling on how aesthetics are interpreted at the borders of how humans express themselves?

I believe in the old saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

What one person calls freakish is another person’s normal. I think if you read into it more than that you’re just pushing your beliefs onto someone else. People have to live their own life to be truly happy.

BME: What defines your own personal aesthetic? Is this something you find attractive in others?

I don’t know if I could define my aesthetic. I think its just something that’s evolved with me.

Of course I think women with lip plates of all sizes are very attractive, but it’s not important to me. As I said, my last girlfriend had no piercings or tattoos, but I think that did put a strain on the relationship as she was not used to all the attention. Like Toph had said, it would be easier to date someone with mods because they would be more used to the reactions.

BME: Do you have a reversal plan if you change your mind? I know Toph said he’d just let them close up if he wanted, but you’ve had yours a lot longer and I doubt they’d close.

I don’t think my lip will ever stretch back enough to do a decent repair job on it, although maybe I could with some of the other piercings. However, I am 100% positive that would never happen. This is the path that I have chosen and am most happy with. I did not take this decision lightly. I thought about it long and hard before going too far to turn back. Although my mods don’t define me they are how I feel most comfortable in life and worth all the sacrifice.

G.C. drinking and eating.

BME: Do you have to do things differently with the big lip plate?

When I kiss I take the plate out — I can leave it out for half of the day and have it go straight back in no problems. I drink using my tongue as a bottom lip… and if I’m going down on a girl I turn my head sideways and stick the plate right up there (oh no he ditant!!!). I eat with a knife and fork just the same as everyone else… honestly, there really isn’t a lot of stuff I can’t do now that I could before and my speech is still perfect.

BME: As it’s getting more common, what advice would you have to people considering doing this?

I don’t know how qualified I am at giving advice, but listen to your body and take things at your own pace. If people have questions they can write me.

BME: Thanks for chatting about this!

Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings!


G.C. when I first met him,
before most of the stretching.


G.C.’s stretching begins.

Duff

In the time that I’ve known Duff (iam:Duff), she’s gone from a very traditionally and “mainstream” pretty Russian girl, to an absolutely striking woman that’s pushing the boundaries of aesthetics. Both her and her husband now wear lip discs — hers is at 32mm (approaching an inch and a half) — and, with the aid of translation software — my apologies for any errors that have crept in — we talked about her plate as she’s one of the few women in the Western world currently wearing one.

 

BME: How was your lip piercing made?

Duff: At the Moscow tattoo convention in August I decided to do this, and cut my lip up to 10mm and began stretching. I did the stretching gradually, in one or two millimeter increments, using tape to increase the size. Assisted by my husband (iam:pjevl), I stretched to 32mm over six months.

BME: Was it easy to stretch?

It was only difficult in the beginning. Once I passed 16mm, it went very easily.


Duff before the lip plate

BME: How far do you plan on stretching?

Oh, haha, I have already heard this question probably a million times! In all fairness, I don’t know. For now, it’s interesting and I like it and I don’t have any plans to stop. I keep stretching my lip, but it hasn’t torn yet!

BME: Do you have future body modification plans?

Yes, certainly! I want to continue stretching my lip and my nostrils, and I’d like to re-stretch my earlobes. I took the tunnels out because Moscow is very cold — it’s simply intolerable! Your ears freeze if you don’t wear a scarf and a hat.

I’d like to get more microdermals as well — I already have three in my breasts, but want more. I have many plans — but many are secrets! Definitely I want more tattoos. Ever since I was a child I’ve dreamt about being a mermaid, and I’ve been haunted by this dream until now. When a master tattoo artist that I’m waiting for arrives in Moscow we will begin on this project. Other than that, I also want to get a series of implants in my hands.

BME: What happens if you change your mind?

I am not going to change my outlook — never. I am very sure of it.

In Russia, a lot of people have pierced themselves, stretched very quickly, and are now taking those piercings out and sewing them up. For me it’s not so simple — for me this is my world, my culture, and my happiness. In the beginning, my family was against me doing this, but I’ve been modifying my body since I was very young. My parents never expected me to look like this — they thought up one life for me, but I ignored it and created my own life.

BME: What do you do for a living?

You may be surprised to find out that [I did this at] age sixteen! I study, but I don’t enjoy it. People are wild, and this is not a natural environment. In the spring or summer my husband and I are looking forward to moving to his hometown, far away from the noisy capital, where we plan to save up money so we can travel, which is a dream for both of us. We’d very much like to meet people from all over the planet.

BME: How did you become interested in body modification?

I have been interested in “updating myself” since early childhood. My parents lived in Africa for three years, and I, being a child, read all about this continent and learned everything I could. I saw many modified people, and it was so beautiful to me. My split tongue comes from my love of snakes — our neighbors had a pet snake, and I wanted to share something with it.

I remember when I was eleven years old I asked my mother whether I could pierce my eyebrow. After many arguments, I was allowed to go to a professional. I don’t consider piercings to be a political act — it’s simply pleasant to me, and I find it interesting that by piercing the body I can strongly change it and make it so much more beautiful.

BME: What made you go so extreme?

I do not think that it is so extreme! In addition to the images I saw as a child, my husband had a 32mm lip — I looked at it, and it was so beautiful and unusual that I wanted to have it as well.

BME: How do people in Russia respond to modifications like yours?

I think you’ll be very surprised — even though I live in Moscow, the capital, it feels like I like in a small village where the people are primitive and have never seen anything before. When I walk on the street I have to cover up, or everyone stares with such amazement that it becomes unpleasant. Many people shout at me, ask to take pictures, and treat me as a circus amusement.

BME: You’re one of the only women I know with a lip plate. Do you think it’s different for a woman to do this, moreso a man?

I don’t believe there is a difference. We are all flesh and blood. The main thing that’s important is that a person knows themselves, feels themselves on the inside, and understands whether these body modifications are right for them.

BME: So you find this beautiful, both in yourself and others?

Yes, certainly it is beautiful and attractive. Updating my body also changes my soul, making it brighter and more beautiful, and with every body modification I become happier and happier. I would love to meet more people, and I hope that when we begin to travel we’ll have the opportunity to meet people like Toph, Karl (iam:MobyK), Zack (iam:SoulOfACokeDealer), and many others. I only wish I knew English better!

BME: And I wish I spoke better Russian! Thank you for talking to me.


Duff with her 32mm disc


G.C. today, at 41.5mm


Shannon Larratt
BME.com

Toph: BME Publisher’s Ring Interview [BME/News]

 

 

Toph: Transformational Sacrifice
 

“Pioneers may be picturesque figures, but they are often rather lonely ones.”

Nancy Astor

 

When I was twenty in 1994, my 3/4″ earlobe piercing was shocking enough to the public that I was stopped regularly so people could take photos. Today, with a societal foundation laid where the public is “used” to seeing body modification, I doubt anyone would even notice — it takes something far more radical to turn heads. My friend Toph certainly falls into that category — with roughly an inch plug in each nostril and a nearly two inch lip plate, as well as a myriad of other modifations, he’s tormenting the programmers of facial recognition software by pushing the limits of a modern human face is.

I’ve split this interview with Toph into two sections, beginning with a discussion of his amazing modifications, and with the second section being about him and his life. As well as via the comment forum at the end of the article, you can contact Toph via his IAM page, toph.

– Shannon

Toph's Amazing Stretched Piercings
 

PART ONE

How did you do your lip stretching?

I got my center lip piercing done at a 16ga — I didn’t have a choice in the matter because the shop I went to only had that size, so when I went home I immediately put it to a 12ga. A few days later I put in an 8ga — my body stretches rather easily I think compared to most people. My steps were either every week or every other week until I got to 3/4″, which was done all with a taper up until that point. Once it got to 3/4″ it became loose every other day, and then I took my steps one millimeter at a time, every other day or so. By this time I was just “popping” them in without tapers or tape — I didn’t use tape until about 28mm.

How long did the lip stretching take in all?

My lip took a total of six months to go from 16g to 40mm (1 9/16″).

How do you usually wear your lip?

I wear it down 24/7, even when I eat, but drinking is always with a straw!

How about your tongue stretching?

My tongue was a different situation. I wanted to split my tongue, but I needed a good back brace, so at first I started my tongue off by scalpelling straight to 6mm, then stretching it up to 9mm the next day. I wore that for four days, and then scalpelled it to 16mm and stretched to 19mm the next day. By then I was ready for the split — I first cut it to 20mm, stretched it to 21mm, and used a scalpel and cut from the underneath up until the plug fell out and my tongue was split.

And your nostrils?

My nostrils were pierced when I was eighteen at a 10ga and immediately stretched to 8ga. I waited a good four months before going to 6ga, and then every month I went up to the next size until 16mm. Then about every week or so it was 1mm at a time until I took a long break at 22mm — about 5 months. I tapered them the whole way until 5/8″, then slide the next millimeters in by hand. I just recently started stretching them again.

Toph's Amazing Stretched Piercings
 

Finally, tell me about your ear stretching? What happened to your ears?

My ears have been a work in progress since I was sixteen, when they were done with a gun at the mall. I took it slow the most of the time, but I did stretch a few times faster than I should have. Unfortunately both my lobes were cut by a bad pair of eyelets at 19mm, and then thinned out pretty badly, so I had to take it really slow after that. Then last year I had plastic surgery on my left lobe due to a landscaping accident — I was weedwhacking a lawn at work and a rock got kicked up and split the 1 1/2″ lobe!

What are the differences in stretching the different types of piercing?

The differences I came across stretching the different types of piercing were that on the ears and lip weight worked really well, whereas the nostrils were all about time — if they didn’t have enough time they just wouldn’t stretch. My tongue was cut the whole time so it was a piece of cake, and I learned that if you really really want a 20mm tongue you can cut it there in a week without a hitch.

Did you have any problems in your stretching?

I did get some scar tissue on the front of my lip during my journey, which was cut off each time it happened and healed perfectly fine. I didn’t come across any problems with my nostrils, mostly because I was really careful. The have minor scar tissue but it went away with the pressure of o-rings in under a week. With my tongue I didn’t have one problem — besides blood and drool!

You managed to upsize all of them incredibly quickly — did you have a secret to doing this or does your body just tolerate stretching really well?

I think it’s a mixture of the two — on one hand my body handles stretching really well because I keep it on a basic schedule, and I think my body adjusted to it and went with it for the most part. My goal sizes are 28mm nostrils and a 63mm lip plate. My ears are as is and if they go bigger then good, but if not I’m still satisfied.

Toph's Amazing Stretched Piercings
Toph in the early stages of his modifications
 

Are all of your piercings publicly visible, or do you have private mods as well?

I have had a 00g PA, a 4ga scalped frenum, three ladders and two pubic surface piercings. I do my own genital mods and plan on starting my full subincision soon — I’ve already done the meatotomy.

Do you have plans for further modifications?

My future modifications will include more facial ink, full sleeves,scarification, and large conches. It’s a short list but over the years I’ve had a lot of different stuff done and I’m pretty satisfied with the way my image turned out.

Toph's Amazing Stretched Piercings
Other facial configurations that Toph has tried
 

And if you change your mind about all of it and want to go back, do you have a “Plan B”?

If it ever came to a reversal, I would downsize the same way I went up and hope for the best — but I’ve never once seriously thought about changing my image. I’ve been planning this out and making it a part of my life, and plan on keeping it for life.

How much do you think you’ve spent on jewelry so far — you must have gone through a lot?

Over the years I’ve spent about $8000 on jewelry. That was another addiction — I collected jewelry, never thinking I would actually wear it all in multiple piercing over the years. I collected anything from normal stainless steel to one of a kind $200 plugs. Once I met Karl (iam:MobyK), he offered to make me Delrin plugs if I ever needed them. At first I was like “no thanks”, but the more I got into it… like you said, I went through a lot of jewelry.

Karl became a mentor to me and a godfather — we have been very close friends for about three years now, and have never once met. I met Pauly Unstopable through Karl who showed me how big a nostril can go — he was my inspiration for that single piercing. Jesse (iam:pillpoppinfun, featured in BME’s first article on lip plates) was my original influence for the labret. He wore pins and plugs and it interested me. Throughout the years I’ve had a lot of positive influence through the industry, not to mention the movie ‘MODIFY’ which gave me the idea to scalpel my own frenum.

* * *
 

PART TWO

How old are you, what do you do for a living, and what “life plans” do you have?

I am twenty years old, and currently unemployed. I worked restaurants for five years and landscaping for two before I moved to Oklahoma. Now I’m back at the challenge of finding a new occupation. My life plans are to find someone to apprentice me so I can take what I love and make it into a living. This is my life and it’s what I think about day in and day out. I’m just hoping for the opportunity to get into the modification industry to fulfill my life goal.

Tell me a little about yourself in terms of interests?

I am a big fan of extreme sports — skateboarding, aggressive inline, four wheeling, motor cycles, and jet skis. I’m big into nature and photography and consider myself a decent artist.

Toph's Amazing Stretched Piercings
 

What’s your peer group like?

I don’t have a big group friends outside the Internet and I like to keep my life limited to family and close friends for the most part. When I go out in public I like to inform anyone who has questions about myself and what and why I do this, to my best ability, to try to help the public understand that we’re not freaks or assholes. I do this mostly to help the next generation of modders so people don’t get the wrong idea about us — this is very important to me.

How do people respond when they see you?

When I’m out in public people freak out… when they talk to me, it’s very funny. Once they see I’m willing to talk to them they just let go and ask me a million questions. People jump up and down, spin and laugh, saying “oh my god, that shit is crazy!” I’ve found that I get more attention from middle aged and older African Americans than I do from white teens and young adults… I don’t know why but I like it.

What got you interested in body modification originally?

I was around fifteen years old and I was a troubled kid, and I met a body piercer named Paul Kriner. He changed my life. I had already had a major interest in body modification, and so when I met him I tried to spend all my free time up at the shop that he worked at. He taught me a lot about the industry, proper aftercare and stretching, and became my mentor and someone I could look up to no matter what. I learned a lot from a young and very talented artist (he was only twenty at the time), and since the day I met him I knew what direction my life was going.

I know the why question is hard, but “why?”, and can you think of earlier influences?

This is my passion. It makes me very happy doing this, and it satisfies an empty spot in my life. I believe in concentrating and self-inflicting pain — it’s putting myself through more challenges in life… As if life wasn’t hard enough! I don’t think life should be easy, and if you’re doing something you love and it makes your life harder, and you have the ability to work through it, it only makes you stronger. This is the love of my life — more than family and friends even. If I wasn’t able to mod myself I’d feel as if I was walking around as a fake. I also find the way I look attractive — I’m absolutely amazed at what one can do to one’s body to make it completely change form.

Really, why should everyone look the same?

Like I said, my piercer was a big influence on me in my teens, but as a kid my uncle was in a state prison and all I could see were endless tattoos. He was a great guy — he just screwed up. I had a very positive image of body modification at a young age, although it went against everything my parents ever told me. As a kid I pierced my ears with safety pins and my labret with a sewing needle, as well as numerous surface temporary piercings. The more my parents said no the more I got into it… Then I discovered BME — oh my god, BME — once I was shown that site it was over. It was a candy store for me. I started hanging out at tattoo shops all summer long and every day after school for around five years until I went off on my own.

All of this added to my obsession… The interest was already there, but when my eyes were opened to how far it can be taken I never looked back. I dedicated my life to it, and to this day still do and plan on doing it until I die. It’s a part of my life that’s too good to let go.

What made you decide to start to push your modifications in a direction that’s far more extreme than most people can relate to?

My interest got so deep into it I didn’t see a reason to stop at a certain size just because it was more accepted to stop there — being accepted by the community is something I can do myself no matter how I look. After seeing some of the famous modders like The Lizardman, Pauly Unstoppable, and the movie ‘MODIFY’, I knew I could put up the fight, and so far have succeeded. I take this part of my life so seriously, and I believe you can change the way people think with the right attitude and perspective. It’s all about being nice no matter what, and fully informing them no matter how unbelievable what they see is.

Given that you’ve made these changes in such a short time, I’m sure you’ve got some remarkable insight into how people who look different are treated?

My immediate family does not accept my body modifications at all, and still don’t completely understand me. I’ve done my best but they don’t want to believe this is who I am. My friends love it — they refer to me as a rock star when we go out in pubic because I have five to twenty confrontations each time I go to a store… nothing but tons of questions, excitement, and disgust. The public is very interested but not everyone can gather the courage to confront someone to ask questions and to fulfill their curiously. You’re always going to get bad attention, but there is a lot more good attention than most people would think.

What advice would you have for people who are considering doing something radical like this?

I would seriously encourage people to take a long hard thought before doing something like this. You receive so much criticism, and it’s a lot to deal with on a daily basis. It is very difficult to handle and you have to be emotionally strong to get through it all. But if it is a decision the new generation is willing to take, it is only going to get easier as time goes on.

Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, would you like to meet and date someone as radically modified as yourself?

I believe it would be so much easier to date someone that looked like Duff or Miss Kayteek Etemine because it would be easier to deal with the constant modifications and the public response as well because they would have already been use to it in their own lives, instead of having to adjust to an extreme amount of constant attention.

It can be a lot for someone to handle who has never experienced it before. I recently lost my marriage over my body modifications — she told me it was her or the modifications…. I couldn’t believe my ears. I basically laughed, then cried, then said good bye. This path wasn’t meant for everyone and it takes extreme dedication to do what I have accomplished.

Not to mention sacrifice…

Toph's Amazing Stretched Piercings
 

Thank you to Toph for taking the time to talk to us! Please visit him at iam:Toph.


Shannon Larratt
BME.com

 

So what’s it like having magnetic vision? [BME Publisher’s Ring]


So what’s it like having magnetic vision?

If you don’t already know about magnetic implants, you may want to read our previous articles on the subject, including the original interview about Todd Huffman’s magnets, a six-month retrospective on mine, as well as a magnet risks article with a follow-up by Jesse. In short, magnetic implants are small, encased magnets designed to be implanted in nerve rich areas in order to give the patient heightened sensitivity to EM fields — that is, magnetic vision. Because the magnets vibrate very slightly, the wearer’s senses begin to extend, giving them an awareness of electromagnetic fields and radiation.


Just like iron filings want to align themselves with a magnetic field, magnetic implants also want to align themselves with magnetic fields. This motion can be felt on an intuitive level by the fine nerves in the fingers, tricking the body into feeling like it’s touching a physical object when it interacts with electromagnetic fields of all sorts.

In this interview I wanted to talk about the “day-to-day” aspect of having implanted magnets — “what’s it like?” Magnetic implants are still quite uncommon, with possibly less than a hundred people having them. We’ll talk to eleven here — in order of when the magnet was implanted, Todd Huffman ([email protected]) had his done in January 2004, a stack of six magnets in a single case, implanted by Steve Haworth and made by Jesse Jarrell (Mr. Bones), who had a silicone case molded 1/16 length X 1/8 dia N45 NIB installed by Steve a few days later. Steve Truitt‘s magnet was self implanted in mid-2005 (and removed about a year later), and my (Shannon’s) magnets were done at about the same time by Steve Haworth. Also by Steve, Quinn Norton‘s magnet, since removed, was implanted in September of 2005. Jymmi‘s magnet was done in September 2006, and Powder‘s was done a month later, both by Steve Haworth. Fred has a 1/16″x1/16″ neodymiuym magnet implant in a custom made titanium casing (all the others here are in silicone), implanted by Nickk Leading. Anton and Dean were both done in January of 2007, and KYO got his most recently, in April 2007.


Jymmi having his implant done by Steve Haworth

When and how did you become aware of being able to sense things with your magnetic implant?

Fred: For the first month I thought this was a failure; my main goal was to be able to sense things and I hadn’t sensed anything so far. I work for a company where we manufacture a number of electronic things, and one day my friend was testing a large 230volt power supply with a huge transformer in it so I walked up and waved my hand in front of it and got that cool vibrating sensation in my finger tip. Immediately after I just started putting my finger up to several things I knew had transformers, clocks, cell phone chargers, and microwaves. So far my nebulizer, which I use for my asthma seems to have the strongest field.

Steve It was probably two weeks into having it that I started sensing things. I could feel my microwave stronger than anything.

Jymmi: I could feel small things at about a week to two weeks, like an electric shaver and a one inch earth magnet. After about three or four months I also could feel the electric fields in my non-magnetic hand. It’s not as strong as my magnetic hand — it’s more of a general feeling. About a month ago I started feeling the vibrations in my feet.

Powder: A few days after I had the implant done I was standing in my father’s garage near a large running engine. I felt what I thought was a light breeze on my hand but realised it was only in my implant finger. I started moving my hand closer and farther from the engine and felt slight differences in the sensation.

KYO: On the sixth day I picked up an electric sharpener and had a weird sensation — then I realised it was actually the magnetic implant reacting to the electro magnetic field from the engine.

Jesse: I tried static fields from large magnets fairly immediately after insertion, but the first really astounding sensation was provided by a power drill.

Todd: To quote from my blog, two days after getting the implant:

I experienced my first "in the wild" implant sensory experience. I was in the library checking my e mail, and as I walk out there is an anti theft gate thingy. When I stepped on the pad I felt my implant oscillate, and quite noticeably so. My initial reaction was surprise, since I wasnt consciously paying attention to the implant. After the initial adrenaline rush I walked back and forth through the sensor gate, and it is quite interesting. So far my interactions have been planned, i.e. putting magnets and metal near my implants to see what happened. Todays event was rather significant, it was not planned, nor was it forseen.

Dean: The first thing I noticed was while drinking a can of Coke. The magnets themselves obviously weren’t strong enough to pick the can up, but I could feel a slight sensation when holding the can itself. The best way to describe it is a tingling sensation. To date, I am the only person out of the three i know with the implants to get this with a can.

Quinn: Right after the implant, Steve passed a magnet close to my finger. I felt it move, and jumped. After that I wasn’t sure which sensations were the healing process and which were the magnet, but as time went on, I was able to distinguish more.

Shannon: The first thing I noticed was the drives and fans in my computer. I think I remember a vague buzzing in my fingertips, wondering what it was, and then moving my hands around and realizing that I was sensing definite fields and from that point on it snowballed (although I think they may be becoming less senstive over time — I don’t know if this is due to scarring or demagnetization).


Fred’s magnet picks up another small magnet.

What range of sensation are your magnets capable of?

Anton: I can feel rather faint magnetic fields and also electric currents at times, depending on how strong they are.

Fred: I can’t feel store security poles, but I have felt a metal detector as I walked through — surprisingly it didn’t go off like I thought it would. I have to have my hand less than a foot away from whatever I’m attempting to feel.

Jymmi: I am more sensitive to electrical currents. Sometimes the implant will vibrate or twitch depending on what I walk by. We have these big space heaters at my work, about fifteen to twenty feet up in the air and my whole hand vibrates when those turn on. We also have electric forklifts, and when I get close to the battery chargers it feels like an electric current running up my arm.

Steve: I could sense some electrical currents on certain things, especially larger things like my stove or dryer. I could feel certain types of security sensors at some stores. I was never able to feel anything from my computer though.

Powder: I can feel different amperages in various cables. I can also tell when a metal is a ferous or not. My favorites are the fields around microwaves (a couple of feet out), AC transformers (a few inches), and fans under the keyboards of laptops (about half an inch above and while typing).

KYO: range is hard to define since I find new things on a daily basis. But I’m basicly able to feel the magnetic field around magnets, my computer, some speakers, the oven, some fields around the electric wires (I can actually detect the flaws since the lower protection allows the field to get trough).

Jesse: On the lower end I can feel higher power draws through standard 120v insulated power cords (wall power), various functions inside computer equipment(from a distance), magnetism in the more magnetic alloys, on to stronger things like various components of high voltage equipment used in my machine shop, including insulated high voltage leads from a foot or more away, transformers, motors and magnetrons wherever they may exist, store security devices, the stove, and so on.


Closeup of Jymmi’s magnetic implant being installed.

Todd: Static fields are pretty uninteresting, and need to be pretty large. Oscillating fields I can sense at much lower amplitudes, and are more interesting because they occur more frequently in the real world for things I find interesting. I’ve never quantified the exact range, but I can sense a current running through an insulated wire if there is enough of it. Whatever a power cable to a hair dryer pulls I can sense, and probably about three quarters of that current.

Dean: The magnets themselves aren’t that strong, although I am able to pick up tiny pieces of metal and can also use them for various magic tricks in conjuction with my magnetic wedding band ring. The most sensation I get though is when walking through magnetic fields — those sensors they have by shop doors. Again it’s like a tingle within my finger, almost like a sixth sense.

Quinn: I felt about three different sensations from my implant. I can’t really describe them very well, but one of them I got consistently from my laptop, and another from electrical cords. The third I felt very rarely… And of course, a fourth: other magnets pulling on my finger. To this day one of the oddest things I have ever felt was the magnet spinning in my finger in response to circling it with another magnet. I tried to practice with it everyday, bring it close to things I thought would be sensable and concentrate on the sensation. After a while it became a comforting and even enjoyable thing. I would pass the magnet over parts of my laptop, and feel them consistently. After a while it helped me feel kind of like all was well with the world. I enjoyed concentrating on the feeling more than I thought I would. I was pleasantly surprised when I would run into unexpected sensations.

Shannon: I can barey feel static magnetic fields unless the field is very powerful (such as a large magnet). Vibrating EM fields ranging from spinning magnets in engines (power tools, the fans and drives in a computer, and so on) to any A/C or otherwise fluctuating electrical fields are very easy to feel. Powerful fields like you find in some security systems (especially the type that need to deactivate tracking tags) can actually be quite painful, but essentially an EM fluctuation is just like a physical vibration. So for example, a power cord will have a “buzzing” halo around it that I can feel without touching the cable itself. The size and tone of this field make it fairly obvious what I’m touching.


Paperclip trick by Powder.

What are some day to day ways you use your magnets?

Anton: I work in a hospital (in the ER) and I can tell if the MRI is in use about fifty feet away from the room. Needless to say, I can’t go in there when it’s on, or it will rip the magnets clean out of my finger — I guess that’s one way to remove them.

Fred: I actually use my magnet quite a lot, mostly just to see if stuff is turned on. I am able to locate transformers inside objects and thus detect if they are on. I work in production where I make tons of different electronic components. It’s fun because Im around a lot of huge transformers so it’s interesting to see how strong each of them are. I found a magnet under my bed once by feel alone, even though I wasn’t even looking for that and couldn’t see it.

Jymmi: I like to walk around work or through a store or just from room to room in my house and find different places that give off electric feilds — like air conditioners, tattoo machines, and refrigerators. I use my laptop everyday and there are still a lot of fields that I can’t figure out where they are coming from — the disc drive is kind of going bad and everytime it spins trying to read discs it puts off a crazy field. There is a small field around the steering wheel on my car — I can’t figure out if it’s from the metal vibrating. or if there is a magnet somewhere in there. Some cars have it, some don’t.

Steve: I didn’t really have any day to day uses other than just being able to sense things. Now that it’s been out for over a year, I can still sense the same magnetic feilds, just not as strongly.

Powder: I have used it to find hot cables in a bundle, and sometimes use it to test reed switches in some of the electronics I repair.


Jesse’s magnets being installed.

KYO: Working at McD, there are the fries that beep once the cooking is completed, and the magnet allow me to know about a second ahead that they will beep since there is a diffrent field that appears to make the alarm go on. Also, my imitation iPod tends to turn off by itself or simply go on pause, and the magnet allows me to know if it’s on or not without taking it out of my pocket. My cellphone is on vibrate, and I’m never sure if it’s my cell or not, but by holding my finger about half an inch away, I can tell for sure if it’s actually the cell that’s ringing. Finally I had used my magnet to troubleshoot a laptop, being able to detect something strange under the keyboard, and the tech did change a card that was located exacly in the area I had spotted the irregularities.

Jesse: Immediate awareness of high voltage is very comforting in a lot of ways — there is a reasonable amount of it around me in the shop where I live. Determination of ferrous alloys is frequently handy without having to go look for a magnet. Circuit tracing inside various equipment is often aided by it. Common shop dialogue: unenhanced individual: “Hey, what the hell is thing I pulled off that old assembly line?” enhanced individual: “I don’t know, but its got magnets inside the case here, here and here, I’m guessing the two along that guide rod are for positional sensing, and the one over here is probably a transformer.”

An interesting note is that I sometimes get “noise” from it — moving fields with no apparent source. Some of it may be the magnet just “righting” itself after being moved by a previous field or physical force and slowly settling back into a position that fits better with the tissues in my finger, but there have been a few occasions that were not so easily explained away, where I sensed apparent moving fields in open air with no visible source.

Todd: Occassionally I use it for diagnostics. For instance, in airports often the power plugs on the walls don’t have power, and I can test them out by just plugging in my power adaptor and feeling for the field — I don’t have to get my computer out. One time I was trouble shooting a water pump, and I could tell that the motor component was working just by feeling the fields, letting me know that the problem was with the pump-shoe thingy. I can also feel my laptop’s hard drive stepper motors, and I like knowing when my computer is moving out of RAM and dropping down into the HD for info.

Dean: I usally get most of my day to day use out of the magnet when going in and out of stores. It also helps to tell when certain things are turned on if there no other signs to tell you so. Like my computer monitor… the standby light has broke, but I am able to tell if it’s on standby of not by placing my hand on the screen. Then again though, it really is an old messed up screen. I really should replace it.

Quinn: A couple times, in determining if something was live or not. Once, I was able to work out that a demo wasn’t realistic based on the sensation from a cord.

Shannon: I’m very aware of power, so for example it’s easy to tell if something is plugged in because I can feel the power leaking out of the extension cord (and I can tell how much power is being drawn — and also tell the quality of the cable assuming there’s a frame of refernece). In day-to-day life, my electric stove has bad connections in some of the burners, so the amount of heat that a given dial-setting generates is different from day to day. Now, instead of using the dial, I just hold my hand an inch or two over the burner and “feel” for the right setting by sensing the amount of power that’s leaking off the coil. It’s actually quite fascinating how EM-saturated our environment is.


Jymmi’s powerful magnet picking up a couple of safety pins.

Does your magnet have functional (as in non-sensation) uses?

Fred: Sadly, I am only able to pick up other magnets and only small things like staples.

Anonymous: I’ve gotten laid a number of times directly attributable to the implant. Occasionally a girl on the fringe of my social group will be all like “are you the guy who put a magnet in his finger?” (swoon).

Anton: I can pick up very small, very light objects, and move the compass on my keychain — it’s great for bar tricks.

Jymmi: The most I can do is pick up screws, paper clips, and bottle caps — or spinning lighters. It really freaks people out when they hold your finger and you move the implant around with another magnet they can feel it moving around under the skin.

Steve: It didn’t hvae any functional uses for me, other than some “party trick” type stuff like picking up paper clips or things like that.

Powder: I use my magnet to pick up small screws I might drop while working on various electronics. I have used it to single out a cable in a bundle of cables. I mostly use it to do small magic tricks like playing with my compass or rolling other magents around without touching them. When I’m bored I’ll play by swinging a paperclip back and forth.

Todd: It has functional use in that it helps me reconceptualize the world around me, and every now and then I say something smart, and that is what people pay me to do. I got into my PhD program solely because of the implant. I was at a conference and some dude was all like, ‘there’s this dude who put a magnet in his finger’ and I was like ‘oh thats me’ and he was like ‘no, really’, and I was like ‘no really’. Then he made arrangements for me to get into my PhD program. Which I promptly dropped out of for sociopolitical reasons but it was pretty cool at the time.

Dean Newman I suppose the most use i get out of the magnets again would be when using with magic. Stopping a compass, or sometimes even a watch although that is a lot harder. After a while i was able to use it to “palm” certain objects although nothing bigger than a paperclip.


Shannon’s silicone-dipped magnetic implants being placed.

Why do you think some people report magnetic sensations without the magnet? (Both in new areas, and after removal)

Jymmi: I’ve been wondering if you need to have the implant to feel the electric field — if you can train your body to feel it without the implant. It would probably explain why I can feel it in both hands and feet, or maybe i’m just a freak. I think it is real. I’m not sure if it’s nerve density or something biological like high iron in the blood?

Todd: I sometimes percieve the magnetic sensation in two fingers, my left ring and pinkie fingers. However, I only have the impant in my left ring finger. I’ve thought about this phenomenon, and here is what I have believe is occuring. In the course of normal finger operation your pinkie and ring fingers often percieve things in parallel. For instance when you grab an ass or run your hands down a woman’s back those two fingers are feeling pretty much the same thing. Your nervous system has limited resources for transmitting information, and uses clever tricks to up the amount of information processing per calorie. Since those two fingers often run in parrallel, at some point for efficiency the nervous system constructed a compression algorithm. The dual finger perception with only one implant is an artifact of that compression. The phenomenon isn’t 100% consistent, I’d estimate 10% of the sensations come up dual.

Shannon: I can’t currently sense EM fields in any place other than the fingertip that contains the magnet stack (and the ones that have been removed don’t appear to retain any sesnation), and don’t have any “crossover” between fingers.

Quinn: I suspect this is a matter of learning to concentrate. Before I went to Phoenix I designed a test just to make sure it was real, picking out a live wire from 4 choices. We did it double blind back in California with unmodified controls. People actually could pick out the live cord better than the stats would have had it. When I sat down to try it, I could pick out a live cord about 80% of the time, about twice the other controls. We were all surprised, but after talking to some people that worked with electronics, it turned out this was not at all unique. I think it’s entirely reasonable to think that learning to concentrate on AC would let you do it with your skin even without a magnet; though not as reliably. We are, after all, conductive.

Please note that magnetic implants are still highly experimental and the underlying encasement technologies and so on are not yet mature. If you want one, please be sure to research and understand the risks in advance!


Quinn’s implant (note the discoloration) just before removal.


Shannon Larratt
BME.com

Pauly – The Unstoppable!

Next in the firing line is Pauly (IAM: Pauly Unstoppable). He’s got arguably the biggest stretched nostrils in the West, to say nothing of his many other heavy body modifications, is descended from the Maori, he’s been shot at, stabbed, run over by cars, fallen out of high buildings, been set on fire, overdosed by accident (and on purpose), been flatlined by a drunk driver, comatose, beaten, maced, tasered, shot at with rubber bullets and was once pronounced legally dead for eight minutes!

What a gay, erm, guy.

ROO:

Hi Pauly, to kick things off tell me a few things about yourself you consider boring..

PAULY:

Well my name is Pauly Unstoppable — that’s what I go by on a daily basis so the name I was given at birth isn’t really important. I’m twenty-one and was born July the 18th, 1985, and for the most part I was raised in Indianapolis, Indiana, but I’ve lived all over the place. My hair is brownish, my eyes are greenish and I’m about six feet tall and weigh roughly 140 pounds.

ROO:

And now something riveting?

PAULY:

I used to weigh 280 pounds.

ROO:

Did becoming a vegan play any part in that?

PAULY:

Well I was already vegan when I lost the weight. Just being vegan doesn’t make you automatically healthy, you can still be vegan and eat like shit! It was more of a lifestyle change that helped me shed the extra tonnes.Basically I started eating food with really low fat content — fresh fruits, veggies and so on — and exercised like a demon. I rode my bike for eight hours a day and did so many sit-ups and push-ups that sometimes I could barely move the next morning… I really need to get back in line with that though. I’ve been a little out of shape recently sadly.

ROO:

You’ve told me about your wang on many occasions — eight or nine inches long by six and a quarter inches in girth if I remember correctly. What makes it hard?

PAULY:

Pretty boys with tattoos!

ROO:

And what makes it flaccid?

PAULY:

Scary vaginas and Margaret Thatcher!

ROO:

It’s unlikely I’ll be seeing you skipping hand in hand down the street with her in the near future then?

PAULY:

Haha! I don’t imagine so, although I will be in London in December so who knows? I don’t much fancy ladies and boobs just don’t register with me at all — it’s like I have anti-boob vision or something… and besides, she’s old! [ROO: 81 at the time of publishing.] I am trying to stay a kid for as long as possible and I don’t want her aging disease to rub off on me.

ROO:

Tell me more about your chin tattoo’s, rumour has it they’re BME related?

PAULY:

Well, it wasn’t meant to say “BME” — at least I didn’t do it consciously. At BMEfest this year Philip Barbosa noticed that it resembled the word BME, and once he pointed that out I could see what he meant, sort of. They’re actualy a mixture of Maori design and North American tribe designs. I drew it when I was fifteen and just sat on them. I’m descended from Maori ancestry though my skin colour doesn’t show it at all.

ROO:

That’s one thing about you I didn’t know! Is your family tattooed?

PAULY:

Of the family I know personally none of them have any Maori tattoos at all. I’m really not sure how far back it was because most of my family older than my grandparents passed away a long while ago, so I didn’t have the chance to meet them or ask any questions. They were a far cry from how I look — I’m pretty pale but they were all very tanned with black hair and dark eyes. My dad is like that too, but not me.

ROO:

Apart from your mum who does your hair?

PAULY:

Just me…My ex did help me once, bless. The hair he helped me with was for BMEfest this year, it’s very hard to describe and was mildly ridiculous… basically I shaved two stripes down the top of my head, much like if you were going to start a mohawk and then decided to just leave all the hair on either side. It ended up looking like mullet with long fake side burns, and then a blonde strip dyed down the middle.At the moment I have a sort of fake rat-tail thing going on, I had to shave part of the back of my head for my new neck tattoo.Anyway, I talk too much.

ROO:

I know you’re gay because you’ve got a soft spot for me, but have you ever had sex with a ‘real’ woman?

PAULY:

Haha yeah, I have actually! I was in a threesome with my friend and his girlfriend. I guess basically she felt she needed to break the gay boy or something. That was the real first time, and I actually totally forgot about it for a while. Then I had another experience with a girl and started telling people about that instead. I’m a flake like that.

ROO:

You describe yourself as ‘Commie Scum’ — care to elaborate?

PAULY:

I hold socialist/communist political ideals. I believe in a government of the people, run by the people for the people. It’s just funny to refer to myself as “commie scum”, because in the hate mail I get I tend to get called that fairly often, so I chose to embrace it.That’s why I also refer to myself as a “faggot” on my IAM page. It takes the bite out of it for people.

ROO:

Is there anything in the world that could stop a Pauly?

PAULY:

I’ve been shot, stabbed, run over by cars, fallen out of high buildings, been set on fire, overdosed by accident, and on purpose. I’ve been flatlined by a drunk driver, comatose, beaten, maced, tasered, shot at with rubber bullets and was legally dead for eight minutes!Despite all that I’m still here, so I guess not.

ROO:

Does having flatlined change the way you see ritual at all?

PAULY:

I wouldnt say so, really… I mean, I am an atheist — a pretty hardcore one — but I do have a spiritual side. It’s just not the religious type. With me, rituals such as bloodletting and suspending and play piercing is a very spiritual thing, but it’s helping me to harness the energy that I have in me, and feed off of it and to put me in better touch with my mind and body and my surroundings and such. The fact that I have died and been brought back has really only strengthened that energy, but doesnt make me see it any other way. It definitely woke me up and changed my perception of a lot of things about life, and as morbid as it might sound, it made me a better person in my eyes. It sort of helped me to become who I am today, and I really love who I am today.

ROO:

Does the way you look help or hinder you in finding relationships?

PAULY:

A bit of both I suppose… I mean it obviously limits my dating circle somewhat, but my preference is geared more towards pretty tattooed boys anyway. My nostrils are what turn most people off, which is ok with me I suppose, although there is one person I wish didn’t mind so much, but that cant be helped.The thing that hinders my relationships most of all seems to be distance.

ROO:

Take a deep breath because now I’m going to ask you the question you most ‘dread’. During the planning of this interview you mentioned that you’d rather not talk about your nostrils, at least not make them the prime focus, which is understandable — does it bothers you that people see you as just “the guy with the giant nostrils?”

PAULY:

Well, it doesn’t bother me really. I would be very naive to think people wouldn’t notice giant fucking holes in my face! I’m quite aware that they’re much larger then anyone’s gone before, I’m not stupid and expect people to ask questions about it.Honestly, I don’t mind people being curious, I am a nice guy after all. If you are nice to me I’ll show you the same courtesy. For a while though I felt the focus was only on my nostrils — like they were a separate life force, they could have almost had their own fan club and its still sort of like that.For example if I post a picture on IAM or Myspace, I get like literally thirty messages asking me “Are you nostrils smaller?”, “What happened”, “Are you giving up?” et cetera. It’s not that I think that’s bad, I’m just not used to so much attention. As funny as that may sound I’m a fairly reclusive person, even now. Until pretty recently I was in the shadows of BME, that’s how I felt anyway, then I finally got a good camera and it blew up! [ROO: I think Pauly’s referring to his popularity, not the camera, hehe.] Some will say I probably milk it a bit, after all I do post lots of pictures and bulletins on various sites these days, but it’s only to please the requests I get on a day to day basis. That said there’s still one picture I wont make public no matter how many times it’s requested, and that’s one with all my piercings taken out, sorry but it’s just not happening, hah!

Anyway, back to the point, if there was one. The area I live at the moment is very conservative, so I don’t really venture out much, not on my own anyway. I do my grocery shopping at night because its utterly impossible for me to do it at like three or four in the afternoon, it would take me three hours just to find an amusingly shaped carrot because I get stopped every few minutes and so forth.

I’ve had more exotic piercings and tattooing for quite a while now so I’m quite used to being in public, and I don’t notice the staring and pointing at all. Unless they are blatantly rude and in my face I don’t see them or care in the slightest. It’s funny because it tends to be my friends that get pissed off with the attention when they walk around with me, because they’re not accustomed to it. I just have to tell them it’s part of my life and they’ll get used to it. It’s really not that big a deal and slowly but surely they’re becoming less emotional about things.

Simply put I’m a pleasant person so when people ask questions I answer them to the best of my ability. I know if I saw someone wandering the streets looking like this I’d want to look and ask questions. If it’s done nicely and they aren’t rude or condescending I’ll quite happily sit with someone for half an hour or however long they want and talk to them about body art! Nice people I meet outside of the piercing and tattoo community make me feel warm inside, it also makes me happy there are still open minded people out there.

ROO:

You must admit they’re an impressive pair of stretched nostrils — I feel like I’m complimenting you on a fine set of breasts, hah. Do you find the size they are now affect nasal health, nose hair growth, or anything like that?

PAULY:

That’s a question I’m asked lots, also in comments I see regarding many of my photos. To put that baby to bed, so to speak: I’ve had no ill effects in regards to the size of my nostrils whatsoever, the insides are still healthy and nice and I breathe just fine through my nose.If anything I find breathing even easier with the plugs in, they just seems to open everything up for the lovely oxygen.

ROO:

I’m sure you understand that many people reading this article may well see you as a trend-setter or role model. Some of those people may also have followed your changes over the past few years, but not yet be of age to start themselves. What advice would you have for them?

PAULY:

I started really young. My lobes were pierced at age seven, and by the time I was eleven I was already stretching them. I pierced my septum and PA at that time too, so I can understand the drive. I would say if you want to get work done at a young age, I would have it done right first time.. doing it yourself in your bathroom with a safety pin will just hurt you in the long run.As far as the more advanced stuff goes, I really can’t comment. I have friends who are much younger than I am, I guess I might have had some part in inspiring them to start things larger, and I know and trust they can handle it so that doesn’t concern me in the slightest. I really don’t think it’s my place to tell anyone what they should and shouldn’t do with their body, as I don’t think anyone should. People are allowed to make their own mistakes. That’s how we learn.I also don’t believe it’s right to tell people they’ll regret things in the future. I live firmly in the present, not the future, the only sure thing is the past and the present. The future is what you make of it. Sure having stretched nostrils or ears will close a lot of doors for you but it doesn’t mean your life is ruined. If you want to make life grand you can, you just have to want it enough.I tattooed my face at age eighteen, in part because I wanted to make sure I did what I wanted to with my life. I used it as a tool to force myself to strive for my dreams, and not buckle into society’s standard of living, because I don’t agree with it, and don’t care to live that way in all honesty. I couldn’t be happier with my life as it is now.

As far as being a trend-setter goes, I suppose that statement just makes me blush! I didn’t ever think it would matter that much to anyone what I did with my body. It’s not really something that crossed my mind, I just do these things because they make me happy. It’s just how I want to look, and how my mind told me I should look.

Don’t get me wrong I am glad that people can see some stuff I have done, especially if it helps them to push themselves to do what they really want to do, because it’s a big step in our culture to choose to something so outside of the ’norm’. I don’t think of myself as a trend-setter or anything like that, I am just a regular person who’s doing what makes him feel pretty.

ROO:

Has there ever been a time when you’ve regretted your modifications?

PAULY:

The only thing I have ever regretted is not starting something bigger or not knowing enough about stretching lobes when I first began.. If I knew then what I know now I definitely wouldn’t have had my lobes pierced with a gun — I’d have had them pierced with a needle, and a lot higher too. That makes the process of stretching so much easier in the long-term.

ROO:

Finally, for this subject at least. How do feel about the changes you’ve made to your face?

PAULY:

I honestly couldn’t be happier with the route I’ve taken in life, the only thing I don’t like is I’m not done yet, but that’s half the fun, haha! It’s the same old story really, I grew up as ‘the fat kid’ and due to that I’ve been left with plenty of emotional scars and really had trouble feeling happy about my appearance.Because of tattooing and piercing and so on, I feel beautiful.I also feel stronger than I’ve ever felt, despite receiving death threats and hate mail on a daily basis. They don’t phase me anymore though. Instead I giggle because I’ve come so far in taking back my appearance from the one I hated growing up with to the one I now hold and the one that puts such a huge smile on my face when I look in the mirror every morning.

ROO:

We’re all dying to know.. How many crushes do you have? If you’re feeling brave you can name names!

PAULY:

I have a few, I make sure everone I crush knows about it, haha. You never know! [ROO: After a bit of gentle cajoling I managed to needle some names out of him.] Jay_Veganxxx, Vegan Jarret, oilchange&wifebeaters (of course), you Roo, loving devotee and miketheshoe… On second thoughts I don’t want to list everyone or play favorites. I’d hate to leave someone out and upset them!

ROO:

What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever done? Favourite memory?

PAULY:

I don’t really have a particular favorite memory… Road trips across the country make me smile though, and living in Canada has it memories. There is so much much I miss about Canada.. it’s where I lost my virginity and my heart. And the parks and vegan restaurants are incredible! On thinking about it here are some of my favorite memories of my time in Canada……Hanging out at Buddhas [a vegan restaurant] after BMEfest, talking with Phil and Jason and then playing like twelve block games of grab ass!…Where it progressed so far Brandon was screaming so loud it was scaring people passing us in cars, haha….Electric butts with Ian, Howie, Efix and Oli and the rest of the Quebec city crew (no Howie, I wont have sex with this girl!)

I think the fondest memory that will stick with me the longest was when I lived in Montreal with Nye, it was one of the best times in my life and I’ll never forget it. I miss it dearly sometimes.

ROO:

Tell me what being a member of IAM means to you, do you think you’d be the same person if you weren’t part of this community?

PAULY:

Well, IAM and BME has pretty much filled a void I had in my life! I have been into body art for as long as I can remember. When I tell people how I got started, they are like, “what, you pierced your penis at eleven?!”I didn’t know what I was doing it just seemed like it should have been there all along. For a long time I felt very alone, and still sort of do because there aren’t many people around me with the same interests. IAM definitely helped me feel like I could talk to people who understood, the friends I’ve made here are like family to me. It gives me a place to go and a place to talk freely about my interests and for the most part people are supportive and share the same sentiment, so it makes me feel at home and not so ’weird’.I am a strong person and really nothing anyone can say will make me change my mind or skip a beat in my life, but its still nice to have a community of people you can come to anytime you need to, and they always make you feel at one with them.

ROO:

It’s been lovely as always Pauly, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.I think I hear Maggie calling you from the bedroom. Run Pauly, Run!You wouldn’t want to suffer the wrath of the Iron Lady.

PAULY:

It was my pleasure!

Click here to comment on this article (or use the comments forum below)


This article is copyright © 2006 bmezine.com, and for bibliographical purposes was first published November 26, 2006.

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The Lizardman vs. Jason “Cork” Sand [The Lizardman]


Jason Sand Interview
BY THE LIZARDMAN

I had the opportunity to meet Jason (IAM:Cork) in person in 2003 after first reading about him on BME. Since then the original interview with Jason was removed for various reasons but always with an eye towards replacing it with an updated account his amazing life and modifications. I was very happy when he approached me with the idea of doing the new interview and I hope I have done him justice by asking good questions — following are his responses.

LIZARDMAN:  Let’s start with the standard introduction: What’s your name? How old are you? Where do you call home?

JASON:  Jason Sand. 27 years old. Currently living in the D.C. Area (MD), next year Vermont.

LIZARDMAN:  How would you describe your motivations for your modifications?

JASON:  I would say many of my modifications are a blend of reclamation, spiritual, and aesthetic appeal. My theme as a whole is based on my personal and spiritual evolution. Amongst all of that I’ve accumulated a few mods that simply appeal to me artistically, or even sexually.


LIZARDMAN:  Describe your modifications and who did them:

JASON:  My facial and neck tattoos are by various artists including Shane Munce, Rosanna (No hope No fear in Amsterdam), Joe Marro, Preston Jarvis, Mike Derazmo, Chris Lee a.k.a. Batryder, JD (Psychotic INK), Jackie Brown, and Eric Stokes. My half sleeve by Bryan Harper. The back piece in progress is by Shane Munce and Chris Lee. I have an in-progress chest piece by Jon Clue and a crotch piece by Mike Fikes. The leg and foot work is from Shane Munce, Mike Derazmo, and Eric Stokes. And I also have some other work by various artists.


My piercings from top to bottom include two 2ga upper ears, a 00ga upper ear, a 4ga upper ear, a 1ga conch, a 1.25″ ears (split and reattached by Steve Haworth), a 13mm Septum piercing, a 27mm by 14mm labret, three guiches in 00ga, 1/2″, and 5/8″ guiche, and a 1″ upper scrotal piece done in transcrotal style (i.e. partially stitched closed during procedure.)

My carved silicone facial implants and eight large Teflon horns are by Steve Haworth with Jesse Jarrell having carved the facial ones.

My chin branding is by Steve Haworth and my shin branding is by Alva in Jacksonville. The chest cuttings are by Frances and the knee cuttings by Ron Garza.

I have a self-done partial subincision and a partial head splitting by Shane Munce. I have a self cut and reattached split tongue — I think that’s it.

LIZARDMAN:  Future modification plans?

JASON:  I’m thinking about possibly switching the Teflon in my chest out for silicone. And really that’s about it… I’m pretty complete with most of my projects aside from tattooing.


LIZARDMAN:  Did you have an overall plan or idea for your mods or was it a piecemeal or evolution process?

JASON:  Most of it was part of an overall plan, but like many things in life, some of it was spontaneous, and much of it evolved and changed naturally as I came up with better or different ideas. Even now that I’ve planned out the rest of my work, there is still loads of room for change and adaptation.


LIZARDMAN:  Can you expand on the theme? I think because its not an obvious visual one it may be harder for people to pick up on immediately.

JASON:  I am not sure I can get this across correctly, mainly due to not being done, but I’ll give it a go. I have a few different related themes. Starting at the face the blue dots are to honor the skies above, and the water below — a tribute to air and water. My face and neck is a representation of destruction and creation, the Big Bang with the symbol for “God” (as in a being, not the one in the bible) being in the center, and below on my throat, a goat with the same symbol of God, representing destruction. I’ve also incorporated plants and animals in between this to represent the here and now. On the sides of my head I have “Kill thine Idols” (as in don’t have idols before your perception of god or enlightenment). The other side states “life after death” in regards to passing from this life into another.

My front torso is a huge face in progression formed out of different forms of plants from a cellular level to a lichen growth. As this piece progresses it will have more plant textures incorporated. This represents the organic process of part of myself growing out of me, a kind of spiritual peek through my inner window, ever reaching outward.


My back section is a tribute to fertility (the “human” orchid — human vagina — as opposed to insect vagina emulation), represented with an orchid and various spiders. Once finished it will have incorporated a scene of various nebulas and birthing stars, all overlapped with webbing to represent how it’s all “tied together”. Growing off the orchid and encompassing my ass will be two large berries with fetuses growing inside them, fusing the concept of birth and growth with an organic plant-like fusion. I’ll leave it at that for the areas that are not currently done so as not to jinx it.

Finally, my feet are once again a representation of destruction — and growth within filth. Shane Munce and I are currently working on them with tattoos such as three dimensional realistic zits, the worm from poltergeist, and eventually bruising, bloating, frost bite, gangrene, and so on.


The rest of my body, arms, crotch, and so on carry a few token tattoos from friends — more representations, mostly abstract, of plants and animals. My knuckles read ‘Hard Love’, and my brother has the same tattoo. We got it to represent the way we were raised.

I’ve also used implants and subincision, and eventually tattoos to give my genitalia an abstract, hermaphroditic, plant like appearance.

LIZARDMAN:  Tell me about the lobe re-attachment?

JASON:  Well, as to the “why”, one ear I had overstretched early on and suffered a thin spot. Later down the road I had a similar problem with the other ear during a scalpeling session. They both harbored thin spots but were holding in fine enough until I got too drunk on a rollercoaster ride and had my plugs forcefully jerked out of my ears. That made the thin spots too thin for comfort.

About a half year down the road when I was getting my temple implants I asked Steve Haworth if he’d do my ears the next day. It went well, but one ear did not completely attach after healing, so six months down the road Shane Munce did a partial reattachment on it. I’d say the attachments were about 80% successful, and three years later I’m still happy with the results.

LIZARDMAN:  You cut and then later reversed your own tongue splitting?

JASON:  Yup, after the initial swelling went down, about two weeks to be safe, I realized it was grossly off center, I went back in and removed the scabby tissue from the center and bound it with a rubber band. In the first night the back reattached, and by the second day the front was fairly well attached. I have a small off center fork resulting from it and a crease that opens up a little bit. There is a hard piece of scar tissue in it to this day about five years later.


LIZARDMAN:  So your motivation was simply the off center cut, not that you no longer wanted a split?

JASON:  My motivation to reattach? Yes, it was literally like a quarter inch off center. That’s what I get for marking after the lidocaine.

I had plans to do it again. I was waiting for the lump of scar tissue buried in my tongue to soften and go away. And while it has gotten smaller, its not softer and I’ve just not gotten around to going through it again. I want to make sure its done right and I have been focusing on other areas since then. I’m sure I’ll get around to it later, but with the scar tissue and all, I have some worries that it might not be the best of ideas, and could impede mobility or something. Only time will tell.

LIZARDMAN:  So do you think you will go for a self cutting again when the time comes or is it something you now think would be better done by someone else for you?

JASON:  More than likely I’ll go to someone else due to there possibly needing to be a bit of sculpting, because of the existing scar tissue and fork.

LIZARDMAN:  What are your views on D.I.Y. versus going to professional practitioners?

JASON:  If you want quality work with less risk and better chances of success, go to a professional. Many are even accommodating to “rituals” that people would like to have involved in their procedure. I personally don’t see much wrong with DIY if you’re aware of the potential risks, willing to live with a mistake if it happens, and so on. It is a wonderful experience to have that kind of responsibility in your own hands and bring it to fruition.

LIZARDMAN:  Did the bad tongue splitting affect your views concerning D.I.Y. procedures?

JASON:  Not in the least, I knew I was taking a chance, and lived with my mistakes. Success will only teach and show you so much. You have to make a few mistakes before you really start seeing the bigger picture.

LIZARDMAN:  Do you differentiate much between the process and the product in terms of your modifications?

JASON:  When it comes to my scars, it’s often in the “process” of healing that I find more fulfilling, whereas with everything else, it’s the end product and I don’t necessarily get much out of the process. I do find it emotionally relieving at times, but I this is more related to the idea that inflicted pain can help one displace personal stress along with the physical discomfort.


In terms of getting something for original motivations or not, I’d say that is debatable in the sense that I may get it for one reason, but it could turn into a hundred others by the time I finish it, or on the flip side, I could have a incorrect hundred ideas of what it means, but once finished, its purpose is obvious.

LIZARDMAN:  You keep a low profile outside of IAM and other online modification sites. Is this by design? And if so, why? Given the public nature of much of your work how hard is it for you to keep under the radar?

JASON:  I like to think it’s by design, but I also think luck and circumstance plays a part. During the times when I’ve wanted to be more “public” it generally hasn’t fit into my situation. I’ve done some small TV coverage, a commercial or two, and some events but not much. I’m also not one to pursue things of that nature that don’t just fall into my lap. It really isn’t that hard at all to go under the radar. I use to get approached for things a lot, but one day it just kind of went away and hasn’t come back. So whatever I’m doing, it’s working.

LIZARDMAN:  Others with mods as extensive as your own are likely to work in either the modification industry or as performers. Have you ever worked in either of those realms? Do you prefer working so-called ‘straight jobs’?

JASON:  I absolutely prefer. Though the money and fame of being a modified celebrity are attractive, it is simply not my calling. Straight jobs are great, though I wouldn’t mind something a bit more unusual and creative from time to time.


LIZARDMAN:  To what extent have your mods influenced your job selections and opportunities?

JASON:  I’m not out there trying to get a vast assortment of jobs. I generally have a good idea of what places will and won’t hire me and tend to stick with those. Believe it or not, my work history and word of mouth have pretty much helped bypass any problems with getting hired initially.

Public notice and fitting into dress codes are definitely limiting factors. Also certain employee environments may not be suitable. I tend to get along really well with college age employees, and am usually taken in fairly well. Granted, my eccentric personality and approachableness helps a lot in this area. Many skilled labor jobs tend to look past the work if you have the experience or capability to back it up.

LIZARDMAN:  Were any comments made regarding there being consequences or resistance to going further than what you had when you were hired?

JASON:  Actually, no, there hasn’t been. I’ve just done it and not asked for permission.


LIZARDMAN:  Do you mind listing the jobs you have had in the past and their reactions to your modifications?

JASON:  When I was just pierced and stretching I got a job as a Data Analyst. After being relocated to another office in Florida, I started tattooing my face. At first a few administrative employees (i.e. the important ones) were a little taken aback. But since I already had a reputation for being eccentric in appearance with my piercings and various hairstyles, it was pretty much looked over. I worked the graveyard shift and rarely had to deal with anyone face to face.

After five years of that I left the job to pursue other interests and ended up working for TLA Video in Philadelphia. They didn’t care at all how I looked, as I was mainly doing sales and customer service over the phone and internet.

When I moved to a smaller city in Vermont I had a bit difficulty finding work. I ended up working in custodial maintenance a few hours a day. After a good while with the company, and a few stints doing other oddball jobs like mortgage refinancing and working in a Thai Bistro, they hired me on full time working in the kitchen and bussing tables (or any other job they had, other than bartending and waiting tables). They didn’t mind if I was seen by customers, but they just hadn’t chanced me serving them.

Then, upon moving to Maryland, I was very lucky to have known the kitchen manager at a TGI Friday‘s in Greenbelt (the third busiest in the nation last year or some such), which is where I’m currently at. When I move back to VT, I’ll probably start back up at my old job and possibly try and see if I can get on at another Friday’s.

Most places just take me as I am. I’ve rarely had anyone complain or reject me. I do occasionally get the uncomfortable coworker but that works itself out over time. Right now I think my resumé and willingness to work in most environments keeps me an eligible candidate for employment.


Jason wearing theatrical makeup as an experiment in disguise.

LIZARDMAN:  Anything you would tell anyone else considering heavy or public mods that caught you off guard after you got started?

JASON:  Hmmm…. What caught me off guard the most was the overall positive reaction I’ve gotten. Many people like the art a lot even if it may seem a little bizarre, basic, and unplanned — I’m not the best artist, but yes, it was all planned!

I expected the negative comments; many of us with lesser mods know most of these. What I didn’t expect was people simply not noticing or at least not letting on to the fact. Online I’ve taken a lot more abuse than I generally get in person.

Some people get loud, obnoxious, and sometimes jump right out of their seats. Expect to be touched, poked, prodded, and sneered at. Expect drunken people to run up to you and say “dude, you totally rock, much respect” — and then figure out a way to respond to such a comment without coming across as an arrogant prick!

Oh, and no matter what your tattoos are, someone is going to ask if you’re the Lizardman they saw on TV.

But, eventually there comes a time when all that goes away for the most part, and you get to start living your life like everyone else. You may look different and be different, but it all comes to how you fit into the community around you. That isn’t affected by how you look, but instead by how you act. That to me is what is most important and will get you a lot further than you think, even with a tattooed face.






Erik Sprague

because the world NEEDS freaks…

Former doctoral candidate and philosophy degree holder Erik Sprague, the Lizardman (iam), is known around the world for his amazing transformation from man to lizard as well as his modern sideshow performance art. Need I say more?

Copyright © 2006 BMEzine.com LLC and Erik Sprague / The Lizardman. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published March 14th, 2006 by BMEzine.com LLC in Toronto, Canada.



Brutal Beauty: One’s Quest for Altered States [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

Brutal Beauty: One's Quest for Altered States

“I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, and torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage.”

Friedrich Nietzsche


For some people, probably most people, there is a longing to explore various levels of consciousness. There are many means to achieve different states, whether it being through meditation, drugs, dreaming (especially lucid dreaming), and some can even discover them through listening to music and dancing, which is often seen at raves. This is not a new quest; it’s something that people have been doing for millions of years, all over the globe.

Those in the body modification community, especially people who are active in suspensions or pulls are examples of those who actively seek out different levels of consciousness. For many, these activities allow them to easily achieve altered states. Such rituals allow people to learn about the relationship between the mind and the body.

IAM:Inza, a 23 year old film student, has been on a quest for altered states of consciousness since she was a young girl. In her mid-teens she started experimenting with cutting because she wanted to know more about pain and body sensations. She got her first piercing at age fifteen, and she currently has over fifty body piercings, and both of her arms, her back and her head tattooed. She also has an implant in her chest, her tongue is split, and scarification on various places on her body. She’s done several types of suspensions, including coma, chest, and suicide. Never wanting to be stagnant in her life, she says that she needs to be progressing in everything that she does, and this includes her body. Body modification allows her to change, play and be creative with her physical self — something that’s very important to her and she hopes to never give up. Inza combines different types of pain and modifications to enhance her experiences, something rarely seen in this community. After she was comfortable with normal suspension, she added facial play piercings and then body play piercings to her suspensions — something she wasn’t sure she could handle at first, but it ended up being a wonderful experience for her.

She says that the idea to conform and find comfort in being at a standstill, something that’s so inherent to human nature repels her. I talked to Inza about her lifelong quest for the unordinary, and the steps she’s taken to get to know her body and its limits.

Inza, portraits by Raphaelle Duplay

 

BME:  Have you always felt different from other people?
INZA:  Even as a child I asked myself, “Who am I?” I have always wanted to find my genuine self, and as a child, I knew that my family, school and society were intending to create me as a personality and it had nothing to do with who I really was and wanted to be. I felt like a stranger who didn’t belong to this reality, and I felt the same pressure with the way that I looked: people pushed their desire for me to look natural, but it never felt right — it didn’t correspond to my true personality and the way I saw myself. Instead I wanted to create a look according to my inner self and my notions of beauty. These were off-beat and freaky looks that I found amazingly beautiful since a very early age, and this fascination was so strong that it’s possibly innate. I’ve always played around with clothes and heavy makeup and different hair styles — something that I still do today!
BME:  You do have a very unique look; where does it come from?
INZA:  Thank you, but I don’t consider my look to be unique. I haven’t invented anything, and all the elements of my look are not original — it’s the way I combine them that can create the impression of originality. The sources of my aesthetic inspiration vary from 80’s punk, post-punk and new wave to different indigenous cultures.

My passion for eccentricity goes back to early childhood. Even as a small child, I was greatly unsatisfied with the ordinary reality, and though at that age I couldn’t fully realize how vile the world is, I already found it senseless and dull. At the same time, I was very much attracted to visual eccentricity. I clearly remember that when I saw unconventional looking people, I thought they were fantastic creatures who lived in a totally different, wonderful and exciting reality. I immediately knew that this was what I wanted to be. Obviously, I’m not nearly as romantic about it now as I was at the age of five, but I’ve carried that fascination throughout my life.

BME:  Along with your physical need to be different, you’ve also been interested in achieving altered states of consciousness since you were much younger. Now that you’re an adult, you can take part in suspensions and other body rituals, but how did you achieve that goal before you found these methods?
INZA:  I was interested in meditation and self-hypnosis, but what I often tried were psychedelics, like LSD. I don’t do any at the present time, but would like to try them again. It’s not that body modification replaced the need for them — for me they are a totally different experience, and one can’t substitute for the other. I have an enormous respect for psychedelic substances — they had a deep effect on my life and my personality, and I’m grateful to them for opening my eyes on so many things.
BME:  How did your fascination with body modification start?
INZA:  Like a lot of people I was highly influenced by the Modern Primitives book, which I discovered at the age of sixteen. There was really something extraordinary about the effect it had on me and I remember before reading the actual book, I read an article about it in a counter culture magazine. Even reading this article and seeing few pictures shook me to the core and I started searching for the book. When I eventually found it, it had a tremendous impact on me.
BME:  What kind of impact, and do you remember any of the pictures that influenced you the most?
INZA:  The ones that had the most effect were the images of Fakir Musafar.

I already had quite a lot of piercings and I was a cutter, but I was really confused because cutting was always viewed as something negative and associated with masochism and depression, and I knew I had a totally different reason for doing it. Reading the book confirmed my belief that what I was doing was not something negative and self-destructive, but a wish to explore the effect that pain and body sensations have on the mind.

Also, at the time I was in search of an alternative spirituality. I don’t want to say I’m a spiritual person, but I always felt the need to have it in my life. Modern Primitives made me understand that body modification and body rituals can be a spiritual thing, and I can use my own body for spiritual growth, and that’s what I’m trying to do.

Suffice to say that for several years I was totally into this book. But as I grew older and as I re-read the book over and over again, I started to disagree with a lot of things written in it and my general opinion on it changed, but I still feel grateful for the huge impact it had on my life. It really expanded my horizons.

BME:  What were some of the things that you disagreed with?
INZA:  Though it’s been a while since I’ve read it, one of the major things I disagreed with was the idealized and romanticized vision of tribal cultures that the book gives. When I first read it, I got a view on tribal cultures, but it was only when I learned more about them through reading and watching documentaries that I realized that the social structures that existed in most of them were highly oppressive and incompatible with my strong individualist beliefs.

I’m still very much into indigenous cultures, but I separate aesthetics and spirituality from social order and the way of life that existed in them.

I feel that some people who were interviewed in the book were being conservative and almost close-minded because of their fixation on tribal cultures, criticizing certain types of modifications that were not practiced in them.

And finally, I don’t like the idea of putting all people who do body modifications under one tag — “Modern Primitives” or any other, as a lot of them wouldn’t identify themselves as such.


Inza’s first suspension.

BME:  When was your first suspension?
INZA:  It was about two years ago, in 2003. I wanted to do it several years before, but I didn’t have an opportunity as suspensions were not practiced in the area I lived in. I did a suicide suspension and it was one of the most beautiful, ecstatic and ground-breaking events in my life! I remember thinking that it was not as painful as I had expected it to be. Piercing and inserting the hooks was more painful than the suspension itself.

When I was up in the air, I was totally amazed and astonished by what I felt: there was hardly any pain (or rather, I found it easy to ignore), and I had an out-of-body sensation and the feeling of floating. I always pay lots of attention to the environment where I do my body rituals, and for my first suspension, I chose the seashore and I could feel a positive energy around me. At some point during the suspension, I started to think of different problems and hardships I had in that period of my life, but these thoughts were replaced by the certitude of me being able to live through them. I was surprised by how staggering and deep the experience was: I hadn’t expected that doing a suspension could get me into such an altered state of mind. I felt very strong and full of hope. My first suspension was pure joy!

BME:  Because you were able to overcome your negative thoughts, and in a way, heal because of your suspension, would you consider it “therapy”?

INZA:  No, not at all. For me the word “therapy” implies the presence of some kind of sickness or mental problem, but the problems I thought of during that suspension were not from the inside, and had nothing to do with my mental state, but with the highly oppressive environment I lived in at the time. I was wondering if I could survive the enormous pressure from the outside world, staying true to myself and keep devotion to the things I love and believe in. The answer I had then was “yes.” The experience wasn’t therapy, but rather something that filled me with strength and reinforced my will, along with giving me one of those rare moments of ecstasy and bliss that are so precious.
BME:  You’ve now done several types of suspensions — have you been able to reach an altered state with each experience? Do you find any differences with each type of suspension?
INZA:  When I do suspensions, it’s rather a question of getting into an altered state or failing to do so. I view suspensions as a tool for this, but the experience I have once I’ve achieved them doesn’t really depend on the type of suspension. The only time I failed to achieve it was with a chest suspension: I was able to deal with the pain, but it was extremely difficult to breathe. Plus there were a lot of people around, including a TV crew, and it made me feel very uncomfortable.

By far, I found it easiest to transcend the pain in a suicide suspension. It was a bit harder during my coma suspension, but I enjoyed it a lot. What I really love about suicide suspension is the movement is less restricted and you can swing. I like to swing a lot and it strengthens the sensation of floating.

I still haven’t done all types of suspension: I still have a knee and superman to try, and I hope to be able to do them soon.

BME:  What other types of body rituals or body modifications have you done?
INZA:  I have always been interested in play piercings and my first experience with it was mouth sewing, but facial ones have always attracted me the most. I’m totally fascinated by how my face is changed because of it and when I see my play pierced face, it has a very strong impact on me. Large gauge needles alter the traits and expression of my face which produces a peculiar, almost creature-like, non-human look only facial play piercing can give. I think every person’s perception of self is strongly connected with the visual image of oneself, so for me, seeing my face transformed by play piercing is really mind-blowing.
BME:  Lip sewing is not often the first choice when someone wants to experiment, so how did you get into it?
INZA:  It happened quite spontaneously. I wanted to try play piercing, and since I’m very bad at piercing, I had been looking for a piercer who would be interested in doing it for me. I knew someone who was organizing an exhibition, and he said that a piercer who was a friend of his wanted to do a performance and that I should speak with him about doing something together. So I talked to him, he proposed that we do a mouth sewing that day! I hadn’t expected to be asked to do it so soon, but because I wanted to try play piercing really badly, and I couldn’t find any other piercers who would be willing to do it, I agreed. It was the first and the last time I did a of body ritual as a public performance. We didn’t use thread — instead we used large gauge needles going through both of my lips.

I don’t have particularly good feelings about that experience, but it remains important because it was the first time I did a play piercing, and because of it, I immediately knew it was something I wanted to continue to explore.

Large gauge facial play piercings.

BME:  How often do you practice facial play piercings?
INZA:  I don’t do facial play piercings on a regular basis, as it depends on whether I feel like I’m in the right mood and state of mind to do them. It’s physically exhausting and because I use large gauge needles I bleed quite a lot, and it takes about two weeks for the swelling to go down and bruises to heal, and about a month for marks to disappear, if they do at all. So far, I’ve done facial play piercings six times, and five of those times have been done with large gauge needles.
BME:  What gauge do you usually do use?
INZA:  Lots of people ask me but I really don’t know! I just take the biggest I see. I never care about gauges, I don’t even know the size of my ear plugs.
BME:  How do you choose the people who do your play piercings for you? Has anything ever gone wrong?
INZA:  People who have done it for me have been both professional piercers and close friends. I prefer to do it with my friends, but as facial play piercing isn’t the safest thing to do, it’s important that I choose people who have a lot of experience and knowledge about piercing. Once during a facial play piercing session, a needle struck a vein in my forehead, and after taking out the needle, we couldn’t stop the bleeding. We had to call an ambulance and get a paramedic’s help in order to get it to stop. Since then, I’ve been extremely careful about the way facial play piercing is done.
BME:  Next you combined facial play piercings with suspensions. What made you decided to do that?
INZA:  I’m the kind of person that pushes oneself further and further with most of the things I do. I viewed doing play piercing and suspension together as a new step in my exploration of body rituals and the mind/body relationship. I don’t like being stagnant, so doing both together was a way of progressing and developing.

To be honest, before doing play piercing and suspension together for the first time, I didn’t know if I would be able to handle it. So in a way, it was quite a challenge for me to explore my limits. It was a wonderful experience and I got more confident in my potential and the next time I added chest play piercing to facial play piercing and suicide suspension. With body play piercings it’s the sensation of the piercing that makes the strongest impact, and though it’s an important part of facial play piercings as well, it’s surely the visual result that is the most striking.

BME:  How does suspension alone compare with suspension combined with play piercing? Are your senses heightened even more?
INZA:  Obviously, suspension combined with play piercing is much more intense in terms of physical sensations and pain than suspension alone. It’s more difficult to transcend the pain and I need to concentrate in order to do it, so through having these experiences I have brought my knowledge of mind control over pain further, and the ability to transform and use it as a method for mind expansion to go to the next level.
Inza’s combination suspension and play piercing rituals.

BME:  What is your implant? Was there any specific reason why you wanted to get one?
INZA:  It’s a steel ring in my upper chest, made by IAM:Jussi. There wasn’t a specific reason for getting it, just that I had wanted an implant since the first time I heard about them. I thought I would love the sensation of having an object under my skin, and I was right: I enjoy the way it feels even more than the way it looks.
BME:  Where does the design of your arm tattoo come from?
INZA:  The designs on my left arm are traditional Iban designs which opens me up for criticism for having traditional tattoos, but I don’t care. Even if I don’t know their exact meaning and I don’t belong to these cultures, I felt attracted to these designs on a primal, intuitive level, and that’s enough of a reason for me to get them.

My right arm tattoo design just came into my mind at some point, quite spontaneously. Because it’s a smile design, I had no problem explaining my idea to the tattoo artist, whose name is Yann, and who does some very original and stunning blackwork.

BME:  To match your tattoo, you had Emilio Gonzales do scarification on your arm. Why did you have that done?
INZA:  The idea of that scarification came to me at about the same time as the tattoo design. I wanted a massive scar going parallel to the tattoo and emphasizing it, and I’m happy with the results. The healing process was very inconsistent, but because it covers quite a large area all around my arm, it doesn’t bother me at all. There is a kind of brutal beauty about it, which I really like.

I’m a person that needs to be progressing in things I do. The same goes for my body: I really enjoy changing, modifying and playing with it, and not doing it makes me feel like I’m stagnant. I’ve always had an urge for creativity, and body modification is one of the ways I can be creative with my Self. I can’t predict the future, but I really hope I will never loose this urge and will never stop transforming, or in a way, creating myself.


Inza’s arm tattoo and scarification project
BME:  Do you have a lot of friends or peers that partake in these experiences, or is it a solo adventure?
INZA:  I’ve never met anyone who can really share my experiences, nor have I met anyone who has encouraged me to go further with them. Some people that I’ve had deep and close relationships with have nothing to do with body modification, but have given me enormous support on a personal level. They’ve been quite accepting of my body rituals because they know it’s important to me, and they can understand my reasons for doing what I do and what I get from doing it.

In the body modification scene, most of the people I meet don’t understand nor care about the ideas and motivation that are behind the things I do, and I’ve had some disappointing experiences when body modifications artists lose interest in helping me when they find out that I’m not going to do performances. I’m not a performer, and I find it really upsetting that so many people in the scene can’t imagine things like facial play piercing done not as performances.

BME:  Have you influenced anyone or taught anyone about your methods of reaching altered states?
INZA:  I really don’t know if I have influenced anyone or not, as it’s not a goal of mine. The older I get, the more I turn inwards and the less I care about spreading my ideas and having impact on people. When I was a teenager, I was very concerned about propagating the things I believed in, but with age, I’ve learned that I should concentrate on my inner development and growth. There are too many people who want to change the world and these same people run around without working on and changing themselves first.

I perceive myself as a seeker and not a teacher because there are too many self-proclaimed “gurus” who don’t practice what they preach. I’m not even close the spiritual level I hope to be at someday for me to consider being a teacher to anybody, and honestly, it doesn’t really interest me. Plus, speaking specifically about body modification and body rituals, I think there are some things that are impossible to teach. For example, I often meet people who are very scared of pain, and it’s hard for them to understand that not everyone feels the same way as them. I don’t think they can be taught by anybody else but themselves not to have this fear. I think that the ability to explore, control and transcend intentional physical pain is something you naturally have or don’t have and it cannot be taught or discovered by somebody else — they have to learn about it themselves.

But I’m always willing to share, not teach, the things that I know in terms of body rituals and altered states if I see that people are really interested.


Though Inza isn’t interested nor driven to teach people about her road to self-discovery, there’s no question that she is an inspiration. The need to find one’s Self is something that most people will experience in their life and knowing that someone can find out more about the relationship between the mind and body through these rituals is comforting. For those who are open to suspension, pulling, or anything else that will push your body’s limits, try it, and maybe you’ll learn something. People who’ve already participated in these things — keep doing it if it works for you. For those of you who aren’t open to these things, I really recommend the alternatives; meditate, dream, dance. Do anything that will open your mind and let you take a look into your Self. It’s time to stop playing it safe, and find out who you really are.

– Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice)


Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice) is a vagabond, though her roots run deep into Nova Scotian soil. She’s lived and worked on three continents since 2001, and has never lived anywhere for longer than eight months since the age of 16. She loves fonts, puns, being barefoot, and office supplies. Calm to her is the roar of the ocean.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Images of Inza’s scarification © Emilio Gonsalez. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online May 30, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, BCS, Mexico.

Suspensions & Tensions: Today, Part I – Fakir Rants & Raves

Suspensions & Tensions:
Today, Part I

TRANSFORMATIVE EXPERIENCES:

TRIP TO HEAVEN, HELL OR SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN OR BEYOND

In my last column I wrote about the history and origins of flesh suspensions and energy pulls, about some of the customs and rituals of other cultures from which we are just now rediscovering a special kind of magic. I wrote of a boy in South Dakota who was “set on fire” when he first learned of these body rites. Now I continue the path of discovery of that specific boy. Me.

In societies where suspensions by piercings are part of a spiritual tradition, these intense acts are intended to lead one to a transformative experience – an ecstatic state, a dissociation from the body where consciousness is free to explore unseen dimensions of life. It is at the same time a release into one’s own private heaven or hell, then if you are lucky, an escape from that limited state to a special kind of consciousness beyond ego. A universal spacetime shared by all. Suspension by piercings is not a toy. It is not a plaything. As some contemporary suspendees have already learned, when it is attempted as an act of bravado or show of stoicism, it can often lead to a very unpleasant and unrewarding experience. The unseen worlds do not open up. All that’s left when it’s finished are scars and a few rolls of film. For some with an impoverished ego, that may be enough. No problem. But for me it has to be more.

By the time I was ready to try a serious, long-lasting O-Kee-Pa style suspension, I had already learned to dissociate from my body and had experienced leaving it consciously (see “Against the Coal Bin Wall” in Body Play Number 4). By a series of increasingly intense and prolonged body rituals over a twenty year period, the “boy” had prepared himself for a truly significant inner experience.

FAKIR’S JOURNEY TO THE WHITE LIGHT

It began in 1962. I was thirty-two. Fate had allowed me to visit Japan. A very unlikely place for this journey to begin since my roots were on the plains of South Dakota where the mysteries of the O-Kee-Pa suspension had actually taken place a hundred years prior. In the Kanda bookseller’s section of Tokyo, I found a lost book that very few people had seen for nearly a hundred years: George Catlins’s original volume, “O-KEE-PA, A Religious Ceremony of the Mandans“. I opened the red Morocco leather and gold gilded cover. This was a rare original book published in London by Trubner & Co., Paternoster Row in 1867!! I held it in my hands and leafed through its pages. My heart pounded and my whole body began to shake. There it was, Catlin’s color lithos of young Mandan boys suspended by two piercings. How had this treasure gotten to Japan? Perhaps as a gift to some Japanese dignitary by the British, or in a missionary’s trunk? Who knows? My chances of finding this rarity were one-in-a-million, probably more. That day some force greater than myself seems to have directed me to my path up the mountain. My path to the Mandan’s White Light!

The bookseller, not knowing the rarity of this book, sold it to me for thirty dollars. Now I had an ancient guide to my destination and I lived with it constantly for the next year. The descriptions of the ceremony and the crude but vivid Catlin drawings sketched on-the-spot etched themselves into my consciousness. Only one thing mattered: I had to do the O-Kee-Pa!! But there were no living humans I knew who could show me the way. To the best of my knowledge, none of the few remaining Mandan (ninety five percent of them had been wiped out by a smallpox epidemic, a gift from the white man, in the winter of 1832) had ever done this rite in my lifetime. And I had lived among them. I was on my own and my sole guide had to be the same larger force that had mysteriously drawn me to that book on a hot August day in Tokyo, Japan.

By July 1963, I was ready for my first attempt. In the attic room of a small house in Palo Alto, California, I screwed up my courage and began the piercings. I was not prepared to pierce myself in quite the style of the Mandans – cutting deep incisions in my chest and inserting plugs. So I was guided to make deep piercings through my entire breast area, in as much flesh as I could gather up. I used some wire clamps I had made to hold the gathered-up skin in place. The piercings themselves were made by slowly screwing a long 1/16″ thick stainless wire through each breast with yet another home made device, a screw piercer (see photo). As the blunt wire tip slowly forced it’s way through my body (it took several hours to make each piercing), I went into a light trance. At this point I was glad I had fasted for two days, made other physical and mental preparations, and had opted for slow piercing.



Left: For my first O-Kee-Pa suspension in 1963 I slowly screwed long wires deep through each breast with the homemade piercing device resting on my lap in this photo. Wires were made into loops for the hanging. Right:
In my 1963 attempt, I lowered myself from a stack of books until I hung free for several minutes. I proved my living flesh was strong enough to be safely suspended by wires.

The sensation of the slow piercing was intense but bearable. Then, not having anyone to help me, I stood on a pile of books beneath a suspension frame I had made in advance. I gradually let my weight (140 pounds then) be “taken” by the piercings. I had to be very cautious. As the Mandans had learned, and Catlin mentioned in his O-Kee-Pa book, one can only hang by two piercings in the chest for about twenty minutes. After that, strangulation begins and one can quickly die!

Somehow suspension from dual piercings in the back does not cause the same physical effect and one can hang for much longer periods.

Over the next thirty minutes I managed to kick one after another of the books from under my feet. At last I was standing on tiptoes with about 80% of my weight on the piercings. My breathing was shallow and forced. The pain was intense to the point where I didn’t think I could continue. I had “gone out of my mind” and all that existed in the universe was the glowing fire in my heart center. At that moment, I tripped my remote camera, stepped off the last book almost unconsciously and swung free. The pain stopped and I started to drift off. I knew I had to come back pronto or I would be gone forever. So I struggled mightily to get my feet back on a solid surface. I had done it, even if for only three or four minutes! I was glowing, radiant and absolutely obsessed to try again.

My next attempt was a year later, in March 1964. I went through even more demanding preparations this time – I knew what to expect. I pierced my chest again with the same kind of wires which had proven, in 1963, to be large enough to support seventy pounds each without damage or tearing. In 1963 I learned a lesson about how tough living skin really is: it proved to be ten time stronger than dead skin (leather) and extremely plastic. This time I took even longer putting my entire weight on the piercings, perhaps an hour or more. I really wasn’t aware of time when I did these suspensions. This time I was prepared for the intense fire that would burn in my chest when I stepped free. And I was determined to hang as long as I felt I could stay conscious and regain control. I really didn’t want to die… yet!

I desperately longed for a Ka-See-Ka (physical and psychic guide of the Mandans), someone to help me and watch over me so I could totally let go and not be responsible for anything including my life. Finally I did swing free for a second time. I did manage to trip my remote camera again (see photo below). And again start to drift into that pleasant warm space I had experienced when I was lashed against the coal bin wall some twelve years before. This time I hung suspended for about ten minutes and don’t really remember how I got down, or who was watching over me to keep me from harm’s way. But some how I did escape and was more determined than ever to try again with a Ka-See-Ka. And then hang for as long as it would take to enter the unseen worlds and it’s potential transformations.

The next year, 1965, I met merchant seaman and tattoo artist Davy Jones who eventually put the large blackwork tattoo I had always wanted on my back and hips. He had lived among tribal people in the Pacific; he had been ritually tattooed in Western Samoa. We developed a close friendship and spiritual connection while making my “magic mark”. I developed a deep trust in his integrity and he expressed an interest in fulfilling the role or protector and Ka-See-Ka in my next O-Kee-pa suspension. But I had to wait another two years because in 1966 I mistakenly married a woman who really didn’t understand my spiritual quest or support my unusual explorations. She preferred not to be around during body rituals.

By April 1967, I was aching to accept Davy Jones’ offer to help in an “all out”; chest suspension. Nothing would stand in my way. So I gave my wife my car keys, a credit card, and $300; she drove to Palm Springs for the weekend. Again, I spent several days preparing myself for the ordeal to follow, the total “letting go” I desired. I signed a letter to Davy Jones releasing him from all liability and responsibility in case something happened (like serious injury or death). He liked that. The evening before the suspension, he arrived along with Joe, a sympathetic friend who agreed to make an 8mm movie as documentation. No still photos would be taken. I stayed up all night fasting in tight constrictions and other deprivations. I wanted to start a light trance and dissociation from my body before the piercing.

By 6:00 AM the next morning I was ready. In a calm and deliberate way I pierced my own chest for a third time. The energy from Davy and his friend watching was supportive and comforting as I rather quickly screwed the wire rods through my breasts. There was no real pain this time; my body wanted the penetration. The flesh just seemed to part on its own and let the wires pass through. Beautiful. I felt empowered by this. We made loops in the wires, bound the ends and attached a short rope between them. Then I told Davy I was ready for my suspension. Single file we went out into the bright, crisp morning light in the yard and then into the dark and empty garage building prepared for the ritual. The interior atmosphere was similar to a reconstructed Mandan lodge I had visited in North Dakota years before.

I stood on a tall black box in the center of the large room. Davy connected the rope between my piercings to another one dangling from the beams above. Both Davy and Joe gently pulled slack from the suspension rope. I felt increasing pressure in my chest. I was slightly on tiptoe when they stopped. A wonderful feeling swept through me – waves of tingling. This was different than the last time. I relaxed into the feeling. For a long time I stood very still in the silence and darkness. My mind was letting go. My attention focused on feelings and sensations. As we had prearranged, I was to say “UP” whenever I was ready to continue. I said “UP“. Ropes creaked and slipped sending vibrations into my piercings. I threw my head back, felt myself being inched upward until I was on my toes again.

Fire came into my heart center as I let myself sag down onto the piercings. I struggled for breath. But I soon relaxed into some comfortable shallow breathing, small pants. More stillness and adjusting. I started to drift away. I was a little blob of consciousness now, just observing body sensations no matter how intense. And the observer was somewhere remote from the body. I said “UP” again to see what would happen. Instantly I zoomed back to full awareness of body sensations, pain. More stillness, patience and adjusting until I was again safely detached. On the fourth “UP” I reached my limits. With almost all of my body weight on the piercings, I had to make my last conscious decision: give up or swing free!



Photos made from 8mm movie frames exposed during my 1967 journey to the White Light. No still pictures were taken. Hand in top photo belongs to Davy Jones who slowly rotated my body during the twenty-minute suspension.

I hadn’t come this far to give up. I plunged off the cliff and swung clear of the box which was immediately taken away so I couldn’t change my mind. I was floating in a vast sea of vibrations and vibrant colors. Uncaring with no identity, no memories, no body. Since my head was back when I swung free, I was looking up. And there it was at the end of a short dark tunnel, a great shimmering ball of white light!! It radiated intense waves of love like I’d never felt before. This incredible love was directed at me – personal and totally non-judgmental, unconditional, accepting. I passionately wanted to be swallowed up by that Light. In rapid telepathic communication, the Light spoke. It said: “Hello. I’m you and you are Me. And I’m as close to God as you’ll ever be. I am the One who made you and I am the One who will take you back. I brought you here. Remember the book? I am always here to guide you regardless of the form in which you see me“.

I asked the Light, “Do you always appear like this?” “No,” it replied, “I appear in any form you think I can appear“. Again I asked a question, “Is there only one of you?” The Light shimmered again and answered. “Of course not. Everyone has a White Light, but all of us are One. And One of us is powerful enough to create or destroy a world or universe. Let me show you“. I cannot describe what happened then. I was led on a fantastic tour of things made and not made and music that accompanies it all into a Divine Order.

I pleaded with the Light to embrace me. It said no, do not come closer. If I was embraced, I could not go back. The Light told me I had to return to my body and work through it until my task was finished. What task? The next thing I knew, I was back in the darkened garage laying on the floor with Davy Jones and Joe by my side. They said I had hung deathlike for twenty minutes. The experience was truly “transformative”. My life was markedly different from that day forward. I was a battery on “Full Charge” and didn’t have to sleep for the next 72 hours. My mind was ultra clear and all my physical functions seemed to have been enhanced.

Left: In my solo 1964 suspension, I hung by dual piercings for ten minutes.

Right: For my fifth O-Kee-Pa suspension in 1976, I hung from permanent deep chest piercings I had made several years prior. Iron hooks are 3/8″ thick.

Does God Hate Your Tattoos? [The Publisher’s Ring]

Does God Hate Your Tattoos?

“For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.”

– Ephesians 5:29

  

BME recently had the opportunity to have a virtual talk with Jay (iam:TautooJay), who is heavily tattooed and is in training to become a youth pastor. We were also joined by Faith (iam:serpensfeminin), a former Mormon raised in the Church of Latter-day Saints, Tiffany (iam:MissTiffany1), a Christian piercer from California, Karen (iam:Mighty_Mouse), a young Christian from Virginia currently sailing in Bermuda, and “Puck”, who asked us to keep him anonymous. Monty Vogel of the QOD staff (iam:MONTE) and owner of Body Mods in Nebraska also joined us, along with Mark, an old friend from San Francisco.




BME: How do you feel God sees your body modifications?

Jay: Honestly, I think God has more pressing matters than me getting tattooed. The Catholic Church took a stance on tattoos hundreds of years ago at the Council of Northcumberland that they were fine as long as they were not defamatory of the faith in any way. I’m not a Catholic, but Christian tattooing has been going on since right after Christ died — there are Roman reports of people with crosses or “Yeshua” (Jesus’s name in Hebrew) dating as far back as the first century, and seventeenth century wooden tablets of tattoo designs have been found in Israel.

Faith: The church’s teachings are clear that bodies are our “temples”. They are the portals through which our spirits pass, and they must be cared for. The way I’ve interpreted this is that we are here to learn, to grow, and to gain experience, and to do that we have to love ourselves. Before modification I didn’t even recognize the face and body I saw in the mirror — so how could I love it? Modification has helped me grow and understand myself, and I believe it’s helped my spirit grow. It’s been an essential part of being alive.

Tiffany: I don’t think God minds unless it’s a Satanic tattoo. People get tattoos of the things that are important to them — Christians have been getting tattoos since Christ ascended to heaven.

BME: How do you express your spirituality through your body?

Faith: I don’t feel the need to be spiritually demonstrative — I have a huge respect for people that use their body to worship, but it’s not what I do.

Jay: I have Jesus on my back with “Saved by Grace” written underneath. I have Psalm 23 on an anchor, praying hands, an eagle, Yeshua, a cross of three nails and a crown of thorns, an angel and a devil, a sacred heart, and “Jesus Saves” across my collarbone. I’m a walking billboard!

Tiffany: In Exodus 21:5-6 it says, “If the servant plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children: I will not go out free,’ then his master shall bring him to the judges. He shall also bring him to the door, or the door post, and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl, and he shall serve him forever.” — I am a servant of the Lord and I will serve him forever! So in a way, my piercings are done for him, to show that I am his servant.

Karen: I have a dove with an olive branch in its mouth on my left calf. God regularly uses doves has His messenger or helper — when the dove returned to the ark after the flood, he carried an olive branch in his beak to tell Noah there was dry land where he could build a new world for the glory of the Lord. I want to get a cross tattoo soon.

BME: What makes you think it’s “OK” as a Christian to get these mods?

Jay: Who says “it’s OK”? Society? Society is messed up. As Christians, we are called to separate ourselves from society. Although body modification is on the rise, it’s not the cultural norm — it’s not looked on as being completely acceptable. Christians don’t have to be acceptable to society — they are called on to be acceptable to Christ alone. I answer only to Christ.

Tiffany: Follow that voice in your heart.

Jay: I prayed for months before getting my first tattoo and signs just pointed me closer to getting one. If someone wants to know if it’s right for them, the answer is in prayer. What God may want for me may not be what He wants for someone else who He’s planned to go into business and win souls for Him — whereas I’m hoping to work with inner city youth and the less fortunate as well as kids… and they like the tattoos!

Karen: As long as I pray and I know my heart is right with God, and I feel his spirit with me, then I know I’m on the right track. Before I started into mods I didn’t really know who I was, what my body was. The Bible says my body is a temple, but without knowing it, how could I honor it? Now I do that by making it more beautiful.

Monty: I had a minister come in today and get his ear pierced. He had been asking the head pastor of his church if he could get it done for over four years — it was just recently that the pastor was gone on a trip and called to say that God had told him three times that day to allow the minister to get his ear pierced. The reason the minister wanted the piercing was that six years ago, while in Florida, he opened his Bible and his attention was called to Proverbs 25:12 — “As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear” — He knew then that he wanted to get his ear pierced, and today he finally got it done.

BME: What do you think of people who tell you God disapproves of your mods, or that the Bible forbids them?

Jay: We all make mistakes and we all fall short of the glory of God. They may judge me, but I know I have also judged others falsely. We’re in the same boat. Those who accuse me of going against the Bible, I talk to them as I would a friend. I point out the fallacy in the kindest way I can. You have to realize most of these people were born into this faith and their culture was intertwined with it and they don’t know any better. They never really looked up the context of the verses they are using against modified people.

Faith: Scripture isn’t law — they’re guidelines that make our lives more meaningful. God doesn’t want us to be an animal — he wants us to live with free will. I think it’s tragic that so many Mormons hang onto the Prophet’s every word, letting him make all their choices for them. He gives good advice for most things, but I just don’t see how an earring or two is going to make you betray your faith.

Tiffany: I work at a piercing and tattoo studio so I don’t usually meet people who say things like that, but it does give me a chance to talk about Jesus with those that may never get to hear about Him. Since I look the way I do and work where I do, I fit into “their type” — and they’re more willing to talk to me about it. If I didn’t have these piercings and tattoos, I might not be able to reach these people.

BME: Do you have any verses that you use to change their minds?

Jay: Usually I don’t resort to using Scripture on people who think tattoos are a sin. After I point out the error in the use of the Scriptures they quote, there’s really no need. Bible trivia wars are kind of stupid… and I’d win in the end!

Tiffany: The obvious one of course is Matthew 7:1-6 — “Judge not, that you not be judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

Karen: I like Galatians 6:17, “Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus”, and Isaiah 49:16, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

BME: What sorts of responses do you generally get from other Christians?

Jay: Some get wide-eyes and quote Leviticus 19:28 because that’s what they’re told growing up. I tell them it was written to Levitican priests and dealt with the issue of pagans mutilating their bodies to act as spirit mediums. Others like the artwork and are fine with it, but would never do it themselves. Still others — many others — love my work. Some want to get tattoos, others would never get touched by a needle, but they love my tattoos.

To all these people, I show the utmost respect and expect the same in return. It all boils down to the fact that we share the same faith and we’ve all experienced grace. The hard part is showing that grace to others, which is where a lot of modified and average Christians fail.

Tiffany: My Pastor likes my nostril piercing… My studio has tattooed and pierced members of the congregation. I’ve had negative run-ins, but it’s the positive ones that I focus on.

Mark: The Lutheran Church I attend is two thirds queer, but everyone seems to find my piercings entertaining. An older gay man asked me if I had any hidden piercings. When I told him that I also had my tongue and nipple pierced, he replied, “Oh, I’ve had the nipple for years. Got it done in 1968 — by a friend, with much ceremony, believe me!”

As far as the theological implications, I really don’t feel there are any. Surely God is more concerned with one’s relationship to Her and to one’s neighbor than with how one decorates oneself. I also dye my hair various colors, sometimes corresponding to the liturgical season — last winter it was blue for Advent, then I re-dyed it red just before the Christmas Eve service!

Karen: I don’t hide my tattoos and piercings either when I go to church. People into mods aren’t going to want to go to church if all they see is dressed up, uninked people. God loves people with mods, and so does the Church.

Puck: That’s not always true, Karen. I was asked to leave my youth group when I was thirteen years old for having a pierced navel and purple hair. They thought it wasn’t appropriate for me to be around the younger children while having such “outrageous style”. Many parents wouldn’t allow their children to come to youth group meetings because I would be there. I had to stop going to that church.

I also went to a Methodist church summer camp and wasn’t allowed in the church with the rest of the kids because of my hair and piercing. Eventually I turned away from God. I just felt like if the people praying with me in church wouldn’t accept me, then God wouldn’t either.

Faith: My stereotypically Mormon grandmother has a hard time accepting the fact that I have my tongue pierced because she can only imagine sins behind it. I guess she doesn’t understand that I’ve never given or received oral sex and I’m still a virgin — and no piece of metal in my tongue is going to make me change my values. All of my friends, most of whom are Mormons, see my ink and “plugs” as just a part of me — things that make me the quirky and amusing person that I am. I was even told by one of my closest friends that they never would have gotten to know me if they hadn’t wondered what was wrong with my ears!

I respect other people’s choices, and I’d hope they’d offer the same in return. We’re all put here for the same reason, but we’re not supposed to lead the same lives.

Way back in 1995, about a year after starting BME, I received the following semi-literate email:

“I think you are doing is self mutilation and I for one am very disgusted. But there is hope for you! Read the BIBLE!”

It may come as a surprise that I actually have read the Bible, and it no more says “don’t get tattoos” than it says any number of other cultural concepts — not theological concepts — such as “spare the rod, spoil the child.” In fact, the Judeo-Christian family of faiths is full of tattooed and pierced characters, and parts of the Bible are very clear that extreme modifications — self-amputations even — are what God wants for some people. Under Christian theology, body modifications are like words — they’re tools. They can be used to bring glory to God and help live a good life, or they can do the opposite.


There are many parts of the Bible that mention piercing in passing since it was relatively normal in Biblical times, but the only passage that seems to even vaguely ban body modification — tattoos* in this case — is of course Leviticus 19:28, which reads,

“Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.”

 

* I should note that the original Hebrew text reads “k’thoveth qa’aqa”, or “writing that is stuck in”, usually used to refer to a form of modification closest to ink rubbing — a pagan funerary rite at the time, very different from modern tattooing.
 

Leviticus is a book of laws telling the Jews of the time how to lead their lives. As such, the laws break down into three general types — first, laws regarding morality (bans on prostitution, bestiality, and so on); second, laws regarding health (advice on subjects such as food preparation — kosher laws); and third, laws to differentiate the Jews from the pagans (bans on certain rituals, haircuts, and so on). In the New Testament Jesus does away with these laws. That doesn’t mean that bestiality is suddenly OK, but it does give a modern Christian much more personal freedom in terms of things like the way they trim their beard and the way they choose to decorate their bodies, because they are now judged by their faith, rather than adherence to a set of hard and specific rules.

“Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.”

– Romans 3:28

“Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days.”

– Colossians 2:16

This is explained perhaps more clearly in Galatians 3:23-24, which tells how Jesus replaced the old covenant with a new one:

“But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith which should afterwards be revealed. Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster.”

As well as the mention of tattooing or cutting in Leviticus, body piercing is also mentioned throughout the Bible. When the Israelites fought the Ishmaelites, Gideon told his warriors that they could take the golden earrings of the enemies they slew (Judges 8:24), and numerous passages mention the piercings of the Israelites as well (Exodus 32:3, Ezekiel 16:12, Isaiah 3:21, and so on). Other sections, in Deuteronomy 15 and Exodus 21 describe body piercing on servants (as a normal part of society), and nose piercing is described as beautifying and normal when Behuel and Nahor’s daughter is married in Genesis 24.

Sometimes Christians object to body modification on the basis of it defiling God’s creation — after all, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 is fairly clear that the body is the temple,

“What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Earlier, in 1 Corinthians 3:17, a dire warning is issued:

“If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”

The question is, what does “defile” mean?

I’ll spare telling you that the Catholic Church has already publicly proclaimed tattoos as acceptable, and that Crusaders were commonly covered in Christian tattoos in order to proclaim their faith and ensure a proper burial — A good way to understand what’s appropriate for a temple is to look at the range of Christian churches that history has produced. Until about the 10th century A.D., Christian architecture was largely reminiscent of earlier Roman buildings. In the Middle Ages huge Cathedrals dominated, covered in spires, sculptures, buttresses — anyone who’s been in these structures knows how overwhelmingly powerful they are psychologically.

The Gothic period produced churches with complex and intricate decoration and gorgeous glasswork. Centuries later in the Baroque era churches were less physically imposing, but were encrusted with wealth — golden opulence was used to manifest God. Other periods and areas have seen simple churches, small humble buildings relatively unadorned with the people themselves bringing the glory, and in modern times we’ve seen churches constructed in every conceivable style. We’ve even seen very successful temples built using nothing but television transmissions and a studio.

Marshall Mcluhan may be oft-quoted saying that the medium is the message, but in this sense, I think God might correct him and say, “No, Marshall, it doesn’t matter what the medium is — it’s the message that counts.”


I hope it’s clear that if we’re to speak in objective terms, that there’s no specific ban on body modification in the Bible, and that its value as something good in one’s a life versus its involvement in sin is very much determined by the way it’s being used — to put it another way, telling someone that their Christian tattoo is wrong would be no better than telling someone that praising God is wrong because someone else shouted blasphemies. Speech — and tattoos — are just a part of life. They can be right, or they can be wrong.

So a Christian certainly can’t go out and get a tattoo or other body modification if it leads to sin, or stands for sin, but modification — mutilation even — is acceptable if it helps the person lead a righteous life. Sex might be another good example. The Bible is full of things that could make a person believe that sex is a bad thing — prostitution, lusting after others’ wives, and forms of masturbation are all mortal sins. However, reading other parts of the Bible it’s clear that God intended sex to be something wonderful — but He wanted it to be used in the right context (a loving marriage under God).

   “Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.
   Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense.
   How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices!
   Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.
   A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.
   A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.
   Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
   Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night.”

– The Song of Solomon

It’s all about context. That which might be a sin when used against God is a beautiful thing when used for Him — it’s why a Christian couple can have a fulfilling and guilt-free sex life that involves bondage, anal sex, oral sex, Cleveland steamers, or whatever else makes them happy — as long as it’s loving and sanctifies the marriage bed (so no Cleveland steamers with the neighbors when the wife’s out of town!).

To give a more extreme example, eunuchs (castrated or even penectomized men) were common throughout various cultures in Biblical times, and hence came to be included in the Bible and were even embraced by several sects. The Byzantine Church had numerous eunuchs in ruling positions, and the Christian Coptic Church embraced castration as a holy path. While relatively common between 300 A.D. and 1,100 A.D., it continued in eastern Europe until surprisingly recently. Matthew 18:8-9 warns,

“Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.”

Matthew 19 continues, warning against adultry and other sins of the flesh, and in verse 12 says,

“There be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

Even extreme body modification is permissable — if it’s done to serve God or to protect the individual from falling prey to sin or to God’s enemies. Of course, modern Christians on the whole believe this passage is “metaphorical”… but there’s certainly nothing that says that clearly, and if it’s metaphorical, how can one decide what else is as well? Many early Christian scholars such as Origen, considered one of the fathers of the faith, castrated themselves. A small number of patristic writers such as Tertullian actually referred to Jesus as a eunuch.

So what we see in the Bible is that Christianity has at best one highly vague ban on a specialized form of cutting, and then goes on to describe body piercing at length as normal, and even goes so far as to encourage extreme body modification when done for the sake of God. The New Testament contains one clear and overwhelming message: Love. Under Christian theology the whole point of God’s appearance on Earth as Jesus was to get rid of blind arbitrary rules, and replace them with a more fluid code of goodness.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do what I command you.”

– John 15: 12-14

I won’t get into it in this article in any depth, but the Bible also draws similar conclusions about ritual. In 1 Kings 18 and Mark 5 we hear descriptions of pagan sorcerers and priests performing rituals involving cuttings and bloodletting, but at the same time, Christian penitents and monks have been performing self-flagellation and even crucifixion in the name of their faith (Matthew 16:24) since the beginning — not a single early Christian church didn’t embrace these rituals and they are still popular in many areas such as Brasil and the Philippines. Again, it’s all a matter of what you’re using the tool to achieve.


Some Christians will warn others against involving themselves in tattooing or piercing because they perceive it as being sordid, using scripture such as Romans 12:17 to justify it,

“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.”

However, it should be clear from the “double standards” in the Bible that God doesn’t believe that one should censor oneself because someone else has used a tool for evil. You can wield a sword in God’s army, or you can wield in as knight in Satan’s service — your final resting place is not determined by the sword, but by the army you choose to serve in. When Paul says in Philippians 4:8,

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

he isn’t saying to think of things that appear to be true, or appear to be honest, or appear to be just, pure, or lovely — he’s giving clear message in clear terms: be a good person and put Jesus above all else.

If you want to be a good person with tattoos, God will still love you. The Christian who tells you otherwise isn’t hearing the message for some reason and may need your help far more than you need theirs.


Shannon Larratt
BMEzine.com

PS. I am not a Christian, but if you’d like to meet other Christians interested in body modification, you can click here to meet them in the new BME Personals (or place your own ad), and there are of course many more on IAM — a few are linked in the interview above.