Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 9, 2009)

[Goldcoast] As we’ve discussed in the past, henna is, above most other things, an insidious plot by any number of shadowy poison syndicates to horrifically mangle and mutilate your young children. Don’t believe it? Well listen, then, to the tale of young Cannon Cribb:

The five-year-old recently returned from Bali where locals painted a dragon on his arm with what his parents now realise was a substance containing para-phenylenediamine (PPD).

All was fine until the tattoo wore off completely and the entire area welted into the shape of the original image, some two weeks after it was first put on.

The family now fear Cannon will be left with a life-long scar.

First of all, this kid’s name is Cannon. How awesome is that? Even money that he’s already the most popular in his class just because of that, and now he’s got a dragon on his arm? Look, it’s terrible in a lot of ways and something clearly has to be done about the shitbags who keep using this low-grade junk (it’s actually the additive PPD and not henna itself that causes this reaction, and the boy’s mother makes a very valid point: “‘What if a little girl got a butterfly on her face?”), but holy crap this kid is going to get so much ass. I mean, not as a five-year-old. Oh, God, no. We don’t support that. Plus, it’s not really physiologically possible. Hopefully. Who knows what kinda mutant hormones they’re draining into milk these days.

[Showbiz Spy] So hey, here is a very important article about popular sex actress Megan Fox, who, as it turns out, is just like everyone else out there who was mildly overbearing parents! Megan was all, “Hey I want to get tattooed,” and her mom was all, “But you’re so pretty already,” and Megan was all, “But I really really want a sleeve,” and her mom was all, “There’ll be none of that under my roof, young lady,” and Megan was all, “I’M A GROWN WOMAN I CAN DO WHAT I WANT,” and her mom was all, “RAAAAAAR NO YOU WON’T, NOW EAT YOUR BRUSSELS SPROUTS,” and so Megan ran to her room and slammed the door and cried herself to sleep, the end.

Megan Fox’s mother, Darlene, hates it when her superstar daughter gets a new tattoo.

Darlene is apparently furious at the Transformers star’s plans to cover her entire right arm in a tattoo “sleeve.”

“Her mom has never understood why her daughter would want to cover her gorgeous body with tattoos,” said an insider. “After each new tattoo, Darlene pleaded with Megan not to get more.

“Darlene believes that when Megan is a 40-year-old woman wanting to play more mature roles, people won’t want to hire her because it will be too hard to cover her tattoos.”

God it must really suck to be Megan Fox these days.

[NBA FanHouse] And finally, in celebration of tonight’s game three of everyone’s favorite NBA Finals between the Lakers and Magic, here is another heartbreaking tale of authoritarian power trying to limit the expression of tattooed people, except instead of parents it’s a multi-billion dollar clothing company, and instead of Megan Fox it’s a seven-foot-tall Polish man. Practically the same thing. Anyway, Marcin Gortat, back-up center for Orlando, has been a pleasant surprise for anybody betting on the Magic these playoffs, but apparently his sponsor, Reebok, is none too pleased with the way he’s chosen to adorn himself with terrible inky idolatry:

[Gortat] received an uncomfortable phone call last weekend from Reebok, with whom he has a shoe contract. Representatives of the company were not happy to see a picture of him from Game 1 in a Polish newspaper that prominently displayed his Michael Jordan/Nike logo tattoo on his lower right leg.

Reebok asked him either to wear higher socks tonight to cover up the tattoo, or to apply makeup so it will not be noticed through the rest of the NBA Finals.

“They called and said I had to do something about it, but that ain’t going to happen,” Gortat said after Tuesday morning’s workout.

“I’ve been wearing it 4-5 years now, and it helped me get to the NBA,” said Gortat. “They didn’t say anything about it when I signed the contract, so it’s not going anywhere. I don’t think they are paying me enough to take it off.”

This is hardly a first for Reebok. A few years back, San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan decided to forgo the usual NFL coach’s warm-up jacket and track-pants ensemble and wear a suit on the sidelines. Which would have been fine, had Reebok not been the official provider of sideline clothing for the league’s coaches, and so the NFL denied him his suits. Finally, because this was such a stupid story, everyone lightened up and Reebok just designed some suits for him to wear. All of which is to say, we’re all praying for Gortat when he is inevitably captured by Reebok’s thugs and has his little Air Jordan logo covered with a Reebok-approved pump.

18 thoughts on “Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 9, 2009)

  1. I’d like to see if megan fox getting a sleeve yet still getting jobs would influence regular employers to accept heavily tattooed people
    probably not, but it’d be nice, eh?

  2. Depends on what kind of jobs. In a way, tattoos are like bumper stickers…they’re a fairly glaring expression of your personality and views. You don’t see corporate executives with them plastered all over the backs of their BMWs and Mercs, because in typical office jobs part of the environment is that you don’t bring all your personal stuff into the workplace.

    Megan Fox, on the other hand, is an actress. Her job IS to show herself off.

    There are lots of places to put tattoos that would be covered up by officewear but visible in informal clothes, like shoulders and legs. So what’s the big deal?

  3. I can understand that Reebok would want Gortat to cover up a tattoo that promotes their competitors, Nike. However, if he had that tattoo before he signed a contract with them, and they knew about it, they’re out of luck.

    It seems like Megan Fox has been making LOTS of changes to herself since she became famous. I read that she’s got 9 tattoos and already regrets some of them. She needs to slow down.

    I think her mother is right in thinking that when she’s older it will be harder to get acting jobs, because having a tattoo sleeve will result in directors as seeing her suitable only for “certain” roles. It’s not nice, but “normal” people in society have connotations of what someone with tattoos is like (unfortunately, most of those connotations are negative). Especially because being an actress involves, well, acting a role, having tattoos that might contradict that character could be an issue.

  4. Whats with the Megan Fox hate? So she wants some tattoos. It’s not some exclusive club. It just sounds really snobby that you think she’s fake because she’s a tad famous (and hot hot hot).

  5. PLENTY of celebrities have tattoos in visible places. PLENTY of non-celebrities use make up day to day to cover visible tattoos. It’s not such a stretch for actors tattoos to be covered or edited out for tv or movies. I act on stage and have a tattoo that I need to cover for just about every role. My directors know this when they cast me and it hasn’t stopped them yet. I fail to see why the same wouldn’t go for a big names. Yeah, a sleeve is a lot to cover but it’s not beyond a little movie magic…

  6. I wish this debate would just end. If you want to get tattooed, do it. Just know that it could affect job hunting and accept it as part of the territory of being ‘modified’. The reward of progressing into and through modification is far more satisfying than any paycheck will ever be.

  7. Agreeing with #4 on this. Its not really fair to direct mockery like that towards an actress, when its the way she is portrayed in the media you don’t seem to like, which she has little control over. Why not mock the idiot that wrote the article, the idiots that paid them to write the article, and mostly, the idiots who buy/read the publication it was printed in, and stop perpetuating this whole cycle of ‘celebrity’ bullshit?

  8. Question: Why are you taking your 5 year old son to Bali? Sailors go there for the women and the booze, what the hell is some 5 year old kid gonna do?

    As for Megan Fox, hot girls with ink rock. I support the Girls with Ink movement!

  9. Well, there was a scandal where these Chinese manufacturers put melamine into milk powder causing many young babies t die…. And Megan Fox is HOTTTT.

  10. I didn’t say I thought she was ugly and I never said I thought she was fake because she’s famous.

    All I said was that I think she should slow down, because she’s made lots of changes to herself in a relatively short amount of time. If she is happy with her changes, that’s great. Usually when people make lots of changes in a short amount of time, there’s a good chance they may have gotten carried away, and that COULD result in later regrets. I am by no means saying that someone that modifies themselves a great deal is going to have regrets, but doing so in a short time frame just sounds like a bad idea. Personally I’d go for making a change, then savoring it for a while/getting completely used to it before making another change.

  11. Should people be aware of the risks henna can pose? Of course. Does that kid probably think that fate dealt him a winning hand and he’s the most badass kid in his class? …most likely.

    Hell, I would have!

  12. That is unfortunate but the risks of street vendor henna is well known by now and people shouldn’t get anything besides their hair done in foreign countries. And also that kid *is* going to be really cool…There are worse things than dragons. Cannon, f yeah!

  13. megan fox is OVER tattoos now [imdb said so this morning]

    Fox Ends Tattoo ‘Addiction’

    17 June 2009 1:10 AM, PDT

    Transformers star Megan Fox has ended her love affair with tattoos – she has scrapped plans for any more body art in case she regrets going under the needle when she’s older.

    The Hollywood actress has eight tattoos in total, including a picture of Marilyn Monroe’s face etched on her forearm.

    Fox recently announced plans to cover her entire right arm with ink – but she’s now backed out of the scheme, insisting she won’t be heading to the tattoo parlour again any time soon.

    She says, “They’re definitely addictive. I don’t have any that I truly regret yet, but I’m sure I will at some point.

    “I’m trying to refrain from going forward for that reason. I don’t want to be 40, looking at my arm in the mirror and going, ‘Oh my God – what did I do?’”

  14. Pingback: BME: Tattoo, Piercing and Body Modification News » ModBlog » Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Aug. 6, 2009)

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