[YouTube] Ha ha, so, you guys are all familiar with vampiric fashionista Christian Audigier and his fancy line of premium Ed Hardy T-shirts/underpants/bed sheets/catheters/crack pipes/etc., yes? These tattoo-culture-appropriating items haven’t been particularly popular among some of the, shall we say, more thoughtful fans of body modification, but finally, there is a trio of men brave enough to stand up to this corporate nightmare, via an old-fashioned rap diss track. Hooray! Andy Milonakis, Dirt Nasty and Rich Hill have joined forces to craft this masterpiece of the modern age, succinctly titled, “Fuck Ed Hardy.” We were kind of hoping this would have been the straw to break the camel’s back and sent Audigier on trip inside his psyche, questioning his motives and finally renouncing the dumb clothes he’s been making a mint off of, but apparently he just chuckled and then went about his day, unfortunately. Oh well. Even still, this is worth it just for the line, “It looks like a dragon threw up on your dick.” Oh yeah, NSFW, etc.
[WSMV] Look, we don’t know how many times we have to tell you that, above all else, BME is for the children—we are saying it constantly, in auditoriums and bodegas around the country, basically to anybody who will listen, and still our advice goes ignored, time and time again. So let us just say this one more time: temporary tattoos are trying to kill your children. Remember? Remember? This has happened at least three times now: Some innocent kid gets some low-grade henna at the mall or something and it ends up burning the shit out of them, permanently, and only once did the kid’s parents have the foresight to give him the bad-ass name “Cannon Cribb.” These other youngsters? Shit outta luck. Here’s the latest tale, straight out of Nashville:
An 11-year-old girl who recently received a temporary tattoo at an Opry Mills mall kiosk was left with painful and permanent scars.
The child’s mother said it was meant to be a simple symbol of softball team spirit, but her daughter was left scarred and burned.
“Each time a blister would bust, another one would form,” said the child’s mother, Tammy.
[The family’s attorney] believes the girl’s injuries point to a type of henna known as black henna. It’s a chemical the FDA won’t allow for the temporary tattoos because it can cause this type of reaction.
“She has a lot of kids that’ll ask her, ‘Oh, you got a tattoo.’ And she has to go and explain, ‘No, I don’t. This is what happened to me,’” said Tammy. “I don’t want any more kids to get hurt.”
How many more children will automatically become the coolest kids in their school before this menace is stopped? Seriously though, whoever the mutants are who are just painting kids with this poison willy-nilly, you are worse than Mecha-Hitler.
[Twitter] And finally, the Meghan McCain Reality Tour keeps on truckin’! The almost-first-daughter of yesteryear has been known to display something of an “independence streak,” often talking about how much she loves the ol’ counter-culture, which is probably very troubling to her poor family. Below is a recent “tweet” missive of hers, in which she does nothing to dissuade us of the theory that her Twitter account is ghost-written by Marisa from Needles and Sins. (Kidding! Kidding! Love you, Marisa!)
Tattoo Hollywood, BME’s first tattoo convention, is coming to Los Angeles from August 21-23, featuring contests, prizes and some of the best artists from around the world! Click here for more information.