This Terrible Affliction

Look, I’m not going to pretend I know what’s going through the mind of someone when they decide to get a tattoo that combines Mario Brothers monsters with the worst toilet in Scotland (courtesy of Trainspotting), but whatever it is, I am so, so glad it’s there.

“I have a customer who loves ridiculous tattoos,” says the artist, Kelly Doty at Turnpike Tattoo in Meriden, Connecticut, “which is great, because I love doing ridiculous tattoos.” She calls this one, strangely enough, “the majestic venus poop trap, found in its natural habitat.” Keep it up.

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Burned a Bottle Full

Oh Jesus, sorry to ruin your sunny Friday afternoon with this, but man alive would you look at this terrifying monster? People are just trying to leave the city to go drink at their cottages, the way God intended for them to spend Independence Day, but this creature in the flame-retardant suit is just cold tossin’ their cars this way and that. Could this be a metaphor for something? Something…sinister? Probably. Either that or it’s a scene from that damned new “Transformers” movie the kids are all crying about.

(Tattoo by Istvan at Primitive Origins Tattoo in Hammersmith, England.)