Marked for Life [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

Posted on April 16, 2005 by BME

Marked for Life

“Jails and prisons are designed to break human beings, to convert the population into specimens in a zoo — obedient to our keepers, but dangerous to each other.”

– Angela Davis

Six federal prisons across Canada are planning on implementing a tattoo service for inmates (see last year’s article Go to prison, get a free tattoo) in hopes of decreasing the possibility of spreading infectious diseases like hepatitis C and HIV. Prison tattoo machines are usually built with motors from hair dryers, fans, or radios, along with ink from pens and regular sewing needles or guitar wires. While there are often steps taken to disinfect materials, sterility control is limited and diseases are still being spread. Finally, someone is doing something about it — and it’s caused a lot of controversy.

This new program, set up by Correctional Service Canada, is a six-year project costing approximately $3.7 million. The program is designed to provide safe tattooing procedures, costing the inmates five dollars for a two-hour tattooing session. Outside of jail, a two-hour tattoo

Tattoo done with a sharpened paper clip and an electric motor by a more-talented-than-most prison tattoo artist.

session can as much as five hundred dollars depending on the artist. Jails will set up programs to train inmates to be tattoo artists (if they weren’t already tattoo artists outside of prison) — and yes, tax dollars will be paying for it, at a cost of about $611,000 a year to Canadians.

In reality though, it’s not much compared to the costs of health care for HIV-positive people (about $150,000 in their lifetime), and if this program stops people from contracting HIV or hepatitis C, then it shouldn’t really matter that it costs a measly three million dollars — and saving Canadian taxpayers a great deal of money in the long run, and improving the lives of people after their prison experience, thereby increasing the chances of successful reintegration into society. Canoe.ca reports that, “for years, CSC reports have concluded that a greater percentage of people in the federal prison population have tested positive for AIDS antibodies or other serious blood diseases than in the general Canadian population.”

“An estimate of the cost to treat a person infected with hepatitis C is not available, but a study of the economic impact of hepatitis C in Canada is currently underway. It is known, however, that treatment with Rebetron, a drug commonly used for hepatitis C, may cost up to $30,000 per course of treatment for an infected individual. A liver transplant may cost up to $250,000.” (Health Canada)

You’d think with so much public awareness about these diseases, inmates (and most people in general) would be a lot more wary of cross-contamination. Sadly, the methods used in most jails to “sterilize” tattoo equipment are normally just boiling the components (if even that), which may kill a few germs, but certainly won’t fully protect people from disease.

* * *

There are members of BME who’ve done time and we were able to talk to a few of them (most asked to remain anonymous) about their prison tattoo experiences. Later we’ll also speak to a tattoo artist, Johann Florendo, who has done a lot of cover-up work on men who’ve gotten tattoos while in prison and regretted it.

Bill, who at age 24, did 17 months on a seven year sentence at Garden State Correctional Facility in New Jersey. When in prison, he decided not to be tattooed because of health reasons and a strong lack of quality work.

Jareb has done time at several prisons throughout New Hampshire and Massachusetts when he was 17. He’s got one tattoo from that time, and he was also a tattoo artist in jail.

“Bear” (IAM:Bear151556) served eight years in total, in three different stints when he was in his twenties at the Wisconsin Correctional System. He got his prison number and nickname tattooed on the inside of his wrist during his sentence.

Cam, a personal friend of mine (who isn’t involved with BME), spent a year and a half in an Alberta jail, and got one tattoo while there.

* * *

BME:	You three were tattooed in prison — and you all knew the health risks of getting a tattoo. I know that getting tattooed in prison isn’t just about the artwork — but more for the culture. How long were you in prison before deciding to get a tattoo, and why did you get it done?
CAM:	I waited about three months to get one done. They are in high demand, and I was low on the totem pole to get one. It was prison rules not to get one, as it was considered self mutilation, and it could get you in the hole for a week, and even longer for the artist. It can take time for the artist and their posse to trust you. Trust is earned in jail so I earned it and kept it. I got mine out of respect for some of the guys that watched my back: it proved my loyalty to them.
JAREB:	It wasn’t until my fourth bid, and I got it for safety.
BEAR:	I got mine because I wanted something permanent to remind myself of where my idiocy had delivered me. I waited until my third sentence, in the fourth year though.
BME:	Inmates don’t usually carry around cash, so there are different kinds of currency in prisons. Just from watching movies, I know you can barter cigarettes, drugs, and sex. In your experience, what did you see traded for a tattoo?
CAM:	A lot of times it would be cigarettes, drugs or favors, like running errands for them or just keeping your alliance and showing your respect.
JAREB:	Price was never much of an issue. You traded whatever you had. A lot of artists were just bored and needed something to do.
BME:	I picture tattoo artists in jail being held in high regard and viewed with great awe and admiration, sort of the “leader of the pack.” Is there any truth to that?
JAREB:	Generally you’re right — we were treated with more respect than anyone else.
BEAR:	They were looked at very highly, but only if they did good work. They weren’t looked at so well if they fucked someone up.
BME:	What were their tattoo machines like? What were they made with, and how did those supplies get into the prison?
CAM:	Proper tattoo ink was brought in either by guards, visitors, or inmates who had work furloughs. The machines on the other hand, were makeshift from blow dryer parts — usually for the motor, and a regular needle in conjunction with empty plastic casing from a Bic pen.
JAREB:	The machines were really shady — usually made from ballpoint pens and motors from cassette players. The “needles” were straightened paperclips or guitar strings. “Ink” was made from burning plastic chess pieces and collecting the ash soot. Pens and everything else were from the commissary.
BILL:	Some machines were made with various items, like pens with motorized parts taken from fans, radios, and other devices, but many used the “pluck” method of using ink with a single needle.
BEAR:	My cellmate had a professional unit. It had been smuggled in and he had kind of inherited it from a guy who got out. In my case, the supplies were smuggled in, but I have seen pen ink used. Improvised tattoo machine; electric motor, pen, and guitar wire.
BME:	None of those supplies seem that sterile, especially if they’re used over and over on different people — so I’m wondering — what steps were taken to keep things clean, if any? Where were the tattoos done?
CAM:	For me, there was nothing done to sterilize anything. I bled very badly and they used a very dirty needle on me. Tattoos were done in the artist’s cell, and always with a few people keeping watch, as not to get caught in the act.
BILL:	People would boil the equipment in water, and the tattoos would usually be done in the tattoo artist’s cell.
BEAR:	I worked in the kitchen, so I had access to a pressurized steam kettle which had to be cleaned daily using bleach water. I would take the needles to work with me and then while cleaning the kettle, I would just put the needles in. Then I would wrap them in napkins and sneak them back to our cell. Tattoos were either in the bathroom (I know, it’s scary), or our cell.
BME:	With these very basic supplies, tattoos would be fairly simple designs, right? I mean, how intricate can a tattoo be that’s been done with a guitar string and ink from a pen? What were some common tattoos done in jail?
CAM:	There was a lot of racial or affiliation tattoos or tough stuff like tear drops and other masculine items. My tattoo was pretty unusual as it’s not too “manly.” Cam’s tattoo, complete with a heart and rose.
JAREB:	Because of the supplies available, only black and grey work was done, so there were a lot of skulls, gang symbols, names, and spider webs on the elbows.
BILL:	It was the same in my case: I saw a lot of chains, names, teardrops, images of clocks, spider webs and gang symbols.
BEAR:	Actually for some reason, names were popular; you would think that cons would know better. Once in a while, there was some really nice fantasy work done.
BME:	All of those themes are very similar, more than I thought there would be — especially because all of you went to different jails in different states and provinces, but what do they all mean?
BILL:	There’s always your common “done time” pieces, like I said: chains, locks, clocks, hourglasses, and so on. Spider webs on the elbow used to signify that you took a life, but it’s now become fashionable and doesn’t necessarily mean that anymore. Teardrops either mean that you took a life, or lost someone close to you. Most gangs have there own specific symbols, which can also vary from which branch, hood, or part of the country or world they’re from. Bloods commonly use wolf prints, wolf heads, and other lupine symbols, as well as pentagrams. Crips use the Star of David, as well as a crescent moon, which is also commonly used by Five Percenters. The Latin Kings have a three pointed crown, and Aryans and Bikers use Nazi symbols. Then there’s the obvious symbols used by different Anglo groups, like Shamrocks for the Irish, and national flags for whatever the person’s background is. Memorials, portraits, and banners of loved ones are also very common.
BME:	So, let’s say that someone goes into jail who’s previously tattooed — all high quality work, and then they get tattooed in jail, and it turns out pretty badly. Are they given a lot of flack from other inmates about their standards?
BEAR:	That they are. If you have good work, and then get some crap, then people give you shit about it. Most people who have tattoos going in are kind of snobbish about jailhouse work.
BME:	Bear, you’ve been in several different jails — did you see much diversity in the tattoo culture between those jails?
BEAR:	In my incarcerations, I did not see a big change from prison to prison unless you are talking about gang related work. With the gang tattoos, if the gang represented was not strong in a particular prison, then the tattoos were downplayed and not on display as much, for obvious reasons. The one other change that I experienced was that as you worked your way down from maximum to medium and then onto minimum security, the quality of the work seemed to go down. I credit this to the fact that when you’re in maximum and someone messes you up in a permanent way, you have less to lose, and are more willing to seek revenge with physical retribution.
BME:	There are lots of people who come out of jail with swastikas and gang symbols that they eventually regret. They may regret them because the symbols don’t have any meaning outside of jail, because it reminds them of a bad time in their life, because they have changed so much and can’t relate to the person they were inside of jail, or just because the tattoo is of such poor quality. Do you regret getting your tattoo?
CAM:	No, not at all.
BEAR:	No, I do not. In fact, I am going to have it redone as it has faded somewhat.
BME:	Some men go into jail and come out without getting a tattoo, and there are other men who come out with lots of tattoos. If you were in jail for any longer, would you have gotten more?
CAM:	No. I got mine and that was enough. Again, I got it to show my respect to the people who watched my back — I can’t express how much the culture in jail revolves around trust and your word. It’s really all you’ve got. I got one outside of jail as well, but the experience was nothing like it was in jail, not only the procedure, but there were no politics involved with that one.
JAREB:	Yes, I would have.
BEAR:	Probably not, as I had already begun to collect cartoon characters and I did not want to ruin the theme. Besides, even with what we were doing for sterilization, it was dangerous.
	A tattoo born in prison.
BME:	Did your tattoo provide any safety against violence?
JAREB:	Yes and no. It showed the crew that I rolled with, and that comes with both safety and danger — it all depends on the politics of the gangs at the time.
BEAR:	No, it did not. Being six feet tall and 275 pounds did, I guess. And the old saying holds true: “Convicts do time, an inmate’s time does them.” If you don’t fuck with people, people don’t fuck with you. Usually.
BME:	Guards have enough to worry about — with violence and keeping everyone in check. Was it a priority for them to try to stop inmates from getting tattooed?
CAM:	It depended on the guard. If we were caught, we’d get time in the hole, and then time in the infirmary to have the damaged tissue removed.
JAREB:	The guards generally did nothing. Once in a while there’d be a raid and machines would be taken, but new ones would be made that same day.
	These tattoos were created by a single-needle machine in a prison in Michigan.
BME:	So, it’s been a while since you’ve gotten out of prison, but you still have your tattoo there to remind you of that time in your life. Bear, what do you think of your tattoo now (especially because your personality has changed so much)?
BEAR:	I used to be a very sick, racist asshole who was completely intolerant of anything or anyone different. It doesn’t make much sense because I am different than other people. One day, I just realized that fact and everything changed. While my tattoos remind me of a really crappy time in my life, they do show me where I was then and how much I’ve changed, and I like them for that.
BME:	As you may have heard, Canada is planning on implementing a “tattoo service,” which allows inmates to receive cheap and sterile tattoos. What do you think of this program? Do you think more inmates will get tattoos because of it? Have you known anyone to get hepatitis C or other illness from getting a tattoo?
CAM:	Cheap and sanitary tattoos are a good idea, but it may take away from that culture in jail. Earning a tattoo or being branded is important to inmates. Maybe they should start a program and let the inmates govern it, as the more they take from them, the worse things can get. I don’t know anyone who has gotten sick from it, but I’m sure it happens a lot — most probably wouldn’t discuss it.
JAREB:	I think more programs like this need to be implemented. Tattooing is never going to stop, and the health risks are too great. Maybe more inmates will get tattooed, maybe not, you can never really tell. I have known a lot of people to get really sick, and yes, get hep. It’s not nice to witness people getting sick from diseases that are not being treated because of where they are. I think it is hard for people who have never been in jail to make rules for what should happen in jail. How can you tell someone to live a certain way if you yourself are never going to have to live it?
BEAR:	I think it is a very good idea. Prison should be about rehabilitation, not retribution. Part of being rehabilitated is improving your self image, and tattoos do that. I do think that more inmates will get tattoos, which is a shame since most will probably do it for the wrong reasons, and they won’t think it through. Plus, I would imagine that the administration will not allow gang tats, so those will remain underground. And while I’ve heard a few horror stories, I do not know anyone personally who has gotten anything from a tattoo.
Johann Florendo (IAM: Johann) is an extremely talented tattoo artist, and has been in the business for six years. He’s currently working for Mean Street Tattoo Studio in New York City. He’s done a countless number of cover-up tattoos on men who’ve done time. I spoke to Johann about his experience with some of these men.
BME:	How many people have you worked on who’ve been in jail and are looking for cover-up tattoos?
JOHANN:	I can’t recount the many times I have seen and worked on tattoos that originated in jail. I have probably documented at least about thirty or so over the years which were worth photographing. I know for a fact I have done many more than that, I just never took a picture of them (probably because it wasn’t that much of a noteworthy tattoo that they wanted me to cover their tattoo with, or they wanted me to rework the jailhouse line work and I had very little input on the tattoo).
BME:	We’ve heard from these men in this interview that gang related tattoos and other prison-themed work is common. What kinds of tattoos have you seen that people are interested in getting covered up?
JOHANN:	It differs from individual to individual, but most people usually cover up old gang insignia, racist imagery, vulgar or offensive lettering, or just plain ugly tattoos. Sometimes, they want me to rework some of their tattoos that they received on the “inside” and sometimes it’s possible to make it totally new and “cleaned” up. Sometimes the work is so badly scarred or blown out that I would liken the process to “polishing a turd.”
BME:	What should people know who are looking for cover-up work? It must a difficult task sometimes because of the colour of the initial ink and poor quality of the tattoo.
JOHANN:	The general rule of thumb concerning cover-up work is that usually only darker colors mask dark colors; meaning that you can’t put yellow over black line work and expect it to “erase” the black and make it appear yellow. There are factors involved as well, like how old the tattoo that is that’s going to be covered up, for example. You’d have a better chance of success blasting some yellow over some old black line work that has had twenty years to fade, as opposed to black line work from two years ago. Of course, yellow over a grayish faded black ends up being a muddied mix when layered on top of each other, but with the right skill and technique, it can totally be applied in a tattoo correctly without looking like a mistake. So, with that in mind, darker imagery usually works best: panthers and eagles, and black tribal have been tried and true examples, although a lot of really talented folk out there can do a cover-up with much more lighter colors in the piece. A perfect example would be cover-ups by either THE GRIME or Guy Aitchison. Not to single those two out, as there are tons of talented artists out there, but those two stick out in my mind as masters of their craft and really do well in the cover up department.
BME:	Have you spoken to your customers about the specific reason behind wanting to cover up their tattoos?
JOHANN:	Some do it to rid themselves of a bad tattoo. They probably realized the difference in quality between different artists, as opposed to just having one choice of artist in jail. Others choose to cover it up so that they wont have to be haunted by reminders of their past.
BME:	Do they seem embarrassed about the work that they’ve gotten in jail?
JOHANN:	It’s a mixed bag. Some are regretful, and proceed to get a cover-up or get it lasered off, while others get tattooed around the jailhouse piece to remind themselves of their time inside.
	Before and after shots: cover-up work by Johann.
BME:	Has anyone mentioned what kind of feedback they’ve gotten from people in the “real world”?
JOHANN:	One particular guy I tattooed, I covered a jailhouse swastika on his leg. Once he got out of jail, he went the straight and narrow and successfully found a job and had a family. Years later, other parents saw his swastika on his leg when he took his daughter to school while he was dressed shorts. Whether or not the swastika symbolized anything negative or positive, he felt that he didn’t want to jeopardize his daughter’s upbringing by other’s cultural views placed on him.
BME:	*Did they mention why* they got the ink they got (like for protection and so on)?**
JOHANN:	Some said it was to pass the time, others said to show allegiance to their gang, whilst others found spirituality and wanted to show their devotion. For whatever reasons, there is some “intimidation” psychologically when one sees a tattooed inmate. It has been said that old sailors used to tattoo the face of Jesus on their backs to save themselves from lashings. Perhaps this mentality is still shared today?
BME:	What is the general quality of the tattoos you’ve seen born in prison?
JOHANN:	Where there is a will, there is a way. I never doubt the power of desire. A lot of talented people exist in all walks of life, including those who are incarcerated. Inasmuch as there are a lot of bad tattoos done in jail, there are also a few artists who are exceptional and do amazing work. Given the limitations (tattoos are usually illegal to do inside prisons and materials are scarce) and lack of color, I have seen beautiful work done with just a makeshift rotary machine and a single needle. I have to respect that determination.
	More cover-up work by Johann.

In addition to the health risks, there is the risk of social stigma after release from prison with the popularity of gang symbols and extremist racial views. While behind bars these are overall accepted and respected, once the person completes their sentence, they’ve got something on their bodies that they may not be so proud of any more. They’re “stuck” with a marking on their body that can really only remind them (and the people who see it) of one thing — doing time — and if they’re not proud of that, then there’s an expensive problem. Laser treatment is an option, but people can expect to pay hundreds of dollars per visit, and most need between six and twelve treatments. That’s a lot of money.

Lucky for people like Johann, there’s been a consistent flow of people coming into his studio looking for cover-up work. As far as hiding the work you’ve gotten done in prison, it’s probably the most economical method: a palm sized tattoo by Johann would cost about $150.00.

Overall I agree with the CSC program — I’m a strong believer in avoiding problems rather than attempting to fix them once they happen. Tattooing in jails is unavoidable and I don’t think a lot of the men in prisons necessarily care about the consequences of their actions — I mean, if they did, they likely wouldn’t be in jail in the first place, right? We, the people on the outside, may as well make it as safe for them as we can, if not for their sakes, for ours.

– Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice)

Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice) is a vagabond, though her roots run deep into Nova Scotian soil. She’s lived and worked on three continents since 2001, and has never lived anywhere for longer than eight months since the age of 16. She loves fonts, puns, being barefoot, and office supplies. Calm to her is the roar of the ocean.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. All cover-up images are © Johann Florendo.Images of tattooed arms are © Patrick Warnement. All other tattoo images are from the BME archives. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online April 16, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, BCS, Mexico.

Horizontal Tongue Piercings [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

Posted on April 4, 2005 by BME

EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT
HORIZONTAL TONGUE PIERCING

“Growing up, I always had said that I would NEVER get my tongue pierced. I had always seen those trailer trash people on Jerry Springer, you all know the kind, and almost every single one of them had a tongue piercing. Seeing all of these trashy people on Springer, I associated being trashy with tongue piercings. I was determined not to get my tongue pierced and look trashy like all of those people.”

- Ashleigh, Tongue Piercing with 20 People Watching

I love seeing people push their own personal boundaries. It’s great to see people do things without thinking of the consequences, or if they know about the consequences — they don’t really care. If anything, it usually makes for a good story afterwards. As long as there’s no chance of death, broken bones or paralysis, I’m all for people trying new things. Being in the body modification scene, I am a happy little voyeur and participant. I see all kinds of things that I wouldn’t necessarily try, but thanks to the internet, I learn something new every single day that I normally can’t learn through my daily activities.

Horizontal tongue piercings — yes, exactly what they sound like.
Most piercers consider these crippling and dangerous to the point of
being unviable piercings… But are they really impossible to keep?

Today’s lesson: people will put up with incredibly annoying piercings in trade for uniqueness. The specific one I’m talking about is the horizontal tongue piercing. It’s not very common, and probably for good reason. I’ve spoken to about a dozen different people who’ve gotten this piercing, and most of them complained about slurred speech (or at least a lisp), problems eating, biting down on the jewelry, a long healing period, and a lot of pain. The payoff? It looks really cool, and it’s a pretty unique piercing.

I chose to speak to four individuals in depth about their experiences with having a horizontal tongue piercing, and later a piercer that does them as well. If you just want the facts, scroll down to the bottom for a little FAQ on horizontal tongue piercings.

* * *

Piers de Burgh IAM:piersd, was nineteen when he got his done from Skin Graffiti in Swindon, England. He only kept the piercing for one or two weeks.

Pamela who no longer has this piercing, got it at Outer Body Experience in Castlegar, BC, Canada. She had the piercing for nine months.

Gregg Bennett from England, had a friend of his do it for him when he was nineteen.

Steve IAM:Cenobitez, holds the record for this interview, keeping the piercing for nearly eight years. He got pierced at White Dragon in Stockport, Manchester, England.

BME:

What gave you the idea to get a horizontal tongue piercing?

PIERS:

I love to get unique piercings, and I hadn’t seen it anywhere before so it seemed like a good idea at the time. Vertical tongue piercings also are known to be sexual aids, so I thought that a horizontal one might be quite interesting too. The vertical tongue piercing tends to be very standard and is widely accepted now, yet if you simply rotate it, it becomes so much more.

PAMELA:

Well, I’m kind of the odd duck… I’ve always been into body mods. I had my navel done twice but my body rejected it both times before it had even healed, so I wanted something that my body would actually allow. I found BME and started looking around, and was immediately drawn to the horizontal tongue — I had never even heard of it being done that way — but I waited probably a good six or seven months before I actually did it.

GREGG:

To be totally honest I was going through a stage in my life where I had to be better than everyone else. The only problem that’s created when your friend thinks he’s a professional piercer and you can buy needles down at your local Wildcat shop? You end up with some weird and wonderful piercings!

I’d actually only been into piercing for about three months — before that I vowed I would never get one, and disliked them immensely. But then I saw an eyebrow spiral, got one, and was hooked.

The vertical tongue piercing looked too boring, and a horizontal one seemed a good idea at the time. I’d been warned that you should never get a horizontal tongue piercing on a whim, so what do I go and do… I’m sure you can guess!

STEVE:

I already had a vertical tongue piercing, which was one of my first piercings, but I wanted something that was different and looked good. Then I saw a horizontal tongue piercing on a girl at Erotica, an adult industry trade show in London. After chatting to her I decided I wanted it done — I wanted something that I could say, “look what I got” because at the time, piercings were just starting to get popular. I have no spiritual or whatever reason… I just wanted it because it looked cool.

I searched the net and came up with a picture on BME. I took that with me to the piercer and when he eventually did it, he positioned mine as close to that picture as he could. I think mine’s pretty similar to his:

Steve’s Horizontal Tongue Piercing

BME:

What factors did you think about when considering getting it done?

STEVE:

I thought about how it might affect my job, the potential for damage to nerves in my tongue. What if it were to hit one of those huge veins? I was considering all kinds of things about the possible damage to my taste buds and motor functions in my tongue, as it’s pretty deep into the tissue. I thought about potential speech difficulties, heavy bleeding, and at the time I had heard some rumors about tongue piercing implications with cancer and stuff. There was also possible dental damage, so I had a lot of health issues to consider.

The final factor it rested on was work. Would I be able to speak properly enough to do my job as a night club promotions manager — where it was key to be able to talk and chat to customers, and deal with businesses.

PIERS:

Tell the truth, I didn’t really think about the consequences. This was during my early days of piercings and I didn’t really listen to the warnings of trained piercers.

PAMELA:

Rejection was a battle with my navel and I didn’t want that going on inside my mouth, and then there was my mother: what she would say when she found out I did it?

BME:

Had your piercer done this piercing before? What did they think about your request?

PIERS:

I found out later, that Venom, my piercer, actually was very talented, but at the time I didn’t really care how experienced she was — as long as she would do the piercing!

She wasn’t nervous at all — probably more excited than anything. She explained about how it would swell, especially since I was having two in the same session (both vertical and horizontal ones), and talked me through how horizontal tongue piercings have a high chance of hitting something, or not lasting due to discomfort, and so on.

GREGG:

My piercer had never done it before. Having your friends stick holes in you really isn’t the safest option in the world, but at the time he had his own piercing studio and had all the proper sterilized equipment.

STEVE:

I knew my piercer had no experience with this kind of piercing, but he has a portfolio that included a lot of stuff I’d never seen, and he said he was always learning new stuff. However, initially he said “NO!” point blank. I called every piercing studio within a hundred miles and couldn’t find anyone else.

After a few months and a few piercings later I mangaged to talk him into it and he explained it all to me: the risks, the dangers, the unlikely issues, as well as the remote issues that would probably never happen, but he told me it all.

BME:

Since piercers often yearn to do unusual work, did you have to pay for the piercing, or did they do it for free or at cost?

PIERS:

I had agreed on a special price with her… I think I paid 30 pounds for both piercings I got that day [between $50 and $60 US].

GREGG:

Mine was free.

STEVE:

I paid about ten pounds for mine [$20 US].

BME:

What was the jewelry were you pierced with?

GREGG:

At first I had a 1.6mm — 14ga — PTFE barbell with PTFE balls so I wouldn’t smash my teeth on them. I later changed it to a metal barbell with metal balls, at the same size.

STEVE:

Originally the plan was to use what we had available — a one inch long steel barbell. However, when I worked it out, I figured it wouldn’t be able to rest it in my mouth due to the immense length, so we settled on PTFE and small 4mm beads on the ends so that they wouldn’t be too obtrusive and sit nicely in my mouth.

They’re now so unobtrusive that they can slide inside my tongue — I should actually put bigger ones on to stop that, but I think if I do, the hole where the current ball goes will stretch and I don’t want that. Now I have a one inch PTFE in it right with 4mm stainless steel balls on the ends.

BME:

How was the piercing itself done, and what did it feel like?

PAMELA:

OH! It was horrible! I was crying and begged her to stop halfway through. She told me she couldn’t, and then shoved the needle the rest of the way through my tongue. That is why if you look at it close enough it is crooked.

GREGG:

We did the piercing in a garden… I know you may consider this dangerous or dirty, but I felt safer being under the bright blue sky than in some room that resembled a doctor’s office. I wouldn’t advise anyone to follow me in this — this is just personal preference, and I’m sure most piercers wouldn’t do it anyway.

We decided clamping my tongue and going as fast as possible seemed like a good idea at the time, although my view now has changed and I would’ve preferred going slowly freehand, as this would increase the chance of getting a good straight line through my tongue.

It felt rather unpleasant; the pain didn’t really abate from when the needle went in till the jewelry had taken its place. There’s a good twenty or thrirty seconds of pain in comparison with the mild discomfort of a tenth of a second that the average piercing gives you.

STEVE:

The week before doing the piercing we checked for veins and the likes with a torch (flashlight). The day of the piercing I got there with a few of my friends, waited a few minutes while he set everything up, and then he lead the way to the piercing room. I hopped up on the gurney and waited as he took a pair of large clamps out from the autoclave and dried them off.

He inspected my tongue again, and placed these clamps, made a few adjustments, and then locked them into place.

He sprayed Xylocaine on my tongue, and then asked me to take deep breaths — which I was already doing — and placed the needle against my tongue. He slowly started to push the needle through, with the odd stop and change in direction and stuff to make sure it was straight, and then a last push and he was through.

The pain was more of an intense burning, nothing like my normal tongue piercing. It felt like a small needle prick, then rapidly got hotter until it was stinging, and then felt more like it was burning as it went through. It felt like four or five minutes but I’m assured it was less than thirty seconds.

PIERS:

Mine hurt the most out of any other piercings I’ve had. It was closest to my medusa (top labret), just on sheer scale, rather than actually what it felt like.

GREGG:

Yeah, to say it hurt would be an understatement.

I looked straight up, watching the clouds roll by, and then a blinding sensation went through my whole face… Not unbearable, but certainly close to intolerable. I remember someone telling me to slow my breathing down or I’d hyperventilate.

BME:

How did you feel afterwards?

GREGG:

It looked great! I was so happy — I hugged everyone, washed my face, and did the best impression of someone with absolutely no use of their tongue… Worst lisp in history!

STEVE:

I washed my mouth out with ice cold water, and got a little relief. Then my piercer looked at it and said it looked damned good… I couldn’t talk or anything — I just mumbled and left his room and he told me to come back in a few days. As I walked out a few of my friends were waiting and they were like, “oh god I can’t believe you did that” and they were like “you’re mad” all the way to the pharmacy.

Pamela’s piercing not long before removal, and Gregg’s very fresh piercing.

BME:

Did you change the jewelry during the healing process?

PAMELA:

About a month later when I went to a shorter barbell, I think an inch or an inch and a half.

STEVE:

I just clipped a millimeter (or four) off the PTFE bar and rethreaded it as the swelling went “up” not down, so my tongue actually got narrower and I clipped the PTFE to match. Once the swelling was gone I had to get another PTFE bar to replace it as it had returned to being wider.

BME:

What was the healing like?

STEVE:

The healing was very much like my other tongue piercing, only it took maybe six times longer. It’s now healed and I can take the bar out easily and replace it. It can still act up if I catch it or anything like that, but overall, it’s fine.

The only real issue I had during healing was eating bread or bread-like food, as it got stuck on the balls and hurt like hell, and that’s still a problem sometimes, but I think I have unknowingly adapted to that one.

PIERS:

To be honest, the piercing was very embarrassing, as it gave me a really bad lisp and I found it incredibly hard to eat. I had a constant lisp the whole time I had it in. It restricted my tongue from moving to pronounce the correct sound. It was very frustrating after a while.

PAMELA:

Well, it took about five months until I no longer had an infection or a swollen tongue in the mornings… but I toughed it out, lisp and all.

BME:

You had the lisp the whole time?

PAMELA:

Yes, I had a lisp until I took it out… After I took it out, it was another five months, when the tongue was fully healed, before my speech was perfect.

STEVE:

My lisp stopped as soon as the tenderness and swelling went down. I had a few issues with talking, but it was mainly with shouting. I still have those problems, but it’s a small price to pay.

BME:

Was there a lot of swelling in comparison to a normal tongue piercing?

PIERS:

I had both of them done at the same time so I wouldn’t know, yet when my horizontal piercing was taken out the swelling completely disappeared in a few days, so it kind of lead me to believe that most of the swelling was from the horizontal one.

PAMELA:

Yes, it was hard to talk for the entire time I had it because of the swelling, and I didn’t eat anything solid for over two weeks.

GREGG:

In my case there was hardly any swelling at all.

BME:

What kind of aftercare did you give it? Did your piercer suggest something special?

PIERS:

I’ve always just used salt water — it seems to be the most effective thing for me.

STEVE:

My piercer always suggests one part Listerine to three parts water, mixed into a water bottle, and I am to rinse after each meal and snack, and first and last thing in the day.

BME:

Did your piercer warn you anything you’d have to look out for or be careful about?

PAMELA:

Actually, she didn’t. I only found out a month or so ago that the tongue is two muscles on the left and right side, and that it’s really bad for them to be pierced like that.

STEVE:

My piercer mentioned veins and nerves and other such things… one of the ones he was concerned about was the movement of my tongue — but I had thought about that beforehand and was pretty much determined to go through with it.

BME:

What’s the most annoying thing about having it?

PIERS:

The fact that I couldn’t smoke, eat, or talk properly.

PAMELA:

The lisp. I had a huge speech impediment. People who knew me well would always comment on it, but others that didn’t know me didn’t know if I had it before. I had problems with the healing on the right side of the tongue. I don’t know what happened there, but the barbell sunk into my tongue and in order for me to talk properly, the ball would have to be inside my tongue!

GREGG:

I had problems closing my mouth, eating, talking, chewing gum — pretty much anything orally.

STEVE:

The most annoying thing other than people always asking to see it, asking how long I’ve had it, and did it hurt — the usual things — is that it has a tendency to flare up over the slightest mistreatment.

BME:

On the other hand, what’s the best thing about it?

PIERS:

It looks amazing and it’s so rare. It’s getting very hard nowadays to get a piercing that is truly rare — don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that body modifications have become more widespread, but I just prefer having unique piercings and styles.

PAMELA:

I liked the fact that it showed my individual style, and that I do things for me and not for everyone else. The “Ahh cool”s were pretty sweet too!

GREGG:

It’s pushing your body beyond its normal state to create something you feel happier with — although this could be said for any piercing.

STEVE:

The best thing about this piercing is that it’s a defining piercing — when I attend IAM meets, and I do attend a lot of them, it’s the one piercing people identify me by, and I always get asked about it. Most people are surprised by the amount of time I have had it, and I have never met anyone else who has one or had one. I also love the shock value from the non-pierced folks at work!

GREGG:

You can’t really beat walking down the street with a bar going through the tip of your tongue (and peoples expressions)… Oh boy, did I get some expressions, from sheer horror to total respect and admiration.

BME:

Any problems with chipped teeth or other dental issues?

PIERS:

I only really thought about it after I bit down on one of the balls. Luckily no damage was done. I decided to move onto foods that only involved sucking or swallowing without chewing!

PAMELA:

I now have a big chip on my left front upper tooth that I want to get fixed soon. That is from when I would tighten the balls I would hold it there with my teeth.

I don’t think I had it long enough for major damage other than that one tooth chip to occur. For a while I used plastic balls, but they were internally threaded and would always break off. I got tired of that so I just went back to metal ones.

GREGG:

Not really. I am of that stupid breed of people who deem the piercing more important than the complications of the pierced party — however, my mind has since changed on the subject, and I would take a lot more into consideration over these sorts of factors so I didn’t do something I might later regret.

STEVE:

The only damage I got was when my bead came off while I was eating a hamburger, and I bit onto the bead and chipped one of my bicuspids. It’s a bit of a nuisance, but as it’s only a small chip, I don’t mind.

BME:

When you took it out, what were the factors in making the decision?

PIERS:

Piers’ piercing forces him
to consider a trip to the hospital.

I didn’t have a chance to rest the piercing. With my job I was constantly talking and shouting over the music in the club. One night I was working and I tasted a little blood in my mouth so I decided to go to the toilets and check it out. There was a slight bit of blood but I didn’t want to take any chances, so I went upstairs to the night club to pack up my camera and say goodbye to a mate on the bar. As I was trying to get out more and more people kept asking me to take their photos and dragging me further back into the club. By the time I got out it had started bleeding a bit heavier. I managed to stop it with pressure but a few days later while I was treating myself to a packet of smoky bacon crisps it started bleeding again, and quickly got worse and worse until I was spitting blood and some rather unpleasant blood clots.

Even though I was reluctant, I knew it was time to take it out. When I finally did, I was really bleeding, and I made a phone call to a mate for a round trip to the local Accident & Emergency ward, as I felt like I was going to pass out. Doctors don’t really appreciate self-inflicted wounds so I ended up stopping the bleeding myself in the toilets.

PAMELA:

My lisp was probably the biggest factor. Biting on the balls, and one side didn’t heal properly. It just wasn’t worth it.

GREGG:

I removed mine because it wasn’t straight enough, and because of discomfort and annoyance at not being to talk properly. I only kept it for three days.

BME:

Steve, why do you think you’ve had so much success with keeping this piercing?

STEVE:

The key for me has been give and take. If I take the time to look after my piercing, it’s fine, but if I get careless, it’s problematic. If I mistreat the piercing it will swell. The secret is: make some changes and learn to deal with it, or you’re going to have problems.

BME:

What advice would you have for others thinking about this piercing?

PIERS:

Go for it! But if it was anything like mine, be prepared to change what you eat, how you eat, and how you talk. Hardcore body modification!

GREGG:

Do what you think is best — don’t rush something like this though, as it’s not something you should dive into without careful consideration of the consequences.

STEVE:

Give it serious thought because there is the risk of dental damage, muscle damage, nerve and vein damage.

BME:

Do you consider this a viable piercing?

PIERS:

I know one girl with it in the area I live in, and she’s got pictures of it healed so why not? Just because it didn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t for you.

GREGG:

Perhaps in the future, but why take the risk of harming the way you speak? Your speech is the way other people can recognize the being that is you, and if you have nice teeth and can’t afford corrective dentistry, then why take the risk?

STEVE:

For me, absolutely. If for some reason this has to come out or starts to migrate I will remove it, heal it, and get it done again.

BME:

Was it all worth it?

PIERS:

It was definitely worth it. I still consider this to be a very beautiful tongue project. The only reason I took it out was because of the bleeding. To tell the truth, I don’t regret any of my piercings, but this is definitely a piercing that I would like to have again.

PAMELA:

Honestly, no, it’s not. The five months healing time alone was crazy on my part. Every morning I wanted to take it out, but I always wondered, “what if it’s so cool when it’s healed?”

Well, it was cool when it was healed, but then the lisp and all the other problems made it suck… but if the one side didn’t pull through I probably would have kept it!

GREGG:

If you’d have asked me this question two years ago I’d have told you it was all worth it and I was getting ready to have it repierced, but in hindsight, I don’t think it was worth it, but it depends on your mindset. Too many young people get a piercing to be different, and too many piercers do piercings like this to show they’re on the edge of their science. In the big scheme of things it isn’t worth it to damage other parts of you for the sake of being unique, although it just depends where you draw the line.

STEVE:

I have worked my way into two managerial jobs with two mainstream companies with my piercings and all. One of them is my main job in a night club called “Heaven and Hell” in Stockport. I am the first line of contact with the public and even with my piercings, I have the job, and I have worked my way up the ladder.

I would sacrifice my livelihood over it though, and I almost did when I went to claim unemployment — I refused to take it out and they could have refused my benefits but I showed them my resumé and proved I can and will get work.

It’s definitely worth it, purely because after nearly a decade of having it, it’s still a rare piercing, and not many people can say they have that these days!

* * *

Giving us the story from the other side of the needle is Matt Bruce (IAM: modsbymatt), an active piercer at Body Jewellery and Piercing in Victoria, British Columbia. He’s performed several horizontal tongue piercings, and turned away even more customers asking for it. He’s here to tell us, from a piercer’s point of view, some of the most important things to know about the piercing.

Matt, and a horizontal tongue piercing done on one of his customers.

BME:

What kind of cautions do you need to take that are different than a normal, vertical tongue piercing?

MATT:

I researched this one for a while, thinking I was missing something, but it seems that as long as the blood vessels taper off before the area you are piercing in, it tends to be hassle-free.

BME:

What kind of jewelry do you use, and why?

MATT:

I use PTFE barbells because they bend with the movements of the tongue itself. A stainless or titanium barbell will only get in the way while trying to talk and eat and such, and Tygon has to be changed too often. I prefer to use PTFE beads as well but if they want stainless, I just make sure the jewelry is short enough that the beads sit inside of the teeth.

BME:

Can you explain the process of making sure the customer is suitable for the piercing and of doing it?

MATT:

Like I said, as long as there are no obvious blood vessels in the area, that’s a good start. I find that if they fold up the tip of the tongue and at the fold there is an indent on either side than they have good anatomy for it, but that doesn’t mean they are good for the piercing.

Good oral hygiene and previous experience with piercing and oral piercing is a must, and then, based on all those variables, I decide from that point if I will do the procedure. If everything is a go, I make my entrance and exit marks and then brace the tongue with a piece of gauze in-between my thumb and first fingers. After everything is lined up, I push the needle through to the other mark and then follow through with the jewellery.

BME:

Do you warn the people about possible dental damage or other potential problems?

MATT:

Of course. As a professional piercer it is my obligation to inform people of any possible negative effect that any procedure could have on the client.

BME:

How much should customers expect eating, drinking, talking, and so on to be affected?

MATT:

They will find it awkward at first, the same as any other tongue piercing, but with PTFE it makes it very easy to adjust. Usually at the two week point they tend to be talking well and the distension is almost completely gone.

BME:

What advice would you have for others thinking about this piercing?

MATT:

Make sure you see examples of the piercing in the artist’s portfolio that you approach and I would say that if they recommend a metal barbell, then I would look somewhere else. Also, just because this or any piercing has been done does not mean it can be done on you. If someone turns you away because you do not suit the work you want don’t just keep looking till you find someone that will!

BME:

Do you consider this a generally viable piercing?

MATT:

That is a hard question to answer. For some, a navel piercing isn’t viable, for others a standard tongue piercing isn’t. I try and just go person-to-person with every procedure I do. If it is viable for that individual then I do it.

With a little bit of pain and persistence this piercing is possible. You’ll need an experienced piercer that understands not just the right to do the procedure, but understands why the piercing has to be this way. Otherwise you risk permanent humilation from not just a lisp but the diet of a level six vegan — nothing that hasn’t been put in a blender. It’s very rare for good reason, but still might be the right piercing to get if you understand the risks and want something unique. Try it if you dare, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Horizontal Tongue Piercing Mini-FAQ
BY SHANNON LARRATT

How is the piercing done? It’s a standard piercing, done with a needle and jewelry follow-through. Some piercers will clamp it but most will do it freehand.

How much does it hurt to get done? It hurts more and takes longer to perform than a normal tongue piercing but is bearable. Depending on your region, spray anestheia may be available.

What kind of jewelry should be used? PTFE (Teflon) or other flexible jewelry such as Tygon is ideal (although Tygon needs to be changed regularly). Metal barbells are not generally recommended, although they may in rare cases be possible in some placements. If possible, plastic beads should be used, and flattened beads can make the piercing additionally comfortable. Once the piercing has healed the jewelry should be shortened to sit snugly on the tongue.

How should the piercing be placed? The placement that puts the least restriction on the movement of the tongue should be used. Try and watch and feel how the tongue moves during speech and eating. Intersecting the points where the tongue bends is going to do the most damage to mobility (and thus speech and other actions). The area should be checked for blood vessels as well. Not everyone has anatomy which is suitable for this piercing.

Who can do this piercing for me? Any experienced piercer should be able to do this piercing.

How long does it take to heal? If the placement is good and proper jewelry is used, healing should take one to two months, with the swelling going down inside two weeks. However, if the placement is not good or the jewelry is inappropriate, the jewelry and motion of the tongue can cause continual damage to the wound (especially if you yell or otherwise stress your tongue) and extend healing time greatly.

What aftercare should I follow? Aftercare is basically the same as a normal tongue piercing. Take it easy for the first few weeks and rinse regularly with a saltwater solution. The most important thing is to do everything slowly for the first week or two and pay attention to your tongue when you’re eating and talking. If you pay attention and do things carefully and slowly you will greatly speed up the “relearning” process and aid the healing as well because you’ll put less stress on the piercing.

How much will talking, eating, and so on, be affected? How much these things are affected varies greatly from person to person and can be minimized by using recommended jewelry and placement. If you just put a bar through a “bend-point” of your tongue, let alone a metal one, you will have an intense lisp. However, if you use recommended jewelry and take care with the placement, the effects will be minimal and should not be much worse than a normal tongue piercing. Proper jewelry sizing is important and will reduce risk to teeth while eating, as will using plastic beads.

THE BIGGEST REASON THAT THIS PIERCING HAS A BAD REPUTATION IS BECAUSE FEW PIERCERS DO IT PROPERLY!

– Gillian Hyde
typealice

Gillian

Hyde (iam:typealice) is a vagabond, though her roots run deep into Nova Scotian soil. She’s lived and worked on three continents since 2001, and has never lived anywhere for longer than eight months since the age of 16. She loves fonts, puns, being barefoot, and office supplies. “Calm” to her is the roar of the ocean.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online April 4th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, Mexico.

Spreading the Word and Remembering Sailor Sid [Running The Gauntlet – By Jim Ward]

Posted on March 29, 2005 by BME

IX. Spreading the Word and Remembering Sailor Sid

A huge part of Gauntlet’s success was probably the result of the tireless effort I put into promoting, not just the business, but body piercing itself. Over the years I traveled regularly giving presentations to everything from S/M organizations to university human sexuality classes.

A lot of people take it for granted that they can go into almost any tattoo shop and get a body piercing. Believe it or not, that has not always been the case. To some of us it seemed self evident that tattooing and piercing go together like salt and pepper. But there was a time when many tattooists were outraged at such a suggestion. Having a personal interest in both and knowing many others who shared it, it seemed logical to me that the tattoo community was just waiting to embrace my efforts. It didn’t take long for me to find out otherwise.

Early in 1977 the International Tattoo Artist’s Association (ITAA) was having a convention in Reno. In an effort to reach out and spread the word amongst the tattooed, Doug suggested that I get a vendor booth there. I submitted the necessary forms and was accepted. This would be one of our first appearances in public.

Tattoo legend Cliff Raven (right) with an adoring admirer.

Tattoo Samy from Frankfort and his wife Ella.

Some of Samy’s tattoos and piercings.

A young Ed Hardy.

I made up an assortment of jewelry and gathered a selection of piercing equipment and set off with Eric and Doug for Reno. We were greeted by a number of familiar faces. Cliff Raven and his lover were in attendance as was our friend Tattoo Samy from Frankfort and his wife Ella. We also met Ed Hardy who was doing very extensive tattoo projects on a couple of members of the T&P group. Fakir was present and had been asked to provide entertainment at the banquet.

Jim, one of the people I pierced at the convention.

Karen after her nipple piercings.

Steve Richards, a young tattooist, volunteered to have his nipples pierced at a public demonstration.

Outwardly everyone was courteous and curious. During the course of the convention a number of people made arrangements to come to our room for private piercing appointments. Among them was the girlfriend of Dale Grande who had done tattooing with Cliff Raven when he had his shop in Chicago. I was even asked to do a nipple piercing demonstration on the floor of the vendor area. A good looking young tattooist named Steve Richards volunteered to be my subject.

The demonstration went well, and many people stopped by the Gauntlet table to ask questions. On the surface it appeared we were well received. But unknown to us there was trouble brewing. A number of the big name tattooists, among them Ed Hardy, were not pleased.

“Since Ed Hardy had brought the subject of piercings up at the I.T.A.A. Reno Convention in 1977 (he felt, as did the overwhelming majority of Artists there that piercing did not belong at a Tattoo convention and should not be linked to tattooing. I.T.A.A. Members voted there and then not to have piercing at future conventions) it was decided on (by the suggestion of Bob Shaw) not to allow facial tattoos or piercings at the National Tattoo Conventions. This was to be a Convention to promote Tattooing and only Tattooing.” (source)

Fortunately not all tattoo organizations were as hostile as ITAA and NTA, but the Reno convention was the first and last tattoo event that I recall Gauntlet ever vending at. For years to come the applications for at least some conventions carried a statement reading in effect that, “we will not rent vendor space for piercing or anything else that might give tattooing a bad name.” This is pretty much a direct quote. What I would love to have pointed out, but never did, was that bad tattooists were far more likely than we to give tattooing a bad name.

This attitude toward piercing persisted with some tattooists for a decade or so. Then in the late 1980s when the popularity of body piercing exploded, some savvy tattoo artists realized there was money to be made doing piercing. Almost overnight there was a huge shift in attitude, and tattooists around the world began setting up shop as piercers whether they were qualified or not.

The following April another tattoo convention was to take place in Texas. Although vending was no longer an option, Doug and I planned on going to hand out business cards and meet people and promote our favorite form of body adornment.

Plans were progressing well until shortly before we were to leaving for Texas. Doug approached me and said that after giving it some thought he felt it wasn’t worthwhile and that instead we should take a vacation to Key West and then go up to Fort Lauderdale and spend a few days with an outrageous piercing and tattooing enthusiast, Sailor Sid. I took him at his word and didn’t think anything further about the change of plans. Later it came out that the real reason for the diversion was that Doug had learned his youngest son Robert would be attending the Texas convention and that he wanted to avoid running into him.

We flew into Miami, rented a car and took to the road 160 miles south to Key West. I particularly remember the series of bridges that link the chain of small gulf islands with the mainland. We passed through Key Largo, an easily forgettable place whose name at least we’ll always remember thanks to Bogart and Bacall.

It’s funny how memory plays tricks on us. When I first started writing this article it seemed like Doug and I had made only one trip to Key West. But when I began looking through photos and examining the dates stamped on slide borders, I realized that we had actually made two trips to that sunny destination.

Doug and I enjoying a boat excursion on the Gulf of Mexico.

In truth much of the memory of this trip is pretty sketchy. I’ve no recollection whatsoever of the hotel where we stayed. I do recall doing many of the usual tourist things. We explored all the usual tourist traps on main street. I still have a hand made silver belt buckle we bought on this trip. We visited the home of Ernest Hemingway and lunched at some roadside shack on the beach where we ate stone crab — the first I’d ever tasted — simply prepared, fresh, and delicious. Doug also hired a boat for us to have an afternoon and sunset Gulf excursion. I still have the slides we took.

Doug had a personal connection to this Southeastern tip of the United States. He told me that the island might well have belonged to Cuba, but in 1821 an ancestor of his had purchased it thus making it part of the US.

“In 1815, Spain deeded the island to a loyal subject and St. Augustine native, Juan Pablo Salas. In 1819, all of Florida was ceded to the United States. Salas had made no improvements to the island of Key West and sold it to John Simonton, an American businessman, for $2,000. Simonton understood the potential of Cayo Hueso’s natural deep-water harbor and divided the island into four parts, selling three of them to fellow businessmen Whitehead, Fleming and Greene, and keeping one for himself. By this time, the island had been renamed Key West, probably as a result of an English language distortion of the original Spanish name.” (source)

Doug’s ancestor John Simonton.

One of the sites we took in was an old fort that had been turned into a museum. In one of its many rooms we came across a portrait of John Simonton.

After our Key West venture came to an end we loaded up the rental car and headed north to Fort Lauderdale to spend a few days with the self proclaimed “freak nut” who went by the name Sailor Sid Diller.

Sailor Sid in a photo I took of him in 1980.

To say that Sid was a character is putting it mildly. Generally speaking I think he was a kindly and good hearted person. He could be a source of endless humor although he had a tendency to repeat the same joke or bit of business often to the point of painful irritation. I found him to be genial for the most part, but after spending some extended periods of time with him, discovered he could be quick-tempered, irritable, and occasionally petty especially where money was concerned. From my perspective he was a difficult man to get to know and warm up to. The freakish side of his persona was always on display. It was a façade that was firmly in place, and he rarely allowed anyone to see the real person behind the mask.

Sid was in his late sixties when I first met him. He had been fascinated with tattoos from the time he was preadolescent. Sid had been a member of the Coast Guard which, during World War II, was a part of the Navy. It was in those war years, the early 1940s, that he got his first piercings — ear and frenum — and tattoos. If memory serves me correctly he became an electrician after leaving the service and settled down in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida where he retired.

Sid’s passions were tattooing, piercing, and very heavy S/M. He had managed to connect with a large number of other enthusiasts throughout the world and was a voracious correspondent, writing at length — on a typewriter, no less — about his experiences. Photos of his exploits and those of others were often included. No doubt BME enthusiasts would hardly find them shocking, but for their time these included some of the most extreme S/M I had ever seen documented, including extensive play piercing scenes and some involving opening the scrotum and exposing the testicles.

Doug piercing Sid’s ear.

Doug’s and my visit did not include any of these particular activities. Sid took us to a gay bar or two — pretty tame ones by LA standards. He also arranged a big piercing party at his home for various gay friends and fellow motorcycle club members so they could drop in and get pierced.

The piercing party in full swing.

Sid clowning.

At this point in history the Jim Ward name didn’t mean very much in piercing circles. Sid didn’t really know me, and his assumption seemed to be that Doug would be doing a lot of the piercing. Aside from acquiescing to Sid’s desire for a piercing or two from the hands of the “Master,” Doug very graciously sang my praises as his protégé and made it clear that I would be doing whatever piercing services were required.

Doug got his ear pierced as part of the festivities.

Doug giving Sid an apadravya.

The answer to the perennial question.

I pierced at least eight people that night, some having multiple piercings. Doug got into the spirit of the evening by letting me pierce his ear. Being as closeted as he was, it came as no surprise that he removed the jewelry by the time we returned to LA. Sid got his wish when Doug added another piercing to his ear and gave him an apadravya. The atmosphere was congenial and supportive, and everyone seemed to leave on an endorphin high.

During our visit Doug and I also met a kinky straight friend of Sid’s named John. My impression was that John enjoyed cross-dressing or at least expressing the feminine side of his nature. Both legs were tattooed with lace stockings made up of hundreds of tiny spiders. His toenails were painted. In many of his piercings he wore jewelry of a decidedly feminine character. John was probably the first man I ever encountered who had split the head of his penis. It wasn’t difficult to understand why he and Sid were friends.

Sid’s kinky straight friend John,
perhaps the first man I ever met with a split penis head.

Our stay in Ft. Lauderdale was pleasant, and we returned to LA having made many new piercing friends.

A closeup of Sid’s genital piercings taken during my 1980 visit.

I visited Sid again in 1980 to interview and photograph him for PFIQ. That interview appeared in issue #10. I’ve never considered my skills as a photographer to be particularly outstanding, but I have to say the pictures I took of Sid are among the best I’ve ever done. He was relaxed and open and never camera shy. The photos I took that day always remind me of one of the most unforgettable characters it’s been my privilege to know.

Sid kept two collections of personal papers that I know of: the correspondence and photographs he’d accumulated over the years relating to tattooing and piercing. When he died May 24, 1990 — age 80 if my calculations are correct — he had already made provisions for his collections to go to people he trusted. I believe he left the tattoo papers to his good friend Jack Yount. I’ve no idea what happened to these after Jack’s death. The piercing collection Sid left to me. A few months after his death a couple of large, heavy boxes arrived for me at Gauntlet’s corporate office. In them were a number of three-ring binders filled with photos in plastic protectors, not to mention a large stack of correspondence. Not only were there many letters from his various and sundry friends, but oddly there were photocopies on thermal paper of many letters Sid had written to them.

For some time I pondered how best to preserve this unique collection and also make it accessible to interested individuals. I considered using some of the material in PFIQ, but since there were no photo releases, and I didn’t know most of the individuals pictured or how to contact them, I abandoned that idea.

As time went by my health became somewhat uncertain, and I was forced to face the fact that I might not have that many years to live. I was concerned about the future of the unique collection Sid had left in my care and felt the best thing I could do was to find a better home for it. Eventually I made the decision to donate it to the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago. It’s clear from their web site that the collection is still there. I’m assuming anyone interested in exploring this resource can make arrangements to view and study it.

Sid was one of a kind: a man who marched to a different drum and made no apologies for it. Despite any differences we might have had, I consider myself fortunate to have known him.

Jim Ward
http://www.gauntletenterprises.com/

IAM members click here to discuss this article.

Jim Ward is is one of the cofounders of body piercing as a public phenomena in his role both as owner of the original piercing studio Gauntlet and the original body modification magazine PFIQ, both long before BME staff had even entered highschool. He currently works as a designer in Calfornia where he lives with his partner.

Copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Requests to publish full, edited, or shortened versions must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published March 29th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC in La Paz, BCS, Mexico.

Taking it to the Next Level [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

Posted on March 25, 2005 by BME

Taking it to the Next Level

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”

–Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince

Not only accepting the fact that she’s severely scarred for the rest of her life, Montreal-based professional linguist, performer, and model Ella (IAM:ella) is celebrating it. And by celebrating it, I mean showing it off. And who can complain about a hot girl who shows off her body?

Up until several years ago though, Ella didn’t show off: She did everything to avoid people seeing the scars left by a pot of boiling water falling on top of her at age four. She wore long sleeved shirts the majority of the time until age eighteen, hoping that the questions and ridicule would stop if people couldn’t see that she was any different than them.

It worked the majority of time, and that made her happy until, during her teenage rebellion stage, she decided she was going to show the world what she really looked like, and the long sleeves disappeared.

Ella

Amina

Expecting an “OH MY GOD” reaction from everyone who came into contact with her, she was disappointed to find that very few people seemed to care. Her attempt at a “‘fuck you’ rebellion thing” seemed to go totally unnoticed.

There are events in our lives that can change our perception of ourselves, our lives, and the world. Ella’s paradigm shift was caused by someone — her then boyfriend — who not only accepted her physical differences, but found beauty in them. The point of view seemed contagious, and Ella’s attitude towards her scars changed. She too began to see them as beautiful; she started to see them as a good thing. Shortly after that, she began modelling.

Her ex-boyfriend was good friends with Jerome Abramovitch of Chapter9Photography, and they did several photo shoots together. Modelling proved to help her become even more comfortable with the way she looked, and soon she moved onto doing burlesque shows at a fetish club run by a friend of hers. She later progressed into television, where she was featured in seven out of thirteen episodes of Kink III, on the Showcase channel. Talk about celebrating your differences.

Amina Munster (IAM:Amina Munster), who I interviewed in February 2005, is planning on coming out with her secret to her SuicideGirls public within the next couple of months. As a child she nearly drowned, resulting in the loss of the fingertips on her right hand, a quarter of her right leg, and half of her right lung. Amina has done a fantastic job of hiding the fact that she is missing parts of her body in real life and online where she’s an active and popular SuicideGirl.

She’s soon ready to join Ella and celebrate the fact that her body is different than anyone else’s. In preparation for an A&E show called “Inked,” who decided to feature Amina on an episode, she had her prosthetic leg airbrushed to look tattooed. In the near future, Amina will show her online fans that she’s not who they thought she was by doing photo shoots that don’t hide her missing leg. She’s hoping for the best, of course, and expects even more positive feedback, much like the comments she got from the people of BME after the article featuring her was published.

The main difference between these two girls is that Ella considers what happened to her as a child as “body modification” whereas Amina does not. Another outcome of Ella’s paradigm shift was that she decided to highlight her scars with scarification: a testament to the fact that she loves how her body has been changed.

Ella
BME:	Although you’ve already written a full experience, would you like to tell the story of what happened to you one more time?
ELLA:	Sure. The March after I turned four years old, I was in the kitchen while my parents and grandmother were preparing supper. I wanted to help, and they foolishly allowed me to stir a pot on the stove. Through some sequence of events I’m a bit fuzzy on (I think I accidentally dipped my elbow in the pot and overbalanced when I jumped in reaction) I fell down, pulling the pot over on top of me. I ended up with third degree burns on one third of my skin surface and a couple of tiny patches of fourth degree. I spent about a month in the burn ward at the Hamilton General [in Ontario, Canada] during my initial healing, and then another several months at home wearing a pressure garment and undergoing physiotherapy.
BME:	Do you ever see the nurses or doctors who helped you with the rehabilitation process? If you were to see them now, what would you say to them?
ELLA:	I haven’t seen any of the medical staff who treated me in years, mostly because I live far away from where I was in the hospital. I’m not sure what I’d say to them; thank them of course, and perhaps ask them some questions about what my treatment actually entailed and why, as I was a bit too young to ask those questions at the time.
Ella several days after the accident, and the day she got out of the hospital.
BME:	What would you ask now, if you had the chance?
ELLA:	I’d probably ask them if my treatment was typical, and if there was anything that they would have done that they were unable to due to my size and age. Off the top of my head, I’d be interested to know how much was my life actually in danger, what drugs was I given, why did some of the skin grafts work and not others…stuff like that.
BME:	How did your parents deal with what happened to you?
ELLA:	It was difficult for them — they blamed themselves, and they were far more keenly aware of how much danger I was in than I was. They did their best, and tried to make sure they stayed positive for my sake.
BME:	Pretend that there’s a new magical medical breakthrough where they can instantly take away all your scars by zapping you with their new invention. Would you do it?
ELLA:	I doubt it. There are certain small areas I’d like to get repaired, that affect my mobility and the comfort level of clothes, but other than that I don’t think so. I wouldn’t be me.
BME:	If you did do it, how do you think you’d feel walking out of the hospital?
ELLA:	I’d feel like I wasn’t myself. At one time, something like that would have made me very happy, but not now.
Ella is now very happy with her transformed body.
BME:	Do you feel that being scarred makes you a stronger person? What parts of yourself do you feel would be missing if you didn’t have your scars anymore?
ELLA:	Yes, I think that living with the scars has probably made me something of a stronger person. Our culture is very beauty-obsessed, and doesn’t hold imperfections in very high esteem, and I indirectly get messages all the time that my scars are ‘bad’ in some way. They certainly mark me as having survived a very difficult, life-threatening experience, which is something to be proud of. My ex used to say that I was automatically the ‘biggest badass in the room’, and that has a bit of truth to it. As to what would be missing, I’m not really sure, but I’ve been scarred for the vast majority of my life — I definitely wouldn’t recognize myself at first if the scars disappeared one day. Just the idea feels very strange.
BME:	Are your scars really erogenous zones? That must be nice.
ELLA:	Ha ha, yes, they definitely can be. They are very sensitive, and process stimulation very differently from my regular skin. It’s still a bit of a novelty to have someone want to touch my scars in a sexual context, so that has something to do with it. On the flip side, any trauma (cut, piercing, brand) that intersects with a scar is far more painful for me, and many styles of suspension would be extremely difficult to attempt.
BME:	Are you planning on doing suspensions?
ELLA:	Definitely, though I’ll probably ease into it with a couple of pullings first. I was hoping to at least do a pulling last summer, but my immune system seemed a bit weak at the time so I decided to hold off until I was in better health.
BME:	Do you have a lot of people telling you that your scars aren’t body modification?
ELLA:	I have had some people tell me that, yes. When I first submitted an experience to BME, my first draft was rejected because I only talked about my accident and I was told that it ‘didn’t count.’
BME:	How’d you feel about that?
ELLA:	I was pissed off. I felt that the very people who I was counting on to understand my point of view had completely missed the point. If I hadn’t had other reasons for wanting a membership I probably would have given up on BME in disgust. Fortunately people seem to have come around somewhat in the intervening years.
Are her burns alone considered “body modification”?
BME:	What were the reasons behind your additional cuts and scars?
ELLA:	I started to see my scars as artistic, and as a kind of body modification, and I think that the scarifications around my old scars are a good way of visually communicating that feeling to others.
BME:	Was it a hard decision to make?
ELLA:	No, once I decided what I wanted it was very easy. I was a little afraid of the procedure, but I had no doubts about whether or not it was something I wanted.
BME:	Were you mostly just afraid of the pain involved?
ELLA:	I guess so. I didn’t have any real idea of what to expect, or how much it would hurt. The way that the procedure was described to me it sounded a lot more traumatic than it actually was. It was the first modification I’d had other than a couple of piercings, so I didn’t have much basis for comparison.
BME:	Your first modification to your scars was done by a friend of yours who used a Dremel tool to highlight some patterns within your scars. How was that experience? What did the Dremel feel like?
ELLA:	It was very easy, it felt like someone was drawing on my arm with a ballpoint pen. The actual scarification process was virtually painless, and it went quickly. My only regret is that it didn’t scar up very well, so it’s very difficult to see.
BME:	I’ve heard that Dremel scarifications can be a messy (bloody) procedure. Was yours?
ELLA:	Not particularly — I was expecting it to be but it wasn’t. The blood particles are very small, so it’s pretty messy in terms of being biohazardous, but in my case it was not messy at all in terms of visible residue.
BME:	Eventually, the Dremel scar faded… what made you decide to try other methods to enhance your scars?
ELLA:	I still wanted the scarification but nobody could see it. I didn’t think that more Dremelling would result in a much darker scar, so I thought I’d give a branding a shot and see if it resulted in a more clearly visible image.
Cutting by Lukas Zpira.
BME:	Are you happy with the results?
ELLA:	It’s a beautiful scar, but even the branding faded a lot — he didn’t really do it deep enough. A couple of years later I had a cutting done on my back which is much more visible. I might stick with cutting in the future.
BME:	Are the circles on your lower back just a design feature, or do those highlight some of your scars as well?
ELLA:	The circles are just decorative, as far as I know. Lukas felt that they made the image more balanced.
BME:	Do you ever go through stages of disliking your scars, or are you really just in love with them?
ELLA:	I like my scars a lot, these days: I’m generally ‘in love’ with them. I get annoyed by them occasionally when they restrict my movements or behavior in some way (I have to be extremely conscientious about sun protection, for example, and bras are utter torture).
BME:	What kinds of modelling have you done? Where have the photos been shown?
Ella the model.
ELLA:	I’ve done mostly artistic nude stuff, some fetish modelling, and a tiny bit of fashion work. Pictures of me have been shown in a few galleries, mostly in Montreal, a couple of small magazines, and of course on the Kink III TV series. There’s also a picture of me that will appear in Hans Neleman’s Body Transform book that he is producing in collaboration with Lukas Zpira. Oh, and on the internet. There are lots and lots and lots of pictures of me on the internet.
BME:	What kind of cabaret shows have you been in? What made you decide to do that?
ELLA:	I really, really enjoy performing, and cabaret is something I can do pretty well. I’ve done fetish shows, traditional burlesque shows, and lots of stuff in between.
BME:	Were you nervous for your first show? What was the audience like?
ELLA:	Oh, I was shitting myself. I’d done shows before, but this was the first time I’d ever produced something and performed it completely by myself. The audience was much bigger than I was expecting, which didn’t help matters! The response was pretty lukewarm, but it got the ball rolling.
BME:	What kinds of an act do you have? How long is it?
ELLA:	My show generally lasts between three and five minutes, depending on the music I use. I try and change it up every once in a while. I generally dance and do fireplay and fire retention using rubbing alcohol and special effects fire to make it look like I’m ‘setting myself on fire’. I once did a show where I sang, which was very scary. It went fairly well, though I was a bit off key!

BME:	What is Kink III, and how were you involved in it?
ELLA:	Kink III is a Canadian documentary television series, which was made for the cable channel Showcase. I was one of several subjects that was filmed in Montreal a couple of summers ago. Their researcher saw my website and approached me to be on the show.
BME:	What kinds of things were shown about you?
ELLA:	Whatever I could think up that they had permission to film. They showed me doing my laundry, doing a photo shoot, having a barbecue with my friends, going to a vernissage where pictures of me were exhibited, going to a tattoo convention, and doing a show. There were probably other things but I can’t think of them off hand.
BME:	Do you have any funny or amusing stories from your involvement?
ELLA:	They filmed me at the Montreal pride parade, and they did a little interview after the parade. This woman was sitting watching us, and after they had stopped the tape she lit into me, telling me how disgusting I was and how I ‘cut myself because I didn’t like myself’. I just flipped her off and walked away, because I don’t believe in fighting with morons, but the crew stayed behind and vociferously defended my honour, which I thought was very sweet.
BME:	If you could ask yourself one question, what would it be?
ELLA:	“What’s the most fucked up thing anyone’s ever said about your scars?” On two separate occasions, evangelical Christians have approached me and tried to tell me that if I had ‘enough faith in Jesus’ that my scars would miraculously disappear. Hilariously enough, the second time this happened the bloke was on crutches.
BME:	Have you had any feedback from people telling them that you changed their point of view on their own scars?
ELLA:	Yes, I’ve had a couple of people tell me stuff like that. It’s very flattering, and definitely makes it all worthwhile.
Ella today.

Kudos to Ella. Not only has she accepted what has happened to her, she’s dealing with it in the most positive light. It’s admirable to see someone whose strong body matches a strong mind. She’s a role model for other people who have gone through similar traumatic experiences, she shows people that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of the level of scarring or deformation that someone has. There’s a strong difference between simply accepting what your body looks like and actually falling in love with its changes. Intentional modifications or not, Ella’s body is beautiful.

Visit Ella at cicatrix.net or on BME’s community site as IAM:ella.

– Gillian Hyde

typealice

Gillian Hyde (iam:typealice) is a vagabond, though her roots run deep into Nova Scotian soil. She’s lived and worked on three continents since 2001, and has never lived anywhere for longer than eight months since the age of 16. She loves fonts, puns, being barefoot, and office supplies. “Calm” to her is the roar of the ocean.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Picture of Ella by Warren Baird. Front page picture of Amina taken by Steve Prue. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online March 25th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, Mexico.

Missing Parts [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

Posted on February 9, 2005 by BME

Missing Parts

“One sees clearly only with the heart.
Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince

When your physical appearance changes against your will, like scarring or losing a limb, is it considered body modification? I’m not just talking about accidentally slicing your finger open while cutting a watermelon, or burning your arm on a stove rack, but rather, severe circumstances like what happened to Ella Earp-Lynch (IAM:ella), who was burned by a pot of boiling water at age four, or to Amina Munster (IAM:Amina Munster) who had her leg amputated and the tips of her fingers fall off as a consequence of nearly drowning before the age of two.

Ella, who has scarring on nearly a third of her entire body, says that she absolutely considers what has happened to her as body modification. And why? “The disingenuous answer would be to say, ‘because my body is modified from the way it originally was, it’s different from the way it was at birth’.

Amina and Ella

But I can also say that I first started thinking of my scars as body modification when I began to see the beauty in them, and to feel that having them made me more, rather than less attractive.”

These women interpret their experiences in very different ways. Ella showcases her modifications, and even highlights them with Dremel and scalpel scarification and branding. This decision was easy for her, and began when her friend, “a scarificationist, mentioned that he thought that the small scar on my left shoulder looked like a bird, specifically, like a Chinese phoenix, and said that he would like to try and “bring it out” with a technique he had been experimenting with using a Dremel tool to
abrade the skin. This started me thinking, and I realized that herein lay the solution to my problem — I had always wanted further mods but had had a hard time figuring out how to incorporate tattoos with my extensive scars.”

“Another part of what I like about my current project (of modifying/outlining my existing scars and eventually mirroring their outlines on the other side of my body with more conventional scarifications) is that I feel it reflects my attitude towards my scars more accurately to the average person, and makes it easier for them to see what I see.”

Amina, on the other hand, hides her “modifications” both in real life and online, where she is an active and popular Suicide Girl.

She debuted on SuicideGirls.com in late December 2002, and she has never shown her missing leg or fingers in any of her photos. She’s fairly heavily tattooed, has a gold tooth and breast implants, all of which she considers mods, but does not consider her “missing parts” body modification. She believes that in order to classify something as body modification, it needs to be an intentional act.

Why the gray area? Intentional amputations happen, accidental amputations certainly happen more often — but when is it considered body modification? Is it simply in the eye of the beholder?

I decided to interview Amina to find out what it is exactly that stops her from classifying the accidental changes to her body as “body modification.”

Amina Munster
BME:	What happened to your leg and your fingers?
AMINA:	When I was seventeen month old I was left home with a babysitter because I had a fever. Instead of the babysitter watching over me and my five year old sister, she decided to call her friends and invite them over for a pool party. Believing that I could swim, I left the playroom, went outside, stacked up laundry baskets to climb over the pool gate and jumped in the spa that the babysitter had been heating up for her friends. The babysitter never found me, my next door neighbor heard my sister screaming at the spa. It was the neighbor who took me out of the water and called the paramedics. My leg was lost due to loss of circulation and oxygen. My right leg was amputated below the knee. My fingers were left to fall off by themselves. When I was sent home, the tips of my fingers were black and dead. The tips gradually fell off by themselves. Resulting from this accident I am missing a quarter of my right leg, the tips of all five fingers on my right hand and half of my right lung.
BME:	Did anything happen to the babysitter? Was she charged with any criminal acts?
AMINA:	My parent’s home owners insurance paid for the hospital bills and a hefty settlement. My parents decided not to sue anyone. When I turned eighteen, I was told by my parents that I had the option to sue anyone I wanted including my parents, the babysitter, the hospital, or the babysitter’s parents considering that she was seventeen at the time of the accident. I decided to not sue anyone; the accident happened so long ago, isn’t the expression let dead dogs lie?
Amina’s black fingertips before they eventually fell off, and her amputated leg.
BME:	Why did you become a Suicide Girl?
AMINA:	Honestly, I have loved models and modeling since I can remember. I grew up looking at the Varga girls and 50’s style pin ups. Suicide Girls was like a breath of fresh air to me. I thought that it was amazing to find a place where girls were considered beautiful and had piercings and tattoos. I became a Suicide Girl just to try something different and I will never regret it.
BME:	Why did you decide not to show your leg or your fingers in your photographs?
AMINA:	When I had originally applied to Suicide Girls years ago I decided to keep the leg, or lack there of, a secret. I felt that SG would not accept me to be a model if they knew I was an amputee. Throughout the years it has gotten difficult to keep coming up with creative ways to cover my prosthetic leg, however, I still have not been able to shoot the mermaid set that I have dreamt about.
BME:	Who takes your photos for SG?
AMINA:	Currently all of the sets that I have up on Suicide Girls were shot by a friend and Missy, the owner of SG. However, recently I was able to shoot two sets with Steve Prue, who I greatly adore.
BME:	Did your photographers try to convince you to show your leg?
AMINA:	I have worked with many photographers and I have never felt pressured to show my leg. I did recently take a series of photos displaying the temporary prosthetic leg, but that was at my request. I love this leg because you can see the insides, it looks bionic.
Her leg and fingers are always hidden in her pictures for Suicide Girls
BME:	Are you planning on showing the online public that you have amputations?
AMINA:	Right now I am wearing a temporary prosthetic leg. My other leg is currently getting airbrushed at the Hart and Huntington Tattoo studio in the Palms Hotel and Casino, they have an A&E show called “Inked” that covers the daily activities of the tattoo shop. My leg and I will be featured on that show. I honestly do not know what the artist is airbrushing on the leg other than a big Virgin Mary on the calf. After I have received the completed leg and have finished filming for ‘Inked’ I will be shooting a set for Suicide Girls exposing the airbrushed prosthesis. It will be the first time that it will be shown on Suicide Girls that I am an amputee. Should be interesting.
BME:	Is the airbrushing just for the photo shoot or will the paint stay on the leg permanently?
AMINA:	The leg is getting airbrushed to look like traditional tattoo work. The paint will permanently stay on the leg and I think I may mount it in a glass box when I am no longer able to wear it. I’ve had plans for many months now to expose the leg on Suicide Girls, I just thought it would be cool to show it looking tattooed. The artist and I both decided on traditional art work, very Sailor Jerry…but with no swallows or flames. I left the majority up to him.
BME:	Do you have any fears about the people’s reactions?
AMINA:	To tell you the truth, the general public on SG may not know about my prosthesis, but it is certainly not a secret. Rumors fly over that website all the time, people like to talk. Even many girls whom I consider to be good friends still feel the need to tell members or anyone interested in SG that I am an amputee. It is truly funny that when peoples own lives stop being interesting that they choose to talk about someone else. When it is finally shown to the SG community that I am an amputee, I really expect for most people to be shocked. I hope that it will show them that people with missing parts are beautiful too. I really don’t expect outrage, but I’m sure I will get the occasional ‘that’s gross’ comment. It’s very hard to offend me, as I’ve heard it all before.
BME:	So far, what has been the feedback on your presence on SG?
AMINA:	I have met many girls off of SG who are now some of my best friends. I even met one of my tattoo artists off of SG, he agreed to tattoo me in exchange for three of my baby prosthetics. Naturally I am considerably popular on Suicide Girls due to my many tattoos and the fact that I show my boobies. But I am unsure if that will all change when my amputations are exposed.
BME:	What brought you to BME?
AMINA:	A friend and fellow Suicide Girl, Twwly told me about BME, I checked it out and fell in love.
BME:	How long have you been tattooed?
AMINA:	My first tattoo, if I remember correctly, would have to be the Winnie the Pooh outline on the inside of my left ankle. This tattoo was done when I was 15 in my bedroom by my first boyfriend. Of course at such a young age we did not have a tattoo machine and instead used a safety pin. This tattoo has been left untouched all these years as a reminder of my first love. Since then I have been tattooed by many talented artists including Eric Maaske, Tim Kern, Tim Hendricks, Jim Miner and Chummy. I started getting real artwork by established artists when I was seventeen. I walked into Classic Tattoo in Fullerton, CA with my court papers proving that I was an emancipated teen and Eric Maaske agreed to work on me. My first tattoo on my arm was a pirate girl with a peg leg, some think it to be a self portrait.
BME:	Is it actually a self-portrait?
AMINA:	Technically it isn’t, but I did have her peg leg be on the right side to match mine.
Chest Piece by Tim Kern
BME:	Does being an amputee impact your decision to get tattoos? Do you have any tattoos relating to your amputations?
AMINA:	The only tattoo that I currently have directly relating to my amputations is the Pirate girl by Eric Maaske on my right arm. But I do have future plans for more. When I began getting tattoos on my arm I placed all of them on my left arm thinking that it would take attention away from the right side of my body. It would be a sham if I didn’t admit that. It worked, and when I shook hands with someone they would be so preoccupied with the tattoos covering my left arm that they wouldn’t notice the missing fingers on the hand that they were shaking. Since then I have moved on to tattoo my left arm and chest, and I am no longer trying to cover up my disability with tattoos. I have found that other people with ‘missing parts’ tried to do the same, so it is not uncommon.
BME:	Do you consider your amputations as “body modification” as they weren’t intentional?
AMINA:	Since my missing parts were not intentional I do not consider them ‘body modification.’ I think modification would have to do with the direct and intentional act of modifying something. Ha, I didn’t intentionally modify my leg, it just kind of fell off. I would, however, consider my white gold tooth as a modification. Although I did not intentionally knock it out, I did choose to replace it with white gold and not a replica of the latter, and unlike most people, I do consider my breast implants to be a modification.
BME:	How did you loose your tooth?
AMINA:	I blame losing that fucker on the leg. I have such bad balance. I was very intoxicated in San Francisco back in April of 2004 I drank some liquor that I will refer to as ‘the devil’ at the Budda Bar. As soon as last call hit, I traveled out onto the street and attempted to walk off of a curb. My attempt was ill fated. I fell flat on my face busting my lip and eye, and knocking out my front #10 tooth at the gum line.
BME:	Why did you choose to replace it with white gold?
AMINA:	The second that I was informed by three different dentists that the tooth replacement was going to set me back a whopping $3,000 bucks I knew that I wasn’t going to get a replica of what I had just knocked out. It turns out that if you knock out just one tooth at the gum line that you have no other alternative than to get a single dental implant, so I got the white gold as a treat to myself. Plus I find frontal gold teeth on men very, very sexy; I just don’t know more than one guy who has them. Bring on the men with gold teeth!
BME:	Any specific or unique reason why you wanted breast implants?
AMINA:	Not to be too blunt, but I love boobies and I love breast implants. Add that to the fact that I was as flat as a twelve year old boy. I got them June 4th of 1999, and still no regrets.
Unintentional vs the Intentional
BME:	What kind of feedback have you gotten from IAM members?
AMINA:	I have had nothing but pleasant encounters with fellow BME members. I do get a lot of questions about how I lost my leg and fingers, but that’s just natural curiosity. I guess I should have an explanation somewhere on my page, but I don’t want my missing parts to define who I am. I don’t want someone to visit my page and just see information about my leg, there is much more to me than that.
BME:	Do you find real life people more accepting than online people, or vice versa?
AMINA:	The only place that I have shown my prosthesis online is on BME. Since I usually wear pants and never have my leg exposed in real life, I do not really know what the general public’s reactions would be. Other than some people noticing that I may be limping a little one particular day, it is rare that any one would ever think that I have one leg. I have never had a problem finding lovers, most men just don’t care. Although I do have that ‘Deuce Bigelow’ fear of not telling a man beforehand that my leg is a prosthesis and then watching it fall off in his hands. Now that I think about it, my friends and I have played many jokes similar to that one on unsuspecting targets.
BME:	Why do you keep it a secret?
AMINA:	If you’ve done something for so many years it just becomes routine. I would be delusional if I ever thought that my lack of a right leg could ever be considered a secret. My story seems to be something that people like to tell at cocktail parties. More often than not, when I meet someone that knows anyone that I do, they already know of my amputations. I kept it a secret on Suicide Girls possibility to be accepted or just to be one of the girls. Instead of Amina the amputee, I am just Amina. I wear pants daily because it is simply less of a hassle. Although online I could write a story and paste it on my profile that will hinder repetitive questions, I cannot walk around daily with the story taped to my chest. I will be showing it soon on Suicide Girls because I can no longer remember any reason to keep it hidden. It is what I am and ultimately makes me who I am.
BME:	What do you think of people who intentionally amputate their fingers or other body parts?
AMINA:	I will not ever say that it is disgusting or gross or that I do not understand it. Since I was a child I have wanted to amputate one of my toes, not because I would like how it looks but for more aesthetic purposes. I’ve always hated that my toes touch, as everybody’s toes do. I just always figured that by eliminating that one toe between my middle toe and my pinkie toe that the problem would be resolved. So I myself have considered voluntary amputation. I’m sure most people do it for different reasons, like cutting the bad parts out or eliminating something you prefer to be without. I know someone that voluntarily amputated a body part and to this day I still do not know the reasons that person had. But it was their choice, not a common or accepted choice, but a choice that person is very happy with. If I had two legs would I prefer to have one amputated? No, never. I would never wish that upon someone who did not wish it upon themselves. Why? Simply because it is a hard existence. Not just because of the jokes, ridicule, stares or innocent questions, as that could not possibly be any less of a concern for me. But the physical technicalities are so hard and unending. I’ve had to learn to walk fourteen times in my life, my prosthesis cost up to $20,000, and if I decided to drop some weight for health reasons, I have to get another leg. The shape of the stump changes with every couple pounds I lose. Since May of 2002 I have lost twenty-one pounds. However, I have only had two legs in that time. Some days my leg will be black and blue from walking, some days I can’t walk. Sometimes I wish that I could walk for more than eight minutes without giving my leg a rest. My knee is half the size as my other knee due to atrophy, very similar to the Chinese women who wrap their feet, and my knee never had the chance to grow beyond a juvenile’s size. Sometimes I envision my bone growing through the end of my stump as it did twice when I was younger. Also, because I am currently without health insurance, and if it were not for my Prosthetist being a good friend of mine, I’m sure that right now I would be without a prosthesis. I have heard the saying “God only gives you what he thinks you can handle” many times. And if I believed in God I think I could find some peace in that.
*** * ***

Certainly, if I break a fingernail or get a bruise on my leg, I would not consider it body modification nor body art. I guess, ultimately, it’s up to the people who have unintentionally injured their bodies to classify any changes as “body modification” or not. Regardless of whether it’s by choice or accident, these girls’ bodies are different than what they’re supposed to be. Everything after that is left up to interpretation. Who really needs the labels anyway?

– Gillian Hyde
typealice

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Picture of Ella by Warren Baird. Front page picture of Amina taken by Steve Prue. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online February 9th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, Mexico.

The Lizardman goes to Am-Jam [The Lizardman]

Posted on January 13, 2005 by BME

The Lizardmangoes to Am-Jam

"I am having so much fun performing, I feel almost guilty. I think, my God, I hope no one comes and busts me for this."

– David Crosby

When I moved to Texas in late 2001, one of the fringe benefits I was greatly looking forward to was no longer having to shovel snow or de-ice my car. Why is it then that every January when NY is doing its best imitation of an icebox have I since traveled up north, back into the snow and cold?

To be part of the Am-Jam Tattoo Expo.

My connection with Am-Jam goes back six years now. It began in 1998 when an announcement for the upcoming 1999 edition of event was posted online in rec.arts.bodyart. At the time I was a regular reader and contributor to r.a.b. and having recently decided to get back into performance as a full time venture I contacted the poster – none other than then VP and now head poobah Jeannie aka “Mom”. Being so close to the actual date, things were pretty well locked down in terms of entertainment and budget but being that is was only a few miles from my apartment in Albany to the armory in Schenectady where the event was being held we struck a deal that I would come out and do a few things during the breaks in onstage activity and she would give myself and a friend or two passes into the show and some drinks. It wouldn’t be the first or last time I worked for free beer and good time.

I was accompanied out to the show by Scott, who has since gone on to become The Amazing Dr. Grift and an indispensable part of my show and business. Within moments of arriving we made fast friends with everyone there and Jeannie was soon calling us her “sons”. Throughout the day I would get onstage and do an act or two – a bed of nails, sew buttons to my arms, lift things with piercings, the blockhead, etc. It went incredibly well and the crowd loved it. This was also the source of one of my favorite all time crowd comments: “Man, that is fucked up!” The comment isn’t particularly notable in and of itself and I hear it a lot but when I heard it that day from a Hell’s Angel it meant a lot more. I was reaching people with a generally higher than average tolerance for the weird and unusual. We returned each day and did a little something every time – including a stint as the walkway for the leather fashion show with each model stepping on me on the bed of nails as they took the stage. In those three days we made lifelong friends and probably got overpaid in terms our drinking. Throughout the year we would do the same at other Am-Jam events. BME still contains galleries of some of the pictures I took, which also show a pre-implants and facial tattooing version of me:

Am-Jam would be a regular part of my schedule and integral part of the development of my show for the future.

Things continued on in much the same way for 2000, 2001, and 2002. These were years of great growth for myself and my show and every time we returned to Am-Jam it was like a homecoming and we did just a bit more. Am-Jam became the event where I brought media coverage to see me in action. Over the years I have been filmed and photographed there for numerous print publications including many industry magazines as well as German TV and print, National Geographic, and more. This year was no exception as I was joined and covered by a Hong Kong based magazine.

In 2003, I took on a new role – albeit briefly – as co-MC for the expo. This was also the year I met Spider Webb who was exhibiting a number of paintings and other pieces at the event. The meeting was fortuitous and resulted in not only a new friend but also a new tattoo as I became part of his “X” work by receiving an “x” tattoo under my eye. The experience I wrote for BME about the tattoo can be found here. That was the first and last year I would MC at the event and also the last year it would be held in Schenectady.

Liverpool, NY became the new home of the Am-Jam tattoo expo in 2004. And then, as before and as I am sure I will again I got in my car and drove from the warmth of Texas into the blizzards of western NY. The change of venue meant some very positive new things for the event. It was now partnered with a strong local radio station (105 The Dog) and there was a new hotel with much more space – and a full stage for competitions and performances. This was also the year that I would get my lips tattooed while there, by Miss Vicke. You can read about that here.

And that brings us to this year’s event.

The 2005 Am-Jam would be the first event in a two week run on the road for me and the show. I had hoped that we were well prepared for the trip north by our first gig of the year in Anchorage, Alaska a week prior but it was to no avail. New York proved to be colder than Alaska – by several degrees – during the time we were in each state respectively. Nonetheless, we made it through – mostly by staying indoors. We arrived on the Thursday evening prior to the event and said hello to all the family before getting some much needed rest after 30 in a rental car. Technically, it was split between two rental cars because around Cleveland our first car got a flat tire due a random chunk of metal in the road. As the show must go on, so must the car. We exchanged cars at the Cleveland airport and were back on our way.

A brief nap would be all we got before awaking to visit Scorch on the morning radio promo for the event. Before leaving for the radio station there was some local news to shoot for as well. I did an excellent job of disturbing the reporter and apparently the studio editor as my antics were mostly cut from the piece that ended up running throughout the day – still it did the job. We got back a bit before noon and had another nap before setting up the booth and opening up with the event at 6 PM on Friday night.

As might be expected for our sixth year, we had tons of familiar faces stop by and visit our booth. The snow held off for Friday but on Saturday we were effectively snowed in. It always snows during Am-Jam, but this just means you know where the party is and it’s not going to go anywhere. Saturday was also our performance day and we had a great time with equal response as always.

Sunday we made the decision to stay in the hotel through Monday which relieved of our usual need to pack up and rush goodbyes before getting on the road. We took things leisurely and enjoyed a successful show and weekend of business at the booth. That night, after shutting down it was a trip to the hot tub and strategizing for the upcoming bar show in Albany, NY and then another convention in Ohio.

There are always variables in life, especially that of a traveling performer, and sometimes the start of a new year can seem daunting but I feel assured that I can count on being at a lot more Am-Jams and every one sending me off better than the last into the rest of the year. My sincere thanks to the Am-Jam family and all friends old and new from the event that have helped make my show what it is.

Erik Sprague

because the world NEEDS freaks…

Former doctoral candidate and philosophy degree holder Erik Sprague, the Lizardman (iam), is known around the world for his amazing transformation from man to lizard as well as his modern sideshow performance art. Need I say more?

Copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC and Erik Sprague / The Lizardman. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published January 13th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC in La Paz, BCS, Mexico.

Can I touch you? [The Lizardman]

Posted on January 13, 2005 by BME

Can I touch you?

"The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment." />

– Warren Bennis

When I last took suggestions and then polled IAM members as to what annoying oft repeated question I should next address in a column I was more than a little surprised at the response:

“Can I touch you?“

My surprise was accompanied by a somewhat vexing block in terms of writing the column. This was exacerbated by a national tour and other concerns, but I did not simply walk away from the challenge. In fact, I regularly polled myself and some others as to the nature of this particular quandary.

I have touched upon the issue of touching before, notably in my column on confronting rudeness. However, that was primarily the case of unwanted contact and in particular, unexpected, unwanted contact. As we all probably know from experience, and perhaps are even guilty of ourselves, human beings are very tactile by nature. Touching may well be an instinctual response. We often find ourselves admonishing children to look with their eyes and not their hands but more than a few adults could use a refresher course on this subject. The sight of interesting and unusual modifications can often turn otherwise reasonable polite adults into children. A simple “can I look at your tattoos or piercings?” may be quickly followed by their grubby hands pawing away at you.

But what if they do ask (and wait for a response) to touch your tattoo, piercing, implant, or whatever? Now, it may be my paranoia acting up again but I think there is something potentially insidious at play here. Asking first is the polite thing to do but when refused it sets them up to play the victim and cast the modified person badly. How could you, the modified person, refuse such a polite request?

Actually, it’s quite simple. You don’t want to be touched. Touching someone is only rarely really appropriate behavior. Asking politely to do something inappropriate does not make it acceptable.

You might turn it around and ask them if you could touch them back, but this hardly amounts to anything unless every single modified person they ever meet does the same – even to the point of initiating the request. They will not know what it means to have strange people regularly trying to grab at them, and thus they will not appreciate the situation. They will go on thinking that it’s somehow different when there is body modification involved. The implication becomes one similar to the accusation of attention seeking. That people who modify their bodies are asking to be asked to be touched.

While not as desperately serious as saying a woman in a skimpy outfit wanted “it” after a rape, this is basically the same argument and it is as rampant as it is offensive and logically bankrupt. I only bring up such an abhorrent example as rape in hopes that it might be enough to wake some people up. Touching someone’s tattoo without consent is an assault; the constant requests to touch are harassment.

But of course, this is a foggy minefield to walk through since everyone has their own comfort level for physical contact and requests. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I often let people touch my tattoos, implants, and piercings. However, I reserve the right to refuse anyone at anytime regardless of past acceptance on my part.

The fact that enough people suggested and voted on this to make it the overwhelming choice for a column tells me that many people are not having trouble. My initial reaction was along the lines of, “well, at least they are asking instead of just grabbing,” but I see now that misses something.

Erik Sprague

because the world NEEDS freaks…

The Lizardman’s 2004 Year in Review [The Lizardman]

Posted on January 13, 2005 by BME

The Lizardman’s

2004 Year in Review

Let the egoism continue! Once again, here is a review of the past year from the perspective of The Lizardman. Now, I’m not trying to apologize for my shameless self-involvement but this time around I have tried to include some more general references of note as well. Enjoy the linkfest.

* * *

January

Some things never seem to change (substantially). When I was writing the 2003 version of this column a year ago I had a small stack of books and pc games I was working through surrounding me.

As I sit here doing this one, I have a similar Christmas booty in front of me. January 2004 saw me off to a good start on the year. Shannon was kind enough to make my IAM page more open to the general public. I began a series of sideshow personality interviews beginning with my good friend The Amazing Blazing Tyler Fyre. I was filmed by MTV and National Geographic. I got one of now favorite and most beloved gadgets – the Treo 600. And perhaps most notably from a performance body modification perspective I once again worked at the AMJAM Tattoo Expo during which I had my lips tattooed.

February

This was the month of the nipple piercing – thank you Miss Jackson! When I get to nipple on broadcast TV and a pierced nipple at that, I simply cannot contain myself. My feelings became expressed in a BME column, of course, and not surprisingly were far more enthusiastic than those of the popular press. February also saw this story on magnetic implants, a good month for modification. For my own mods I experimented with Kaos’s new silicone eyelets to stretch my septum. The results were positive except that after stretching with their eyelets I got my septum to a size where the only jewelry I could wear were the eyelets since non-squish-able jewelry over half an inch won’t fit up my nostril to be inserted into the piercing. Ultimately, I went back to a half inch for the jewelry options. Show wise, I made an appearance at Godsmack’s Grammy Party in LA, did a three day run in El Paso and Las Cruces (selling out and setting an attendance record for one of the rooms), and confirmed our spot on the Spring Jager Tour with Slipknot.

March

I moved to Texas but I didn’t escape the cold. March saw me drawn back up north for a small show at the bar in Albany where I used to work (now under new management and ownership) and a trip to Stratton, VT for the US Snowboard Open as an award presenter for Sobe. I also made a trip out to San Francisco to appear on Unscrewed. Back home in Austin, my wife became one of the new Satan’s Cheerleaders.

At the end of the month I left for the Spring Jagermeister Music Tour but not before getting
my fingertips tattooed.

April

All of this month and half of May were spent on the road as the host of the Jagermeister Music Tour. This was one of the best tours I have ever had the honor of being part of and stands out as one of the great experiences of my life.

May

After returning from tour I took easy for a couple weeks before heading up to Detroit for the Inkslinger’s Convention. More noteworthy for the month were the ocular modifications appearing on BME like the stories on eyelid piercing and eye implants.

June

Ronald Reagan died this month; my feelings about him are pretty well summed up in the Ramones’ song: Bonzo goes to Bitburg. It was good month for promotion. A number of TV shows I shot for were aired and I received the first shipment of Jagermeister sponsored gear: shot glasses & lighters. This was also the month that I celebrated my 32^nd birthday and got my ears tattooed.

July

Start of a month with BMEfest and its pretty much all downhill from there. That is, unless you are buying a house. This was the month that Meghan and I found and put in our offer on what would become our home.

August

Things got busy fast in August. Meghan and I closed on our new house, which meant moving. All the while I was spending 4 days or more a week in Dallas as a guest performer with the Brothers Grim Sideshow. I also went out to the Navajo Nation and performed at Window Rock fest. I believe I may have set a record this month, as well, when I pulled my car with my stretched earlobes for an audition tape – I didn’t get the part though, for being too extreme.

September

I continued to split my time for the first half of the month between Dallas at the sideshow and home in Austin. While home there was moving, unpacking, and renovations to be done. In Dallas we not only performed but also filmed with Discovery – a series of vignettes for a number of programs that should air in 2005. I also got a little tattoo work done. A short trip north was made for the Boston Tattoo Convention during which MTV finally decided to air our wedding (without letting us know).

October

The month for me began with a new round of debating and interviewing over tongue splitting legislation. This time it was in New York. It behooves us all to stay abreast of what is being done legislatively – even in states other than our own. I got a little more green fill done this month but the mod I remember most, if you want to call it that, was a serious ear cleaning. I had a sudden wax buildup that nearly deafened me and needed to be removed by a doctor. With the Fall Jagermeister Tour not starting till the end of the month I only had one show to do (Theo’s in Corpus Christi) and passed the rest of the time mostly relaxing at home and learning to program
pocketc.

November

Another national tour! We hit the road with Jagermeister once again. While on tour Meghan and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary.

December

I didn’t get back from the jager tour with Slayer till over half way through the month and then it was all holidays. While not much happened modification-wise for me personally, there was this story on BME about pierced eyeglasses and, of course, the ten year mark for BME.

* * *

There you have it. I promise some more substantive columns soon but for those looking for more year end nostalgia why not try here.

Erik Sprague

because the world NEEDS freaks…

Mothers with Mods [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

Posted on January 10, 2005 by BME

Mothers with Mods

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

– Frederick Douglas

The image of what a Mother is has drastically changed in the past fifty years. Many years ago, mothers only wore dresses, stayed home to rear the children and take care of their husbands. Then they began to get jobs, laws passed to allow women to get paid the same wage as men, women even started loving other women in public!

Monica Beyer (IAM:Orinda)

Now it’s commonplace for mothers to not have husbands, to never wear dresses… and some… some have tattoos! Piercings! The shame! How can they be good role models for their children? What a terrible disgrace! What has the world come to?

Obviously this point of view isn’t shared by everyone, but is still dominant in our society. Everyone who has visible modifications has probably, at some point, been discriminated against, or at least been stereotyped by someone unmodified. Is it worse for a pregnant woman who has visible modifications?

A social shift in what is acceptable and unacceptable is currently underway, and we’re never going to be able to please everyone. Modified mothers and fathers can be equally fit parents as someone without modifications; tattoos and piercings don’t automatically lower someone’s intelligence or make them abusive. Pregnant women or mothers toting around children have enough to worry about, the last thing they need is to justify their lifestyle to those who don’t understand.

Monica Beyer (IAM:Orinda), a successful entrepreneur who owns and operates SigningBaby.com and SigningBabyShop.com, has created a forum for members of IAM to discuss anything and everything they want to while pregnant. She initially started the forum because she couldn’t find anywhere else online where she really fit in. After two failed attempts (they just didn’t catch on) at the forum, she now has 141 members who actively participate in topics ranging from nipple piercings to circumcision to labor. It is a closed forum, so those of us who aren’t pregnant are not allowed to join in the conversation, however anyone who is pregnant is welcome to participate, but you will have to contact Monica in order to view the forum, of course.

Initially, the forums were public, but because of some unforeseen drama (one member used what was said in the forums against other members in order to tarnish their reputation and to ultimately hurt their feelings) and excessive posts by members who weren’t pregnant, Monica decided to make them private. She wanted to keep the forum a “safe place where people can feel free to talk about whatever they want to talk about.” She and other members didn’t think it was necessary to involve people who didn’t have anything worthwhile to contribute. It is a place for support, understanding and the ins and outs of becoming a mother.

Monica’s eggwarrior tattoos
Left one designed by Corbin (age 5), right by Dagan (age 8)

BME:	How long have you been with BME?
MONICA:	I started my original IAM page in February of 2001.
BME:	Can you briefly explain what SigningBaby.com is about?
MONICA:	Well, when Corbin (my middle child) was a young baby I saw a news report on television about a mom who signed with her child, and I wanted to learn more. I bought a book and started signing with him at eleven months, and a month later, when he started signing back, I was hooked. There was an unusual lack of information on the web about signing with babies so I decided to start a website about it. It has had tons of different looks but the goal has always been the same — to share basic information about baby sign language and showcase photos of signing babies (including mine)… At around the same time I quit my job in late 2003 I was approached by a company who offered to sell me their products at a discount and I would then be able to sell them online and make money by doing so. What a novel concept! The Signing Baby Shop started out with about two books and two videos and I had to learn “on the job” how to start a business, collect sales tax, get a merchant account, get my money out of the merchant account, and have great customer service. It’s been over a year now and I think that I’ve worked out all the kinks but there are always a few situations that come up that I’ve never had before.
BME:	Have your mods or your babies had more of an influence on the decision to start your forums? Or has it been a little of both?
MONICA:	The forums were inspired simply because I was pregnant.
BME:	What are some of the topics covered?
MONICA:	Anything and everything. Recent topics include: size of bellies, insurance issues, job loss, location of kicks, throwing up, veganism, La Leche League meetings. Other recent topics: circumcision, labor, prostaglandins in semen, artificial prostaglandins being made of pig semen, birth, nipple piercings, squirting breast milk, necessity of induction, c-sections, pelvic organ prolapse, epidurals, drug-free labor, recovery, stitches, and sex. Circumcision is an extremely hot topic. It never goes over well. You might be surprised to hear that quite a few parents in my forums feel that circumcision is not a problem. Many of us (me included) feel that it is an involuntary surgical body modification that should not be done on a non-consenting minor. But an alarmingly large number of parents feel that they should do it so their son “looks like dad” or so they won’t be embarrassed in the locker room. I never thought I would hear a person in this community saying something like that. After all, how concerned are we with “fitting in” with the rest of society?
BME:	Do you know of any medical professionals that take part in any of the conversations?
MONICA:	To my knowledge, none.
BME:	What is your favorite topic discussed on the forums?
MONICA:	I really like talking about myself. It’s true! The pregnancy forum of course is full of pregnant women and since I have been pregnant three times I enjoy sharing my experiences. I’m not sure if I will ever grow tired of telling my birth stories. It’s kind of like, “Wow, I did that, it hurt more than anything else I have ever experienced, and I lived, and I’m going to share the details.” I doubt that it is simply me that feels that way either. I think most pregnant women end their birth experience with a need to share it. Monica and Lauren
BME:	When pregnant, what was some of the feedback from friends, family and strangers about your modifications? Did people see you as being too immature to be a parent (opinions based strictly on their physical appearance)?
MONICA:	It is sometimes hard to read how people are reacting to you — I was 21 when I had my first baby and was condescended too often by people outside of my family, including medical personnel. Was it because of my age? My lack of a wedding ring? Or my tattoos? The more babies I had and the older I got and the more married I became, the more respect I seemed to garner, even though I was considerably more tattooed during my third pregnancy than my first. My mother had major issues with my getting tattooed at age eighteen. I’ll never forget visiting her at work (first pregnancy) wearing a sleeveless maternity top, and she was horrified that I was exposing tattoo work to her co-workers. I was embarrassed and humiliated. She never made judgments about parenting, but her feelings seemed to be very apparent and hurt me quite easily. This is also something I’ve seemed to outgrow — I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I no longer care or she’s grown used to them (after twelve years I should hope so). Now — I have had a recent experience with a medical professional that still makes me quite angry, and it’s not directly related to pregnancy or being a mom, but it is a result of having babies. I am having difficulties due to childbirth and I went to see a local physician. You realize that in an OB/GYN examination room you are pretty much naked and vulnerable and at the mercy of the person examining you. This woman walks in and starts feeling my tattooed skin, saying how fascinated she was with it and other meaningless nonsense, which was extremely irritating to me because I am undressed and need an answer. She proceeds to tell me that I will regret “all of this” when I am eighty and did I know how it would look then? Mostly the reactions I get are grounded in curiosity or surprise. I have had two epidurals and one spinal block. These are anesthesia given through the back and I have a large tattoo on that portion of my body. The first doctor didn’t say a thing (it was the spinal block and I had a c-section so it was a more serious situation). The second doctor, a man from India, immediately starting asking all sorts of questions. Keep in mind that the tattoo is of a Hindu god and I am in deep labor and I wanted the epidural quite badly and also I couldn’t say a damn thing because I was having back-to-back contractions. The man is asking, “So, did you get this done in California? What made you get this? Wow…” and I was not answering any of his questions. The third doctor was really pleasant and he made the typical medical joke that “I must not be afraid of needles so this shouldn’t be too bad.” In that case I was also in seriously hard labor and was spraying amniotic fluid out with each contraction so I wasn’t talking then either. Monica at 26 and 27 weeks
BME:	Is there anything you’d like to tell the people that scoff at you for being modified? Now’s your time to vent.
MONICA:	If you would have asked me this question ten years ago or even five years ago I would have been able to write volumes. I’m not sure if this is an attribute that comes with age or not but I no longer get negative comments on what work I have on my body. Stupid comments (stuff like “Hey, I like your tatties, look here at my asshole-baring Daffy Duck!”) are probably going to be omnipresent in my life, but I can’t remember the last time someone said something publicly negative about my body. I seem to get more respect now and I’m not totally sure why — is it my age, like I said, or is it the pack of kids I bring out with me? Also, I also have developed the ability to be far less offended when confronted with stupidity. I don’t feel the need to justify myself any more. I used to have a big spiel on my IAM page about being a college graduate and having a ‘professional’ job (I worked for a college for two years). I don’t any more. I do care what other people think to some extent but I don’t feel I have to prove my worth over and over again. My justification comes from my kids. They are the biggest reflection of me as a person.
BME:	What do you think is the general consensus about the new parent’s child growing up and wanting tattoos and piercings?
MONICA:	I will happily accompany my children at age eighteen to make sure that the tattoo studio they choose is a high-quality one with high-quality artists (an advantage I definitely didn’t have). Same goes for any piercings they might want. I will agree with whatever local laws dictate as long as my children have demonstrated personal cleanliness and I know they will give their piercing the attention it needs. IAM:Keebie meets Lauren at the KC Bowl Fest BME BBQ.
BME:	Do you think it’s possible that tattoos and piercings will go “out of style” by the time your children are adults, and they’re going to be embarrassed of the work you’ve gotten done to your body? If this happens, how will you deal with it?
MONICA:	I’m sure that my children will not always think I am 100% cool like they do now, regardless of if I was modified or not. I think most kids go through the “mom’s a dork” phase and refuse to be seen in public with her. My nine-year-old son was thrilled with my latest tattoo project (he thought it was a Pokemon) and I wonder how long he will be excited about things like that. I may be wrong and he may always think I am cool but perhaps not. I started getting modified before it was as popular as it is now (twelve years ago) and will continue to do so. And if the kids think I am a dummy or a freak of course there isn’t anything I can do about it. I don’t believe I will regret any of my tattoo work.
BME:	Has becoming a parent changed your point of view on mods?
MONICA:	I can’t say that it has. I still feel the need to get modified and I have so many plans to do so.
BME:	Do you feel that being modified makes you a stronger mother?
MONICA:	I think the lessons I learned as a youth (once I began getting modified at age eighteen) make me a stronger person in general. I learned that you cannot please everybody, that no matter what I personally do I will always be viewed a little bit differently, and I learned to take comments (rude or constructive) in stride. When you are a mother you are put on display almost instantly, and once your child goes to school you have others rating your parenting skills. It’s overwhelming. But having been through a period of time where I *was* treated differently for the way I looked definitely made me a stronger person.
BME:	How do modifications affect mothers in their post-partum state? Do you see a lot of people getting tattooed or pierced to make them feel better after having the baby?
MONICA:	I think that getting modified any time makes one feel so much better (for me that is true!), but when you spend nine months not getting tattooed or pierced it can be something you think about quite often and when you finally get something done you feel almost normal again, like you’ve regained your body. I had to interrupt my half-sleeve and was quite dissatisfied about that. But the first session out of my pregnancy was amazing.
BME:	Can you elaborate on why it felt amazing? Was it better than any other time you were tattooed?
MONICA:	I constantly crave getting tattooed, and abstaining for nine-plus months was a really intense period of time. It’s not all I thought about, of course, but I did have several dreams about getting worked on and when I was able to continue work on the interrupted project it was better than ever. For those nine months I felt incomplete (as far as tattoos go). During the other two pregnancies it was very different. I didn’t have a major tattoo project pending.
BME:	Do you think that the image of what a mother is has changed in the past fifty years?
MONICA:	I think the image and attitude of women in general has changed as well as the image of mothers. My grandmother was the typical woman and mother of the 50’s. She stayed at home with the children and waited on her husband. I stay at home with my children too but the situation is entirely different. I refuse to succumb to the “mothers are martyrs” attitude — that you must sacrifice everything for the good of your family. I’m not saying that I never sacrifice — I do it daily — but I refuse to give up the idea of me. I know there are those who would prefer for women to do it all regarding the home and the childcare, but husbands and partners are expected to pitch in more and more. When my husband brings up the point that I am a stay-at-home-mom and the house should be clean, I bring up the point that when I worked full-time I still had to do most of the housework and childcare. It’s been quite a challenge to change his way of thinking — his mother was also a waitress on his family — but we are slowly coming around. After all, it’s not just my home and children! I don’t think it is too much to expect a full-grown man to throw away his freaking dirty napkins or put his dishes in the dishwasher, or to bring the laundry up or down the stairs because I have a lifting restriction. Single moms are probably the most maligned group of parents. If a single dad (or married for that matter) goes to the grocery store to buy food and has his child with him, he is hailed as a goddamned hero, but take a single mother who is trying to better her situation by going to college or who works full-time and they can be treated like they are less than a mother. I have been one — I know how it is.
	Lauren, Corbin, and Dagan

It’s hard enough to deal with society on a day-to-day basis, but throw in morning sickness, weight gain and water retention and you may be dealing with a hormonal monster! Give the girl a break!

We are an ever-changing society, and the image of what a Mother is will likely be completely different by the time the children of the mothers of this generation start having babies. We’re constantly breaking ground — it’s a very exciting time to be having kids, and with the support from other modified mothers and fathers, it’s getting easier and easier.

– Gillian Hyde (iam:typealice)

Gillian Hyde is a Canadian writer with a passion for design, ocean, travel, and fonts. If you enjoyed this article, be sure to also read her journal, This Was My Gambia about five months spent teaching in The Gambia.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. A number of the photographs in this article are © 2004 Sam Lerner. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online January 10th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, Mexico.

Luvpain99: Well, it was quite a year [Guest Column]

Posted on January 8, 2005 by BME

WARNING: This interview contains graphic photos.

LuvPain99:
Well, it was quite a year.

“Practice yourself, for heaven’s sake, in little things; and thence proceed to greater.”
- Epictetus

Matthew A., a 28 year-old network administrator from Warren, MI goes by the handle Luvpain99 both on IAM and elsewhere. Matt lists his hobbies as “model trains and rockets, chatting online and programming.” Matthew is also a very staunch patriot, a born-again Christian, and involved in a long-term relationship.

A quick perusal of either Matthew’s journal, however, reveals some other, more “specialized” interests; his site on IAM in particular outlines a fascinating story of the journey Matthew undertook during the past year: over a period of twelve months, Matthew’s penis was subincised, his glans was split, a scarification project was began on the head of his penis, and three attempts were made to remove Matthew’s testicles, culminating in a successful bilateral orchiectomy (full castration) on April 9th, 2004.

The last attempt at self-castration resulted in a hospitalization, psychiatric commitment, and having to come out as both a homosexual male and a male desiring castration to his parents. He left a note in his apartment in case anything went wrong during the procedure so anyone finding him might have a better idea of what was motivating him.

Matthew epitomizes the “DIY” ethic (Do It Yourself) — although some might say a little recklessly. Aside from the last two operations to remove his testicles, Matthew completed all of these modifications himself, usually alone, with no assistance other than his own knowledge and boundless inner strength. While he still has struggles to face, Matthew is now a happy eunuch who maintains high visibility both on IAM and the Eunuch Archive.

In this interview we briefly cover what Matt’s been through this year — watch out for a full interview with him in one of BMEbooks’ next releases!

BME:

First, why do you perform such intense surgical mods on yourself?

MATTHEW: Well the reason I do most of my mods myself are many — I’m a little cheap, and I would love to become a piercer or practitioner down the road but I don’t like experimenting or messing up on others. I’d rather make a mistake on myself and learn from that than on someone else. Plus it is a feeling of accomplishment being able to do something on myself.

BME: I know you had some difficulties with the head split and castration attempt in particular, leading to Emergency Room admissions both times. How did you find the strength to keep going?

MATTHEW: Well castration was something I have wanted since I was thirteen and I finally knew I was ready and had to do it no matter what. It wasn’t easy — the failed self-attempt was a major setback. I ended up being psychiatrically committed. I knew I would do it again — I tried talking the doctor into finishing it up. I kept telling them I would do it again when I got out. In hindsight, after I completed the headsplit (with a cautery pen), if I had just laid down in bed I’d have been all right, but I was afraid of falling asleep still bleeding. I decided it was better to be safe than sorry and went to the ER for bleeding control.

When I attempted the castration though I was unable to control bleeding and had complications relating to scar tissue in my scrotum from prior experiments and play. Once I saw I would be unable to finish it myself, I tried to do enough damage to both testicles that the doctor treating me would have no choice but to complete the castration. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Later, I had a cutter perform the procedure on both my partner and I. His went off with no problems, but during mine only one testicle was removed as there was equipment failure during the procedure. Again, I was really frustrated. It seemed like I would never be able to achieve my goal.

BME: Why was castration such a big goal? Is it a turn-on?

MATTHEW: No — it never was a turn on. The goal was to solve what I considered a problem. I wanted to get rid of my sex drive.

BME: Why didn’t you want a sex drive? No offense, but you’re a young, physically healthy guy… why eliminate your sex drive?

MATTHEW: That’s a very difficult question to answer, and over the years there have been many different reasons for my wanting castration. I think that question is more suited for a book than an interview but I’ll try to do my best to summarize some of the key points for this interview.

To start out, castration has been a desire of mine since I was about thirteen years old. My memory is a little fuzzy about the exact time and order of events. I think I should probably give a little background about myself first before proceeding. First, I grew up in a very strong Christian Baptist family that was very active in the church and I went to a Christian school. I had a lot of health problems as a child — heart problems, asthma, allergies, hernias, and so on, so I was in and out of hospitals and doctors offices a lot until about third grade and had a high pain tolerance, as having blood drawn and other tests just didn’t bother me after the first few hundred times.

I believe what really started my interest in castration was realizing I was attracted to other guys — with my Christian upbringing I felt it was wrong at the time (I’m still unsure about it being right or wrong but that’s another story). It was around that time I started CBT (“cock and ball torture”) and using sewing pins to pierce my testicles as a form of atonement, but I soon found out I enjoyed it. I know at that time I wasn’t being sterile as I didn’t have the proper equipment, but I was playing it safe using 99% alcohol to clean a new needle and wipe the skin beforehand. I was very lucky then that I never got an infection or caught something. Being ashamed of being gay was probably my main reason for the longest time. However, that was no longer a reason when I finally did accomplish my goal.

The second reason I can think of would be “bad thoughts that hurt others”. The people that know me know that I’m a caring guy; one that likes to help others. I try to live by the Golden Rule — “do unto others as you would have them to do unto you” — I hate hurting someone intentionally or using them or taking advantage of them. This one is hard to explain but it deals with trying to get rid of urges to do things. I am very good at my controlling urges, but am always afraid of giving into them. I gave into some of those urges as a teen and still regret it today.

That was still a reason at the time of accomplishing my goal, and I’m very glad to say that accomplishing the goal of castration really did help with this issue.

The third reason I can think of is lowering and totally getting rid of my sex drive. I know that might sound strange to most, but for me I really didn’t get any pleasure out of masturbation or sex. I get pleasure from cuddling and being with someone, but not from sex. For me, getting off was just a release my body needed and not a pleasure. I think my body had two settings: normal and pain (with maybe a slight pleasurable sensation here and there). I just got tired of having to get off all the time and work hard at it for basically no enjoyment. I figured without a sex drive there would be no need to get off. That was a major reason for obtaining my goal. It has been seven months now since I have gotten off.

The fourth reason, which never really was a reason for me until after my castration, but many other people have used it as a reason for their castration, is being calmer. I’m not sure if it is just the castration or a combination of the medications I am on right now, but I’m definitely feeling a lot better… more at ease and at peace with myself and others.

The fifth and final reason I can think of, which wasn’t a primary reason, but something I had hoped for and managed to have come true is I was able to be castrated along with my partner. It has always been a dream of mine to have another partner that was a eunuch, as sex is not important to me. I really don’t know how to describe it other than it was awesome having my partner there when I was done, and being there for my partner when he was done. There is so much symbolism there that it is just unbelievable, at least to me, and how I look at things.

BME: So you’re happy with the castration now? Any downsides, or things you weren’t anticipating? I know you’re taking calcium supplements to prevent osteoporosis.

MATTHEW: I’ve hardly had any hot flashes — currently I’m trying to figure out what’s causing the severe headaches I’ve been having. I actually think it might actually be the calcium, which brings up a concern. I have no plans to undergo testosterone replacement — I like not having a sex drive too much to change that…

BME: There are weekly tablets now like Fosamax and Actonel you could investigate…

MATTHEW: I’ve only been off the calcium for a week, but with being sick lately with the flu it’s tough to tell exactly what’s causing the headaches.

BME: You mentioned growing up in a conservative Christian environment. I know your faith is very important to you — how does it affect your choice of modifications?

MATTHEW: My relationship with Jesus does affect mods as I do try and keep my mods positive and displaying my beliefs, as you can see from my tattoos!

BME: Was coming out to your parents, both in terms of your homosexuality and desire for castration, as hard as it sounds like it would be? I mean, under the circumstances, you were pretty much forced to do so, having just been hospitalized due to doing serious damage to your own testicles…

MATTHEW: Well, it was done in the hospital, and luckily I had written a letter stating what I had intended to do in case something happened. I just gave it to them to read.

BME: That had to be a load off your chest at the same time, too.

MATTHEW: Luckily they have been real supportive. They don’t understand everything but they care and are supportive of me.

BME: That’s really a fortunate (and rare) thing.

MATTHEW: Of course the big thing is, even with people outside my family, is people doesn’t understand my reason is more to be “sex-free” — everyone thinks it’s more of a desire to become a female.

BME: I know just from knowing you as well as I do that you don’t desire feminization; you just want to be a castrated male.

MATTHEW: Right now things are improving, but it is too soon to say how my situation will be as I’m still fighting for disability and other issues.

BME: Hopefully there will be fewer ER visits for mods gone wrong! Are you a supporter of doctors and other medical professionals offering these procedures, so people won’t have to continue relying on cutters or doing the job themselves?

MATTHEW: I’m a supporter of informed people having the right to choose if they want a doctor, cutter, or to do it themselves. That being said, I do think there should be a license for cutters so we can find qualified people into body mods able to do these things, and have access to more supplies than a normal person but not have to take tons of classes.

BME: Do you have plans for future modifications?

MATTHEW: I’ve got lots of ideas — I want full genital bifurcation and would like to fill my now empty scrotum with beads.

BME: Are you planning on doing those mods yourself as well?

MATTHEW: Yeah, I am!

BME: So no fear then?

MATTHEW: Well, I just learned suturing, and got a nice new tool this year that I haven’t tried out on myself yet, but I have tried it out on dead chicken and it works fine for cutting and such…

BME: I’m guessing that’s a hyfrecator? [A hyfercator is an electric cautery tool somewhat similar to an arc welder for flesh.]

MATTHEW: Yeah, it’s nice. Also, it doesn’t put out too much smoke like the battery powered cautery pens I’ve used in the past. I’ll see how that works for finishing the glans split and for the penis split hopefully.

BME: Whom do you admire as far as modifications go?

MATTHEW: IMG:moddick68 has done some awesome work, and IAM:subcision has a beautiful sub.

BME: So in your opinion, how was last year for you?

MATTHEW: It has been a trying year full of ups and downs. I’ve managed to survive it and when I get back on my feet again I’ll be ready to do more mods and support BME and the EA (the Eunuch Archive, located at eunuch.org).

BME: Were you glad when you found BME? Had you felt isolated before?

MATTHEW: BME and the EA both help me out a lot and showed me there were others like me. I used to think I was strange and only one like that.

BME: Are you still involved with the EA?

MATTHEW: Yeah, a little — I’m trying to get more involved again.

BME: So how would you sum up where you’re at during this point in your life?

MATTHEW: Hmmm… it’s hard to say. I’m just a normal behind-the-scenes guy that loves doing mods on himself, wants to become a piercer, wishes he could legally be a cutter, and loves helping others, BME and the EA…

BME: …and one of the strongest people I know!

MATTHEW: …and you should probably add “shy” to that… not shy shy, I just don’t talk much.

I’m sure in the coming year Matthew will continue, shy or not, to boldly make his mark in the body modification world…perhaps not with words (although this interview puts that notion to rest) but surely with scalpels, needles, hyfrecators and whatever else he can get his hands on!

Hopefully Matt will talk to us again and fill in the rest of his story, as we’ve only just scraped the surface with this introduction. Matt has been a regular contributor to BME and you can see many of his pictures both in BME/extreme’s castration and genital modifcation sections, and in his bonus gallery in BME/HARD.

– Chris Clark (iam:serpents)

Chris Clark is a 32 year old farmboy, journalist, and musician actively involved in heavy body modification and ritual. He is also a Parkinson’s Disease survivor (and thirver) and is currently writing Matthew’s biography for BME/Books.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BME.com LLC. Photos copyright © 2004 Matthew A. and LuvPain99.com. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online January 8th, 2005 by BME.com LLC from La Paz, Mexico.