SMUT: A Look Inside BellaVendetta.com [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

“If I'm going to sing like someone else, then I don't need to sing at all.”
Billie Holiday


Do you have a necrophilia, fire, asphyxiation, bathroom or medical fetish? Do corsets turn you on? Feet? BDSM? How about menstruation? Uniforms? Clowns? Allow me to introduce BellaVendetta.com, a place where you can find all of these things and much more. It’s the place for fetishes that no one wants to admit they have.

BellaVendetta.com started in late 2003, and has been growing ever since. Bella (IAM:BgirlyPrincapessa), owner of BellaVendetta.com had been watching the “alternative porn” industry grow and was excited to see tattooed and pierced women being more involved with pornography, but she felt there wasn’t enough self-expression happening. Tired of seeing girls with lip rings getting naked in their dorm rooms and other porn clichés, she was interested in seeing the darker side of girls’ sexualities.

After much deliberation, she took the plunge into entrepreneurship and BellaVendetta.com was born. It probably won’t come as a surprise, but Bella had a lot of problems launching her site. Primarily, she couldn’t find a billing company that would do business with her because of the content, which meant she couldn’t sell memberships. With help from BME’s own Rachel Larratt (IAM:Rachel), Bella was able to find a cooperative billing company and now the people of BellaVendetta are ready to show themselves to the world. Celebrating with a launch party on October 26, in Brooklyn, NY, and everyone’s invited!

One must wonder if the billing company problem is going to be the last of Bella’s problems. Bush’s War on Porn certainly poses a threat to the future of sites like Bella’s. Bush has enlisted the FBI’s help to try to stop pornographers— regular, run-of-the-mill pornographers— the ones who make porn for adults, featuring consenting adults. It’s all over the media, and it’s something to think about and in this case, rebel against.

Bella Vendetta offers a safe place for people to explore their kinkier side, and within its pages you’ll find some of the most controversial porn on the market. Let’s all welcome BellaVendetta.com to the industry and wish them the best for the future; and especially with winning the fight against her own government’s goal to close websites like hers.

Bella Vendetta (IAM:BgirlyPrincapessa), portrait by Gina Wilk

BME:  What’s your background, Bella?
BELLA:  I’m twenty-four years old and I grew up all over the northeast of America. I didn’t graduate high school because I felt I was getting a better education by reading a lot and doing various apprenticeships with people I wanted to learn from. I eventually got my GED and went back to the high school I dropped out of and taught a creative writing and a film making course. For the past few years, I’ve done a lot of different things: I’ve travelled around the United States, ran an organic farm and restaurant, attended college, and done costume work for the Berkshire Opera Company and Shakespeare and Company. I own a fashion design company called MyOwnBrain Productions, and am an active member of the Rites of Passage suspension group.
BME:  How did BellaVendetta.com (BV) start?
BELLA:  With the alternative porn boom a few years ago, I began submitting photos of myself to various sites but I didn’t get very good feedback: my sets were too extreme, they didn’t want me using real blood or they thought I looked too much like a skinhead. There were a few who accepted my photos, but I didn’t like the way they did business. I had always had the idea to start my own erotica site, but because it seemed like so much work I didn’t know if I should bother.

I had a boyfriend who didn’t want me to model, so I didn’t for a very long time. He and I eventually broke up, and around that same time I was watching my mother die of cancer. She died very young with many things unfinished and so many things she had wanted to do. I thought fuck it, the time is now, I need to just get on with this. My mother always pushed me to go for what I wanted, even if she didn’t agree with it.

BME:  Why didn’t your boyfriend like you posing nude? He ended up having a large part in BV, didn’t he?
BELLA:  He couldn’t understand how I could be comfortable flaunting my sexuality. One day I found out that he had lied and cheated on me. I wanted him to pay for what he had done, for making me feel cheap, for destroying my trust and for every injustice any female has ever suffered. As I yelled at him, I found myself hitting him over and over again. I imagined my fists going thru his skull and into the wall behind him. It was not a pretty scene; a pissed off little Italian girl in boots and braces who has a bit too much rum in her system. He was spitting up blood, blood was sprayed all over the kitchen walls, blood was all over my hands, and you know what? It was hot.

He told me I looked sexy covered in his blood, I agreed and hit him a few more times until he turned his head and I connected with the side of his skull. I felt my hand break and I got even more pissed off, so started kicking him. I didn’t stop until someone jumped in and stopped the fight. When we were done it looked like a murder scene.

I kept the blood-stained white tank top I had been wearing as a trophy. I wanted to write something on it, and one night it hit me: “BELLA VENDETTA”

It’s Italian for Beautiful Revenge.

Bella Vendetta became a good response to a lot of things after that. I wanted revenge for everything— for our society, our country, our culture. I wanted revenge from every magazine or website that’s rejected my pictures because they were too racy. I wanted revenge and I wanted it to be beautiful.

Medical fetish?
BME:  Do you regret hurting him?
BELLA:  No, not at all: he got what was coming to him. I wouldn’t tell everyone to go out and beat someone up who fucked them over, but I have always been a fan of vigilante justice. It was probably not the most adult way to handle things, but when love and passion are involved there’s not much room for ration. When I broke my hand, I had to quit my day job which pushed me to create BV so it really helped me in a lot of ways.
BME:  What did he say after it was all over?
BELLA:  He cried and ran away. But we’re friends now and he’s actually going to model for BV!
BME:  Who are the BV staff?
BELLA:  The original cast of characters for the Revenge Krew (both photographers and models) were all close friends of mine, who thought it was a great idea and were more than willing to help. I don’t often approach people that I don’t personally know to work for the site; most of the people on there who aren’t close friends of mine have approached me and wanted to shoot for the site. Every once in a while I’ll come across a really stunning model or photographer and I’ll ask them to participate, but I haven’t had very good luck with that.

Autumn

Bertram

Bastard

Dementina

FetishBaby

Su


Just a few of BV’s models.

BME:  Why do you think they aren’t interested in working with BV?
BELLA:  Generally when someone you don’t know writes you and says, “you’re pretty, you should model for my website but I can’t pay you” the response isn’t very good. Not that I would approach any model in those words anyway, but I understand and respect anyone feelings if they don’t want to model. The only time I get frustrated is when I approach a model and they say no without even going to the site, seeing what it’s about or hearing what I have to say. Some people hear the words “adult oriented” and immediately think they’re going to be exploited or taken advantage of.
BME:  No one on your site is paid?

BELLA:  No, nobody is paid! That’s part of the beauty of it. Everyone involved is doing it purely for the love of quality erotica. The only people who have been paid are web designers and programmers. Don’t get me wrong, I think people should be paid for their time and talent, so as soon as some money starts coming in from this project I definitely want to compensate people. But it’s been such a beautiful experience seeing people make art/porn/erotica because they really want to.

If I was able to pay models I think it’d make more people want to pose, but I don’t want anybody whose sole reason for posing is to make money. Anyone whose first question is “how much are you paying” is someone that probably won’t fit well into the site. My main concern with money right now is making back what I put into getting the site up. Once that happens I hope to make a little bit of profit, but I’m not trying to get rich off taking advantage of anybody.

BME:  You also have erotica writers, including yourself?
BELLA:  I do a lot of writing for the site. All the news updates are by me unless otherwise noted, all the descriptions of photosets are be written by me and I do a lot of the erotica writing. Writing is something I don’t even think about anymore, it’s just a part of me. The ability to create mental images and convey emotions with words has always fascinated me. It’s just something I need to do at this point. But what I love even more than writing is reading work, and doing performance poetry and slam competitions and things like that.
BME:  You’ve got a lot of writing experience, actually. You participate in a few other publications, can you tell me about those?
BELLA:  Day Xanadu is my personal zine that I’ve been doing for ten years. It’s about my life in general— sometimes there’s political stuff in it, sometimes reviews of others writing, poetry, rants, angry feminist musings and just about everything in between. I usually have one or two contributing artists and/or writers in each issue. It’s the one medium I have where there are no defining lines. It’s an incredibly personal publication. You’ll find things in there about me that I probably won’t even discuss in person, but it’s developed a pretty loyal per-zine following and I’ve grown completely comfortable saying anything and everything in there. I’ve been published in other zines around the world and my writing has also been featured in three spoken word cassettes, read by other people. Raped by a Poet, Best poems of 2001 and on the air of an Italian radio station.
BME:  How many models, writers and photographers do you have?
BELLA:  It’s constantly changing, but currently there are about twenty-eight models and forty photographers. I have a lot more waiting for paperwork and other legal nonsense to go through and a lot more models/photographers on my “dream” list that I’ll ask once the site is up and running.
BME:  How do people apply to be involved in the site? What kinds of things do you look for?
BELLA:  There are sections on the site where you can fill out an application to be a member of the Krew. You don’t need to have a professional portfolio, and you don’t have to be published anywhere else, but you do need to have a sample to share with us and let us know what you’re capable of doing. There’s no real formula for what we’re looking for because we have really diverse people involved. Some of the writers write for major publications, some have never published a story in their life. Some models are well established and some are trying this for the first time. The only thing that’s a must is creativity.

Laura (IAM:.onyx) is one of BV’s main writers.

“His arms pulled me into him, as I nuzzled the side of my face into his chest. His hands motioned down my back and over my ass, squeezing it softly. He slowly moved his hands over to my hips and began sliding them onto my inner thighs. Kissing my neck softly as the warm water fell down his scalp through his hair and onto my back. I turned around facing the corner of the shower reaching my hands up as far as I could reach, with my back arched and my bottom angled up I leaned into the wall…”

I’d never written erotica before BV. The closest thing I’d come to writing erotica was when I was thirteen and I’d write short stories about boys that I had crushes on— what I’d want to happen and what had happened. I’m not sure if that counts as erotica though. I know one of my English professors would be very surprised to hear that I was writing professionally— she had wanted me to go to an E.S.L. (English as a Secondary Language) office to get some help with my errors!

When I heard about BV, I wanted to help in any way I could. They needed writers, so I tried it out. Since I started writing I’ve had friends of mine suggest I write for gay and lesbian magazines or to start a book of my own consisting of my short stories. I write as often as I can. Every time I get an idea I start typing feverishly. I never have storyboards for my writing— it just comes out naturally. Thank god I’m a fast typer! So far I’ve donated eighteen stories, and the feedback is great.

I write the way I like to read erotica. For example, when I read romance novels I always search for the sex scenes and only read them. I like fewer introductions and buildup and instead just getting right into the good stuff. I expose what I’ve experienced, dreamt of and longed for. In the future, I’d like to do a little bit of modeling. My dream photo shoot involved lip sewing, but for now, I’ll leave everything racy to the written word.


Juicy (IAM:PiercedPuff) is a twenty-two year old from New Jersey and is one of BV’s star models.

When I was eighteen, I started taking pictures for fun to send into BME. They were mostly of play piercing sessions or BDSM play because that’s what I wanted to see on BME or in BME/Hard galleries. My style of modeling is somewhat paradoxical. I get anxious when I have to call to order pizza or talk to strangers, but I have naked pictures on the internet! One shoot I’ll feel like stepping on someone’s throat and spitting on them, and the next I’ll want to wear my Eeyore toe socks and cuddle with teddy bears. Modeling gives me a lot of self-confidence and has allowed me to come to terms with the things I don’t like about myself. I can now walk around without makeup on or wake up in the morning with my hair silhouetted around my face like a helmet and still feel beautiful.

I met Bella at a suspension convention and asked her if she’d like to take my picture. I’d modeled before; I’m on a few sites like www.insex.com and www.citykittie.com, and am even in a ModCon book. After meeting her, I modeled for her production company www.myownbrain.com and she became one of my few close friends and a personal inspiration. She embodies so much that I want to be: I love that she makes me stand up for myself and she’s taught me that it’s okay to tell people who hurt me to fuck off.

You can currently see galleries featuring me in a carpentry porn set, catheter blood bath set, an emo love set with Bella, rooftop liquid latex, getting beaten on a boat by Bella and bowling alley porn with Bella. In the future, I want to do a set where my boyfriend kidnaps me with his van filled with Eeyores and candy, a daddy’s little girl scarification set, tons of play piercing shoots, and I’d love to take dirty pictures at my movie theater after hours, and a Star Wars porn set with light sabers.

I love posing for BV because I’m not conventional. “Alternative” photographers are sometimes not even into the stuff I am. Most people aren’t into real blood play and they’re not often into taking pictures of me when I’m really scared and crying. Bella is, and that’s one of the reasons why I love her. I’m only interested in modeling now when I can have fun with it. I don’t want to pretend to get tied up and have the cheesy look of surprise on my face for some porn site, I don’t want to get half naked and sit on some bed pretending to cry. I’m a creep and I want to take creepy pictures. I want to put my hair in pigtails and have Bella tie me up until my mascara is genuinely running down my cheeks and blinding my eyes, until my muscles are actually cramping because I can’t move and I am squirming, I want to be able to beg her to stop and honestly be scared when she laughs at me. Bella would never ask me to pretend to look scared, she’d make it happen. And that is why I love Bella Vendetta.


BME:  Can you give me a beginner’s guide to BV? What kinds of things can you find within its pages?
BELLA:  There’s about forty different kinks, and we’re still growing! Some of them are:

80s Trash: Roller-skates and prom dresses, leg warmers and cheap plastic jewelry.
Bathrooms: Public restrooms, bubble baths and shower scenes.
BDSM: Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism.
Blood Sex: Play piercing, vampirism, and cutting. Currently all the blood play is real blood. Any sets involving special effects makeup or fake blood is in other categories.
Boots and Braces: Steel toes, suspenders, face smashing, shaved heads, white laces and bleached jeans.
Clowns: rubber chickens, face paint, clown shoes striped socks and big red noses.
Deprivation and Asphyxiation: Choking, strangulation, sensory deprivation of any kind, blindfolding and auto erotic asphyxiation.
Food: Food smearing licking, worshipping, insertion and cooking.
Foot Worship: Forced foot worship, foot portraits, cute toes, shoes, pedicures and foot bondage.
Genderfucking: Crossdressing, role playing, strap-ons, sissy boys in tutus and butchy women in suits.
Graveyards: Cemeteries, fucking gravestones and making imaginary love to the dead.
Menstrual art: This section is aimed to revolutionize menstruation. It’s revenge for any commercial girls have seen telling them their period is dirty and for any man who wouldn’t make love to them while they were on the rag.
Necro: Zombie porn, the undead, crime scene victims, sex where one partner plays dead and murder sets.
Pinups: Glamour shots, rockabilly kings and queens, classic beauty and cheesecake glam. Vintage girdles and nylons with backseams, fingerwaved hair and open toed pumps.
Smoking: Cigar, cigarette, blunt, joint, pipe, bong and gravity bong smoking.
Uniforms: Nazis, nurses, flight attendants, postal workers, military personnel, police officers, cheerleaders, waitresses and catholic school girl uniforms.
Water Sports: Golden showers, urination and women who can pee standing up.

(L to R) Age play, BDSM, smoking and menstruation kinks.
BME:  That’s a lot of different subjects. How did you come up with all of them?

BELLA:  I came up with about eighty-five percent of them, and they all turn me on and it’s the kind of smut I want to see. The rest have been ideas models have had or that fans have written in with. The main idea of the site is to show what gets the models off. No one is does anything they don’t want to do.
BME:  How do you avoid fake situations— how do you make sure that the girls kissing girls are actually attracted to each other, and that the blood play is real etc?

BELLA:  I believe that a key factor in anything being fake is money. Because there’s no money involved people are only doing things they actually want to do. There is some fake blood on the site, but we make sure to keep it separated from the real blood play. The girls kissing each other are actually into each other— they’re friends or lovers and they’ve planned to do a shoot on their own accord for no other reason than they think it will be hot. Nobody is paying anybody else to act like they’re interested.
BME:  What has been some of the feedback on the site?

BELLA:  People love it! Girls write and thank us for making a site they can look at and not feel bad about, and men write and say thank you for making the kind of site they’ve been dreaming about. Photographers and models tell us that they really like what we’re doing and often tell us that they’d love to be a part of it.
BME:  You have some very risky subjects though— you must get some negative comments.

BELLA:  Of course. Most of the hate mail I get is about the age play, necro fetish and substance abuse sections. There was also a message board that had a pretty heated discussion about how nasty the menstrual art section was. I just tell people that I’m sorry they have a problem with the content, but if they want some more vanilla pornography they should try burningangel.com (which I also model for) because it’s my favorite alternative porn site.
BME:  You seem to have tapped into an unseen market. Who do you see as your competitors? BME/Hard? Suicide Girls?
BELLA:  I don’t think that BME or Suicide Girls are competition actually. Both sites are doing completely different things than BV is. I can’t find any other site where there’s such an extensive collection of fetishes and hopefully this will help us succeed. One of the things I really love about the adult industry is that there is no competition because there’s room for everyone in the industry.
Bella, portrait by Gina Wilk.
BME:  You were very public with the problems you were having getting the site up and running. You were even considering taking down BV. What changed your mind, or what convinced you to keep going with the site?
  I was feeling very burnt out about the whole thing. I was working ten hours a day, every day, on the site and it felt like it was never going to be launched. I couldn’t find anyone to do the billing, models were flaking out left and right, I had an intern who was making my life more difficult instead of easier, I was chasing after people for paperwork and photos they had promised and the relationship I was in was completely falling apart because of out different stances on pornography and sexuality in general. It just didn’t feel worth it anymore. I started the site as a personal journey for myself, and in the process it felt really good to help other people explore themselves and feel accepted too. But at the time, it just felt like nobody really appreciated all the work that was going into everything. So I sent an email out to everyone in involved with the site and asked them if BV had done anything positive for them, and if so, what was it, and did they want to continue with the site and why. The response I got was overwhelming. Every single person wrote back with long explanations of how much they have learned through this whole process, how much they love the site and the community surrounding it. More than a few of the emails brought me to tears. I realized that just because people don’t always openly express their support and gratitude doesn’t mean it’s not there. Everyone had very long and complex explanations as to why they were involved in the site in the first place. The shortest response I got was from one of my models in France, and she said in her broken English, “I so sorry you have problems. Please do not give up, for me, Bella Vendetta is freedom!”

After all was said and done I felt like I really just needed to finish what I started. I’m not the type of person that gives up, I was just having a moment of weakness. But I think it was important for me to step back and reevaluate why I was doing this and figure out the direction I wanted the project to take. It always seems like just when you want to give up everything falls into place and a fresh opportunity presents itself.

BME:  Who came through for you at the end?
BELLA:  Everyone involved with the site came through in a big way, just being honest and sharing their experiences with me. On a personal level, the web designer, Mitcz, really came through for me, reminding me how important this was to me and all the work that had gone into it. Surprisingly enough, my sister and my aunt both thought I should keep the site and not give up, and it felt good to have some support from family members. Shannon and Rachel Larratt (IAM:glider) and (IAM:Rachel) also helped me a lot. I am forever indebted to them because of that. One of my new models really came through and helped me work really long days resizing photos and picking up where my flaky intern had left off.
BME:  Speaking of your web designer, for the launch of the site you did a complete overhaul on the site. It looks great.
BELLA:  The site design was completely redone by Reverend Mitcz (IAM:mitcz).A lot has changed since the original design. I went through a lot of people trying to get the right feel for the site and I had a really hard time finding a professional designer that understood what I was going for, and Mitcz has really done my vision justice. He’s been wonderful to work with on many levels. He’s a good friend, knows the porn business, marketing and design inside and out (he’s also the chief designer of vivid.com) and he’s got a seriously twisted mind. Our site isn’t quite ready to sell memberships yet because we’re having a hard time finding a billing provider that’s okay with our content. We’re working on it every single day, so as soon as we find one, we’ll be open for business.
BME:  You’re having a release party- who’s invited, who’s coming, what’s happening?
BELLA:  We’re having one hell of a celebration! Everyone is invited!!! Lots of the models and photographers will be there and some of the Krew members are coming all the way from Los Angeles to attend. Lots of the models are performing that evening; there will be a burlesque show, a rope bondage demonstration, a fire performance, a play piercing performance, a strip show, live band, a flesh hook pull raffles, giveaways, and merchandise for sale. It promises to be a fun filled action packed evening. It’s in Brooklyn, NY and I’d love to cram as many people as possible into this space to witness the insanity that I’m sure will ensue.
BME:  Back to the site. What do you think will be the most popular section?

BELLA:  Honestly, I have no idea. I think a lot of people come for the blood play because there aren’t many places you can find it. I hope that someone will come looking for a particular section and then discover they like looking at something they never considered sexy before.
BME:  What’s the best thing about running BV?

BELLA:  It’s fun! It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me honestly. My favorite thing is getting letters from fans, models and photographers thanking me for making a site that lets them be who they want to be, or for making a site filled with the kind of smut people actually want to see.
BELLA:  With the United States government cracking down on porn sites, in their War on Porn, BV is in danger. Are you worried about this? How much does this effect your decision to launch BV and how will you avoid being prosecuted for owning/operating BV?
BME:  Yes, I believe my site is in a lot of danger. Sites are getting shut down left, right and centre. All this legal nonsense recently definitely made me wonder if right now is a bad time to launch the site, but I think right now is actually the perfect time. This is what the world needs: people who aren’t ashamed and who aren’t afraid to push limits.

I don’t think I can fully avoid being prosecuted. I have to be prepared for at least some legal repercussions, and luckily all of my legal paperwork is in perfect order. Maybe what this industry needs right now is someone willing to stand up for what they believe in. Who is the US government to tell us what we are allowed to find sexy and what is “obscene.” I find it obscene and offensive that so many other “alternative” porn sites are altering the shoots they have up for fear of legal problems. I want to accurately represent this subculture, not hide behind a lot of pretty pictures, not tell my models that it’s wrong of them to have age play fantasies, etc. This is a community of consenting adults making art to share with the world, and I’ll stand by that 100%.

BME:  With that, what’s in the future for BV?

BELLA:  World domination. Straight up.
I want to change the way the adult industry is run. I want to make a safe place for people to show off their smutty side. And I also want to do a line of video and a lot of live performances. I can’t get into it too much because the details are surprises that I’m not ready to let out of the bag, but I see the live performances as a three ring circus but with nudity and the videos will be quality with actual story lines and amazing performances by our talented Krew.
BME:  What specific changes do you hope to see in the adult industry?

BELLA:  I’d like to see more realism and seeing women running things more often. It’s such a male dominated industry, which is funny to me, because it thrives on women. It’s all about what men want to see women doing, so I’d really like for people to become interested in what turns these women on. I think the majority of the adult industry is a lot of men telling women what to do because they think that’s what other men want to see. But I know plenty of men who don’t like blonde girls with cum on their faces. If that’s what turns you on, that’s great, do your thing, but that’s not what turns me on, and I know there’s a market for “intellectual” pornography, if you will. There’s a fine line between erotica/art/porn as it is already, so I’d like to see that blurred even more. I’d like to make people question themselves, “Wow, does this really turn me on?” There’s no thought process behind most porn: it’s penis and vagina and it’s meant to get you off as quickly as possible. What’s really refreshing to me about this whole alternative porn movement is that it’s actually making people think. BV is all about doing things differently. I’d like to kick things up a few notches.
Although BellaVendetta.com enters into some of the “faux pas” subjects of pornography, it’s always done in a safe and responsible way. All of the models posing are of legal age, and most importantly— they’re doing it because they want to. No one is waving dollar bills in their faces and bribing them to do things that they don’t feel comfortable with. It may push people’s sexual limits, but does it in a harmless way. I wish Bella and her Krew luck and success with avoiding crack downs by the US Government and FBI, and hope they have a long and prosperous future in the real alternative porn industry.

— Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice)


Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice) is a vagabond, though her roots run deep into Nova Scotian soil. She’s lived and worked on three continents since 2001, and has never lived anywhere for longer than eight months since the age of 16. She loves fonts, puns, being barefoot and office supplies. Calm to her is the roar of the ocean.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online October 11th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, BCS, Mexico.

Adiós! Gillian Hyde’s Last BME Article: Your Questions Answered [Guest Column – Stepping Back]

“I took the road less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.

—Robert Frost


Before working for BME I couldn’t bear to look at knee suspension pictures. Two weeks after working for BME, I was announcing to the world that I had bitten off my boyfriend’s ring finger at the same time he had bit off mine as an act of love. To say that my life has changed would be an understatement.

Sometime in November of 2004, BME advertised that they were going to be hiring their first official employee— a journalist who would be in charge of writing articles for BME/News and I immediately sent in my application. In early December Shannon sent me, along with seven other applicants, a message saying we’d made it to the second round. I was ecstatic.

The next step of the process was to write an article to prove that we could handle the responsibilities the job would entail. To be completely honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I’d never written an article before, never conducted an interview— I felt completely out of my element, but after a bit of encouragement and patience from Shannon and Rachel, my first article was published. Mothers with Mods, my interview with IAM:Orinda, and I got very good reviews in the comment forum accompanying the article, and on the poll on the main BME site asking the question, “Which of the writers do you think could do a good job as BME staffers?” I was winning with forty-six percent of the 2000 votes— twenty percent higher than the closest person behind me.

And then there were three. Jordan (IAM:snackninja) and Matt (IAM:volatile) were the other finalists, and up until that point, our identities were anonymous. It was nice to be exposed and take credit for our work. A few days later it was announced that Jordan (author of the Keith Alexander article) and I were both chosen to become interns.

In early March I sold my Vespa moped, broke my lease, left my boyfriend, friends and small mountain town in British Columbia and moved to Mexico.

It would turn out to be one of the most life-altering things I’ve ever done.

I’ve been lucky to talk to hundreds of new people because of my internship with BME and I decided that for my final article I’d let them ask me anything they want to know. I’ve been asking questions for six months, I think it’s time that I answered some.

Gillian Hyde

DREAM WEAVER Do you feel you were the best candidate for this internship given the other talented applicants and do you feel you’ve grown as a writer/journalist during this internship?
GILLIAN:  I think most of the candidates were talented and they could have done just a good of job as I, if not better, but yes, I believe I was one of the two best candidates. I felt a woman’s voice was lacking on BME, and I think I was able to fix that, if even for a little while. While Shannon enjoys exploring and exposing the really interesting “freaky” stuff, I think I contrasted that a little— I gave an educated “outsiders view” while still being involved in the industry and community.
SAVAGERABBIT Do you feel you gave the internship all you could? What would you have done differently?
GILLIAN:  If I could have done things differently, I would have changed my path about seven years ago when I graduated high school. A degree in English or Journalism probably would have helped me succeed at this job. I’m sure that attending some BME events or gotten more modifications, witnessed a suspension, seen a split tongue in person (none of which I’d done previous to getting the job) — generally gotten more involved with the community as a whole would have helped. I came into this position with my eyes wide open, but in some ways I felt more out of touch with the body modification scene than ever. I’d never heard of some of the most popular IAM members, I didn’t know what events were coming up and any BMEfest or Bar-B-Q stories were totally lost on me. I probably had Shannon and Rachel worried that they’d hired the wrong person when they noticed that I wasn’t following the conversation when it came to BME and IAM gossip or news. At the same time, I came into this position unbiased towards people and eager to learn without having preconceived notions about anything or anyone.
GOAT What did you not enjoy about working for BME?
GILLIAN:  The pressure was the hardest thing to deal with. I work with some very talented writers, and I came into this job never having interviewed someone before and never writing more than essays in university six years previous. BMEzine.com gets millions and millions of hits a day, so there was always a lot of internal pressure to write about interesting things in an interesting way. I wanted to impress people and for the first couple of months I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, which was extremely frustrating. Now that my internship is over, I feel like I could easily continue— I’m pretty comfortable writing now, and for that reason, it’s a little sad that it’s coming to an end.
IMMORTAL BELOVED How did you choose the topics for your articles?
GILLIAN:  At the beginning of our internship, Shannon gave Jordan and I a list of about a hundred people that he was interested in featuring in an article. We scavenged that list and checked off the people that we wanted to do interviews with. If I found someone or something myself that I thought was article-worthy (the Taking it to the Next Level, Marked For Life: Tattoos Behind Bars, Quilt of Life, No Boys Allowed — Introducing the All Grrls Suscon and the All Grrls Suscon 2005 Video Report articles were my ideas), I would approach Shannon with the idea and he’d either approve or deny it.
ATHENA How did you go about research, building, editing and reworking a piece?
GILLIAN:  I was always working on at least three articles at a time. I loved researching. I’d usually start by talking to Shannon about the person or idea, and he’d suggest different things to ask and tell me a brief background of the person or topic. Once I had a bit of direction, I’d read as much as I could about it; if they had an IAM page, I’d read every diary entry and create questions around the information Shannon had given me and what they’ve told the online public. With the exception of Quilt of Life and Kivaka: Bedside Manner Like a Nun, as they were both phone interviews, I’d email an initial set of questions to get a feel for what direction the article would go in. I’d usually have an idea about how the article was going to go before writing the first set of questions, but generally I’d wait until I got back their answers to focus on one area. The email interview process would normally be composed of three different sets of questions and answers and depending on people’s schedules, they’d often take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to get back to me. Once all of the answers were in, I’d read everything over several times, write an intro and format the Q&A section so that it looked like we were having a conversation, which was very important because it added fluidity to the article. It involved rearranging, cutting up or combining answers and rephrasing questions or answers. After the article was complete, I’d put it into HTML and edit the photos and insert them into relevant parts of the final draft. Each article took anywhere from twenty hours and up, the most time consuming part (outside of waiting for answers) was proofreading and editing.
GLIDER What skills do you feel that you developed while writing/interviewing, and what skills do you feel didn’t develop as much as you’d have liked?
GILLIAN:  My ability to go into depth in my articles has improved. I had a hard time asking tough questions, or trying to push people out of their comfort level in order to get the whole story. It’s very difficult for me to pry, especially over email. I didn’t want to piss people off, so I ended up asking a lot of safe questions— which didn’t always work when people want to read about controversial topics. I think that my style of writing and chosen topics appealed to a certain demographic. Jordan, you (Shannon) and I all have very different techniques of writing, and we’re all interested in writing about different things. I think that a few of the people that I interviewed wouldn’t have been as comfortable talking to men about some of the topics as they were with me (Quilt of Life and No Boys Allowed — Introducing the All Grrls Suscon and the All Grrls Suscon 2005 Video Report would have been impossible, for example). I would have loved to be more of a versatile writer, but I am happy with who I spoke with and what I wrote.
GLIDER If BME runs another ‘Intern Search’ what advice would you have to people applying?
GILLIAN:  Stand out. Let Shannon and Rachel know how you’d like to see BME improve, and convince them that you’re the best person for that job.

Love the industry. Know as much as you can about the people, events and practices— anything that has to do with body modification.

Have an open mind at all times. Don’t be judgmental about anything body modification related. You don’t have to participate in it yourself, but you have to accept that other people may do it and it’s probably important to them.

Ask interesting questions. Don’t be afraid to push people’s limits.

Work independently and work hard. Shannon and Rachel work very hard on their responsibilities within BME, the last thing they want to do is to have to worry about whether or not their employees are doing their job. BME should be your life, just like it is theirs. Shannon and Rachel’s lives revolve around BME and have for over ten years, so they want people who will work just as hard as they do.

MONICA What is the “behind-the-scenes” at BME like?
GILLIAN:  Surprisingly normal and often boring! Most of the time that I lived in Mexico I spent ignoring Mexico and lived in my computer instead. Clive once said, “Working in Mexico is a lot different than vacationing in Mexico.” Working for BME required us to be online for the majority of the day. If any of us needed to talk, we’d be more likely to IM each other rather than call or visit the person. The entire BME family (Shannon, Rachel, Nefarious, Jon, Jordan, Clive, and I) would meet for dinner every night. We ate a lot of tacos. Occasionally we’d have chili, but ninety-nine percent of the time we’d eat tacos. You can tell there’s a good cook in the house when you can eat tacos every night and not get tired of them. Over dinner we’d gossip about IAM members or work on our ideas for articles, talk about current events or past experiences. Sometimes we’d drink and talk for hours.
PERK900 The All Girls Suscon article that you wrote seemed to be a heavily debated topic, both online and off. Did the fact that it would be a “controversial” topic make it more appealing to write? Did you find it difficult to “step back” writing this one specifically?
GILLIAN:  Both of the All-Grrl Suscon pieces were my favorite ones to do. I knew that they’d be controversial and it definitely made it more appealing to work on. I was able to “step back” while writing the first article because at the time I’d never seen a suspension before and I didn’t attend last year’s event. The fact that I am a woman could only take me so far in defending the event because I didn’t personally know how women were treated in the suspension community, but I really enjoyed being able to voice the opinion of some women who felt that they were being oppressed. I hope that the articles can bring a positive change to the community and allow men see that women don’t always feel like they’re treated like equals.

It was a lot harder to “step back” from my video-article because I specifically wrote it from my point of view as a first-time-Suscon-attendee. I went to the event hoping to capture the emotion and vulnerability that goes hand-in-hand with suspensions, and I think I accomplished that. I wanted to do a video of the day’s events so the people who felt excluded (men, specifically) would feel better about the event and so they could get a feel for the atmosphere when it’s just women involved.

HOLYJESUSBONER Did you ever (somehow) walk in on Shannon and Rachel naked? Did you try?
GILLIAN:  I’m happy to say that I’ve never seen Shannon or Rachel naked, but I didn’t live with them so it was fairly easy to avoid. I did live with Jordan however, but all of my plans to see him naked were foiled by my other roommate, Clive.
HOLYJESUSBONER Were you friends with Shannon or Rachel before the internship?
GILLIAN:  I’d never spoke to either of them on the phone, let alone met them previous to flying down to Mexico. I don’t think I ever spoke to Rachel online before the application process, and had only ever private messaged with Shannon a few times.
PERK900 What was the most rewarding experience of your time spent as a BME intern?
GILLIAN:  BMEfest. I loved meeting everyone who came to Mexico. I hadn’t met many IAMers before, and at the end of June I was overwhelmed with new faces. The entire day of BMEfest was special— from swimming with the sea lions, to visiting the deserted beach, to the after-party. I met wonderful people and had really interesting conversations and drank too much and had a lot of fun.

I also loved seeing the feedback in the forums after each article was published. The act of having my work published felt like an accomplishment alone, but to have people say such positive things about my work (on BME and on other sites) was really wonderful, in a completly narcissistic way. Any criticism I received allowed me to fix the things that needed it and made me work harder.

ERICA Why are you leaving BME?
GILLIAN:  My internship position was only ever planned to last six months, which is now complete. I’ve moved to the British Virgin Islands and don’t really have the time necessary to write full articles consistantly. You haven’t gotten rid of me yet though! I plan on writing the occasional piece work for BME, but I will be taking a break for a while.
BMEfest, one of the best days of my entire internship.

PERK900 Not to sound derogatory, but one would say you’re “lightly modified.” Did you find this debilitating as you were now a voice of the “modified” community?
GILLIAN:  I figured someone was going to bring this up. To be honest, I was concerned about my “under-modification” hindering my ability to get this job, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I represent a large part of this community. Not everyone on IAM is heavily modified— there are a lot of people who look like me and it doesn’t make me less a part of the community. I am knowledgeable about body modification and most importantly, I am open-minded about it. I don’t find my lack of modifications “debilitating” at all.

The reasons why I’m not more heavily modified are because I have a hard time committing to things, I’m a minimalist and I travel too much. I haven’t lived somewhere for longer than eight months since I was sixteen. I have never owned a cell phone or a car. I’ve broken every lease I’ve ever signed. I don’t currently own a plant, a table, a television or any of the other things that most people own, and I love it. If I can’t even commit to those things, I certainly cannot commit to a tattoo or other major work.

Because I don’t spend a lot of time in one place makes it hard to find professionals that I can trust. I don’t want to be tattooed by a stranger and it’s hard for me to find symbols to put on my body that represent things in my life because I’m constantly changing.

My lifestyle requires a lot of money, so when I have it I’m more likely to spend it on plane tickets or other travelling expenses. The things I’m most proud of having in this world are my ticket stubs, my journals and my photographs.

PERK900 Did this illicit any kind of adverse reaction from interview subjects or “heavily modified” individuals whom you came in contact with during your internship?
GILLIAN:  None at all actually, and it surprised me. Until you asked me this question, no one had said anything about me being only “slightly” modified. I think people realized that BME had hired a writer, not someone who looked modified. I’ve been a member of this community for longer than a lot of people who are more modified than I, and I feel comfortable where I am modification-wise. Which brings me to this question…
Some of my “minimal” modifications.

CERE Who had the first tongue split you ever saw?
GILLIAN:  Yours, baby! You’ve never let me forget it and you felt it necessary to tell everyone about it during BMEfest, which was slightly embarrassing! I can still hear your voice yelling, “You work for BME and you’ve never seen a split tongue? You live next door to Shannon, who has one, and you’ve never seen one? How in the HELL did you get your job?”

Cere was the first and only person to react to my lack of experience and mods (at least to my face), but I expected it from him— and I was honestly glad that someone finally brought it up, because I knew he wasn’t the first person to think it. It was nice to have it out in the open.

REBEKAH Are you considering more mods? If so or if no, because of anyone you’ve interviewed?
GILLIAN:  I am planning on more modifications, specifically more tattoos. I plan on starting a comma trend on my body. My only tattoo is of a comma, which means “silent pause.” It’s the only symbol I’ve found that truly represents something consistent in my life: the moments where everything changes. It’s the before, comma, after moment. The comma on my lower abdomen represents my first time travelling when I was getting frustrated with the fact that I was just another tourist, looking at all the same monuments that millions of other people had seen before me. It wasn’t until my “comma” moment that I realized that it didn’t matter how many other people had seen the same things that I was seeing— I was the only person in that space and time, and that’s all that mattered. From then on, my entire trip changed, and my addiction to travelling began.

I’d love to get a ribcage piece of a large baobab tree with a comma incorporated to represent the time I spent living and working in West Africa’s The Gambia.

I’ve nearly run out of places to pierce, but I love nape piercings and will probably get it done at some point.

My dream modification is to get my ears pointed, though I’m not sure if I’ll ever go through with it. I love the way it looks and I’ve got small ears and I think it’d suit me.

My only opinion that’s changed is about suspension. Before working for BME, I had no interest in suspension and basically no knowledge about it because of my complete lack of curiosity. After meeting Clive (of the Uvatiarru and one-hook, one-elbow suspension fame), things changed. I became more and more interested in it, and have basically decided that I’m going to do a suicide suspension the first chance I get. After seeing my first suspensions during BMEfest (most memorably the one by IAM:spot and IAM:brion), I was convinced it was something I’d like to do, and this need was increased when I went to this year’s All Grrls Suscon.

DRAGON Is there any mod that makes you squeamish?
GILLIAN:  Having a boyfriend who spent hundreds of hours editing videos for BMEvideo, I’ve seen things that I never thought I’d see in my life. The only thing that I got squeamish about was, surprisingly enough, finger amputation. Everything else— castration, nullification, skin peeling (though I admit, I was a little short of breath when I watched Lukas Zpira’s Like a Butterfly within the first couple of weeks of my internship), vacuum pumping, CBT— all of these things are easy to watch, nightmare-free.
PERK900 Are there parts of BME that you disagree with or consider going too far?
GILLIAN:  The only thing that I don’t agree with is self-cutting as a way for people to deal with problems. It’s a hot topic on BME, but my stance is that it shouldn’t be considered “body modification” unless it’s done primarily as beautifying scarification. I don’t think cuts from anger or frustration or sadness should be encouraged as a positive coping mechanism, mostly because it’s done out of rash feelings that will change over time. Emotional scars are hard enough to deal with, let alone physical scars from those emotions.
THE LIZARDMAN What opinions or ideas you held about BME, modification, modified people, etc (if any) have been changed as a direct result of your internship experience?
GILLIAN:  It’s really hard to remember the way I thought eight months ago because my entire world has been flipped upside-down, but the things I’ve learned are:
If you meet someone who’s green and you’ve never seen them in any other colour, they don’t actually look different than anyone else.
Even misspelled tattoos can have meaning.
People in the body modification community are some of the nicest, open-minded and beautiful people in the world— but I didn’t need the internship to tell me that.
SOMETRIPE

How did moving to and living in La Paz affect your internship experience? Furthermore, was this effect positive or negative?

GILLIAN:  Moving to La Paz was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I drove scooters and a dune buggy, I saw the Pacific for the first time and swam with sea lions, I was near the beach and fields of cacti, I rescued kittens and avoided rain for the entire four months that I lived there, but the best thing to come out of La Paz was finding the love of my life, Clive (IAM:Rookie).
Gillian and Clive

HOLYJESUSBONER Why bother moving to Mexico to work for BME; would you rather have stayed home (could you have stayed home and still have managed to write all the articles you did)?
GILLIAN:  Who in their right mind would pass up an opportunity to live in Mexico for six months? One of the reasons that I’ve travelled so much and have had such an extensive range of experiences is because I never pass up a good opportunity. Sure, I could have stayed in Canada to do the job, but the fact that part of the internship was to move to Mexico was one of the reasons I applied for the position in the first place.
VOLATILE What’s next?
GILLIAN: 

One of the main reasons why Clive and I left Mexico early was because we wanted to move to the British Virgin Islands. Clive was born there and feels a strong connection to the island on which he was born, and I love anywhere that is hot and has the ocean, so it sounded like a good plan. We planned to stay in Canada until November and save some money, but because of some very cheap plane tickets, we flew down on August 30. We camped for a week and we’re currently renting a small apartment on the top of a mountain. We’d love to have visitors, so contact us if you’re up for a trip!

Clive will be working at a day job while I focus on various web development work. (Shameless plug: if you’re looking for a web designer, please contact me!)

My long term goals are to settle down a little bit. I’d love to own a sewing machine again and have a garden with peas and carrots. I want to have cats. I really want to live in a farmhouse somewhere near the ocean.

GLIDER:  Will you and Clive be doing writing/video on your own projects in BVI? (ie. an expat’s magazine, whatever)

GILLIAN:  I’d love to. Clive’s done a lot of video work and with my recent All Grrls Suscon mini-documentary, I feel confident that he and I could create another installment for Uvitaritu, or do something on our own. I plan on writing online about our time here, similar to MyGambia blog.
SOLARIS You’ve been to all these amazing places and done loads of exciting things but is there any place or thing that you would want to do or go so badly that if you did it or went there that you could be content if you never travelled again after that?
GILLIAN: 

I don’t think any one place can really make you want to stop travelling. If anything, a terrible experience would make me want to stay in one spot for the rest of my life. Visiting different places makes me want to keep doing it— it never has the opposite effect. In the past six years I’ve lead a very full life.

I’ve seen volcanoes in Italy, visited fetish bars in France, gone shopping in London, lived amongst some of the poorest people in the world in West Africa, worked for billionaires in Florida and millionaires in Luxembourg, gone on countless road trips through the United States and Canada, smoked hash in Amsterdam, sunbathed on black sand beaches in Greece, and most recently, camped in the jungle in the British Virgin Islands… I never want to stop, but I’ll probably slow down. My lifestyle is often exhausting.

CERE If a dildo is inserted in a man’s ass but the words “good game” are uttered afterwards, is it still gay?
GILLIAN:  No, it’s not gay. You can do anything as long as you say “good game” afterwards. If I grab your balls it’s not considered cheating on my boyfriend as long as I say “good game.” If you grab my boobs or ass, I’m only allowed to enjoy it if you say “good game,” etc etc. The power of “good game” is limitless.

My experience working for BMEzine.com has been wonderful. I’ve been able to talk to the most interesting people, live in Mexico and work for a company that has changed the body modification industry. I’ve been a small part in something very big, and I have every one of you to thank. Thank you to those who agreed to be interviewed by me and let everyone take a peak into your life. Thank you to Shannon and Rachel who saw something in my writing and took a chance on me, and thank you, most of all, to the people who read my articles and supported me along the way.

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
Judy Garland


Signing off,

— Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice)


Gillian Hyde (IAM:typealice) is a vagabond, though her roots run deep into Nova Scotian soil. She’s lived and worked on three continents since 2001, and has never lived anywhere for longer than eight months since the age of 16. She loves fonts, puns, being barefoot and office supplies. Calm to her is the roar of the ocean.

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, BCS, Mexico.

Ryan Ouellette: Lord of the Blade [Guest Column]

  

Ryan Ouellette

Lord of the Blade


“I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want — an adorable pancreas?”

- Jean Kerr

There’s something quite profound about scarification that marks it apart from other forms of aesthetic body modification. Whereas tattoos and piercings augment and decorate the body by adding ink or metal, a scar is created merely by interacting with what’s already there, harnessing one of the peculiarities of the skin and channelling it to decorative ends. By using a scalpel, branding iron or cautery pen, it is possible to create intricate patterns in the skin, which, when healed, form distinctive and permanent scars. I really see this as body modification in its purest form — the body itself is producing the artwork, sealing over the inflicted wound and leaving an enduring mark that is actually part of the skin, not an inorganic addition.

Unfortunately, the idiosyncratic nature of an individual’s healing often makes the results of scarification fairly unpredictable, and as such the designs attempted have usually been fairly simplistic. In the West, scarification has tended to be either pieces made up of single line scalpel incisions for fine work or large, heavier scars produced by branding. Over the last few years, however, a number of scarification artists across the globe, feeling artistically constrained by the limited results and narrow range of designs that can be produced by single-line cuttings and the unpredictable and brutal scars left by brands, have begun to experiment with skin removal techniques, using their tools to actually remove areas of the upper layers for skin to produce larger, bolder and more predictable results.

Fresh skin removal scarification Healed skin removal scarification
Fresh and healed skin removal by Ryan Ouellette

Skin-removal really is in its infancy, and this article is in no way intended to be a how-to or instruction manual on the intricacies of this invasive and potentially dangerous procedure. Please do not try this at home. Instead, I hope it will illustrate what it is possible to do with the human body’s largest organ and germinate a few ideas in your head. I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to interview one of this community’s most prominent, prolific and talented scarifiers, and this article is in many ways both a portrait of him and an introduction to his often astonishing work.

Although not the ‘inventor’ of this technique by any means, Ryan Oullette (IAM:The Fog), a twenty-five year old artist working out of Precision Body Arts in Nashua, New Hampshire, is widely regarded by his peers as one of the best scarification artists currently practising skin removal. Photos of his scars were recently showcased in National Geographic magazine, the patterns and motifs he produces are brave and original, and his work — both fresh and healed — is simply stunning. Chatting with other scarification artists, Ryan’s name comes up again and again when they’re asked whose work they particularly admire.

Ryan Ouellette Ryan Ouellette at work
BME:  Where are you from originally, Ryan?
RYAN:  I grew up in a small rural town called Pepperell — it’s just over the border in Massachusetts only about a half hour from the little city I live and work in now, Nashua. BME:  What got you interested in body-modification in the first place?

RYAN:  I have no idea to be honest. It was never a choice, it just felt natural. Like shaving or eating. I ‘play-pierced’ myself a lot when I was younger, with sewing needles and things like that. I used to do crude scarification on myself with needle heads in my bedroom. I never thought it was unusual behaviour and I didn’t see it as ‘self harm’ or anything. It just felt natural. I started getting actual piercings in my mid teens and it just grew from there.

BME:  How long have you been ‘in the business’ as a piercer and practitioner?

RYAN:  I’ve been piercing professionally for about five years. I had hopped around part-time at some shops for another year or so before then but I would say that was more of an amateur thing. I took over my shop about four years ago and I started cutting maybe six months after that.

BME:  Did you apprentice?

RYAN:  I’m completely self-taught as far as technique goes, although I’ve done a lot of formal training for piercing (Association of Professional Piercers anatomy classes, aseptic technique, and so on). I got some little pointers here and there from talking to guys like Lukas Zpira over the internet. I try to soak up all the ideas I can from watching videos and looking at pictures of other artists’ work. But mostly it was just trial and error.

One of the bigger things that sticks out in my head is reading an interview about Blair and his branding. He talked about how a lot of branders were scared to hit the same line multiple times and he said something along the lines of “work it until you’re satisfied”. And that really influenced my cutting style. Instead of trying to get a perfect line in one pass I hit and re-hit the same multiple times until I got it looking exactly how I wanted it. My cuttings are actually influenced most by Blair’s brandings if that makes any sense.

BME:  When did you start doing cuttings, and how did you develop?

RYAN:  Aside from the little chicken scratches I did as a teen I started professional cutting about three-and-a-half years ago, early 2001 I think. Originally I only bought scalpels to do work on myself. I never intended to work on other people at first. I did some small pieces on myself over the course of a few months. After that I did one on a guy I worked with, then my girlfriend. Gradually, it grew to regular customers, and once word got out on the internet I started to get a lot more people coming in asking about it.

BME:  Do you perform other forms of scarification such as branding or electrocautery?

RYAN:  I only do cutting. I’ve never even attempted any form of branding. At first I looked at scarification as the name for any scar procedure and I looked at things like scalpels, cautery pens, hyfrecators, and so on as different brushes used for one kind of art. Now that I’m experienced with a scalpel I see cutting and branding as two completely separate art forms. I might get into branding in the future but right now I feel most comfortable with a blade.

BME:  Why and when would you choose skin removal as a method of scarification as opposed to simple scalpel cutting or any other methods?

RYAN:  It all depends on the design. My earlier work was basic geometric designs — lines and curves. No solid or bold sections. After a while, I got bored and I felt that in order for my designs to evolve I needed to have larger sections, so that’s when I tried out flesh removal. My first one came out terribly. I cut it the way I would a single line piece and it ended up being way too deep and it healed really unevenly and didn’t look good at all. I gave up on flesh removal for about a year and then decided to try it out again, this time on myself. I changed what I thought was wrong with my last one and the piece came out to my satisfaction. After that it just felt as comfortable as anything else, so I incorporate it into most of my designs these days.

BME:  How do the results differ, in your view?

RYAN:  I just like the bold sections more than single line work. There is only so much you can do with single line pieces. After doing single line pieces for a year or two I was getting a lot of requests for designs that just couldn’t be done without flesh removal. Also, it’s easier to get a nice distinctly healed scar with flesh removal. I seem to get more consistency with them. I try to push myself each time. I think I do my best work when it’s something that looks too complicated for me.

Skin removal scarification by Ryan Ouellette Skin removal scarification by Ryan Ouellette Skin removal scarification by Ryan Ouellette
BME:  Can you talk me through the procedure, from start to finish?

RYAN:  Well it’s actually pretty similar to a tattoo for set up. The skin is shaved when needed, cleaned (sometimes with iodine, sometimes with Technicare), and then I put on a stencil. After all the prep stuff I usually make a quick pass over the entire design with a #11 blade scalpel. I basically consider it guide-lining. It’s not very deep, and it looks pretty uneven at first. It’s basically just opening up the skin over the whole piece very shallowly; the depth isn’t evened out until the next step.

    Number 11 scalpel blade
11
Number 15 scalpel blade
15

Next I’ll usually change blades to keep it sharp, and then I’ll go back over the design and slowly even out the depth and width. The depth and width varies depending on the design. If it’s single line I tend to go a bit deeper and wider. If I was doing removal I would go a bit shallower because I’ve learned that if you do flesh removal too deep it tends to blob out and heal unevenly. For removal sections I get my outlining done and then I use some haemostats to basically just pull up a corner. Then I use a #15 blade and slowly separate the tissue up and away while I lift with the clamps. I try to go as even as possible because you obviously want a uniform removed section for good healing. I try to make my removed sections as small as possible because I’ve noticed that if you try to remove too large of an area the center of it tends to be excessively deep. I’ll often split a removed area into smaller sections or strips and remove them individually instead of just on one large hunk.

As far as the depth goes I’ve talked to a lot of very good scarification artists and their techniques all vary. Depth is really just whatever works for the individual. Generally you’re going into the tissue below the cutaneous layer but not through the fascia. And I’d say that good flesh removal is typically slightly shallower than single line scarification. You really want to keep it uniform. You don’t want to see pits and valleys because that means different tissue layers, hence different scar production.

Ryan Ouellette at work

In terms of blood control, basically I just pat my field with paper towels as I work, again similar to tattooing. I really like to keep my lines clean and as dry as possible. Some people bleed more than others, obviously, so sometimes it’s hard to keep things as clean as I like but I generally don’t like blood to leave my immediate field. I don’t just let it drip all over the place like some people tend to do. It’s partially for contamination control but it’s mostly just so I can clearly see the cut depth and width clearly. The bleeding tends to stop within five minutes of finishing a line. So by the time I move on to a new line my previous ones are usually dry.

I’ll occasionally clean the field during the procedure, typically between steps. So maybe once after all the outlining is done, and then again when the piece is completed. I typically clean the field with green soap solution, again like a tattoo. After I’m done I’ll bandage the area with a sterile non-stick dressing. I usually tell the person to keep it bandaged for at least four to six hours. Sometimes, particularly for flesh removal, I’ll just have them keep it bandaged overnight. As for removed skin it’s basically nothing by the time I’m cleaning everything up post-cutting. Without blood supply it shrivels up within just a few minutes.

BME:  What are the benefits of skin removal — what can be done, and what are the limitations — what can’t be done?

RYAN:  I think the main benefit with flesh removal is additional control. With a single line cut you make a cut and basically just widen it out and change the depth. So if you make a slight error all the cuts from that point on are going to have to work around that one mistake or even it out. With flesh removal you can control both the outline and center of all lines and sections. If I want to do a grouping of small tight lines, especially with angles or curves I’ll almost always do it with removal. If you do single line you are basically splitting the skin open so that can sometimes limit what you can do right next to a line. With flesh removal you are going shallower so the skin tends to open less. So I can do tightly compacted lines and feel confident that they’ll heal where I put them. If I tried to do lots of small lines within an eighth of an inch they would tend to scar outward and probably blend together during the healing process. The lines are more straight down and tend to heal in their original location unless they keloid a significant amount.

As far as what can’t be done I guess I would push people away from very large sections of removal. If someone wanted a removed section bigger than maybe two inches wide I would probably try to change their design or flat out turn them down. As far as complexity I’ve never had to turn something down because it’s too complex. I’ve had to rework designs to simplify them slightly in order to be able to cut it into someone. Obviously you can’t do shading, so I have to redraw things to make them bolder, kind of like a solid black tattoo.

There are some areas I would prefer to not work on like hands, wrists, necks, and so on. But I’m sure if someone really wanted a piece there I could figure out a way to do it safely. I’d just have to do it a little shallower than average. I did some flesh removal stars on the side of my girlfriend’s hand and it was very difficult. Two little coin-sized sections took me about two hours because I had to be so careful with my depth and remove the tissue at the exact same shallow level.

Skin removal scarification by iam:The Fog Skin removal scarification by iam:The Fog
BME:  What are the risks?

RYAN:  Risks are similar to any comparable procedure like tattooing or branding. The biggest risk would be infection but I’ve never had a problem with that. I give very clear aftercare instructions so it hasn’t been an issue. That’s the only thing I would call a risk. There are more complications that could come up like uneven healing and scarring mostly. Occasionally a person can get kind of a rash around the piece, depending on aftercare. It’s usually from wrapping it the wrong way or not cleaning it often enough.

BME:  What aftercare do you generally recommend?

RYAN:  My basic aftercare is that they keep it covered with plastic wrap and Vaseline for about seven to ten days. It keeps the body from forming a scab which makes it heal more from the bottom up instead of from the sides inward. It’s just important with wrapping that you keep the piece clean and somewhat dry. So I tell the person to unwrap and clean it throughout the day. I usually just have them use an antimicrobial soap like Satin or Provon. If they don’t clean it often enough the fluid under the wrap can cause irritation or a rash. The rashes are more frequent if I have to shave the person before the cutting.

I basically just worked out my aftercare with trial and error. I also talk to a lot of other artists about technique so I steal a lot of ideas from them. Sometimes I’ll suggest using a mild irritant like lemon juice mixed with the Vaseline. It can tend to make the body heal with either a darker hypertrophic scar or, with a little luck, raised keloid tissue.

BME:  How long is the healing period, generally, and what are the stages of healing?

RYAN:  Complete healing varies on how they take care of it. With the wrap I’d say that the body will form a new layer of skin over the whole design within around two weeks. If they keep it unwrapped the body will scab slowing the healing process to maybe three weeks. If you add in agitation, picking, or scrubbing it could lengthen it out to a month or more.


healing skin removal scarification
2 days old

healing skin removal scarification
5 weeks old

healing skin removal scarification
3.5 months old
BME:  What kind of results does skin removal produce — what do the resulting scars look like compared to other forms of scarification?

RYAN:  With my removal it’s not really making the body heal in a specific way. It’s really just emphasizing the way an individual’s body will heal a cut. I’d say on a whole removals tend to give a better more distinct scar. But it’s very difficult to force the body to heal one way or another. Keloid tissue is more of a raised pinkish tissue. It’s basically what most people hope for with healing but it’s actually not that forthcoming in a lot of pieces. I’ve notice that the body heals more commonly with hypertrophic tissue. This tends to be more of a darker granulated, less raised tissue. What I shoot for with aftercare is either a very dark distinct hypertrophic scar or an evenly raised keloid scar. I never guarantee a certain look though, that would just be impossible.

As for how it looks compared to other scars I’d say flesh removals don’t scar outward as much as some other techniques. Brandings tend to heal outward a lot more due to the heat damaging surrounding tissue. A lot of single line scarification tends to be deeper than removal so the line can heal a little wider due to it having a tendency to heal in more of a V-shape then wide U like some removals.

BME:  Is there anything else you’d like to add?

RYAN: 

Yes! It’s really important that people remember that these procedures can be extremely dangerous if not done by a skilled professional with a decent amount of anatomical knowledge and experience working with skin. If not, people could end up in hospital! The difference between single line and removal can be compared to the difference between punch-and-taper piercing and transdermal implants. They might be similar but the latter is a lot more advanced and dangerous.


If you’re interested in getting work done by Ryan, his shop Precision Body Arts is located at 109 West Pearl Street, Nashua, New Hampshire (or call 603-889-5788). You can also see more of his work in his gallery on BME (and of course you can view other artists working in similar styles in the general scarification galleries as well).

As scarification techniques evolve, designs which previously would not have produced good, clear, dramatic looking scars become possible. The only limits are those of your imagination and of your artist’s skill. Choose wisely.

– Matt Lodder   (iam:volatile)



Matt Lodder is a 24 year old native of London England. He wrote his Masters dissertation for the University of Reading on “The Post-Modified Body: Invasive corporeal transformation and its effects on subjective identity”.

Thanks so much to Ryan for agreeing to be interviewed, and for being so eloquent and forthcoming with information. Thanks also to Quentin (iam:kalima) and Vampy (iam:vampy) for their help in answering my questions, and also to Shell (iam:stunt_girl) for her last-minute assistance!

Online presentation copyright © 2005 BMEzine.com LLC. Requests to republish must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published online January 7th, 2005 by BMEzine.com LLC from La Paz, Mexico.



  

It’s time for a contest!

worldmaplogos

BME Internship 2.0

It’s been almost 5 years since BME last had interns. I’ve decided that I’d like to do something similar to the internship contest that we had. You can read more about it here. This is a much shorter version of the intern ship and instead of relocating to beautiful La Paz, Mexico, we’ll be traveling around the world.

I’m currently planning a worldwide BME tour. This will probably mean being on the road for 2-3 months. My goal is to start the tour in time to be home for the middle of June. This means we’d be hitting the road in the beginning of April. I have approximately 6 weeks to plan the trip, get sponsors, figure out the winners and then buy everyone’s tickets and book accommodations. I will also be booking the interviews that we will have scheduled. We will have at least one day off each week. This trip is all business though so if you want to do it, be prepared to take photos, talk to people and video tape interviews while we work our way around the world.

The goal of the tour is to interview as many individuals from as many different cultures and locations as possible. In each city that we stop in, I want to interview at least 5 shops and collect copies of their portfolios to add to BME. In addition to interviewing Tattoo Artists, Piercers and Body Modification Artists, I want to talk to and photograph clients as well as random people that we meet on the streets. I want to see the sites that the various places we go to have to offer (yes this means playing tourist!) as well as compile video interviews along the way.  I’d like to bring 4 people besides myself. That means our group will consist of 5 people total. We can get away with 4, including me but we may go to 6 if I can’t make a decision between a couple great candidates.

Depending how the planning process goes, the trip may end up getting split into continents, obviously it’s always fun to think big but to make it so this really happens, we may need to scale it back and make it more affordable in terms of money, time and logistics. While I’m working on the contest and putting together the team, I’ll also be working on getting sponsorships as that will help make the tour that much more viable. I may also end up having a couple openings on the trip for multiple people to fill the various roles due to the length of the trip. I feel though that you should be able to commit at least two weeks. If you can only come out for a week, it’s not enough time to get into the groove with the rest of us. I will, however, make exceptions so please send in your audition and let me know that you’re the exception that I should make!

Click through for more information!

In order to make this trip possible, I’m looking for people who are talented in a couple different areas. I’m looking to fill the following roles:

Writer
Photographer
Videographer/Video Editor

In the dream scenario, each person would be capable of filling all of the roles but I understand that is a dream and not likely to happen. The main thing though is that everyone will have to be able to write. That is a requirement. I’m not saying that everyone needs to be an accomplished author but they have to have an inquisitive mind and be able to express their thoughts in writing so that we can share our travels with the readers of BME. I’m know that I am not the world’s best writer but I am capable of recounting an event or conducting an interview so if you think that you can write as least at the level that I can, then you qualify! I can also take decent photographs and keep a video camera steady. I am however really lacking in the video editing skills. I’ve been trying to get better at it but unfortunately it’s really not something that I’m good at.

If you’ve got more than one talent and can do the same, then it makes it more likely that you will be chosen to accompany me on the trip. Seeing as there are 3 roles that need to be filled and 4 spots available, this means that between the 5 of us, we should be able to fill these three rolls. When we’re in a city, we may need to split up to tackle two different locations at the same time depending on the schedule, which is why people need to be able to fill multiple roles. Being able to write relatively well, understanding lighting and Photography and also being able to properly handle a video camera (even if you can’t edit) means that we should be able to regroup at the end of the day and put our work together with ease.

Besides being able to fit a minimum of one of the above roles, there are a set of requirements that need to be met.

You must meet all of the following:

Active Interest in Body Modification –
You should be knowledgeable about and actively involved in body modification. You should be  open to all of what BME covers. If you have a problem with with anything in the BME/Extreme or BME/Hard areas then you should not apply. You don’t have to have heavy mods but you need to be okay with others having the right to modify their bodies as they see fit.

21+ years old preferred, 18+ Required –
I’m asking for proof of a passport so I will be verifying your age. There are places outside of the USA that require you to be 21 to gain access so I don’t want to leave anyone in the hotel room because we’re going to an event at a 21+ location. Having everyone above 21 makes this a non issue. If you are under 21, apply anyway. I may make an exception for the right applicant BUT keep in mind that preference goes to those that are 21+

Valid Passport – You must hold or be able to acquire and provide proof of a valid passport two weeks prior to the time that I purchase our airline tickets. If you do not have one by this time, you will lose your spot. I cannot risk putting out the money for our non refundable travel arrangements and then find out that you can’t get a passport. There are no citizenship requirements. As long as you meet the other requirements, you are welcome to apply!

No Felony Convictions/No Arrest Record/Anything that prevents you from traveling freely
– This is a requirement because, like the  passport issue, I do not want to have the tour ruined by someone who gets blocked access from entering a country. Some countries will not allow convicted felons or someone who has even been arrested to gain entry to the country. It could potentially ruin the tour all together if someone in our group was denied entry and that made it so the rest of us were denied entry. Anything that prevents you from freely traveling, entering various countries or getting back into your own country will prevent you from being selected. I have decided that if you can get clearance to travel by filling out the appropriate paperwork and going to the required consulates and get yourself authorized to travel (with a criminal record) I will waive this requirement for the right applicant!

No Drug/Alcohol Abuse Issues –
As we will be traveling in foreign countries, I do not want to deal with any issues relating to drug problems. We may visit countries that have serious penalties with foreigners that are caught with illegal substances. If you break this rule and are caught, there is little that we will be able to do to help you.

Good Health – I will get Medical Travel Insurance for all of us in case of emergency but if you are not in good health and cannot carry your own luggage or backpack, this is not the tour for you. We are going to have to schlep our own bags. We’re not rock stars, we’re people out to do something cool on a limited budget. We’re basically seeing the world on a shoestring budget (unless I score major sponsorship) and we need to make sure we meet out goals. If you are on medication that you take daily, that’s fine but it cannot interfere with our abilities to get from point A to B and do what we need to do while we are there. I am hoping to make it so that I am the only one with a chronic illness on the trip. In addition to doing our interviews, going to events and working almost every day of the trip, we will be site seeing. Depending on the country, this could include a lot of hiking.

Drivers License –
You should have a valid drivers license, but it’s not required. Preference does go to someone with a license in the event of a close call. It does not need to be a full license if you’re in a country with a rated system like Canada. I don’t want to end up being the only one who can drive though!


Availability –
You must be able to commit to staying on the tour for at least TWO WEEKS. Any less than that and it will disrupt the tour. It will take a lot of time to get into a grove and figure out how everything works and to streamline our entire process. If people come and go too often, the harder it will be to become an efficient touring machine! Preference will be given to those who are able to commit more time.

Computer Experience
–  This is a no brainer. You need to be able to write and post photos on the web. If you only have a desktop computer and you are selected, I should be able to provide you with a laptop.  This will need to be returned back to me at the end of the trip. You must have a working knowledge of wordpress, basic photo editing capabilities (ie color correcting, watermarking, resizing photographs),  as well as basic HTML skills. Extended knowledge is always a plus and as always, preference will be given to those with the most variety of talents and skills.

A Positive Attitude
– Sometimes shit happens, especially when you travel. Are you going to be able to keep a smile on your face when we get to a hotel and it’s oversold and they gave away our rooms because we didn’t get there until 1am due to our flight being stuck on the runway for 3 hours? Are you going to be okay with sleeping at the airport when our flights are canceled and we can’t get a hotel until morning? Or are you going to be a diva and whine and cry about it? If so, this isn’t for you!

Be Social/Outgoing
– You don’t need to be a party animal but you have to be willing to talk to strangers. We are going to interview, photograph and film people that we don’t know. You have to want to get to know them, or at least do a damn good job faking it, which is what makes a good interview. You also have to be willing to have your photo taken and appear on CAMERA. Obviously some people will want to spend more time in front of the camera and that’s fine with me. I hate having my picture taken or being on video but I know that it needs to be done. You should know this too and be willing to get over your fears.

These things are major bonuses:

Travel Experience is a plus – Do  you know what I mean when I say we’re going LAX-LHR? Do you determine your travel route based on the amount of air miles you’re going to accrue? Do you know what to do when you’re in line at airport security? Do you pack everything into a tiny carry on bag so you don’t have to check it and in that bag are things sorted so you can pull out your liquids so you don’t get a secondary screening? If you’re a travel pro, that’s a big bonus. If my 6 year old knows more about travel procedures than you do, chances are we might not get along! If you have airline/hotel/rental car elite status, that is also a HUGE bonus because I will be booking flights based on AA/OneWorld Alliances and hotels based on Priority Club alliances. I have EVIP’s which need to be used by the end of February or they expire. If you know what this means, make sure you include it in your application. If you’re adept at public transportation, include this on your application as well. We don’t want to get lost and we don’t want to kill our budget on taxis! Obviously safety first but we’ll be in a group so we will be fine.

Multi-Lingual – Do you speak more than one language? Great! Do you understand other cultures because you have experience with them? Awesome! Do you know people who can put up the 5 of us for the night? Even better!

Hotel/Airline/Sponsors Connections – That’s a no brainer. Do you have any hook ups and you want to help us out? Please contact me!

What’s covered and what isn’t?

Now that you’ve been selected, what do you get? Unless I find a couple other sponsors, we’re going to pull this off on a limited budget. It means that we’ll likely be flying economy (this is where having travel experience and frequent flyer status comes in handy! You can upgrade, I won’t hold it against you!), staying in low end Hotels/Hostels/Friends Couches where we can and taking full advantage of Continental Breakfasts offered at the hotels/hostels that we stay in. We’ll try and take public transportation to keep costs down as taxis can be very expensive. I will be covering the basics. Unfortunately this isn’t a paid tour but all of the costs will be taken care of so you’ll be able to take a trip you may otherwise not be able to afford. This is a great opportunity to see the world as well as build up a huge archive of content for your resume. Not to mention it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Plane tickets/Ground Transportation – You will need to get yourself to our starting point, if you happen to be closer to our first destination, you can meet us there. Due to the nature of our tour, it makes sense that we all travel together. The only exception is if it doesn’t make sense for you to go to the start point if you’re closer to the first destination. For example, if we’re all starting off in Los Angeles and our first destination is Londan, England and you live in Paris, it makes more sense to have you meet up with us in London. In that scenario, I’ll cover getting you to London from Paris but I can’t cover getting you from Podunk, IA to Los Angeles.

privatejet


Accommodations
– We will be staying in hotels/hostels or friends couches (this will be a very rare occurrence and most likely won’t happen, mostly due to the fact that most people don’t have room to accommodate 5 people). We will be sharing hotel rooms. Since there are 5 of us, we will be splitting two rooms (taking turns with who gets the cot!). In the event we take on an additional person, we will be splitting 3 rooms. 2 persons to a room.

Meals – 3 meals a day. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. This does not include alcohol or tobacco.

Medical/Travel Insurance
– I will make sure that each of us has medical/travel insurance for the duration of the tour.

The Application Process!

Now that you know what the tour is about, who I’m looking for, what the requirements are and what you get out of it, it’s time to apply! As I’ve described at the beginning, I’m looking for “Jack-of-all-trades”. If you can write, take photos and hold a video camera, then this is definitely an opportunity that you qualify for. I’ve also got a position open for someone who doesn’t really excel at any one skill out of all three. Everyone needs to submit the same application, however, if you’re looking to be assigned one role specifically above the others, then you’ll need to submit additional material to support that request.

Please submit the following:

Send an email to [email protected]. Please make sure to include the following in your email:
Name:
Bio:
Birthday & Age:
IAM Page Name:
Location:
Role you’re applying for:
Passport:
Drivers License:
Criminal Record Y/N, if Y, what?:
How long can you commit to the tour? Please note priority may be given to those who can commit more time to the tour:
Are there any time periods where you will need to briefly leave the tour?:
Email addresses used for any BME submissions. If there are contributions to BME or this community you’ve made that won’t show up under those email addresses, please include details about them.
Link to Audition Video (You must create a video audition and include it with your application – see below for hints!):
Links to writing:
Links to Photography:
Links to Videos:

I’ve explained the application specifics for the Audition video and the links to your writing, photos and videos below! If you don’t submit these things your application won’t be considered!

A Video Audition Make sure to state your name, your age, where you live and which role you’re applying for. Since I’m potentially spending weeks on end with you, I want to get to know you as well as possible through your audition tape. I wasn’t sure what to ask for in the audition video so I googled “how to make an audition tape” and got tons of answers. Check out those sites as well as this one to see how to make the best audition tape possible. If you’re saying “I don’t have a video camera, how can I make a video?!” Don’t forget that most digital point and shoot cameras have a video mode. You can also use the webcam built into your computer to record an audition tape. Most things that you audition for put 3 minute limits on the audition tapes. I’m giving you 10 minutes to work with. You don’t need to use all of it but I’m giving you a lot of time to let me get to know you. Tell me who you are. Tell me why you think you’d be good for this. Tell me why you want to do it. Be honest. Tell me your deepest darkest secrets and everything else you want me to know. Are you afraid of the dark? Let me know. Give me a look into your life and what it would be like living together on the road for 6 weeks to 3 months! Upload your video to  youtube and send the link along with your application email.

Examples of your writing
– As I said, everyone must be able to write at LEAST at the same level as myself. This means you can express yourself clearly and intelligently via the internet. You need have a basic grasp of proper grammar, spelling and punctuation. Your examples of writing can be anything from a link to your IAM page, another blog and articles or interviews you’ve written. If you’re interested in being selected as “The Writer” then make sure you submit more examples of these.

Photography – Everyone needs to be able to take photos. Please send a link to examples of the photos you’ve taken. A link to your BME submissions, IAM page, online photo hosting page or something similar is fine. We will all have pocket size digital cameras. If you’re interested in being “The Photographer” please send links to your portfolio to back your selection for this role. You will need to know how to light the shops that we are shooting in.

Videos you’ve Edited – Everybody needs to be able to use a video camera.  Please send links to videos you’ve uploaded to youtube etc. It’s okay if you don’t have any if you’re applying for one of the other roles. Your application video will suffice. If you’re applying for the “Videographer/Video Editor” role, please send a link to your portfolio of films/videos that you’ve edited.  To snag this role, you’ll need to prove that you can edit video!

I haven’t decided if I’ll be posting the video auditions on Modblog so that I can get BME readers to help me choose the winners. Submit your videos under the impression that I will be. This is going to be a kick ass trip and I think we’re all going to have an awesome time! Get those applications in asap! The application process will be closed on February 20th and winners announced on the 1st of March. We should be able to have a finalist round where I’ll post the video auditions that made it to the finals and we’ll do a group vote. I want to see who can really market themselves and get people to BME to vote for them, since that’s kind of what a part of this tour is about! I will have the final vote on who goes on the trip though. If everything goes according to plan, we will be leaving in the first week of April. Good Luck!

One More Thing…



(Courtesy of rip me open)

I was first hired by BME in early 2005 and spent the better part of the year living with the team in La Paz, Mexico. Before moving there, I had never been on a plane, nor had I ever had the chance to write professionally. I got the job largely on the strength of this interview with Keith Alexander, who became an immediate inspiration and mentor. At the time, I could have never imagined I would also write a memorial to him eight months later.

Being involved with BME has changed my life in many fundamental ways, and the experiences I’ve had and the friendships I’ve gained make it difficult to announce that this will be my last post as a BME staff member. No hard feelings and no drama whatsoever—just a trip that’s run its course. We had a lot of good times, some tumultuous periods, and one hero who started calling him- or herself “anti-ginsberg,” which, hey—if nothing else, some of you folks have helped me develop a thick skin I never thought I’d grow, and whether you appreciate it or not, that’s worthy of some kind of thanks.

My eternal thanks, gratitude and friendship go out to Phil Barbosa, who has been as exemplary a friend and colleague as I could have ever asked for, to say nothing of the joy it’s been to work with Rachel, Jen, Roo, Mike, Jon, Jason and anyone else who’s been part of the team.

But this is it. I know there are plans for the site and the community, and I look very forward to seeing where this is all taken. Hopefully, I did my part to help make things not suck for at least a little while. And hey, for old time’s sake, here are some things you may have missed:

My feature story on Buck Angel, one of my all-time favorite things I’ve ever written.

Do yourself a favor and listen to this podcast with the great Perk900, live on the scene in Las Vegas for APP.

– These profiles of Shawn Barber and Kim Saigh.

The DongBlog tag, start to finish, until the end of time, amen.

BME’s Big Question was never not a good read.

You were all very patient to put up with ModBlog Fan-Fiction.

Rob Spence is one of the coolest motherfuckers alive.

Bob Roberts is a gentleman and a scholar.

– And finally…Spidey-Cock.

And that’s it! It has been an absolute pleasure, my friends. I’ll try to stop in occasionally, but until then, have fun, stay safe and, of course, thank you for your continued support of BME. Fare thee well.

Sex is Brill!

We all love sex, right? But judging by the following tattoos we all express that love in different ways..

Fuck Slut – Manuel Huizar, Sadofilia, La Paz – If that rings a bell it’s because it what once the home of BMEzine, and Manuel was behind Phil’s toes (1, 2, 3).

Blow Jobs – Sjard, Kartell Tattoo Studio, Hessen, Frankfurt.

As for the last tattoo..

“I got this tattoo because I wanted something that would always make me smile. I’ve never had anyone say they were offended by it, mostly people just giggle and say how awesome it is [because it is] the only thing I regret is not getting a few curly lines to really tramp it up properly. But at least this way it’s kind of subtle.”

No offence to the owner of the tattoo above (yes, that one), but I’m not sure I understand the message “behind” the tattoo or the text submitted along with it – If I’m missing the humour please let me know!

See more in Lettering Tattoos (Tattoos)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho! It’s Interviewing We Go..


Wanderlust

Bicycle bicycle bicycle, she wants to ride her bicycle, bicycle, bicycle.
She wants to ride her bicycle, she wants to ride her bike.
She wants to ride her bicycle, she wants to ride it where she likes.

“Freddy Mercury”

And she does by jove!

Tinkle your bell merrily and saddle up for this interview with Gwen, BME’s very own Biker Chick — the self-assured and full of wanderlust bicycle sort of biker chick, not the bobbing-for-hotdogs off the back of a Harley type. She’s cycled, floated, bused, choo-choo’d, hitchhiked, stumbled and otherwise meandered her way thousands of miles! Starting from Hamilton, Ontario she peddled mercilessly onwards to Alabama via Winnipeg, Vancouver, San Francisco, down the coast of Mexico then turned left to cross Texas. Along the way she’s collected some wonderful tales, the odd case of food poisoning, and a gorgeous scarification piece.

 

A Mexican newspaper covers Gwen’s trip

ROO: 

Let’s get the wheels turning by asking you about your passion for cycling, can you remember the first time you hopped on a bicycle?

GWEN: 

I remember this cherry red tricycle I had when I was a kid. I must’ve left it out while my folks were having a garage sale and it got sold — I cried a river that day.

ROO: 

I’m terribly sorry for your loss, it’s a nice thought that a succession of children and probably adults after you have derived some pleasure from it though, or are you still plain bitter?

GWEN: 

Well, I’m bitter at my dad depriving me of such a pleasure, but maybe in another twenty years I won’t resent it so much.

ROO: 

I hope so, you’ve got quite enough to carry around without slipping a grudge into your backpack!

Now, without getting all ‘Fight Club on your arse’ — it’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue, I just gave it a name — your IAM page doesn’t hint at any genital piercings, is this because you spend most of your life in the saddle, so to speak?

GWEN: 

You guessed it!  I’ve heard some piercings don’t get agitated too badly but being on the road for so long means my hygiene level is a little below par, so I wouldn’t be able to take care of ’em so well.

ROO: 

So are you saying all cyclists should be given a wide berth because they pose a significant risk to public health?

GWEN: 

A warning couldn’t hurt; saddle sores are a bother in themselves — I wouldn’t want my whole genital area to be inflamed and pissed at me ’cause I couldn’t keep it clean (ROOAnd neither would we Gwen).

 

The day before leaving

ROO: 

For those who haven’t read about your adventures (which will hopefully have dwindled to zero by the time we’re through) could you recount some memories of people you’ve met and general kindness that keep you warm at night? (See her IAM page for the story in more detail).

And anything that makes your toes curl?

GWEN: 

Oh my, there’s been so much hospitality… okay, some that stick out:

  • Being introduced to the bike culture in Portland, Oregon (and seeing a the guy who owns the sleeve with all different front chain rings that I saw on Modblog, no less!).

    What was immediately obvious was that most of the other bikers weren’t modified very much. The Germans and Swedish that I came across were usually older and didn’t seem to be into bodly modifications at all.

  • Meeting ChopperMark, amongst many others while having the chance to joust on tall bikes and mingle with the ZooBombers.
  • Meeting a couple who lived off the land just north of San Francisco and getting to sleep in a gypsy wagon and bathe outdoors.
 

A DIY homestead visited during the adventure

 
  • Randomly receiving home-made cookies that some guy was sent in the mail (he was sad to see we were eating store-bought cookies).
  • Having dinner in this million-dollar mansion near Los Angeles even though we were smelly and dirt-poor.

Hanging out with the Zoobombers is just something intrinsic to being in Portland. The crew of people who bomb down on those little bikes every week is so varied, young and old, drunk or sober, etcetera, that you’re guaranteed to meet some interesting characters. The tall-bike jousting was a thrill; I didn’t expect to be able to hold my balance on such a contraption but it’s not as hard as it looks! Everyone takes it lightly and getting hurt is half the fun!

Finally, staying at the million-dollar place was a crazy coincidence; a married biking couple that Morgan and I had frequently run into had arranged to meet with another couple who had travelled the world for 2 years on bikes, and we ended up seeing all 4 of them in town (Ventura, California).  We were invited to stay over as well. The wife of the latter duo house-sat for these rich people, and since they wouldn’t be home, all of us biking nomads were invited to eat and drink at this mansion-villa (who needs to own 4 dishwashers, seriously!?); it was quite a treat.

Getting on the road the next day was a bit of a humorous shock, to know that the bike-touring lifestyle throws every extreme of culture at you. I love being poor and dirty, though, so I’d much prefer sleeping by the side of the road to such opulent quarters any day.

I could go on, but those are some fun times.

We were pretty lucky about not having too many bad experiences. Being in fog and mist around the Washington coast and then sleeping on a beach in Oregon with blowing sand and freezing cold nights without a tent sucked. I almost got mugged while visiting Ally in Winnepeg, Manitoba.

A little more about the Oregano beach: The picture where I’m flying a kite (further down the interview) was the night before we realized that the ocean procures some damn cold winds and the sand comes along with ‘em.

We tried using rocks to hold our tarp down as a shield but it just whips up from all directions. That was one of the most miserable mornings, but it makes you that much more anxious to get on the road and wait for the sun to dry you up.

Beaches look so innocent and inviting but don’t trust them to stay that way when the sun goes down!

ROO: 

Life’s a beach, eh.

Mugged? Not by a muggle I hope..

GWEN: 

Haha, actually, the mugging happened whilst I was being tattooed!?

My friend got together her stick-and-poke materials (sewing needle taped to a pen, dipped in India ink) and we decided to do it on a bridge over this train yard, but some homeless native guy came around mumbling something about nice bikes and I didn’t pay him any attention. Next thing I knew he was trying to mount my bike?!  Luckily my friend jumped to block his way and “negotiated” with him (I think he was heavily drugged or drunk), and instead of taking my expensive bike he took hers — in the meantime, though, he attempted to hit us with his fists, and then managed to grab my friend’s U-Lock (we were using it as protection), although he didn’t try to hurt us with that, thankfully.

It disturbed me that cars and pedestrians were passing by — the situation being blatantly hostile — and no one even looked when we were screaming for help. I found it so distasteful that someone would steal a somewhat worthless bike just because they didn’t feel like walking; I guarantee he rode it for 3 or 4 blocks then ditched it. (We ended up finishing the tattoo when we got home).

ROO: 

Crumbs Meg, that was a close shave..

Apart from a large tub of courage what else do you pack on an ‘average’ trek?  Nothing that’s got you into trouble I hope..

GWEN: 

I have four panniers (saddle bags), two on the front and two on the back, and I usually pack light — sleeping bag, sleeping mat, a few bike shorts and shirts (gotta have that spandex), a few kicking-around clothes, running shoes, bike maintenance stuff, a few books, toiletries, and a bit of food to last me ’til the next grocery store.

I depend on everything I have so it forces me to keep an eye on everything pretty closely.

We always make sure not to have any drug-related stuff when we cross borders, and the only thing that had me stuck for an explanation was the cuts on my arm in Mexico — I didn’t know enough Spanish to convey that I didn’t get stabbed and that they had been willingly inflicted.

 

Cyclist meet-up in Vancouver

ROO: 

Another close shave?  Can you remember how the conversation went?

GWEN: 

It started with a lot of broken English, quite a lot of pointing at their arms referring to mine, me smiling sweetly and looking to Morgan hoping he’d be able to explain the situation, and then ending up saying “lo mismo los tattoos(ROO Rough translation – “the same the tattoos”), adding plenty of hand gestures and then yours truly walking away quickly.

 

Gwen and Morgan in mainland Mexico with his parents

ROO: 

Care to talk about the ‘cuts’ that almost got you into trouble and how you came to receive them? It was a scarification pierce by Rafael, correct?

GWEN: 

Yes, that was a good time. I remember at my suspension Philip Barbosa mentioning he lived in Mexico so I sent him a message to see if he knew any cool places to check out and he forwarded me to Rafael, who lives in La Paz where I was headed.

We met him and ended up hanging out for the time we were in the city then spending time at his piercing studio. I learned that he did scarification, and as I was itching to get more work done (hadn’t had any in a year — too long!) I mentioned I could be a guinea pig if he needed more pictures for his portfolio — and the next day I was getting prepped for the scalpel! Rafael did a great job and now I have a keepsake of my travels in Mexico.

 

Having scarification done by Rafael (Symbiosis) in La Paz, Mexico

ROO: 

Could you ramble a little more about your experience with Rafael please honey?

GWEN: 

Asking me to ramble? (ROONo, I’m demanding it!)

With pleasure!

The scarification was done at his shop (Symbiosis, La Paz, Mexico) under very sterile conditions. He changed his gloves often, and wiped my skin down with an anti-bacterial swab. He changed scalpel blades a few times — he explained they lose their sharpness — and wrapped my arm in saran wrap after he was done. It was a new challenge to see someone repeatedly cutting into the same spot while I could watch it all go down (with my calf cutting I was blind to what was going on), but I prefer ‘seeing the pain’, letting it flow through me, and still remaining calm.

ROO: 

Did you manage to get any rest after he’d unwielded his scalpel and before you rode off into the night?

GWEN: 

Oh, I slept wonderfully that night — all the rush of emotions and endorphins makes me tired after being cut. We stayed at a hostel so we had time to do laundry and give my arm a day off to get a head start on healing before I’d be riding again.

ROO: 

Staying on the topic of your skin for a moment, have you got any special tattoos you’d like share with us?

GWEN: 

There is my tree lady, she signifies everything I encompass.

She reminds me of how I’m half of the earth, and half human, as every cell in my body is comprised of materials that were formally individual molecules that belonged to rocks and plants and water and so on. The roots remind me to stay grounded and remember that I am part of the greater circle of life and not ontop of it.

 

Feral, Womantree

ROO: 

You’re a diamond, would you say suspending makes you feel the same way?

GWEN: 

My suspension is hard to put into a few words. It brought me to a level of consciousness where I could feel the energy of the world and of those around me and embrace them fully.

For the first time in my life I felt connected and loved everthing with a childlike innocence.

 

Gwen’s suspension

ROO: 

That’s beautiful Gwen, like the pink skin of a baby’s bottom. Anyway, you’re obviously planning on doing a lot more travelling in the future, do you see yourself getting more piercings, (hopefully intentional) scars or tattoos along the way?

GWEN: 

Absolutely; I like to think of body modifications I collect on the road symbolizing the time and place of where they were done. I adore having different people work on me and forming those types of bonds with as many people as possible.

ROO: 

Do you generally find that the people you meet on your travels are hospitable?

GWEN: 

Surprisingly so. I never knew how welcoming people can be to those they’ve never met before and know nothing about. I could tell you a hundred instances of when someone did something so generous and nice — in all the three countries I’ve been riding through, too. If I ever have an address I’m staying at I know I’ll be welcoming any traveller coming through; a warm shower is the best gift when you’re riding all day and don’t want to pay for a room just to get some hot water.

ROO: 

Have you ever considered starting a cyclists-rest type service to help your fellow iron jockeys?

GWEN: 

Absolutely! There’s a women with the moniker ‘the cookie lady’ who welcomes all bike tourers to enjoy a warm shower, a place to stay and, of course, some cookies. There’s another site, www.warmshowers.org, that connects those looking for a place to crash. So the framework is in place, I merely want to be another cookie-lady — only I’d make ’em vegan.

ROO: 

I’d take up cycling if there were vegan cookies at the end of the trail!

Hopefully not, but has anything disastrous happened to you whilst you’ve been roaming the planet that made you regret your path in life? Even for a moment?

GWEN: 

Not a thing. Becoming a homeless wanderer was the best decision I ever made. The first week in Mexico made me want to be back in the States, but that’s the only time I felt like changing my route slightly. (A car slowed down and — with great precision — pushed me off the side of the road! I fell pretty hard on my hip and banged my head on the cement, luckily I had a helmet.)

ROO: 

Jeepers, that was a bit mean, onwards to some merrier questions!

Out of all the places you’ve been to can you pick one that struck you as the most beautiful?

Is it the people you’ve met or the places you’ve visited that stand out most for you?

GWEN: 

Haha people always ask this (ROO:  Gosh, I’m predictable) and I never know what to say.

Every place has its own qualities that make it special, y’know? If I had to pick my favourite place, it’d probably be Northern California. There was this hiking trail that decided we should bike, and to cut a long story short, after pushing our bikes on this slippery wet trail up a good two hundred metres (or so it seemed) I saw the Redwoods for the first time in all their beauty and wanted to die I was so happy.

Despite that I’d have to say the people I’ve met stand out the most, as there were so many breathtaking vistas and cool places but only a dozen or so people I really connected with, and they made the areas seem alive.

I was in awe of every different landscape change, there were just too many; I remember them as one giant conglomerate of amazing scenery, whereas individual people are easier to recall.

 

Travelling the California coast.

ROO: 

And we all know how you feel about conglomerates!

Could you run through the route you took on your epic voyage so people get an impression of just how amazing you are?

 

The course, starting in Mexico.

GWEN: 

Well, I began in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, went northwest, around Lake Superior, connected to Hwy 1 and stuck to that straight through all the provinces to British Columbia. I stopped in Winnepeg, Manitoba and Calgary, Alberta but didn’t take a full rest day other than those times. I went through Banff then connected to Hwy 3 south through B.C. (where I hooked up with Morgan) then followed the U.S. border on that highway ’til I hit Vancouver, then I ferried to Victoria on Vancouver Island, went up to Cumberland then back down to Hornby Island, then took a boat to Ucluelet on the western shore (and saw my first real sunrise over the ocean), went by Tofino then rode back to go to Salt Spring Island, then back to Victoria, which ended my Canadian stretch.

 

Hornby Island

 

From Victoria Morgan and I took a ferry to Port Angeles in Washington, rode out to the coast stopping in Olympic Nat’l Park, then went inwards to hit Olympia, rode down to Portland (great bike route connecting the two), then back out to the coast to Tillamook and continued on the 101 all the way through Oregon an California, going through the Lost Coast Highway then down to San Fran, Big Sur and on to San Diego, which ended the U.S. part.

We crossed the border to Mexico in Tecate, a few kilometres east of Tijuana, then took the main highway all the way down Baja to La Paz, where we ferried over to Mazatlan and from there we pretty much packed our bikes on buses and the train through Copper Canyon. From there I headed east through Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi to rest in Alabama where I am now (done through hitchhiking and buses also).

 

Morgan and Gwen in Mexico

ROO: 

For the budding cyclists amongst us (not me unfortunately) could you wow us with the specifications of the bike you use and any other tips for the would-be leg powered vagrant.

GWEN: 

My bike isn’t too boast-worthy. I don’t know the specifics, aside from the components are all Shimano, about the second to top of the line, twenty-seven speeds, drop-down handle bars, 27″ rims and everything has held up ’cept for the occasional flat tire.

As far as tips go, to anyone who’s thinking about being a vagrant, I say DO IT. Take a few hundred bucks and just take off. If you’re open to going with the flow and taking opportunities as they come, there’s no telling where you’ll end up. And definitely make connections over BME — this here site introduced me to Morgan who I was with everyday for seven months, plus a wonderful lady in Portland (no longer has her page up), Rafael in Mexico, and soon to be another man in Alabama whom I’ve already fallen in love with. If I had stayed at home I can guarantee that wouldn’t have happened. Oh, and Food Not Bombs is in almost every big city and good for a free meal…and raid every dumpster you can find — you can find tonnes of good food from grocery stores!

ROO: 

You’ve almost answered this question, but what exactly do you eat when you’re on the road?

GWEN: 

Anything and everything. I started out vegan but relax that to vegetarian most of the time. Peanut butter and bananas has been a staple, but I’ll take anything I can get. As I said, dumpstering brings much of my bounty.

Why pay for it when they’re just throwing it out?

ROO: 

I agree completely, but have you ever been so delirious with excitement upon finding a tasty treat that you gobbled it down without poking at it, then found it to be something poisonous or otherwise unpleasant?

GWEN: 

I threw up once…I was eating donuts that came out of a dumpster and I probably wasn’t careful enough in selecting the ones that didn’t get contaminated with other stuff in the garbage bag. Aside from that I don’t think I’ve ever been sick this whole trip.

ROO: 

I wouldn’t be surprised if your constitution’s comparable to that of oxen by now!  Even though that might be true were you at all worried about the risk of developing an infection after the work by Rafael?

There is quite a lot of media-coverage at the moment surrounding the spread of hepatitis in Mexico (that you can contract it from simply drinking a glass of water etcetera).

GWEN: 

I’ve heard a few things about the risk of catching diseases in Mexico but I wasn’t worried; I had eaten their food for two months with no ill effects so I felt fairly confident I’d be okay.

ROO: 

Let’s hear Rafael’s view on the situation.. apologies for making you orange but colours are being rationed in Canada at the moment..

RAFAEL: 

The Mexican authorities don’t seem to care about body piercing, scarification etcetera..

The senators have recently approved a new law to protect these activities and the customers but really it’s just a meaningless piece of paper!

A lot of people work in the streets, markets and carnivals performing body piercings and scarification, it’s very sad because they attract more custom than an established studio, they also don’t pay rent or taxes and so forth which is obviously bad for the economy.

Customers still supporting these psuedo-artists can very easily pay less than 8 USD for a street piercing, and they don’t seem to care much about the quality of the jewellery, sterility of the equipment or the modification they walk away with.

Piercings in a professional studio usually cost from between 20 USD and 40 USD.

You get what you pay for!

ROO: 

Thanks for the insight Rafael.

From what you’ve just said it appears not, but do you think the chance of someone contracting Hepatitis deters people from having scarification/piercing work done in Mexico?

RAFAEL: 

Obviously I ensure that everything in my studio is clean and sterile!

Only a very small percentage of customers express concerns about Hepatitis, to be honest most of them don’t seem to care.

I’ve been piercing for five years now, I attend seminars to increase my knowledge, I’ve got health department certificates and one of my accquaintances is a doctor who I can call upon if I need support, so in that respect my credentials are amazing!

ROO: 

Do you find you have to work extra hard to bring people in to your shop because of this risk?

RAFAEL: 

Not really, piercings are very popular at the moment.

Most of my customers seem more worried about how much the piercing will cost more than anything.

The vaste majority of scarifications I do are on close friends, and basically I do them for free because scars aren’t really that popular where I live.

In peoples minds the risk of contracting hepatitis doesn’t seem to register so I don’t really have to work any harder to dispel fears or anxieties regarding it.

What I do have to work hard for though is people coming in with crappy jewellery and terrible piercings from the pseudo-piercers I mentioned before.

All in all the situation looks awful but there’s a lot of information out there right now, websites such as BMEzine.com, magazines and so forth, but people just look at the pictures and don’t read the articles.

I don’t know, it’s crazy! The situation in Mexico at the moment is affecting the industry I love and the career that ensures I earn money.

Now I charge 20 USD for a piercing (including jewellery) just to ensure I can pay the rent.

That’s the situation here in La Paz, but I suppose it’s the same everywhere in Mexico City. You can find blocks and blocks of streets filled with jewellery stands and ‘piercers’.

Here’s an example of a crappy tattoo done in a local ‘tattoo studio’ for 30 USD!

 

30 USD tattoo

ROO: 

So there it is from the horse’s mouth, make your own minds up guys!

Gwen, how many spokes does your bike have?

GWEN: 

A lot. Thirty-six or something maybe? Don’t know for sure.

ROO: 

And you call yourself a cyclist!

GWEN: 

I’m still starting out! I may have biked a hell of a lot but I’ve never looked into the technicalities! (ROO That’s me told!)

 

Oregon and Washington

ROO: 

Where do you see yourself in five/ten/fifteen years or so? This is probably a rather silly question but do you have any plans to settle down inside a white picket fence and make marmalade with your husband?

GWEN: 

That’s a tricky one. I don’t look too far in the future as long as the present doesn’t pose too many problems. I’d like to be building my own little place out of reclaimed/dumpstered things and have enough land to grow all my own food and can it during the winter. There´ll be no white picket fence, but maybe some branches to keep the wild animals from eating my garden. Funny you mention that, though, ’cause I’m about to move into a place that appears to be that perfect little house.. I’m not one for marriage but I wouldn’t mind having having someone to sow seeds with (literally, not sexually, I refuse to give birth to a child) with. That said, I’ll be a wanderer for the rest of my days at least part of the year. The wanderlust is implanted deep.

 

Morgan in Todos Santos

ROO: 

I hope it was implanted under suitably sterile conditions. Ok how about this question instead..

Where will you be travelling next?

I’m sure if folks had a vague idea of your plans they’d be willing to offer you some free (or at least discounted) scarification/tattoo work. That is if you have a vague idea, of course.

GWEN: 

Unfortunately I don’t know which route I’ll be taking from here (ROO I saw that coming). I’d like to see North Carolina and Tennessee, but I really want to see everything so it’s impossible to pinpoint where I’ll be going next, I usually decide where to go on a whim or a suggestion.. or if someone’s willing to let me sleep on their couch for a night!

ROO: 

If there are people reading this willing to help you out on your travels by offering a bed, simple home cooked meal, a warm shower or a night at a strip club how should they contact you?

GWEN: 

Assuming they’re on IAM, that’d be the best way to contact me (Hi-Ho), but gmail works too ([email protected]) — I’ll be staying in Alabama for a while, but come nice weather I’ll be hittin’ the dusty trail again so if anyone is down for biking with me a few kilometers or just hanging out, shoot me a line!

ROO: 

Any final words you think might be of interest to our lovely (and by now probably as exhausted as you felt upon reaching Victoria) readers?

GWEN: 

As far as final words go, I want to be an example of a free-spirited vagrant who decided to live life and choose my own path rather than being led around by someone else’s ideas. The best way to travel is cheap — you meet every type of person and go through every situation, from the lowest to the highest.

I feel if you’re open to the world, she’ll embrace you. As a fellow hitchhiker once said to me: “You meet the angels and the freaks, the sinners and the saints, but that’s what makes the world go round.”

I hope I inspire other kids my age (or anyone) to give up the constant rush of consumer society and breathe in the fresh air and just not care.

ROO: 

Thank you so much Gwendolen, you’re a trooper. Stay safe and may the wanderlust be with you always.

GWEN: 

<3

 

  Just imagine how unstoppable (and unlikely) the love child of Pauly and Gwen would be!
 


Roo Crumbs (iam:RooBot) is 28 29 (ugh), male, a thousand feet tall, and grazes on the treetops for breakfast. He’s covered from nape of neck to tip of wang in heart tattoos. He likes to read and write. He won’t fix your computer (unless you ask nicely) and he doesn’t like Charles Dickens, football or The Beatles.

This article is copyright © 2008 BMEzine.com, and for bibliographical purposes was first published May 16th, 2008.