Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Oct. 24, 2008)


[BMEzine.com] Oh hey look! It’s one of those newfangled editions of BME’s Big Question that all the movie stars are talking about! Let’s go read it immediately! Yeah, good idea! No, me first!

[io9.com] The ever-wonderful io9 has just posted a pretty comprehensive list of notable tattoos that have popped up in various science-fiction films and series over the years. To the right is a picture of Angelina Jolie from Wanted from their gallery, which I have included here because why the hell not.

[KTVO.com] Are you an adult of voting age in or around Kirksville, MO, who is planning on braving the booths on November 4? Well slap your mammy, because Dyed Hyde Tattoo and Body Piercing is offering “free” (plus $5 for equipment, allegedly) piercings to customers all day, provided they bring their identification, their voter registration card and an “I Voted” sticker!

“This is the most important election in history, as far as I’m concerned, and my idea to give free body piercings on election day is just to get voters out there, give them some incentive to get out there and vote,” said “Flash” [a shop staff member].

[…] He says Democrats and Republicans are welcome to take advantage of his offer.

So after you have navigated the mazes of imaginary 11-foot-tall black gangbangers from the planet Africa who want nothing more than to beat the piss out of you and carve you to pieces, reward yourself for having done your civic duty! Meghan McCain will be on hand, trying in vain to convince the shop owner to give her a free mustache tattoo on her finger.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Oct. 17, 2008)

No.

[Union Leader] The last time we checked in with Meghan McCain, the spunky daughter of the Republican presidential nominee, she was overheard mentioning that she wanted a new tattoo, but that she would wait until her father’s campaign for president was over. Thoughtful! But now the truth comes out — she’s waiting until after the election because she has issued an ultimatum to YOU, the voter!

If Sen. John McCain wins the presidency in a little more than three weeks, his daughter said she’ll tattoo “Live Free or Die” somewhere on her body.

Of course, he would have to win in New Hampshire, too, said Meghan McCain, who was in Nashua yesterday thanking volunteers at the McCain-Palin campaign office.

The tattoo, which would probably go on her wrist, would be her way of commemorating her father’s run for the presidency, she said. It was in New Hampshire that McCain revived his faltering presidential bid during the presidential primary in January.

“New Hampshire is so important to me and my family,” she said.

Earlier, McCain told a supporter that she would be “extremely depressed” if her dad loses in New Hampshire.

Sold. It’s up to you now, heroes: If you don’t vote McCain (especially you New Hampshire pinkos), you may as well say that you hate tattoos and that you don’t think anyone (ESPECIALLY FREE-SPIRITED YOUNG WOMEN, YOU SEXISTS) should suffer the indignity of getting one. The choice is yours.

[Macy Survey Site] Are you a man? Do you have a genital piercing? Do you love surveys? Well hot holy damn, are you ever in luck. Elayne Angel sends in this online survey being conducted by body art researcher Myrna Armstrong: http://www.macysurveysite.com/gpsurveys.htm. Armstrong has been publishing body modification-related articles in medical journals for a few years now and, says Elayne: “I believe she’s more interested in the information than in making judgments.”

[Chicago Sun Times] Ha ha, now this is a clever scam. North Sider Marcos Paiz posted a Craigslist ad offering Chicago-area tattoo artists a once in a lifetime deal: To tattoo him — get this — for free! Wait, wait, if you’re still reading this and haven’t rushed out the door to find this brave human canvas, here are the details:

“Essentially, I would really love to have my whole torso covered in tattoos,” said Paiz, a 29-year-old flight attendant from Lake View. “I think it would be good to have free art work.”

[…] He’s thinking some “greenery and flowers” down his back would be nice. But he’s open to an artist’s ideas — as long as they don’t include swastikas, Satanic symbols or “something totally crazy.”

And free would be nice, he figures.

The article then quotes Nick Colella, the owner of Chicago Tattoo Company, who gives some claptrap about this being a “disturbing trend fueling the rise of in-home and back-alley tattoo operations” and that the people who think this sort of thing is acceptable probably don’t know the first thing about sterilization or blood-borne pathogens and that you should “pay” for “high-quality work,” but get real. Paiz is a visionary, and God knows he’s got some valuable lessons to pass on. So with this in mind, I’m just throwing it out there, but if there are any chefs who would like to cook me a gourmet meal in exchange for the satisfaction of knowing you have bettered yourself and improved your craft, please e-mail me as soon as possible. It’s almost dinner time.

The Most Heavily Tattooed Mayor in America. (Probably.)

 

Ray Johnson and “Pixie” at a convention.

The people of Campo begged. They went to the home of their mayor, 46-year-old Ray Johnson, and pleaded with him — told him point blank, “You can’t quit. You’ve gotta keep going.” They distributed petitions and collected signatures, but Johnson was apprehensive. He’d beaten the incumbent mayor, Syd Kraier, a few years earlier, on the familiar political promise of bringing positive change to the community in the form of concerts and other activities. And, according to Johnson, progress was being made, but he still felt like he’d been doing his town a disservice, that he hadn’t been around enough.

Why? Because he’d been getting tattooed too much.

Campo, Colorado, is a town of about 400 people, divided down its center by U.S. Route 287. There are fewer than five businesses (including a small gas station, a bed-and-breakfast and a cafe), the nearest Walmart is 72 miles away and the closest major city is Amarillo, Texas, 140 miles south. But during his first tenure as mayor, Johnson was making the five-hour northbound trek to Colorado Springs to visit Maria at Glory Badges Tattoo, often missing up to three days of work a week in the process. “I wasn’t doing it justice here,” he admits.

Campo, CO. [Image source: Google Maps.]

 

Johnson had already had a number of tattoos at the time, but when his best friend was killed in a car accident, he started making his regular pilgrimages to Glory Badges to map out a body suit to be done, at least in part, in tribute. He opted for traditional Chinese and Japanese imagery, dragons and geisha girls, koi and cherry blossoms — dueling “good and evil” samurais crawling up each thigh. But it’s the phoenix rising up from the flames on the right side of his ribcage and the swan carrying a flower petal on the left that were done specifically with his friend in mind, chosen for the long-standing acknowledged and cherished meaning of the symbols. “And,” Johnson says, laughing, “I just think it looks awesome.”

In addition to a covered torso and fully inked thighs, Johnson’s also got a pair of hard-to-miss sleeves that may seem out of place on the mayor of a small and admittedly conservative town. He says, though, that he’s never been hassled by the townspeople — either they don’t know he’s heavily tattooed, or they do know and they don’t care enough to bother him about it. “I pretty much hide it,” he says. “Sometimes maybe not, if I’m with my buddies. Probably everybody knows, ‘cause I’ve heard some talk, but nobody really asks. I try to keep it hidden — I guess I’m a little conservative too.” But even when he is approached, the problems have been few. The principal of the town’s school caught a glimpse of his ink not long ago, and after a brief “Oh my gosh! I had no idea!” moment, laughed it off and went about his day. Things may move slowly in Campo, but apparently not slow enough for people to get worked up over a few tattoos.

It could also be, of course, that Johnson has been extremely effective as the town’s mayor. Campo, for the most part, is a farming and ranching town, surrounded by fields on all sides, and Johnson, through some connections he’s made at a music school in Lubbock, Texas, is in the process of organizing Campo’s first music festival, slated for next summer. It may seem like a small gesture for a mayor to make, but Johnson’s role is less formal than one may expect, and instead functions more as the community leader. The hierarchy still exists, but it’s less relevant than it may be other places.

In a town of 400, though, municipal jobs have some overlap: Johnson, as mayor, is also the Chief of Police — a department comprising only two full time officers. Crime tends not to be too much of a problem in such a small community, so when Johnson’s cops are forced into action, it’s usually to deal with motorists passing through Route 287 — and even then, they’re often limited to writing speeding tickets for cars shooting down the highway. Trivial? Maybe. But those speeding tickets, as Johnson explains in his sweet, slow drawl, are how Campo generates most of its income.

Being mayor of Campo, as it turns out, isn’t necessarily a full-time gig, but Johnson keeps busy. He’s still a cattle farmer — as his parents were before he was — and sells off his calves each year. More than just cattle, however, Johnson’s also got his car dealer’s license, and runs a car lot selling used vehicles at cost to others in the town. “There’s nothing I hate worse than going to buy a car,” he says. “You always leave and feel like, ‘Man, I got screwed.’” So Johnson hits the local auctions in surrounding areas, buys up cars as cheaply as possible, and then sells them at no profit, for no other reason than to help out his constituents and neighbors. “You get taken advantage of so much” in situations like that, he says, so why not cut out the middle man if he’s able? Johnson’s voice lights up when asked what he personally drives: “A 2000-model Chevy pick-up that I got for 1,500 bucks. And it’s nice. Really nice,” he says, impressed and chuckling. And aside than the car lot, and the farm, and the mayoral office, and the police force? He’s also building a cafe with a street patio — by hand. Building the wrought iron, installing the flagstone — and hopefully bringing a few new jobs to the town. What he’s not doing, however, is acting as the head of the Democratic Party for Baca County, the surrounding area of Campo, although he has held that position in the past as well. Johnson calls Campo “conservative,” but says that shouldn’t imply that it’s full of Republicans. “People are just old-fashioned here,” he says. “Politics doesn’t have much to do with it.” As far as the current presidential election is concerned, Johnson’s non-committal: “Oh my goodness, I don’t know. I don’t care for either one of them,” he says, laughing, referring to John McCain and Barack Obama.

And in many ways, traditional politics don’t matter quite as much in a place like Campo. As the mayor — traditionally, an inescapably politically charged job — Johnson sees himself as the person to listen to and act on the concerns of the townspeople, rather than dictating certain rules and a way of life. That is to say, in many ways, Johnson is the mayor that many others claim (and fail) to be. And now, having gone about as far with his tattoo work as he feels necessary, he feels comfortable in his position again; apparently, so do the people of Campo, who have made him their mayor for the last eight years and, in doing so, have elected quite possibly the country’s most heavily tattooed civic leader. At a recent tattoo convention in Denver, Johnson actually placed second in the “Overall Male” category for his body suit. “Should’ve gotten first!” he says in mock anger and with a rare raising of his voice. He’s silent for a second afterward, and seems to feel like even that joke, that split-second of false bravado, is in need of correction.

“But,” he adds — humbly, gracefully, earnestly — “there were a lot of people there.”

* * *
Please consider buying a membership to BME so we can continue bringing you articles like this one.



 

UPDATE: Experts Weigh In On Sarah Palin’s “Lipstick,” Nothing Determined Whatsoever

Ignoring for a moment that the economy is in the shitter and soon we’re all going to be raiding the shops of local tattoo artists to steal their bottles of ink in the hopes that some of them will contain much-needed iron for the weakened sinewy frames that used to be our bodies once all of the nation’s foodstuffs have been hoarded by roving gangs of lepers and vigilantes and such, let’s turn our focus back to a matter of much urgency: Is Sarah Palin’s lipstick tattooed on?

We’ve covered this story before, but the sexist liberal just plain terrible media has all-but neglected it. THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW, DAMN IT. Luckily, the heroes over at The Huffington Post have taken up the cause, offering up a thorough slideshow and even a poll to decide how to address this issue of national importance. Go vote now!

Ha ha, I’m just kidding, this is the biggest waste of time ever. While you were doing that, I was just at the general store filling a barrel full of soon-to-valuable-and-maybe-even-currency chicken stock. Ah, delicious chicken stock.

Is Sarah Palin’s Lipliner A Tattoo? [The Huffington Post]

Vote or Cry


Intrepid reader Jennifer sends in this scan of an ad from Seventeen magazine:

See, I’m conflicted about things like this. On the one hand, there are a lot of positive things to consider here: Encouraging young people to vote is undeniably noble; realistic-looking piercings in ads are rare; a crying woman is a huge turn-on.

On the other hand, I’M ON THE INTERNET AND EVERYTHING MAKES ME ANGRY AHHHHHH

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Sept. 22, 2008)

Photo credit: Peter Parsons / The Chronicle Herald staff

[The Chronicle Herald] As a rule, it’s probably best not to advocate tattoos as a means of winning a bet or a contest. Unless it’s a happy moment of serendipity in which a situation arises in which you were planning on getting a tattoo anyway — or, at least, that the situation inspires you to get a piece that you enjoy but may not have considered otherwise — the results will likely be dire. (I swear, that photo-realistic sleeve of Oprah horse-whipping the Pope in drag was for charity!) Luckily, JoAnn Harpell isn’t in the regretful camp: the Nova Scotia woman got a portrait of Elton John on her leg (right) in order to win a radio contest to see John in concert.

“The only thing I wouldn’t have done (to get a ticket) would be to go to a scalper,” Ms. Harpell said.

And she did try to get tickets when they first went on sale for the Halifax and Moncton concerts.

“I cried like a baby when I didn’t get them,” she said. “I was very upset.”

The serendipitous part is that Harpell was already moderately tattooed, and there are a few songs in Sir Elton’s catalogue that are incredibly meaningful for her — the lyrics of which were incorporated into the new piece. Sweet story, right? Surely the commenters visiting The Chronicle Herald’s Web site agree, right?

“I can’t believe that anyone would go to those extremes to see an entertainer plus with 14 tattoos she is lucky she has a husband. I think she needs to take some of her money and see a psychiatrist.”

“There are two things wrong with this story. First, that this woman will disfigure herself for a couple of tickets to see an aging pop star, and second, that C100 would sponsor such a thing. Unbelievable. Shows very bad judgement on both their parts. And the tattoo is very poorly done and looks nothing like Sir Elton. I felt really embarrassed for her, and really ticked off at C100 for their juvenile behaviour.”

“C100 is a crazy radio station and this woman’s behavior fits right in. Me thinks you need to get a life…… “

God damn it.

[NOLA.com] In the latest edition of Tattoos v. School Board, the St. John the Baptist Parish School Board in New Orleans is seeking to ban “visible lewd and gang-related tattoos,” which doesn’t actually sound the like worst idea ever. Sure, it’s problematic because terms like “lewd” and “gang-related” are certainly open to interpretation: Is a traditional pin-up girl “lewd”? Should a tattoo referencing one’s neighborhood qualify as “gang-related”? And as well, some may suggest that prohibiting tattoos of any kind is some sort of violation, constitutional or otherwise. But at the same time … it’s high school. Banning tattoos and piercings is silly, but, as with any venue that relies on a sense of decorum to maintain some semblance of order, I can’t quite disagree with measures that might cut down on idiotic gang violence. As long as it’s not a single figurehead making the decisions — a committee of peers, perhaps?

[NYPost.com] It seriously seems like there’s a tattoo-related story coming out of the Republican presidential campaign every other day, does it not? This is one is even more boring than usual, though. Meghan McCain was overheard talking to her editor about getting a new tattoo! She’s already got a blue star tattooed on her foot, and her editor has 11 tattoos of his own! McCain said she would wait, however, until after the election to get new work done, out of respect to her father, who, for five-and-a-half years in Vietnam, couldn’t get a tattoo.

[Darragh Doyle] Cute story here about a guy admiring a Don Quixote tattoo from across a crowded pub. He approaches to the woman wearing the piece, who either doesn’t know the right story about where the design came from, or is purposely screwing with the narrator. Nice tattoo, as well.

More Ink-Stained Skeletons From the Palin Closet!

SCANDAL! Kind of. Potentially. Not really. Anyway, Wonkette received word from a tipster that Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, who is at the center of several lipstick-related controversies, doesn’t even put on lipstick. Why? Because the color on her lips is permanent makeup! Allegedly!

From: [email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Date: Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 2:59 PM
Subject: tip on Sarah Pallin

Notes: Sarah’s sister in-law owns a beauty parlor in Wasilla…apparently Sarah’s lip liner is tattooed on…not sure what to do with that one.

leak to wonkette

As Ken Layne mentions, this is completely unsubstantiated and the person sending in the story spells Palin’s last name wrong, but my word! Can the McCain/Palin campaign recover after having been rocked by these allegations? The important thing to consider here is that her pit bull joke from the RNC should be read in an entirely new context now, since tattooing dogs is obviously totally wrong. Basically, knowing what we do now, she all but said she would personally tattoo every canine in Alaska. Why does Sarah Palin hate animals?

Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe) [Wonkette.com]

And that’s it for this week, friends. Week one of BME’s News Blog is in the books! Come back Monday morning for even more occasionally interesting body modification news. Please. Please come back. I’ll bring pizza and pop. Have a good weekend.

Don’t They Know That’s Bad Luck? Where Are The Advisors?

In the least-reported story of the last five and a half years, apparently Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is pregnant. Out of wedlock! Good news, though: The young man who slipped one past the hockey mom’s kid’s goalie, Levi Johnson, is allegedly going to marry her, and totally made that decision all by himself and was not intimidated by the McCain campaign in the least. After all, if he weren’t entirely devoted, would he have done this?

Photo credit: Huffington Post

Yes, that’s Levi’s hand, and yes, it’s Bristol’s name. Huh. Better than biting it off, I guess.

Levi Johnson’s Tattoo: “Bristol” On Ring Finger [Huffington Post]