On Pins and Needles: A Life of Play Piercing [BME/News]

On Pins and Needles:
A Lifetime of Play Piercing

My friend “Mr. Thomas” was the artist behind the Pins and Needles bonus gallery in BME/HARD (members-only link) until his diabetes made him decide that it might be best to put his play piercing interests behind him — as he writes, “I guess I’ve had my fun, and now that I’m approaching middle age, it’s time to leave the fast lane, and start being more careful.” In this interview we reminisce about his experiences in over thirty years of heavy play piercing, almost all of it in secret. Because his play piercing interests developed independently and without outside influence, I think you will find it an interesting contrast to the standard play piercing that is currently popular.

* * *

Shannon: Tell me a little about yourself.

I’m in my early forties, was born in Colorado, and moved around the country a lot as my folks were in the military. We finally settled in the deep south of Mississippi in 1981.

I’m an A+ certified computer technician with an extensive background in holographic imaging for over fifteen years off and on, and I’m an amateur artist who sings classical choral music and opera. I love classical music as well as all other forms of music like new age, light rock, pop, disco, and so on. I’m heavy into science fiction as well as science fact. I’m also heavy into video games to the extent that I’m building an arcade machine for my living room. I’m considered legally blind from birth.

[Editor’s note: Thomas is currently involved in a number of fascinating projects that are quite public; unfortunately they can’t be talked about here without risking revealing his identity.]

Shannon: Legally blind?

Legally blind means that I have some vision, but not enough to drive, fly a plane, or recognize people at a distance. I also have limited fields of view, and some blind spots. In my case, I only see bellow the horizon, and my side vision is very poor. My vision in the left eye is only finger count at four feet, and the right is only correctable to 20/100 with lenses, but still both eyes have the field of view loss, and blind spots. This condition is called bilateral coloboma. It’s a congenital birth defect that involves the lack of cells that make up the light sensitive retina in some parts of the eyes, and is often mistaken for detached retina by less experienced eye doctors. The condition also affects the shape of the iris which gives me a “U” shaped pupil. Fortunately, I have brown eyes which hides this a bit. The United States Air Force medical division even did a medical documentary on my condition using video footage of me trying to read a book demonstrating another eye problem I, and many others have called “astigmatism” or something like that in which the eyes can’t fixate on a target very well, and move around too much to be able to focus properly.

I chose to make holograms because there is no focusing involved. You just bounce light off carefully placed mirrors, subject matter, and film. No camera is involved. Just a dark room. But I’ve been out of the holography business for a few years due to financial reasons. Hmmm… How about a hologram of a piercing for the cover? I only wish I were set up do industrial holography for mass production. Oh well, it was just a thought. I couldn’t do a live subject, it would have to be a small replica or something. It’s a physics thing.

* * *

Shannon: Tell me about your play piercing interest?

I frequently enjoy sticking pins into myself as an adrenaline rush as well as the satisfaction of an idle sadistic curiosity, I suppose. It’s also a kind of “mind over matter” thing. It really gets my heart pounding when I’m piercing my breasts and or nipples. It sometimes enhances sexual stimulation.

Shannon: How did you discover this interest?

I got started with this sort of thing more than thirty years ago when I was a kid. It all started when I accidentally crashed my bike into one of those trees that has all those long three to four inch thorns on them. Some of them stuck me very deeply in the arms, legs, and even my chest. The strange thing was that there was almost no pain, and I noticed I had become a bit aroused by the strange sensation of a dozen or so of these thorns stuck in me. Ever since that day I found my self experimenting with just about every pin and needle I could lay my hands on, and I also got extremely fascinated by images of acupuncture being done, or injections being given.

The next thing I knew, I found my self stealing my mother’s pins and needles and sticking them just under my skin in my fingers, and arms at first, and then a few months later, I started experimenting with inserting them into my breasts. The sensation of having pins stuck deeply into my breasts was awesome, and very arousing. I’m sure my mother wondered what was happening to all those pins she noticed missing from her sewing box!

Shannon: What specifically do you enjoy about it?

The sexual thrill, the rush, sexual, rush, and curiosity drove my obsession with needles and piercings.

Shannon: Do you think being blind plays a role in it at all?

There may be something to that, as tactile sensation does play an important roll in the life of someone with visual problems… Yes, it certainly played a major roll in my piercing sessions.

Shannon: When you started play piercing, did anyone know what you were doing?

All of this was happening while I was still in grade school, and I wasn’t even ten years old yet. I tried my first deliberate self inflicted piercing back in 1975. It was not much, just under the skin of my hand, and a friend of mine and I would freak out the girls in our class by showing them what we had mastered.

Shannon: Did you continue to “share” your interest?

Back in 1975, I really kept to myself, and only showed one close friend this activity. I think my mother was aware of my activity back then when she noticed a small scar on my left breast — she is a nurse, so she would know these things. My friend’s reaction was “You are weird!” But, he got over it, and I never pressed the issue with him. Even today, only about three other friends of mine know about my play piercing activity. Sometimes I’ll tell this to those I want to run off that I don’t want to be bothered by relationship-wise if they don’t get the message. It works well.

Shannon: How did your play piercing interest escalate?

For about twenty years or so I mainly stuck to shallow insertions just under the skin of my belly, and chest, and then gradually worked my way up to experimenting with the more dangerous straight in, and deeper piercings. I damned near punctured a lung with one of these stunts, but the sensation I felt of a needle that deep was awesome. But I came to my senses and never went quite that deep again.

Shannon: When did you start doing play piercing in your nipples?

It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I started exploring the intense sensation of pushing a needle deep into my nipples, and giving them a light twist. Even then, I still had not tried going through the nipple like one would for putting in jewelry. My first nipple piercing was of course straight in, and deep. This was an awesome sensation, and I did it frequently for a long time. I tried my first full breast skewering just within the last couple of years. I have slowed down my piercing activities recently as diabetes makes it take longer for the body to repair itself. But I still engage in it from time to time. A few years ago, I wanted to use very long needles for full breast skewering, and deep penetration, but could not find any anywhere, so I experimented with making my own needles from 18 to 20 gauge steel rods or wire, and a dremel with a sharpening stone on it. These actually worked better than the common straight pins I had. But I got tired of making my needles, and actually found a source for long hat pins through Manhattan Wardrobe Co in New York City, and a few other sewing supply houses that sell nice two and a half to three inch corsage pins as well. I suppose that in my time, I’ve used everything including common straight pins, safety pins, tacks, push pins, home made pins, hat pins, corsage pins, and even acupuncture needles, of which I was even able to find six inch versions although these are so flimsy you really have to work to use them. The only type of needle I have not used yet are the injection type needles. I won’t use these for several important reasons. Most importantly, they are not cheap. Second most important, they do a lot of tissue damage because they have an off axis tip which does more cutting than piercing. Third, they are hollow, which can serve as a a vector right into the body for bacteria. Also, I’ve noticed most piercings done with these needles tend to bleed. So I stick to pins and needles that do as little damage to tissue as possible. I have yet to try suspension, and probably won’t because I’m a diabetic. Diabetics have thinner skin than healthy folks, but I may at least try having the hooks put in, and do a light pull, just not a full load suspension. Who knows.

Shannon: Tell me more about the deep play piercing…

Very deep play piercing has its price. It’s highly risky if you don’t know your internal anatomy, and don’t pay attention to pain. I have a nice deep scar in my left breast which was caused in part by a very deep piercing which tore a muscle when I did not do the piercing right. I simply went all the way through the muscle, and well into the rib cage. That’s when I almost punctured a lung. Turns out I was very close to the heart, because I could see the needle swinging like a pendulum. It didn’t hurt and I didn’t realize how deep I had gone until I saw it beating.

The docs say there is nothing they can do about it without making the scar much worse. A pissed off iguana did not help matters by making the original scar area worse by tearing a nice gash in me when I was trying to force feed it after it had gone off feed from being sick. I neglected to get the injury looked at in time, and the resulting infection left the scar you now see. A friend said to me, “Well, that’s what happens when you breast feed an iguana!” These days, I’m more careful about not going into muscle tissue now that I know more about the fact that damaged muscle fibers won’t grow back. I stick to deep penetration, but stay out of the muscles. I’ve never been asked by a doctor about the scar. I also have noticed my nipples now have permanent holes where I had been going into the same part of the nipple repeatedly. After a few months of rest, they are finally starting to close up. As for the through and through breast skewering, this was partly inspired by the Slave Misty gallery, and I wanted to just try this for myself. I have not seen or experienced any ill effects from having done this, other than one bleed out that got my attention. No muscle tissue was affected by this. It was an extremely intense experience which really did not hurt at all. I did have one nasty experience where after getting twelve five inch hat pins through one breast, and taking all those pictures, and after taking the pins out, I closed out my imaging program before saving, and had to redo the whole shoot on my other breast. That’s why in some shoots you see a needle scarred breast in the first shots.

Shannon: What does the sensation feel like to you?

Actually I feel no pain other than a slight pinch on entry. I learned very early that you will only feel pain if you go into a nerve packed area and ignore the burn.

In case anyone is wondering, I don’t jam the needles in fast — I have found that it’s better to insert slowly. This lets me listen to my body, and if it does hurt, I can pull out, and try another site. Also, if you jab, you run the risk of breaking blood vessels, or hitting nerves, to say nothing of the risk of going through the ribs, and hitting an organ. By inserting slowly, the tip of the needle will simply glide around blood vessels, leaving them intact for the most part.

Shannon: Are there ever issues with bleeding or other complications?

Actually, in all the thirty years I’ve been doing this, I’ve only had about three or four bleed outs that really got my attention. Two of them can be seen in some of my later submissions which show about a dozen or so five inch hat pins inserted all the way through the breasts. Most of the times I luck out, and don’t get a single drop. Other times I might get a tiny drop of blood, what we call a micro bleed. Most often, the bleeds I do get happen between the nipple, and the arms where there are blood vessels found closer to the skin.

Shannon: Let’s talk a bit about different kinds of needles — it looks like you often use simple push-pins, rather than something medical?

Nothing is more frightening than to try to pull a pin out of your body only to have the head of the pin come off in your hand. This happened to me once, and I’m glad that pin had not been inserted all the way to the head of the pin like I used to do. If it had, I could very well have been off to the hospital to have it removed. The pin was in my nipple, but knowing how hard it is to pull a pin from a nipple, I made sure to leave a little pin hanging out so I could grasp it easily. As it turns out, that was a good thing, because the head did come off the pin, and I had to use a vice grip to pull the needle out the rest of the way.

So, when using pins with plastic, or other heads, don’t insert these all the way in, and avoid pushing them in so deep that if the head does come off, your flesh will envelop the needle. Leave enough needle hanging out that you can easily get at it if you have a problem.

Shannon: But you still prefer those needles over injection-style hypodermic type needles that seem more popular these days for play piercing?

I prefer to use pins over injection needles, because the tip of a pin is perfectly centered, and does not have the cutting edges found on injection needles. That’s why injection needles go in so easily compared with pins, but it’s why you tend to bleed more with injection needles. I find I have far fewer bleeds with pins, than with injection needles.

The other thing I don’t like about injection needles is the fact that they are hollow. This presents three problems. First, the hollow tube can act as a vector for pathogens to be transported right into your body. It’s harder for this to happen with pins, though not impossible. Second, the hollow tube can contribute to a frightful bleed out, if you don’t pull the needle out of whatever blood vessel the tip has intercepted. Finally, a hollow needle is more prone to bending or possibly even breaking than pins of the same gauge.

Shannon: What gauge and size of needles do you use?

I prefer to use needles of about 20 to 30 gage in size, because they do the least amount of damage to tissues. Acupuncture needles, are fine, if you use lengths under three inches. I have six inch acupuncture needles, but the gage is 28 which is just too flimsy to easily insert the needle all the way through my breasts. For this type of activity, I suggest a bit thicker needle that’s not too flimsy, but not so wide that it causes scars. I usually use six inch hat pins for going through my breasts, but never stick these into your rib cage, or insert in any direction that puts internal organs at risk. Just “stick” to surface to surface piercings, or deep piercings that don’t put you at risk.

Most acupuncture needles come with a tube. This tube is not for shipping purposes. It is used to start the insertion of the needle, and aids in easy insertion. You use it by placing the tube firmly against the skin, and then inserting the needle through the tube with a gentle tap. You will find the needle goes in much easier with the tube, because the tube stretches the skin, and keeps the skin from gripping the needle. It also provides rigidity to the needle while inserting. In some cases I’ve found it easier to shorten the tube by about no more than half an inch for the six inch acupuncture needles. This lets you get the needle in deep enough so that when you take away the tube the needle is less likely to flop around.

The larger the needle diameter (lower gauge), the greater that risk of infection as the hole the larger needle makes will also be larger. There is also greater risk of long term damage to tissues, blood vessels, and nerves.

For deep straight-in piercings, I prefer to straighten out a safety pin, or even make my own needles from 20 to 30 gage wire with a coiled, or bent head that I know won’t come off. You can go as deep as you like without worrying about plastic pin heads coming off, and leaving a pin buried in you.

* * *

Shannon: I saw there were some photos where you were breast pumping… What was your motivation in trying that?

The breast pumping was originally intended for enlargement purposes, but as I discovered it was not really working, it later just became little more than a kinky toy thing. I have discovered the danger of over pumping when I noticed one of my nipples bleeding. I also got tired of the “ring around the boob” effect of prolonged pumping. These happen when done for more than twenty minutes at a time, and when over pumped. I no longer engage in pumping other than as a funny looking kinky toy for entertainment purposes these days.

Shannon: You mentioned you sometimes do genital play piercing as well?

I generally stay away from the genitalia when it comes to piercings because that’s a high bacteria risk area, and especially for a diabetic — this is a no-go zone for me. Even healthy folks need to be especially careful with genital piercing, either play, or permanent [Editor’s note: I disagree with this assessment personally, as well as a few of the others]. This is also a high bleed out risk area for anyone. If done carefully, and if one takes the time to study internal anatomy, and learn where arteries, and nerves are, and exercises cleanliness, and sterile protocols, one can have a great experience with genital play, and permanent piercings.

Shannon: Since you occasionally cross-dress, do you mind telling me how you’d characterize your sexual orientation?

I actually consider myself multi-sexual in that I could easily go either way, and even though I have no desire to have a sex change, I also don’t have a problem with my large breasts, although I lately find myself gravitating more towards heterosexuality. A close friend dared me to try a bit of cross dressing, although that’s not my thing. It was an interesting twist just to see what a fat guy with a mustache would look like in a hot red boob out. It’s not the sort of thing I engage in on a regular basis. It was also done because I do have “A-cup” breasts. It was fun, but it’s behind me now, as they say. Who knows, I might try it again some day. I don’t mind talking about this to my close friends, or even with you for this, but it’s not something I’d rant about at the office.

Shannon: I have to ask you about your dress-up and computer gear in this hilarious photo — was that just a joke photo?

The computer gear is real, and in use, and you’re right, it was a hoot!

Shannon: Ever think about getting permanent piercings?

I have considered permanent piercings, but never had it done for financial reasons, and because of horror stories about angry lovers ripping them out on people. I’m also concerned about the long term affects of metal or plastic in one’s body, and am looking into any research that may be ongoing in this area. I have heard of some kinds of metal causing permanent tissue damage from metallic poisoning, but it’s pretty rare, and usually involves inferior quality jewelry, so I’m still looking into reliable sources for jewelry. I don’t think having permanent piercings would defeat the purpose of play piercing, but they might have some impact on how I went about the practice. That’s something I may have to explore someday.

* * *

Shannon: Any advice to people who want to try this sort of thing?

Make sure you are mentally ready for this activity. You don’t want to engage in this activity if you have thoughts of suicide, or of bringing harm to yourself, or others. Never do piercings if you are in a bad mood. And never do it in a thunderstorm when you might jump when a clap of thunder hits. This could be bad.

Shannon: Let no one say you don’t have

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About Shannon Larratt

Shannon Larratt is the founder of BME (1994) and its former editor and publisher. After a four year hiatus between 2008 and 2012, Shannon is back adding his commentary to ModBlog. It should be noted that any comments in these entries are the opinion of Shannon Larratt and may or may not be shared by BMEzine.com LLC or the other staff or members of BME. Entry text Copyright © Shannon Larratt. Reproduced under license by BMEzine.com LLC. Pictures may be copyright to their respective owners. You can also find Shannon at Zentastic or on Facebook.


Bry’s Gag Tattoos

White Guy Bry swears that his “small” tattoo (done at Exo Graphix in Destin, FL) gets him laughs at the beach, although he doesn’t say whether they’re laughing at him or with him… Being a pun fan, I personally prefer the tattoo on the right (by Michelle at Mejestik in Tucson, AZ). If you don’t get it, it’s his nipple ring.

He also has STD’s on his ass — I’m sure you can guess that joke (and you can view more silliness on his new IAM page) — but the mirror writing on his chest is really, really sweet… it’s a note from his sister.

Alvar Saenz-Otero: Droid Master [BME Publisher’s Ring Interview]

Droid Master

Earlier this year I was watching the Discovery Channel‘s “Daily Planet”, a science news show, as I did some programming or BME work or whatever it was that my primary focus was supposed to be. The show caught my eye when I noticed they were interviewing someone with a fair chunk of facial piercings:

It turned out to be Alvar Saenz-Otero, a scientist leading a team developing a series of networked microsatellites at MIT that have been undergoing testing in the International Space Station. The space program has certainly attracted its fair share of unique and expressive individuals, notably Erl Van Aken who is not only credited with inventing the bridge piercing, but also helping create the lunar rover. That said, because there continues to be a strong social stigma against the heavily (or visibly) modified individual, I’m always fascinated by people who are exceptional enough in what they do to be able to succeed in highly demanding fields while continuing to express themselves in the way that makes them happy or comfortable.

The easiest way to explain the SPHERES project is to say that they are reminiscent of the “battle training droids” that Luke Skywalker uses in Star Wars — these very small, relatively autonomous utility droids able to self-organize and navigate on their own, both independently and in formation (so multiple satellites could work together on a larger task). Here they are being tested both on the ISS and in a zero-gravity flight (sorry about the luddite screen caps — these are just photos of my television — there are much better pictures later in the interview!):

As you can imagine, I was absolutely thrilled when Alvar (or should I say “Dr. Saenz-Otero”?) agreed to do an interview! The interview is in two parts, beginning with a discussion of his modifications themselves, and them moving on to some information about the SPHERES project.

– Shannon

Part One: Body Modification

What first drew you to body modification, and when did you first start getting piercings?

  Alvar with Owen from Chameleon Body Arts
Alvar with his main piercer, Owen

I would say that since sometime in elementary school (4th or 5th grade, I think) I thought it was very interesting for boys to get piercings… it was somewhat breaking the rules, although at that point I never did it (after all, I do admit I was the “nerd” in the class). It also really was not “body modification” for real, but just the idea of an earring that was not supposed to be there by “standard” culture. I got my first piercing (earring) on 10th grade, and from there until sophomore year in college it was only earrings.

For some extremely unknown reason to me during sophomore year one day I just said, without knowing anything about body modifications in general, “there should be other places that can be pierced” (or, in my original translation from Spanish “where I can have earrings”). The nipple was an extremely obvious place, but at that point it was more like play-piercing, since I would never keep any of those piercings.

After that I spent a summer working in Atlanta, and during the 4th of July parade I saw a guy without a shirt with a nipple piercing (and a very impressive skull tattoo in the arm)… that told me “it really can be done”, and that’s when it all got really started. I got my first real body piercings a few days later (right nipple & tongue, which I noticed elsewhere). And a couple weeks later was the first time I saw BME (it was quite new at the time!)… this was all during 1996.

After 1996, when I discovered BME, I began to see other people with large-gauge rings (like 10ga or 8ga) both in real life and online, and that really caught my attention. In 97/98 I began some stretching and a couple other “beyond earring” piercings (septum – which I used a ratainer for, and still do, it’s very “intrusive”, and tragus, which I retired for a while because of sports).

Originally I thought I’d never go beyond 10ga. Then around 00, after seeing lots of stretching on BME, I began real stretching, up to 1/2″. I also started with the facial piercings. I like symmetry, so while I began with only the right eyebrow, I ended up with both pierced. The bridge was fun: I had a trip to Europe (aerospace conference), and after that travelled around Europe a little bit… and decided I really wanted a new piercing, so I got the bridge in Frankfurt (it’s my only “metric” piercing… BTW, using Teflon bars for a bridge is incredibly amazing! It heals fantastic, and as the piercing healed (and the swelling reduced), I simply cut the Teflon to make the barbell fit). It all happened reasonably gradually, with about 1 new piercing every six months (the main thing is that I have not really retired many, or at least they come back).

How did your family and friends respond?

I really don’t remember how they reacted to the first earring. I’m quite sure my mom said something to my dad like “we’ve always told them to experiment things with their body if they want to”… and I’m sure my dad just groaned by did nothing major about it. Both were ultimately truly understanding, and it was very clear they cared a lot more about my values that my physical decisions. As long as I was a good student and good person, they never pushed me otherwise.

Still, the ’96 summer I really never let them know. Somehow I actually kept both piercings hidden without them knowing. I’m not sure why I cared so much… except that even from then I began to have the attitude that they were my piercings, I did it because I wanted them for me and not anyone else… and that if they made a big fuss about it then it would become something not just for me, but about others too.

My mom never cared, she always laughed or simply did not care. My dad was a little harder… he actually very directly told me that he did not like some of them (like the earlets) but he liked others (the eyebrows) – and I guess others he did not care either way, like the industrials. So sometimes when I went home, to make him happy (but never because he forced me), I would take out some jewelry and keep other in (once when I lost an eyebrow barbell he actually asked me why I took that one out, he liked it!).

So, it was a two-tier thing: first, it all happened gradually over multiple years; and second, my parents were truly very understanding.

About friends — MIT is an amazing place that way, and because I always did tons of things to be around people because of academic or social reasons, while they sometimes reacted to the piercings with “wow” expressions (both good and bad), the fact that I did not let it bother me meant it did not bother them, and things went on. I never looked for anyone else to tell me what I should do or not, I did it on my own time when I wanted to.


Alvar’s ear work

I assume you had summer jobs and “normal” jobs before doing your current research — did your piercings affect that experience, and if so, how?

Unfortunately not having US Citizenship made having an engineering summer job basically impossible for me, so on this one the answer will not be extremely helpful.

My 1996 job was somewhat annoying, in that they did make me take the piercings out (which meant my first eyebrow piercing never had time to heal). But since the other “new” piercings were hide-able, they survived.

After that I always worked at MIT. While I did have some “customer jobs” (I managed a grill/restaurant a couple years), again, it was the fact that I really made them a non-issue and that people saw my character rather than the piercings, which made it never matter.

As you got more piercings, how did teachers and fellow pupils, especially as your education became more advanced, respond?

The more I got the less they responded. I think the most response always came from stretching the lobes, and always from fellow students (or administrators)… professors never told me anything about them in any serious way (one professor did point out when I had a clear-acrylic 1/2″ plug: “be careful, that looks like a magnifying glass, don’t burn yourself!”). I think that was the best part in that sense, professors (the people who I guess I trully ultimately looke up to) never told me anything about them. They saw my work, and that’s what they cared about.

I have to admit that by staying in the same place it made it a lot easier, because I did make a reputation for myself. I did have to work with new people (like Deans) coming in, but the reputation did follow me a little bit, and I did personally feel very secure at that point. I am sure it would be different for someone who tries to go to a new place every few years, and I don’t have the experience to give any good feedback on that one.

Do you find your piercings are accepted more in Mexico or more in the United States?

I do think in a very objective way that the US (especially the coasts, like MIT/New England) is more progressive than Mexico, so there is some truth to being more accepted in the US than Mexico.

For a while (especially early on) I seriously felt as they were more accepted in the US. I felt like the piercings did not fit in Mexico, so I made myself feel like I should take them out while there… they were something I did in the US, so they should stay there? And looking back, I think it was more of a personal thing…

Today I’ll go to schools/universities in Mexico and walk among both professors and students there, and while there may be a quick “shock”, I quickly make them realize I stand by my MIT degrees and I mean business, and they realize that I don’t have to be dressed “business casual” to mean it.

Because people face prejudice toward both race and chosen appearance (such as pierced people being banned from employment under dress code rules and so on), people sometimes compare or even put the two in the same class. As someone who has experienced both, do you feel that suggesting that pierced people receiving the same protections as other protected groups (ie. just like you can’t fire someone because you find out they’re a religion you don’t like) is a valid or invalid statement? And how has being heavily pierced affected interviews and so on in the professional world?

This is a very tough question. Trying to be rational (that’s why my life is about at MIT anyway):

  • You are born with a race/color, you don’t choose it.
  • You do choose to be pierced/modified.

In that sense, no, the same protections are not the same… of course, then you go deeper and say “is being gay a choice or not?” In that case, whether a choice or not, I strongly believe people cannot be discriminated against for it. So, then, if you choose to be pierced, should people be allowed to discriminate?

In the ideal society, no. The truly intelligent society will exist when there is no discrimination based on any physical characteristic (choice or not) whatsoever, but only on the mental and moral values of people. A person in a suit who lies and steals is way worse than someone with dozens of piercings who makes an honest life piercing others. In blunt and condensed terms, in my opinion the piercer is a much better human being than the liar in a suit.

In the real society, I think it is a battle we need to fight, and one that basically comes from us showing the rest of the world that discriminating on looks is counter-productive to human kind.

My attitude is:

  • I will show up to interviews, conferences, and meetings (e.g., including with Deans at MIT) with my piercings.
  • If people decide based upon on them that they don’t want to work with me, then in my opinion it’s their loss.
  • I come very prepared to every meeting — if the piercings shock them, I make sure that I shock them way way way more with my performance at the meeting.

Saying that “it’s their loss” is arrogant, but I go beyond that by truly sticking with the third point: I impress them with what I do, not how I look (many times we end up laughing at the looks, but in a very friendly way once my real point has gone through).

Should someone have to work harder because they’re pierced? No, not at all… you should simply always work hard. Being pierced/modified should neither give nor take any rights from you — you deserve the same treatment, and you are free to look different.


Alvar with his advisor David Miller and the first astronaut that operated SPHERES aboard the International Space Station.

What advice would you have to people who want to choose to look different than the average person, but still want to have a successful life?

If you choose to look different, do it because you really want to do it, and do it for yourself. That’s what I did. These are my piercings; they are not there for someone else to look, they are not there to attract attention of random onlookers (I’m sure almost everyone out there hates it as much as I do); they are there because I want them.

When you make them your own, then when you go meet others you act as yourself, and any smart person will be able to see who you are.

So, to that, I simply say: be a good person.

Don’t get pierced and say that therefore you have to be X or Y; don’t let your friends think you’ve changed because you are modified. That was really important, as I got more piercings, my friends began to see it as part of me, and not as something that was changing me!

You want to succeed and go to MIT? Be good at math, don’t be a stereotype (MIT really does not like them!), take many AP classes, and show that you are well rounded (sure, be on a band, why not!) When you apply to college nobody will look at your picture and decided from it if you are in or out, they’ll look at your accomplishments. So, accomplish things.

I have mostly kept my “professional” and “modifications” lives completely separate. At work I really don’t let them bug me, and when anyone tries to point them out, I very quickly make it clear that’s not the point. Similarly, I really never talked about anything “work” related with any piercing/tattoo staff for a really long time.

I’m not saying this is good… it’s not really bad either, although maybe a little bit. It does make you feel “lonely” when something that is clearly part of you is only part of you for part of the day.

Around 2001 I began to be a “repeat offender” of Chameleon Tattoo & Body Piercing in Harvard Square (Cambridge MA, close to MIT). It really wasn’t until I met Owen there that I had shown anyone who I ever did any “mods” with anything about work. But finding Owen was good, because he kinda showed me that the “mod” circle can also be very open (I was always scared of saying I was from MIT and people either not believing or, more common, simply saying “oh” and not saying anything again!). I took me about a year of knowing Owen to take my laptop over to the shop and show him (and others there) videos of the SPHERES stuff (I do want a plug for Owen and company: for mods in the Boston/Cambridge area, definitely go to Chameleon!). This attitude really kept me from really joining any “mod” circles too, because I’ve been always somewhat scared that I’ll be the “nerd” again (HS was somewhat painful being the nerd)… and you wanting an interview I hope may be a turning point (just like you were shocked at getting a response from me, I was in shock to learn that you saw “Daily Planet”, paid enough attention to get my name, and then the time to find me and contact me!).

So, in this sense, I hope that me “opening up” with a BME interview allows others in very “professional” circles to also open up (without needing a BME interview for it), and at the same time to even further kill any myths that the mod-community is not open to “nerds” too!

Part Two: The SPHERES Project

I’d read that one of the design inspirations for the SPHERES project was the little floating droids in Star Wars — is that a fair way to introduce them to help people who haven’t seen anything on them conceptualize them?

 
Three SPHERES undergoing testing abord the ISS

I think you need a mixture of two things to conceptualize SPHERES: yes, the first is that each of our satellites is like that droid in Star Wars, it floats around inside the space stations and moves in all directions (although not that fast!).

The other thing is to think that there are many of them (in our case up to three), and that they work together. That is very important, we built them so that we can understand who many satellites can work together to replace one bigger one. One example relevant to today is the idea of going to Mars. We are going to need a very large spacecraft, larger than what we can put in space. That means we’re going to have to send many parts, and then put them together in space. We’ve done that: the ISS… but it’s very expensive! We need to get the parts to assemble themselves in a cheap way without all the expenses of the ISS.

One of the really hard thing for people to understand is: if the droid in Star Wars floated on its own already, what’s so big about this? SciFi inspires us, but it also makes the life of us scientists harder: it was humans who moved the droid in Star Wars, and which tell all those robots in movies exactly how to move… on SPHERES, the satellites are figuring out on their own both where they are and how to move!

What is your primary job in the SPHERES project?

I’m the “Lead Scientist”, in other words, the every-day manager of the project who makes sure (or tries 🙂 that the science that needs to happen does. We have many contracts with different government groups, with private industry, and with other universities. I need to make sure that the tests we run on the space station will meet the needs of the government and industry, while at the same time allow other universities (and our own “self motivated” research) to have some tests. To do this I manage a group of 6 to 8 graduate students (and 2 to 4 helper undergraduates) so that between all of us we program all the software and prepare for the tests. It also means interfacing with NASA to make sure they give us test time (and NASA is not easy!).

What do you see the main roles of satellites using the technology you’re developing being initially, and later as the technology matures?

The earliest roles will be, I belive, to “service” satellites — in other words, to be able to launch satellites that re-fuel or repair other satellites (e.g., the next generation of the Hubble will not need the shuttle to be repaired, we should be able to design it so that a “service” satellite does that).

In the long term it will help to find other planets. We are going to make huge telescopes by using small satellite sin special “formations”, and we will be able to say : that planet really looks like the Earth!

What are the challenges in developing guidance systems on Earth (where I assume you can’t really test in three dimensions other than in a simulation) that are intended for use in a zero/microgravity environment? As you moved from simulation and lab testing, to parabolic flights, to the ISS, how much did your code and hardware have to change? Or is the design of the code such that when perfected it will operate fairly adaptively to whatever gravitational fields are affecting it?

You’re right, on Earth we can’t do everything in 3 dimensions (3D), we have to do everything in 2D.

We began the project fully aware of the need to operate in 3D, therefore everything we built was originally designed to work in 3D and then “downgraded” to work in 2D (although sometimes not enough — we actually ran into a problem that should only affect us in 3D in the 2D tests, and made things very hard!).

That said, your last point is the closest one to what we do: our goal is to show that the algorithms are very “robust” — that they will work even when we had lots of simulation/modeling errors. None of the real satellites that use the science we’re working on with SPHERES will look like SPHERES (they will be larger, different shape, have different components, etc); but if we show that the algorithms are very “robust to uncertainties” in SPHERES, then as long as we know the new real satellites “well enough”, the algorithms will work.

Do the SPHERES have Earth-based applications as well? (ie. autonomous micro-blimps for military and media use and so on, or even high powered ones — I’m asking this in part because of DARPA’s interest?)

DARPA’s interest in on the “servicing” missions, they actually have one going on in parallel with SPHERES.

That said, our algorithms will be able to help ground-based applications in the future too, especially because they advance the science of controls, which is needed everywhere. I don’t have a specific example right now, though.


Alvar’s large gauge nostrils

Can many current satellite roles be better performed by microsatellites or formations of microsatellites, or do SPHERES create an entirely new niche and set of possibilities?

Currently we’re advancing both. Today microsatellites usually work on their own, so they can’t yet fill the role of an existing large satellites — we and others are working separately on making microsatellites do everything they need to replace existing technologies.

But they also open new possibilities: for example, even with very advanced technology we’ll never make a space telescope that is 1km in diameter (we can’t build such a mirror, at least not for many decades). Formation flight will allow in less time, I believe, for us to simulate such a telescope in space and obtain the same results as a real one. Other interesting one is on space radar. All the movies that show us the military finding a card and then reading the license place are using dramatic license to make it happen… it can’t today. But by using many satellites to make a “synthetic” radar, we might be able to. The satellites can start aligned so that they cover a very large area, and once they find a “blurry” target, change their formation shape so that they can see the license plate.

From an engineering and programming point of view, was it more difficult designing the initial stability/motion code, or is formation flight the more difficult challenge?

In my opinion the hardest thing so far has for the satellites to figure out where they are. This is what we call “metrology” (the science of measurement). For an object like a satellite to know where it is, it’s a very hard problem. Many people think “but GPS knows”… except that it does not work for two reasons on SPHERES: first, GPS is good for distances of about 1m, but since the satellites are only 0.22m, it’s not good enough; second, GPS does not work inside the ISS.

Of course now that we’re starting to do formation flight, we’ve had our share of challenges there too. Wireless communications between multiple satellites is actually a hard problem when you want them to be synchronized to milliseconds of each other! A human speaking on the telephone does not mind a short random delay… but the satellites do, so we have to research a lot of “coordination” between them.

Do you see a much wider range of applications for the underlying technologies (ie. automated docking of larger vehicles, etc.), or is this optimized for much smaller devices?

I think this goes with what I said above: SPHERES is to test the robustness of the algorithms, such that they work on larger “real” satellites.



Shannon Larratt
BMEzine.com

BME Newsfeed for Apr 26, 2007

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BME Newsfeed for Apr 5, 2007

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THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN [BME’s The Publisher’s Ring]

THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN

Please note: This is an explicit interview, with explicit photos and video. It is an interview from the upcoming book Tortured and Loving It, a collection of interviews with BME/HARD members.

A few months ago I met “FK” in Germany. His personal play involves intense body insertions with dramatically large (and often unorthodox) objects, as well as other play and body modification activities. Due to an abnormally well developed immune system, he is able to push the limits of “if it feels good, do it” farther than most. The interview below is a translated version (the interview was done in German) of our conversation about his remarkable games.

The video (8 meg WMV file) below give you an idea of the type of play and body ritual he enjoys. I have included ejaculation and clear sexual play in the video so there’s no doubt that this is voluntary and enjoyable play. Again, let me emphasize that this is explicit, an adult interview, and that the activities you see here are dangerous and should not be emulated! Play carefully and know your limits!

* * *

Shannon/BME: How did this type of play begin?

FK: At first I experimented with pins and so on. This was when I was about thirteen years old. I was very drawn to the feeling of putting something inside my body.

At first it was curiosity — how much could I take? Then I found that pain excited me sexually, and over time it became more and more extreme. The thought of putting things under my skin is very hot and exciting. After pins I moved on to skewers, and sometimes 10mm stainless steel rod and aquarium heating rods (not turned on).

To insert the larger rods, I use very sharp special scissors that are normally used for cutting fishing line to make the incision. I’m an avid angler, so I always have them around the house. I usually don’t leave the objects in for long, no more than a day. Last year I inserted a metal rod in myself and rode a 100km bicycle route, which was quite extreme! This was an experiment to see how much I could stand and for how long.

Healing from heavy play takes two to four weeks, and then everything is back to normal. I’ve stopped now because of the considerable scars that I have from the play.

Shannon/BME: What do you think about while you’re doing this play?

FK: Obviously it hurts, but to tell the truth, this sort of pain excites me greatly. I don’t think about anything while I’m doing it, it’s just a turn on. It is a kind of “sex”, and is very exciting right up until the orgasm.

Shannon/BME: Do you think that you have strengthened your immune system with this sort of play?

FK: My immune system is naturally extremely strong. I’ve never had an infection or other complication, in my entire life, which is already quite unusual. I can eat poisonous fruits and mushrooms without difficulty. Drugs and narcotics are almost completely ineffective on me — a few years ago I had surgery with general anesthetisia and I required three times the normal dose!

Shannon/BME: It’s as if you’re a “superhero”…

FK: It’s a mystery to me as to why my immune system is so durable! As I said, I’ve never had any inflammation or infection my whole life. The only reason I stopped was because of the scars, but on the other hand, the scars are a sort of body decoration that I carry with pride. Perhaps I’ll do it sometime again.

Shannon/BME: Have there been any complications from your play?

FK: Other than some bleeding, I’ve never seen any danger in what I do, but I know my body very well. If I push a metal bar through my belly, I always remain in the fatty tissue, in order to not hurt anything vital. I do not sterilize the items but I clean them with soap and water — as I said, I am practically immune to germs. If I wasn’t like that, I’d probably not be here right now!

Shannon/BME: …and how in the world did you find out that you could survive poisons???

FK: That was coincidence — as a child I ate eat poisonous mushrooms and had no complaints! Then when I went to the dentist the anesthetic didn’t work — getting a tooth pulled without it is not fun! Later, in the hospital, for a tooth operation they put me completely under, and afterwards the anestheologist told me the does could have killed a cow… A while ago I smoked a joint with a friend. It was strong and my friend was totally stoned, but I couldn’t feel it — I’d probably have to smoke a whole lawn to get stoned!

Shannon/BME: Do narcotics work at all for you?

FK: Haha, yes, but I have to take a lot! Everything works, I just have to take a larger quantity than others.

Shannon/BME: What made you decide to document it with photos and videos?

FK: I always photographed and videotaped it so I could watch it over and over and remember it, especially because I don’t do this type of play any more. The last scene I did was the one you see in the “stomach torture” video on BMEvideo.

Shannon/BME: Do you do other play or body modification as well?

FK: My other passion is extreme anal expansion. I insert bottles, fruit, and other things into my ass. In addition, I enjoy fisting myself and being fisted by others. I don’t have any tattoos, but I have piercings in my cock, scrotum, and nipples.

Shannon/BME: How do you explain your scars to partners?

FK: I tell them a story about how I went through a window. Many of my scars are actually from a car accident about twelve years ago — I was almost cut in half due to the car not having safety glass… My current partner is not bothered by the scars, but finds it all a bit mad. He mostly fists me, and says that he likes the scars a lot.

Shannon/BME: Did you heal well after your car accident as well (I assume that wasn’t exciting sexually)?

FK: Yes, amazingly fast. I had a broken nose, a dislocated shoulder, cracked ribs, and my belly was nearly completely slit open. It was definitely not sexually exciting, but after three weeks I was back at work farming fish.

Shannon/BME: I hope this isn’t a silly question, but do you consider yourself a sort of “fakir” or is there any spiritual aspect to what you do?

FK: It’s not a silly question, but quite justified. However, there is no spiritual aspect and I am not a fakir. I much prefer sleeping on a comfortable mattress than a bed of nails!


Shannon Larratt
BME.com

Shook Up

Since today’s theme is “complain that Shannon posts the same pretty girls over and over” day, let me continue the trend with the striking and beautiful Liska. Her 1.6mm/14ga nipples are by Johan at Aeon in Lule (in Northern Sweden)… Previously: “Liska, Liska, Liska” (if you say that three times — or is it five? — in the mirror she will appear and murder you).