Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 22, 2009)

Posted on June 22, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

[Telegraph] Holy shit, you guys! It happened, it finally happened! Our long, national nightmare is finally over! After a solid week of mind-numbing idiocy and hilariously poorly thought out lies, one of the great dumb stories of our time has reached its logical conclusion. Are you ready for this, folks? Get a beverage, find a comfortable seat and let the warm sunshine wash over you as we collectively revel in what we can only imagine will be the last we hear of this foolishness, at least until Chuckles over there gets cast on Big Brother UK or something. Anyway, that whole canard about falling asleep in the chair at the tattoo shop? LIES, LIES, BALD-FACED LIES.

Kimberley Vlaminck had insisted she dozed off after asking the tattooist for just three small stars – then woke in horror to find her face was covered.

[…]

Amid a frenzy of media attention, she then pledged to sue the tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, for the £9,000 she needed for laser surgery to have them removed.

She said after the tattooing last week: “It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak.”

But the 18-year-old has finally confessed she did not fall asleep, that she wanted all the stars and was “fully aware” of what Mr Toumaniantz was doing.

Ms Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew: “I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and the tattooist made a mistake.”

And so ends the ignominious tale of a common boob. As mentioned above, though, if history has taught us anything, she will be back, probably on a reality program, or getting punched in the face by a big foam fist on some Japanese-style game show. We can only hope.

[Edmonton Sun] Last week, we mentioned the story of Zipp’s Tattoo and Museum, the Edmonton, Alberta, tattoo shop that has been shuttered for, among other reasons, miserably failing to meet basic standards of cleanliness, evidenced by the fact that this goon was tattooing animals in the same place as humans. This is typically frowned upon. Luckily, it seems like some good might come out of this! Mike Francis, owner of Little Buddha Tattoo & Piercings, is now trying to mobilize artists and shop owners in the area to be as public and forthcoming as possible with regard to their commitment to meeting safety standards.

[Francis] started a Facebook group for local studios to post spore test results of sterilization machines, inspection dates and other sanitation information for potential clients to check out while researching studios.

Francis, who laments the lack of licensing in the industry, said he’s intended to create the group for awhile, but the recent scare at Zipp’s Tattoo & Museum was “the final straw.”

[…]

The closure has been an embarrassment to reputable studios in the city, Francis said.

“What I’m hoping (the Facebook group) is going to do is people are going to investigate their tattoo studios around the city,” he said. “I don’t care if it’s me or (another studio), at least you’ll be able to go through it and see we do a regular spore test.”

While his studio hasn’t felt any economic impact from the incident yet, clients are clearly unsettled.

“My first appointment today was at 12 p.m. and the first thing out of his mouth was, ‘You’re using clean needles, right?’” he recalled.

In the description of the group, Sterile Tattoo & Piercing Studios In and Around Edmonton, he wrote, “As a studio owner, let’s try to change what others have destroyed.”

Well hey, this is a solid idea! Now, some may feel it’s an invasion of sorts and that this sort of disclosure may lead to a situation where individuals and shops are put into a position to preemptively prove their innocence rather than defend themselves against accusations of guilt, but it’s still hard to not see these sorts of actions as promising steps toward further acceptance in the public eye. Jason McDonald, the environmental public health officer who pulled the plug on Zipp’s, has the money quote at the end of the article: “There are roughly 50 studios in the Edmonton area and they’re generally in compliance and doing a good thing. I would get a tattoo in any of the studios open today. That’s the key message: this is a safe industry.”

[His Hair Clinic] And finally, some more good news. (Though this may be old news and simply news to me. News, news. News.) Apparently, tattoos are no longer just something you wake up with on your face after falling asleep in sundry locales, but they can also do some good if used properly! Like, say, the folks at His Hair Clinic are doing—now, grown men needn’t any longer face the gross indignity of receding hairlines! As you can see, the cosmetic scientists at work here simply give you a close noggin shave, then tattoo a realistic-looking hairline, giving you the hirsute appearance you crave. On the downside, due to these facial/head tattoos, these gentlemen will never be able to get jobs again. Sad.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 11, 2009)

Posted on June 11, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

[Shutdown Corner] Well, here’s the biggest tattoo-related non-story of the day. Chad Ochocinco, the Cincinnati Bengals safety formerly known as Chad Johnson, is, for those unfamiliar with the NFL, one of the bigger clowns in the league. (See: Legally changing his last name to a mangled Spanish translation of his jersey number.) Anyway! Mr. Ochocinco, like so many athletes, has wandered into the land of Twitteronia, and made this startling announcement yesterday:

Yall might not believe me but my tatoo guy is here and i getting my face done, looks cool to, dont be mad just accept the Ocho please

The tattoo, as you can see, is of America’s wang, the state of Florida. Has your world been turned upside down? Well, keep your head on, folks: It was just a gag! Yep, this prankster just had someone Photoshop a smudge onto his mug. Ha ha, hilarious…?

The entire twitt world and media outlets got punked, that was my twitt joke from yesterday, they follow I’ll have fun with it.

My grandma would kill me if I had damn facial tatts!!! Fun while it lasted, back to normal, I felt different to.

In conclusion, you are never getting those five minutes or wasted brain cells back.

[The Globe and Mail] Whoa ho, what’s this? Actual good legal news about tattoos? It is! Nadine Bélisle, a daycare worker in Quebec, has been embroiled in a legal battle for five years now over whether or not she should be allowed to display the tattoo on her shoulder while on the job. Well, the results are in, and a Quebec Superior Court judge has decided that the policy that forced her to cover up was, in fact, a violation of her rights. Hot damn.

“Five years of frustrations have collapsed. I’m thrilled,” Ms. Bélisle, 35, said in an interview yesterday from her home in Saguenay. “This is a question of human rights, of freedom of expression.”

The May 27 ruling brings legal heft to the murky question of what’s appropriate to wear in the workplace, at a time of relaxing attitudes to dress codes. While body piercings and dressing down seem to be gaining acceptance, there are signs that more employers are drawing the line. This week, University of Montreal hospitals adopted dress codes for employees that prohibit jeans, short skirts and tattoos deemed to be in bad taste.

For Ms. Bélisle’s union, the visible-tattoo ban by the CPE La Pirouette, one of Quebec’s publicly funded daycares, went too far.

“Publicly funded” being the operative term there, I believe. I’m not sure whether or not this sort of ruling would apply to private businesses, and whether or not private enterprises should be beholden to the same standards of personnel decisions as public businesses is another matter altogether. As far as this case is concerned, the daycare’s position was that, while some tattoos are surely inoffensive, some may not be appropriate for the environment, and so a blanket ban was, for them, preferable to having to decide what was acceptable on a case-by-case basis. The ban, however, was determined to be prejudicial in nature, and that while violent or vulgar tattoos will still have to be covered, the majority will be free for display:

“Tattooing nowadays is a phenomenon that cuts across all levels of society,” [Judge Jean Bouchard] wrote. “If it was once associated with delinquents, that’s no longer the case.”

The daycare’s policy forced an employee with a tattoo of a butterfly or flower on her forearm or calf to wear pants or a long-sleeved shirt, even while working under a hot summertime sun, he wrote.

“This is, in the opinion of the court, ridiculous and outrageous.”

The daycare will still have the right to prohibit inappropriate tattoos including those expressing violence.

And that, well, that’s a fine precedent to set.

[Jason Dunn] And finally, Jason Dunn, a techie fella from Calgary, was vacationing in Japan when he came across this tattoo studio, bearing what he thinks may just be the worst (or at least the funniest) name for a tattoo studio possible. Oh, comical translations. We’ll let FailBlog decide.

The Dumbest Story You’ll Read All Day You’ve Read Every Day, Forever

Posted on June 8, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

Confession time: I have been purposely avoiding writing about this “story” because it is such a stupid fabrication, but for some godforsaken reason it has sadly become a legitimate news meme—indeed, it seems to have usurped that rash of, “Hey Even Your GRANDMA Is Getting Tattooed Now” pieces from late last year—and has seriously been repeated at least 20 times in various outlets over the past few weeks, so, whatever, let’s pick one at random. Anyway, remember those glorious salad days when people were just getting tattooed all the time, without a care in the world, because there were JOBS? Well, now that the world economy has been assassinated and all of our money has been shot into space to make room for all of the inconsiderate over-populators, lots of newspapers and TV stations are reporting that tattoo-removal businesses are the new kings of earth, paragons of solvency and all sorts of other things that probably aren’t true. Here is the tale of one such master race from New Mexico:

Many are afraid that a simple tattoo could keep them from getting a job, so many of them are making a date with a laser.

Dr. Lauren Chavez runs Clear Waves Laser Center and says a lot more people want to get rid of visible tattoos.

Chavez said Friday, “We seen just in the last couple of months…a really high increase in desire for tattoo removal on the hands, wrists, neck, face anywhere that’s visible.”

She said, “Some of them tell me that their hopefully future employer told them that they wouldn’t hide them, because of the visible tattoo. Some employers have even offered to pay for it, which is awful surprising…and that was a local bank.”

A local bank, you say? Well holy shit! What more incontrovertible evidence could you possibly need? See, this is the kind of non-reporting that comprises damn-near every “trend-spotting” article of this sort and truly makes my balls ache above most other things. This canard arguably originated in this May 24, 2009, New York Post article, which was similarly light on facts and relied on a thimbleful of weak-ass anecdotal evidence, but hey, tattoo-removal centers probably appreciated the press, right? So they fanned out across the country, calling up their local understaffed newspapers and news stations and whatnot to say, “Hey, this isn’t only happening in big old New York! This very popular trend is also occurring right under your noses!”

And so a bogus, wholly manufactured and preposterous “trend” is born. Are people getting tattoos removed these days? They surely are. Is it happening en masse because a generation of these ink-stained hoodlums is desperately seeking recession-proof work in the private sector? Ha ha NO, that is almost definitely NOT what is happening, except you wouldn’t know it by the almost daily articles on this very subject, everywhere. Phew. In conclusion, this, like most things, is probably the Post‘s fault.

More Job Seekers Getting Tattoos Removed [KOB.com]

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 1, 2009)

Posted on June 1, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

[Gizmodo] We’ve written previously about some gent who got a BlackBerry tattoo in exchange for one of the then-new Storm devices, which, hey—the economy’s in the shitter, so you do what you’ve gotta do to get your gadgets, I guess. Well, today my friend Adam over at Gizmodo checked in with a similar story (via PreCentral) of a man so desperate for a free Palm Pre that he got it tattooed on his shoulder. Success!

This isn’t some guy who’s covered in tattoos already, either. This is Lou’s very first and only tattoo, a bit ugly Palm Pre right on his shoulder. He will get his precious smartphone courtesy of PreCentral.net, but you’ve gotta wonder how long it’ll be before he starts trying to get a different website to pay for the laser removal. I mean, for chrissakes, the free phone is only worth $199! Come on, Lou, you could have gotten so much more for an equally embarrassing tattoo if you only knew how to market yourself.

Frucci makes a valid point. I’d be willing to bet a GM logo covering your back would net you an entire fleet of Pontiac vehicles that were otherwise destined to be melted down and used for, I don’t know, soup cans? Segways? Whatever.

[National Ledger] Megan Fox and her tattoos have found their way onto here before, and because she is in the news every day, several times a day, talking about all the WILD and CRAZY and REBELLIOUS stuff she constantly does (did you know she is a bisexual cage-fighting lion-taming astronaut? It’s probably true!), well, let’s just check in with her latest tattoo-related news, just because:

he sexy Transformers star already has seven tattoos – including one of movie icon Marilyn Monroe on her right arm.

Fox said: “I’m going to sleeve my arm.” Fox has previously told how she doesn’t care what other people think of her tattoos – and even threatened to quit Hollywood if they cost her a movie role. She said: “Every time I get a tattoo, it’s a little f***-you to anyone who tells me not to. I like the way getting a tattoo feels.”

I have to say, I’m a fan of the idea of one of the most popular young actors with a full sleeve, and getting it ostensibly because she really loves tattoos (as manufactured as much of her personality may very well be.) She then goes on to lie about going to work at Costco if she ever lost a movie role because of her tattoos, which, hey, that’s sweet.

[ABC Local] And hey, let’s finish up with a legitimately positive and heartwarming story. Chicago’s got a problem with gangs as bad as anywhere, and even once gang members try to get on with their lives, their tattoos may lead people to believe they’re still immersed in that sort of violent culture. Well, Eric Dean Spruth of South Side Tattoos in Chicago is the director of a program called Sacred Transformations, which will cover-up and modify any former gang member’s gang tattoos, free of charge.

“We allow people to empower themselves through identifying a new mark, a new horizon in their life, something they can be proud of,” said Spruth.

[…]

For [Luis] Corral, the new tattoos mean a new chance at life.

“Now I can go anywhere I want, and not worry about, hey, if I die today, it ain’t because of my tattoos, you know what I’m saying, it ain’t because I got gang tattoos on me,” said Corral.

Great stuff. Check out the video below.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (May 29, 2009)

Posted on May 29, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

108

[Comics.com] Oh hey look, up there, it’s our old friend Burnaby Q. Horatio Marcus Longfellow “Crump-Daddy” Orbax, immortalized in comic-form, courtesy of the good folks at Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! The comic is all about how Orbax, when not munching glass or whatever he does in his spare time, is actually some kind of sell-out nerd professor of “physics,” whatever the hell that is. Hey freak, make with the laughs! (Click the Comics.com link to see it in all its full-sized glory.)

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution] Well, no laughs here. A few days ago, some idiot drunken goblin named Eugene Ashley decided it’d be a grand idea to tattoo his three-year-old son’s shoulder with the initials “DB,” allegedly standing for “Daddy’s Boy.” Hey, that’s fun bonding experience, right? No? Yeah, not so much.

The tattoo was discovered after an unidentified person complained to the Department of Family and Children Services about the conditions at the Ashley home. The Ashleys have three or four children, Davis said.

“You keep thinking you’ve seen it all, and then voila,” Davis said.

The children remain with their mother; Eugene Ashley was arrested May 21 and faces charges of child cruelty and tattooing a person younger than 18 years old, the latter being a misdemeanor, Davis said.

Interestingly, Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, a columnist for the Journal-Constitution, when discussing this shit-bird in a subsequent column, raised a point not uncommon to the likes of BME and its community, but one particularly foreign to the average AJC reader: Is this really much worse than piercing a baby’s ears or circumcising a newborn?

I get that there’s a law about not tattooing someone under 18, but why is that more worthy of a law than the other two? Is it simply because the other two are done more frequently so they have become socially acceptable?

[…]

Piercings (at least in ears) can close back up, but circumcision can hardly be reversed. I have heard of a method of stretching the foreskin back over the head of the penis using weights but that doesn’t sound easy. Laser surgery to remove tattoos seems preferable to trying to “re-grow” your foreskin.

Are tattoos more painful than piercing or circumcision? Not sure that’s true.

I’m not promoting tattoos for toddler and babies, I’m just wondering if there is a double standard of what is acceptable to do to a child?

Somebody get this lady a wheelbarrow in which to carry her massive balls! Whether you agree with her or not (and I don’t think she even really indicated whether or not she necessarily believes the argument she’s put forth), this isn’t a conversation that occurs among the general public very often, and it’s one that should probably be had. So, Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, we salute you for opening up the dialogue about a tricky subject at a difficult time. What say your commenters?

“Wow, trying to stoke some fires and save your job at the AJC with crap like this? Why not talk about Mike Vick too?

TATOO= PERMANENT AND ARTISTIC EXPRESSION (for adults)
PIERCED EARS= GHETTO TRASH
CIRCUMCISION= HEALTH BENEFITS, and doesn’t give your son a odd looking member.”

[…]

“My granddaughter got her ears pierced at 9 months old and she didn’t cry. How can you compare THAT to a tattoo. You people are nuts! lol”

[…]

“Are you seriously comparing tattoos to circumcision? Need I say more? Thought not, I rest my case.”

(In all fairness, there are a surprising amount of reasonable and rational discussions going on in the comments there.)

[YouTube] Astute reader “Cassie” sends in this charming YouTube clip on everybody’s favorite egg-laying water mammal, the platypus! Why are we posting it here? Because, in addition to being suckers for weird and/or cute animals, it also features several segments with Stephen Kolomyjec from James Cook University, who is all pierced and tattooed and whatnot, and is working on genetic research for platypuses. And hey, we like to show off modified professionals whenever we can. (See: Orbaxy up top.) Stephen pops up around the 1:14 mark.

The NBA Is Destroying America, Again, With Tattoos

Posted on May 27, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

Hey everybody, it’s the NBA playoffs! You know what that means, right? You guessed it: idiotic columns from hateful jerk-offs about how tattoos are ruining the NBA! This time around, we’ve got Kyle McNary of the Minneapolis Sports Examiner waxing moronic. Does this horseshit warrant an FJM-style takedown? Oh, hell yes.

It sounds superficial. It probably is superficial. But, watching the NBA has become almost a chore for me, not because the talent is diluted and the art of great passing is all but gone, though it most certainly is, but because more than three quarters of NBA players have ugly tattoos.

I’m going to make a wild assumption here and guess that McNary hasn’t actually been an NBA fan in quite some time. He thinks the quality of game-play has declined, but that’s not why it’s a “chore” for him to watch—it’s because of the tattoos! This is akin to saying you have trouble watching NASCAR because of all the stickers on the cars, or that the San Diego Padres are unwatchable when they’re wearing those hideous camouflage jerseys. (When, in fact, both NASCAR and the Padres are unwatchable for entirely different reasons.) (Because they are both terrible, you see.)

Yes, I’m prejudiced against people with tattoos. I think they made a big mistake, I question their decision-making skills, and I think they probably lack in self esteem.

This sort of silly screed almost always retreats to this argument—that tattoos are absolutely a sign of lacking self-esteem. This has become the “terrorists hate us for our freedom” of the anti-tattoo crowd.

I think a small tattoo on a sailor’s forearm is okay, but more than a silver dollar size is too much. I think they make women look trashy, hence the word “tramp stamp,” though Beyonce could have her whole body tattooed and she’s (sic) still be gorgeous. I guess I just don’t get it.

Hey, all you men and women in the Navy, listen up. Kyle McNary thinks it’s just fine and dandy to get a small anchor or a single pair of breasts tattooed on your forearm, but anything more than that is probably a sign of a mind so wrought with self-image issues that you are unfit to serve the nation. He is correct. Beyonce, however, may cover herself in all the shitty tattoos she pleases, and Mr. McNary will be happy to continue to pleasure himself to her, because she would still be a strong and confident woman.

Evidently, when McNary says he doesn’t “get it,” “it” refers to “how to construct a meaningful and consistent argument.”

I’ve been watching the conference finals the past week, and the games have been pretty exciting.

Even though the NBA sucks now, right?

Not many people would have guessed that the Orlando Magic would be a Lebron three-pointer away from leading three games to none. But….I can’t get past these tattoos.

There are two players, one in each series, who must have OCTD–Obsessive Compulsive Tattoo Disorder.

One of the many dreaded side-effects of low self-esteem, naturally. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT OCTD!

On the Cleveland Cavaliers, Delonte West looks like he belongs in a circus. After filling up both arms, West actually walked into a tattoo parlor and said, “stick some needles in my neck.” It’s hard to tell where one ends and another starts, but he has at least a dozen tattoos, and looks like a moron. Sorry, but he does.

You know, Delonte West and I very rarely hang out, so I can’t say for certain, but…oh Christ, yes, I can say for certain that he did not actually walk into a tattoo parlor and say, “Stick some needles in my neck.” This is not the way people speak to each other. When you head to Olive Garden for your weekly pre-Idol free breadsticks, do you demand from your waiter, “HEY, CRAM SOME STARCHES IN MY FACE”?

In the West, the Denver Nuggets’ Chris Anderson is nicknamed “birdman,” supposedly because he can fly to the basket, and he flaps his arms after a big play. I actually think it’s a good nickname because he looks like a peacock.

Awesome. Nailed it. Great joke.

Basketball, when played right, can be a thing of beauty. But, the two-bit punk attitudes, tattoos and chest-beating has made a great sport look like a thug convention.

So, your problems with basketball currently include:

– Diluted talent pool
– Poor passing techniques
– Tattoos
– Punk attitudes
– Flashy play/“chest-beating”

So, you’re bothered by the quality of the athletes, the culture of the game and participants themselves…maybe, just maybe, you’ve outgrown the NBA? Seriously. There’s no shame in admitting that you and a former passion have moved in opposite directions as time has gone on. If the NBA offends you so much, why not stick to college ball, or the WNBA? Why punish yourself with continued patronage of a league with which you no longer feel a connection?

The Indiana Pacers’ Marquis Daniels had a tattoo of a man committing suicide (lovely), Gilbert Arenas has the words “change we believe in” on his fingers in honor of Barack Obama, Luke Walton has a tattoo in honor of the Grateful Dead, and Tim Duncan has a tattoo covering his chest in honor of the nerdy game Dungeons and Dragons. The most idiotic reason for getting a tattoo? Amare Stoudemire wins the award. The Sun’s star claims that “if I died right now, my kids could get to know me by my tats.” Uh, Amare, why don’t you just talk to your kids!

First of all, it’s truly wonderful that admist all your incessant jabbering about how tattoos are a sign of the thug culture that’s destroying the NBA, you reference Gilbert Arenas’s Obama tattoo, Tim Duncan’s Dungeons and Dragons tattoo and Luke Walton’s Grateful Dead tribute. THUGGISHNESS ABOUNDS.

Also, Amare’s kids are about two and three years old. They’re barely human beings at this point. Maybe he’s covered himself with symbols important enough to him that his kids could maybe glean some insight into the man’s life once they’re able to, you know, speak and remember things?

Nah, you’re right. He’s probably just some absentee fuck-up covered with “gang tatz.” You goddamn clown.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (May 20, 2009)

Posted on May 20, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

[Fox 61] Hey, and they say visibly tattooed and pierced folks can’t get regular jobs! The video up top is a special investigation by FOX television’s Connecticut affiliate looking into a local band of bounty hunters (or Bail Enforcement Agents, as their jackets say), and oh look, IAM’s own Jeff “Phish” Goldblatt is among the head-breakers! Jeff, as many of you likely know, was a long-time body piercer (and still does some occasional piercing now, I believe), but these days, largely goes around kicking in doors and picking up fools who’ve skipped out on court dates and whatnot (all while being heavily tattooed and sporting stretched nostril piercings and such). Anyway, this video teaches a few things. First of all, I always figured cop shows were bullshitting when they showed officers literally kicking down doors like they were nothing, but apparently I am just weak. And second, when you want to get some folks riled up about your line of work, there’s no better soundtrack than Tool’s “Vicarious.”

[Winona Daily News] So here’s a fun new trend: Articles about tattoo shops that treat them like any other business! This one focuses on the issue of state regulation of “body art” studios, which is certainly worth discussing, and actually collects cogent and thoughtful arguments and points of view from a variety of sources. Ha ha, what?

[Chad Gregerson] remembered the lack of state guidelines when he ran a shop in Brooklyn Park, Minn., and he followed the seemingly annual back-and-forth by Minnesota legislators pushing for increased regulation during the past eight years while he was tattooing in La Crosse, Wis. As an artist in Wisconsin, however, he became familiar with that state’s guidelines on tattoo and body piercing shops, and he made exceeding those standards a goal for Tatu Royale – even if the shop was in a county and state that did not require it follow any specific guidelines, he said.

The author goes on to provide a fairly comprehensive (and not uninteresting) history of body art regulation in Winona County, dating back over 20 years. The relationship between tattoo and piercing shops and society as a whole has changed dramatically, of course, and many are coming around to the idea that interaction between the two sides mustn’t be adversarial. Some, however, see this as an argument against statewide regulations, since it’s this change in attitude that’s leading many shops to follow more rigorous health guidelines as determined by local authorities.

Winona County has not received a complaint related to a local tattoo shop in years, said Jill Johnson, county environmental services director. County officials considered local regulation about 10 years ago and determined it wasn’t needed.

The proposal put before the Legislature this year would have required a license for each body art shop, as well as for each artist. License fees likely would provide the state with a sizable return, but Kevin Leque, owner of Red Wing Tattoo in Winona, wonders whether it would be enough to finance enforcement.

He says regulation would hurt shops and do little to stop amateurs from giving tattoos out of their homes or at tattoo parties.

Gregerson disagrees, saying the entire body art industry would benefit if shops across the state were held to the same standards. Regulation would weed out many of the amateurs who make the mistakes that give reputable artists and shops a bad name, he said.

Regardless of one’s opinion on the matter at hand, it’s difficult to not be encouraged by the fact that this is a discussion that can now be held in public in a civilized and professional manner, free from paranoid non sequiturs—besides, those are the domain of the commenters:

laurie wrote on May 16, 2009 10:36 PM:
“I don’t think the government should regulate anything anymore! They are the reason we are in the recession now.
Whenever I hear of an F.D.A regulation I run as fast as I can the other direction.”

[…]

COSTANZA wrote on May 17, 2009 9:58 AM:
“I think what Lauire is talking about is the government is becoming to much like big brother. It is not the government responsibility to insure clean needles it should be the people’s own responsibility to make sure the tattoo is safe. If I get a tattoo I am going check up on the parlor and make sure every thing is clean and safe.”

Sigh.

[Denver Post] Continuing today’s unprecedented string of positive mainstream articles about tattoos (?!), here’s a fine piece about the Denver Nuggets, who, as we’ve mentioned before, are just cold covered in tattoos, and are now facing the L.A. Lakers in the NBA’s Western Conference Finals. (Anyone see the game last night? How in the hell do you have Carter do the inbound with three seconds left with Odom guarding him? Guhhh.) Anyway, the author speaks to a number of the players about their tattoos, and does a fine job of demystifying and debunking the “thug” label that’s been foisted upon them by many:

“I think tattoos are a little bit from a culture of warriors,” said Nuggets coach George Karl, who has considered but not taken the plunge of getting tattoos that match what his adult daughter and son wear. “I’m not comparing basketball players to warriors, but there’s nature of competition that’s always been compared to warriors. And I like symbolism.”

[…]

This season, [Chris Andersen] said with a smirk, “We might not lead the league in stats, but we do in tats.” Indeed, the Nuggets are linked by ink. But asked if this is a special situation, guard Anthony Carter said: “I don’t know if it’s special, because a lot of people think it’s ‘thug’ — they have a different interpretation of tattoos. And it’s by how (physical) we play, too.”

[…]

[During] one timeout at the Mavericks’ arena, the big screen featured a phony television commercial, in the spirit of those, “Here’s to you, Mr. . . .” Bud Light ads. It was titled “Mr. Overly Tattooed NBA Player” and featured photos of the visitors fromDenver. It came across as cutesy, but there was veiled condemnation.

“A lot of players do have meaningful tattoos, and a lot of people don’t understand it,” Carter said. “They think it’s for fashion and trying to look tough and stuff like that. But everybody has meaningful tattoos.”

[…]

Smith proudly proclaims himself “Mama’s boy” with a tattoo on his chest; he said Ida Smith “is my best friend. I can say anything to her. She always gives me good advice. And that helps me on the basketball court, because then I’m more free at mind.”

Carter and Martin also have maternal marks. Martin has red lips on his neck, those being the smackers of his girlfriend, rap artist Trina.

And while we’re on the subject of sports…

[YouTube] Let’s conclude this fine news round-up with Jimmy Kimmel’s recent interview with famed boxer and occasional crazy-person Mike Tyson, who seems uncharacteristically calm and lucid (or maybe medicated?). It’s an interesting conversation, and Tyson spends some time discussing his facial tattoo and why he got it in the first place. Would you believe he initially wanted a smattering of hearts and stars before a friend convinced him to go the tribal route? Because I absolutely, unequivocally do. I don’t know if there’s anything I believe more than that fact.

This Week in BME

Posted on May 15, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

If you listened to my last podcast with Brian (Perk900), you heard the story behind this picture. But if not! Well, Sarvas was minding his own business at last week’s APP convention in sunny Las Vegas, just walking around, but oh, the trail was blocked, by Buck Angel. A photo was requested, and each man insisted upon removing his shirt before any evidence of their meeting was recorded, and then Sarvas just started throwing Buck around like a damn rag doll. For more fun Vegas anecdotes, listen to my subsequent podcast with Brian, coming soon!

And that’ll be it for our week, folks. What went down this time around?

– We died of dysentery.

– Our scars healed beautifully.

– We got tattooed with a cat, just for kicks.

– We showed you our whole mouth, and you liked it.

– We were pirates.

– We went a-tightrope walkin’.

– We just straight up went crazy.

As per usual, we’ll be here a bit over the weekend, and then Monday morning we hit the ramp and fly back into orbit, clutching the little alien that’s grown so dear to us. Or something. Until then, stay safe, ModBloggers, have a good one, and, as always, thank you for your continued support of BME.

BME News and Notes: Video Edition

Posted on May 14, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

Hey, so, first things first, this here is a band from scenic Canada, North America, called The Ending, who have just filmed the fancy video for their song “Freakshow” that you see above. Now, normally, we don’t give preferential promotional space to bands (other than Pearl Jam, who I will promote forever and so help me God you will like it), but what do you know, they’ve got people doing all sorts of fun sideshow stuff in the video! Also, it features BME super-hunks Orbax, Sweet Pepper Klopek and Russ Foxx! Go look at your friends, people.

Moving right along, how would you like to be on television? Specifically, MTV? Well, here’s some pertinent information!

MTV’s True Life is casting for an upcoming episode and seeks young people, 16-26, at odds with their parents over their relationship; mainly because of their significant other’s interest in tattoos or body modification.

You can email your situation to [email protected], and be sure to include your name, age, location, phone number, and recent photo of yourself.

If anyone who reads this is featured on the show, please do everything you can to infiltrate MTV and punch everyone on The Hills in the balls.

And finally, apparently Playboy is too fancy to allow embedding of their videos, but this here is some kinda folk song dedicated to the Denver Nuggets and their tattoos. The Nuggets, who advanced to the NBA’s Western Conference Finals last night, are pretty much, to a person, covered from elbow to asshole in tattoos. The song isn’t hilarious, but hey, sports + tattoos + acoustic guitar + Playboy = Welcome to ModBlog!

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (May 11, 2009)

Posted on May 11, 2009 by Jordan Ginsberg

PHOTO: Chris Durbin

[Star-Telegram] Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new champion! It took five hours, but Jeremy Stroud of Arlington, Texas, is now the Guinness World Record holder for “most piercings” after being pierced with 1,197 18-gauge needles by Tyson Turk, breaking the old record of 900.

“After a while I guess the body just starts rejecting all the needles,” Stroud said. “It felt like my back was on fire and my arm was on fire. It was a totally different kind of pain. I just wanted those needles out of me.”

Stroud was hooked up to a heart monitor during the session.

“As soon as we got the needles out I was fine, but during I started to get really slow, and my pulse jumped up to 130.”

Stroud, a diesel mechanic, also had two EMTs on site just to make sure he was well taken care of. When reached for comment, Brent Moffatt opened his window and looked out at the sunset for a long, long while. But surely the readers of the Arlington Star-Telegram were impressed with Stroud’s new record, right?

“Let’s mainstream these freaks by putting the article on the front page.” What a way to run a newspaper……

[…]

Thank you ST for putting this on the front page of the Arlington section.(and with pictures). My kids win. I guess I don’t get it. I’ve been trying to teach them to respect their bodies and to think what kind of impression this is going to make when you go interview for a job. I guess they are right, I just don’t get it. As they say, it’s so cool the newspaper puts it on the front page, all the rappers have them all over their body and they make more money than you, and have you seen all the NBA players? It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, but I’m starting to finally see what’s really important.

Oh…right.

[Wicked Local] What the…really? People are still talking about that goddamned tattooed Barbie doll? Is there literally nothing else going on? Has the last pig lost its job? Whatever. Lloyd Garver is a television writer, and actually comes out opposite of where even he expected he would in the eternal, “What’s the deal with tattoos?” debate: He’s OK with them! Sort of!

I admit I was somewhat shocked when I heard about Barbie and body art. My first reaction was, “Now parents of 7-year-olds are going to have to deal with them wanting tattoos.”

But then I did something uncharacteristic for me: I started thinking. [Ed. note: Zinggggg.] Maybe anti-Barbie papers aren’t the only theses in those dusty university archives. Maybe there are some with titles like, “Relax, Folks. Barbie Isn’t a Role Model. It’s Just a Toy.” Or if there aren’t any, there should be.

When you were a kid, weren’t you able to tell the difference between a toy and something real? When you played “war” with a friend, didn’t you know you were just playing? And did your putting on temporary tattoos make you get real ones? Besides, isn’t it a bit ironic that the anti-Barbie-ites who feel that the doll puts too much emphasis on appearance are concerned with the appearance of tattoos?

The sound you hear is an army of American Family Association members marching to Garver’s house with pitchforks, ready to burn him for being a witch.

I confess that I’m still getting used to looking at tattoos without making any kind of knee-jerk judgment about the wearer. Whenever I go on vacation where there’s a swimming pool, I’m still a little surprised by the fact that the nice couple we sat next to at dinner the night before has more tattoos than a basketball team. And guess what? Barbie’s the same age as that couple. She’s 50 now. She might not look like it, but many 50-year-old women don’t look their age these days. So maybe it’s fitting that 50-year-old Barbie has broken out the tattoos.

Garver, in the past, wrote for sitcoms like Family Ties, Home Improvement and Frasier—decidedly conservative shows for the most part, all of which probably featured an episode or several that relied on hoary old cliches of tattooed and pierced miscreants causing trouble for various well-to-do folks. This is a pitifully small sample size to say this editorial is indicative of, well, anything, but it’s encouraging nonetheless to see a guy getting on in years roll with the times.

So I can certainly accept Barbie wearing tattoos. But I do think you have to draw the line. Where? I’ll tell you where, and this is a warning to the people at Mattel: Don’t even think about making a Ken doll with pierced body parts.

Ha ha, this fuckin’ guy.

[Daily Mail] Well here’s some important news! Apparently Ferris Bueller and whatshername, that one with the shoes?, Sarah Jessica Parker, aren’t having much luck in the baby-making department, and so have rented out the uterus of a nice woman who…oh, crap:

Michelle Ross is a tattooed, bisexual rock music fan, who has previously acted as a surrogate for a New York gay couple.

The 26-year-old, who is thought to have been selected by the Sex And The City Star and her husband Matthew Broderick, has a chequered history as a mother, it has been reported.

[…]

‘I have had pink hair and tattoos and spiked collars,’ she wrote on [MySpace].

‘My favourite shoes are five-inch black spike heels which lace up the front.

‘I love metal and rock down to the bones.’

Michelle has a tattoo on one of her wrists of an overlapped pink and blue triangle, a symbol for bisexuality.

On MySpace Ross identifies herself as ‘bi’, according to Star.

Why is this woman trying to destroy the lives of celebrities? Does she not know they’re better than people? And do they not realize the danger in which they’re putting their valuable life-force? It’s probably like some wretched goth club in there, all cheap pleather and Front Line Assembly blaring at a thousand decibels and runny black makeup. Some people.

Also, there is a person named Audrina Partridge and apparently her boyfriend killed a guy, the end.