I first talked to James several years ago. At the time he was a minor seeking answers to questions about heavy mods. In all honesty, I didn’t take him too seriously. I foolishly lumped him in with several other young modders that seemed to be more into the fantasy of obtaining heavy mods than the reality of doing so. In fact, I distinctly remember some photo editing of mods onto a picture of his face at one point which made it truly seem as if it was all just fantasy for him.
However, as years passed, it became obvious he was totally serious with his desires and he began to get all the mods he had previously spoken with me about.
Several years ago, he interviewed me for the now defunct youngmodders.com. Now it is time for me to turn the tables and interview him. So without further ado, I give you a conversation with the now 26-year-old James Keen.
Sean: So, James, tell us how you first got interested in body mods.
James: Funny thing how it all started, I had desire for things like castration and face tattooing at an early age BUT what got me started was me and my friends sitting around listening to the band Korn. This is when they released the album Life Is Peachy I believe. We were sitting around listening to Korn all day and I saw my friend’s poster of the lead singer and noticed he had 3 eyebrow rings. At the time I was about 15 years old. We were all chicken shit to even venture off into piercing even though I secretly wanted to be castrated.
A few days went by and the more I saw the poster, the more this primitive urge in me said “get your eyebrow pierced!” I admit, for me it was a big step, one that would change the outcome for me on everything. Including castration and the works. At the time I believe you had to be 16 with parental consent. But I knew I needed it, the urge was bad. The more I thought of it, the more I wanted it. We all had a mutual friend who knew a guy who did piercings for minors. This is obviously a no-no for anyone out there. Get pierced the right way! But for me, I took the risk. I went in, paid him 20 dollars and he had piercing needles. He even opened one up in front of me with a new pack of jewelry. At the time things seemed clean, but looking back there were obvious signs I shouldn’t have gotten it. But I don’t regret it.
He then pierced my eyebrow at a 16 gauge. My parents saw, raised hell, and we had The Long Talk. To my surprise they said if I waited until I was 16 they would consent for a simple piercing. I kept the eyebrow for a year before moving on.
Sean: And move on you did! By far the most attention grabbing modification you have is your extensive facial tattooing, why don’t you tell us about those pieces.
James: Facial tattoos go back to me being a kid. I’m sure as kids we all painted on ourselves to look different or for fun. I remember seeing a magazine where a tribesman had designs tattooed on his face. I thought that was just beautiful. As a kid I then started painting my face, but to my disappointment it washed off. Then later I moved on to markers and pens and whatever I could get my hands on. My parents could not figure out why I was doing it. To me it felt… natural! Later on I would end up with my face covered in tattoos. It started off with me testing the waters, a spur of the moment tattoo. On my forehead I had a bullet hole wound tattooed, Which has since been covered up. On my one cheek I had a color organic bio-mech piece, the other a black and grey rotting jaw reconstruction. Later I added line work for my chin which is an eye with tentacles. And my bullet hole was covered up by skulls and bio-mech type style work.
The cheeks represent a yin yang type thing, the color organic is to show people I am beautiful, I am nice and forgiving, and I have a good heart. The other cheek is to show that even though I’m good I still have bad in me like most do. The eyes and worm in it show I am human and my bad is a fault that will watch over me and feed on me until the day I die. The forehead piece actually is like a crude crown of skulls to show my imperfections. And the line work with tentacles holds everything together with the eye watching over all of me.
Sean: To an outsider, the facial tattoos would seem like the most life changing modification you have. However, knowing that you have been castrated, a modification which changes you chemically as well as just aesthetically, I would presume that is your biggest life changing mod. How did the desire to become a eunuch come about and how has life changed since the procedure?
James: At a young age and honestly, the motivation actually started with me wanting to be genderless. The feeling that I am not a male or female. At the time, I felt like my penis and testicles mostly didn’t belong. Though I never thought of just coming out and cutting them off. It was more of, “I do not like these, how can I rid myself of it?” This went on for years until I hit puberty. Then I really hated it. The sex drive is one thing I didn’t care for. Oddly enough I was having sex only to ease the craving I would get from the testosterone produced from my testicles. I then remember watching something about gender reassignment surgery. And then it hit me, maybe I could get my testicles removed and penis! At the very least my testicles!
I was young and for years I struggled with it. I felt like I was the only one. I then came across a site called the Eunuch Archive. And realized I wasn’t so alone. People have and wanted to get what I wanted. Most were going to surgeons to get this goal accomplished. It was then I learned full genital removal was like the city of gold, very few find it. So I made things reasonable for myself. Get castrated, and get it done so I could rid myself of what I was cursed with. In all honesty, I should have gone to a surgeon, but I didn’t. Instead I sought out a Cutter. It took a long time, but I found one. Once again I was faced with taking a chance, and I took it.
The cutter I will not reveal, or where it was done. However, I will say he only required the supplies to do the procedure with. He did the procedure, left a stint in for draining purposes and sealed the scrotum up. I remember as my second testicle was being clipped from the body, it was an experience I won’t forget! The feeling of YES it is finally done! I remember it all like yesterday. Months after, and I’m talking 3-4 months of not taking testosterone shots or anything, I started getting hot flashes. Basically going through what a woman does in menopause. After that I no longer have them, life is good. My body hair is finer than it used to be. I can say I no longer want my penis gone, Ill keep it only because now I can tell castration really made me the person who I was supposed to be. My only worry now is osteoporosis.
Sean: I know that you didn’t go into the castration alone, you did it with your then partner, luvpain. How was this relationship?
James: My relationship with luvpain was up and down, not his fault. Its just I had jealousy problems which put strain on our relationship. We shared everything, including castration. Once we were both castrated, sex died down greatly which was okay. We started to cuddle more, kiss, caress and for fun I would do sexual things to him just to see if I could make another eunuch get off. Sorry for the blunt image. He is a wonderful soul and I feel ashamed of how I treated him since he has passed on. After that, I was actually in a relationship with a girl. Which is super odd. At first she was like how can we make this work if you don’t use your penis? I gave mostly oral sex and it lasted a while. Until she wanted me to move with her, I couldn’t do it. So we parted ways and I told her I hope she has a fulfilling life.
I have no preference sexually. I love both women, men, transgendered and what not. Even genderless people. For me a penis or vagina doesn’t matter. I look beyond that. As a eunuch, I think I can.
Sean: You have also removed your nipples, how did this mod fit into the overall plan?
James: Well the motivation for my nipple removal was simple, I wanted a Ken Doll-like effect. Unlike my castration nipple removal was purely cosmetic. I remember getting both done and keeping the nipple skin as a souvnir. I cannot remember what happend to it afterwards though.
Sean: Trophies like that do tend to get lost over time. So you want a modded “Ken doll,” does this mean you have, or plan on getting a full penectomy?
James: I dont, I wish. I been trying to get a penectomy for years now. All I have is castration, a subincision and a head split.
Sean: “All I have”, haha, that is one way of looking at it! So is the penectomy on the long term plan? Are you just looking for a practitioner?
James: Penectomy is definatly still the plan, I once said that castration may suit me but I do want a penectomy. It’s who I am. I am not the type of person who wants a deep penectomy, one flush to the body will do me just fine. Getting a penectomy is like finding the lost city of gold, it exists possibly but very hard to get to.
Sean: Judging by what we have spoken about, and the pictures you submitted, you are extremely modified. Aside form the penectomy, are you done, or are more major modifications in your future?
James: As far as major mods go, I want a full body suit tattoo. I have a back piece going on with a full torso piece coming up. I want my left pinky tip amputated but that is to be decided. I have an amputation fetish. There is something about amputees, especially small digit amputations that really gets me going. Its more of a sexual thrill. I think a pinky tip missing is not only aesthetically pleasing but sexy at the same time. So it would only be in due time I would want the same beauty of what it offers unto myself.
Sean: I assume you have you seen the toecutter videos on BME?
James: I have! I actually have! It was something to see too! For me watching the toecutter videos is equivalent to a normal guy watching porn! I know it sounds strange, but like I said before, small digit amputation gets me going. I remember seeing him using a chisel on one of his fingers. It was amazing, beautiful and erotic! I remember seeing pics of his feet to. He definitely has a craft for it.
Sean: I imagine your mods have a huge impact on your day to day life, but what is your daily life like outside of the mods?
James: Well I work from home, pretty uneventful. Then I also have a second job which pays minimum wage. Washing dishes and cooking at a independent restaurant in my town. Lucky for me they know me and gave me a job and I work in the back where no one sees me. Then there is video games. I love video games. I actually own three video game consoles, the Nintendo Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360. Tons of games, and an HDTV to get the best out of my gaming experience. I also meditate heavily, I tend to meditate in calm environments.
Sean: One last thing, I distinctly remember you from is your work on youngmodders.com. Since most of our readers probably won’t be familiar with that site, why don’t you tell them a bit about it.
James: I remember youngmodders.com WOW I was young then! I remember when Shannon was running things and I came to him with ideas, he seemed to think it was a good one and set me up with a site. The idea was to have young modified people run a site for those who were younger. A place for discussion and without judgment. I did say that once you reach I believe age 18 or over, you pass the torch to another young modder to take over. Many people do not know I was involved in that, me and another fellow. It was a highlight of my life that I still hold high in regards.
James, Steve Haworth, luvpain99