[CrackBerry] So, those vicious enablers over at CrackBerry recently held a contest to see who would commit the greatest personal atrocity or something in order to win a much-vaunted BlackBerry Storm. Well, a man named T.J. from Toledo, Ohio, was the victor, opting to not only get a life-size tattoo of the device, but to augment the design with a saucy “iPhones suck” underneath it (video above). The rogue, in his own words:

I will get a lifesize tattoo of a Blackberry Storm with the CB logo. And below the Storm, I will get iPhones Suck tattooed (which could put me in harms way because my tattoo artist is a DIE HARD iPhone/Apple user. He has 3 Macs at the shop!!) Remember, A tattoo IS FOREVER, fighting a bear is only momentary…lol.

The winner got his work done by the iPhone-shirt–wearing Brian Krabach at Revelation Tattoos, and that was good enough for CrackBerry. Enjoy your spoils, hero.

[Washington Post] It was only a few weeks ago that NBA star and uncanny peacock Gilbert Arenas was claiming that, as a man of considerable wealth, he had no shame in endorsing John McCain for the presidency, because of taxes and what have you. But you know what’s more important than taxes? History. And so Arenas, to celebrate Obama’s win, got a commemorative tattoo.

Arenas has decided to show his permanent support of President-elect Barack Obama with a tattoo. Arenas had the words “Change We Believe In” tattooed onto the fingers of his left hand in cursive writing. Then, Gilbert showed the outside of his pinky finger, which had “44″ inked on it.

Arenas shortened Obama’s campaign slogan, “Change We Can Believe In,” choosing not to add ink to his thumb. Arenas has “change” written on the outside of his index finger; “we” on the inside of his middle finger; “believe” on the inside of his ring finger; and “in” on the inside of his pinky and “44″ on the outside of his pinky.

Some may see this as evidence of a fickle, opportunistic, ill-informed athlete making an ass of himself, but really, Arenas is one of the NBA’s most gleefully eccentric personalities. As the D.C. Sports Bog’s Dan Steinberg adds, “I can only assume he would have gotten a ‘You Betcha!’ tat on his rump had McCain-Palin won.” Indeed. (Maybe not.)

[Hey Mister] Honestly? I don’t want to ruin too much of this post, but if the title — “Eagle Tattoos Are So Fuckin’ Sweet” — doesn’t rope you in, then I’m afraid you are just cold lacking a soul. Fine, a brief sample:

Submitted for your approval is my evidence. Also, it’s like 600% likely that the Eagle is an evolved T-Rex. So just shut up, because everything you can say that sucks about an Eagle is wrong. Are you gonna tell a T-rex or a T-rex’s great uncle that he’s a piece of shit? Hell no. Watch and learn, bitches.

[…] Fuck yeah, I’ll take another Eagle tat to go with my Eagle tat, and make it extra large, man and make his face cool. I want it to be like my lil’ Eagle bro is channeling the spirits of all his ancestral Eagle bros and T-rex’s. Fuckin’ A, dude. Saddam is going down. Do you see this, Saddam? There is a storm coming for you. A wicked ass storm of feathery hate, raining down Liberty and such. Keyword: Never Back Down.

Please, just go delight in this article’s existence. (This treasure comes via the giants at Adam Riff.)