Tag Archives: immature-internet-humor

You call that a septum ring?

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Those of you who are Christians and believe the Bible is the word of gawd, or who buy into the many “photos” of archeological dig sites showing it, there was a time when Andrew the Giant was known as Andre the Dwarf. Genesis chapter six begins (and you can look this up if you don’t believe me, I’m not pranking you),

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

But what you might not know is that the Archbishop of Canterbury, when doing the King James Bible edit, removed the next line, which reads, “And those giants, they were pierced, they were pierced with fucking giant rings.” Carl, an archeologist at the California Tattoo Company, theorizes that the ring he discovered on a recent excavation is a septum ring, but I know better. It’s not called a Prince Gibborim for nothing you know. Zoom in if you’d like, by the way.

Bubbles and Blindfolds

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It’s the weekend — and a long weekend here in Canada — so I hope you can permit me to post a couple of silly YouTube videos. The first one I want to share with you is of our old friend Rafa Mendes, who you probably know has a ginormous lip plate. If you’ve ever watched videos of indigenous cultures that wear large lip plates eating and drinking, you know that they sometimes integrate their lip discs into the activity, using them as bowls and such from time to time. Rafa takes a trip down that road and uses his to blow soap bubbles in this clip.

I’ve got to post a thumbnail of that as well because it’s just so charming. The size of your lip disc may not determine the size of your wedding dowry any more, but it does at least determine how much fun you’re going to have entertaining the little kids at the the wedding you’re invited to!

The other video is maybe a bit more controversial, and for the obvious reasons you’d assume when I tell you it’s filed in the “Dildo” category. That’s because it’s my friend from Dildo Tattoo Studio (dildostudio.gr) in Greece having some maniacal fun doing a “piercer challenge” at the shop to test their piercing kung fu… That’s right… BLINDFOLDED PIERCING. They tell me that the next challenge is a blindfolded eyebrow piercing. I hope they’re kidding — the only time I want to see a needle in the eyeball is when it’s injecting ink.

Ok, I mostly hope they’re kidding.

And before you get all stick-up-your-ass cranky about this, these are all friends just goofing around together. It’s harmless fun. Or I should say “low harm fun”. Either way, it makes me happy to see people having fun.

How The Zeta Reticuli Exchange Program Began

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If we learned anything from Project Serpo [serpo.org], it’s that the Zeta Reticulans fucking love flesh hooks.

Seriously, is it just me, or does resurrection suspension really look a lot like some sort of Fire In The Sky sort of alien abduction? I guess I see aliens before resurrection because I was brought up on science fiction, not on the Bible, so when someone is being drawn up into the skies, it’s an act of the Greys, not an act of God. This picture is from the wonderful suspension campout that I posted earlier in the week — be sure to check out that entry if you haven’t already seen it.

Click the picture to see the original, as it really happened.

Juggalo Jesse in Ink

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I can’t imagine there’s a single BME regular who doesn’t know Jesse Star, and many of us have known him throughout his remarkable body modification journey (which I’m sure is still ongoing). I was both amused and pleased to see the tattoo that Josh Taylor got in the middle of his back. Yes, it’s true, it’s getting covered up as he blackens himself, but still, I think Jesse can say he’s reached a certain level of bodmod success if people are tattooing his visage on themselves, even temporarily. But my favorite part of the story is that they haven’t just tattooed over him in a single step. As they’re getting close to finished, they’ve “updated” Josh’s Jesse into Juggalo mode!

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Click to zoom that picture for a close-up view of the tattoos. The inset picture is how it started of course. For those that haven’t seen Jesse Star lately, I have to share a recent picture showing a small part of his wonderful collection of body modifications.

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Foreheadmageddon

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Oh, Joeltron…

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Keep reading after the break to see exactly how this contraption was installed.

Hopefully enough people had the momentary whimsy of not realizing that was a photoshop job on the jewelry? Side note; I sure do love Joeltron’s eyeball tattoo by the way — the bright green that both he and now Eva Medusa have (gosh I love that when I post on ModBlog, rather than just on Facebook, I can actually easily find old entries and link to them!!!) is such a great colour for eyeballs. Now if we could only figure out how to do mirrored eyes…

Anyway, what you’re actually looking at is the jewelry that Joeltron (firstblood.com.au and joeltron.com) used on Sally Hacket’s ear, one of his chaotic and technological trondustrials. They’re a bit of a love it or hate it aesthetic I think, with some people seeing them as neo-cyberpunk masterpieces, and other people seeing them as the earwork version of a scribble. In this case he built the jewelry out of an Industrial Strength connecty bit, Anatometal hearts and barbells, and “lots of joiny doo-dads and miscellaneous bits”. If you look carefully you can see the divets where the pieces all connect. Unlike most industrials of this type, Joeltron builds out of smaller components joined together to make a larger whole, rather than bending a single long bar into a complex shape — this technique adds to the high-tech sci-fi look that he’s going for I think (zoom for a closer look).

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Rolf’s new Cyber Cell jewelry from Samppa

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A couple days ago Samppa Von Cyborg just installed this great classic Cyber Cell bar into “piercing and suspension celebrity and record holder” Rolf Buchholz. I say “classic” because Samppa made this jewelry way back in 2004, but has been saving it for something special — and when it comes to piercing, there are few as special as Rolf, and Samppa felt the time was perfect to do it for him as a gift. In addition to doing this piercing, he also implanted three hearts (I’m going to assume that this means heart-shaped implants, not three superhuman redundant hearts to make Rolf unkillable, although with Samppa you can never be sure) and a pair of strong magnets.

rolfbar

I should mention that Rolf is lucky to be alive — look what happened at the recent warehouse suspension hosted by Muffe Vulnuz. Rolf was nearly eaten!!! Thank God he’s alright, because it would have been a real shame for this community to lose such a remarkable character. Damn those giant suspendee-devouring nephilim that are always sniffing out blood and metal and rope.

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