This nice biomechanical piece, scary hidden eyeball and all, comes to us from Fap (Fap!) at Rapid Needle Movement in Longwy, France. Between said eyeball, the excellent placement and the fact that the artist’s name is Fap (Fap!), this one was pretty much destined for ModBlog from day one.
Sean Philips is quite the taskmaster:
Mr. Atlanta/Alan, an applicant for an apprenticeship with Sean Philips, got this “What Would Sean Do?” My Little Pony tattoo done by Sean’s wife, Rianne. This type of ass kissing goes a long way.
Mercifully, Alan got the apprenticeship. And a good thing, too, otherwise we might have been hearing about this story on the local news.
See more in “Cartoon Tattoos“ (Tattoos)
In the event that you need a bit of a palate-cleanser after that Mike Beer interview, here’s a nice piece Chloe got in tribute to her dad, finely rendered by Greg Rojas at Everlasting Tattoo in San Francisco, California.
See more in “Old School (and Old) Tattoos“ (Tattoos)
Mike Beer and his offensive tattoos have received their fair share of attention on ModBlog, and the reaction has been … mixed, to say the least. Since the dawn of time, humans have wondered what goes through the mind of a person who devotes his skin to tattoos of jokes about child rape, transsexuals and gay Nazis. Today, we get a little closer to answering these questions. I will mention, however, that almost all of these tattoos have been featured on ModBlog previously, but the interview is brand new.
To read The Man With the World’s Most Tasteless Tattoos, click here.
[Ed. note: Comments on this post have been disabled. Go nuts in the forum attached to the article. Thanks.]
Mike Beer and his offensive tattoos have received their fair share of attention on ModBlog, and the reaction has been … mixed, to say the least. Since the dawn of time, humans have wondered what goes through the mind of a person who devotes his skin to tattoos of jokes about child rape, transsexuals and gay Nazis. Today, we get a little closer to answering these questions.
Note: Most of the tattoos featured in this interview have been featured previously on ModBlog.
BME: First of all, tell us about yourself.
Mike Beer: Well, I lived in Northern Virginia my whole life, but recently moved to Atlantic City, New Jersey, to play in my band, Call The Paramedics, full time, as well as to be surrounded by assholes like myself. I have been getting tattooed since I was about 17 and am now about to turn 23. My first tattoo was a small hand-poked pentagram on my ankle, which I have had fixed so that it no longer looks like garbage, but I’ve had mad love for Satan since the beginning.
Humor is very important to me. However, since I would say I am rather desensitized to almost everything, the things that are hilarious to me are not very amusing to others, which is what brings us to this interview.
BME: Indeed it does. Have you always been an attention whore?
MB: Yes, I’ve been an attention whore for pretty much as long as I can remember — mainly because, when I was real little, my parents would beat me, lock me in the cellar, and occasionally make me put put on sex shows with our German Shepherd for them and all their friends while they would drink moonshine and throw dixie cups of scalding hot water on me. (Throughout my childhood, our dog Roxy was my best friend.)
I guess nowadays I’m just finding my outlet for all the pain and humiliation I endured as a kid … or maybe I just want to have an excuse to take off my clothes in front of strangers and everything I just said was a lie. Who really knows?
BME: Alright, enough of your yarns. How would you describe your sense of humor? What’s funny to you?
MB: I’d have to say my sense of humor is a cross between “modern” and extremely ignorant. I’ll make a joke out of anything: cripples, old people, blacks, Jews, Mexicans, whites … and any other things I may have forgotten. Your dog dies? Funny. You have a death in the family? Funny. A girl and her boyfriend have been trying for a long time to have a child, they finally get pregnant and eight months into the pregnancy she has a miscarriage? Hilarious. But don’t worry folks, whatever I dish out I can take in return.
BME: So it’s less to do with being funny and more to do with being an awful human being. Got it. Anyway, your declaration of love for Satan aside, what was the first “offensive” tattoo you got? Tell us about it.
MB: First “offensive” tattoo I got was the man with a pussy eating himself on my leg, although nobody ever really found it to be offensive. Shortly after getting that, I got the chick with a cock shitting on herself. Both tattoos were done by Eric Doyle at Jinx Proof Tattoo in Washington, D.C. Many people were not happy with chick with the cock, so I’d consider those my first offensive tattoos. I originally just wanted the guy eating himself and at the last minute decided he should have a pussy. The idea for the chick with the cock was merely an attempt at some kind of symmetry on my legs. And again, the poop was added last minute.
BME: Hey, when you’re right, you’re right — the poop certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the piece. What came next?
MB: If I’m not mistaken, the white power unicorn tattoo came next. It was all downhill from there.
BME: The white power unicorn is offensive to pretty much every imaginable group. What was the thought process behind that one? Did you feel like you were crossing a certain threshold once you got a Nazi swastika tattooed on you, the ridiculous context and the fact that it was for the sake of a joke notwithstanding?
MB: The Nazi unicorn was also pretty spontaneous. My buddy Jason wanted to tattoo this piece of unicorn flash and couldn’t find anyone who wanted it, and I was obviously game under certain conditions — that is, I told him it had to be the most hateful unicorn ever. The best reaction I’ve ever gotten was, “How could something so beautiful be so ugly?”
For the record, I am not a Nazi — I just like to make fun of everything. People need to lighten up, and if they don’t like what I’m about? That’s fine with me, join the rest of the crowd. I didn’t really feel like I crossed over some kind of line, but that is pretty much when I decided that damn near every tattoo I got from then on needed to come close or outdo the last one, and I’ve been making good progress, with plans for much more.
BME: Have you gotten any memorably bad reactions to your work?
MB: Nothing that really stands out. I’ve noticed my mom on several occasions looking at the trannies on my legs; she knows that they are there but never really says anything. I’d imagine she is just bottling it up deep down inside and never letting it out. I’ve had trannies actually come up to me after they saw my legs, and they thought it was hilarious. Surprisingly enough I’ve gotten the most negative response on here, which is funny because some of the most horrible things I’ve seen were on BME. It’s kind of ironic.
BME: While I’ve got you here, why don’t you tell me a bit about your band.
MB: Well, I play drums in Call The Paramedics. We’re Atlantic City–based scumbag death rock. I guess our music could be described as Cannibal Corpse raping AC/DC while El Duce narrates. We attack the crowd, our singer cuts his face open, I blow fire, and this is all accompanied with massive amounts of cocaine. I’ve been told the music is pretty good too. You could say we’re for fans of GG Allin, rape, dirty needles, golden showers, cars parked in front of handicapped ramps, elderly shut-ins, and people broke down on the side of the road due to massive car pile ups from wandering stray dogs on the highway.
BME: Well, that sounds … great. Does anything offend you? Do you think it’s possible to go too far? Humor me here.
MB: Eh, not really. There are plenty of things that I think are wrong, but it doesn’t mean I won’t make a joke out of it. For example, I love animals, but I just got a dog in a kennel being put down tattooed on my leg. I would probably never rape a little kid, but I have “It’s rape time” with candy and little kids’ body parts tattooed on me, and so on. I live in an area and am friends with some of the most rotten people on the planet; around here it’s an ongoing battle of who can really lower the bar. I just want to fit in, you know?
BME: Nice of you to mention that you’d “probably” never rape a little kid. Classy. So where do you go from here?
MB: Aside from hell? There is nowhere to go but down. Oh, for all the ladies on here, holla at me. I’m a great “bring-home-to-the-parents” kind of guy.
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We’re usually treated to plenty of Anna around these parts, but it’s much more infrequent that we get to see her handsome husband, Lucas, with whom she owns Pirate Piercing, and tangos, apparently.
(Photo by Benoit Meeus, dress from Flesh and Bones.)
See more in “Couples who met through BME“ (Culture)
Thiago sends in this lovely shot of Lorena Velten, sporting a wrist implant by Thiago, in a photo by Naio Rezende. Have a good night, ModBloggers.
See more in “3D-Art Implants“ (Implants) (members only)
Good afternoon, ModBloggers! Here we’ve got a nice cover-up job by Dave Duchene at Live Once Tattoo in North Bay, Ontario. I mean, I don’t know if I personally would have covered up the, um … is that a unicorn giving birth to a tiger, in space? OK, maybe a cover-up was due.
See more in “Skull and Skeleton tattoos“ (Tattoos)
And finally, to celebrate Toronto’s record-breaking heat today, here’s a shot of the lovely clockorange doing her best impression of a palm tree after doing some light dreadlock maintenance.
Kind of a big week around these parts. In case you missed it:
– We were cold killin’ unicorns.
– Pretty women wore nightmarish animal heads.
– We saw the Fnords. (Or did we?)
– BME Shop now features 25 percent more penis owls.
– The BME Podcast arrived, featuring very special guest Allen Falkner!
– A couple of dudes showed off their pussies, what’s the big deal?
And that is that, friends. We’ll be here over the weekend and should have a new article for you at some point, and if all goes well, another podcast early next week. Until then, enjoy Watchmen, give Rampage your love, be safe and, as always, thank you for your continued support of BME.
[Whoa, Momma!] So this slutty sex doll, whatshername, Barbie, took a break from getting abortions and giving herself roofies to get some tattoos, just in time for her 50th birthday! This week’s overblown and self-important tattoo-related outrage comes from various people who are VERY OFFENDED that international drug cartel Mattel has released “Totally Stylin’ Tattoo Barbie,” a children’s toy that comes with 40 different temporary tattoos that will keep this bitch from ever getting a job, as well as a “tattoo gun” for the kids to give themselves their own temporary tattoos, which is completely inappropriate, apparently.
Yes, that’s right, a tattoo gun so instead of applying it with a wet wash cloth, 8 year-olds can simulate that milestone in every minor’s life experience of actual needles pumping permanent dye into their growing bodies.
Again, this has nothing to do with tattoos for consenting adults, but everything to do with age-appropriate toys. And in my humble opinion, the age 5 designated on the box is off by about 20 years and a hepatitis C shot.
This piece was squeezed from the mindgrapes of the Suburban Diva herself, Tracey Henry, who is positively aghast that CHILDREN will be using a FAKE TATTOO GUN, which is really just a stamp, essentially, but righteous indignation over stamps doesn’t get you featured on CNN, I guess.
There will be some who disagree, pointing out that Barbie is just keeping up with what’s in style right now and that this is merely a toy that kids can play make-believe like other adult activities.
I counter that bellbottoms and leg-warmers didn’t need to be removed with laser treatments and Barbie’s Dream Wedding gown didn’t come with bottles of Tequila for a pretend open-bar reception.
In conclusion, Tracey Henry was probably paid to write this.
[The Live Feed] Because there aren’t quite enough tattoo-related television shows, it was just announced that A&E will be airing Tattoo Highway, a reality program in which Thomas Pendleton, formerly of A&E’s Inked, will continue to tattoo people on camera, but there’s an important twist:
In “Tattoo Highway,” Pendelton and his wife and business partner, Monica (who also appeared on “Inked”), have transformed a 1970s tour bus into a mobile tattoo parlor. They will travel to cities including Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Phoenix and Salt Lake City, inking customers.
Boom. Nailed it. The bus angle worked wonders for Bret Michaels and his skank-banging, so it should really come as no surprise that others are picking up on this as the next big thing. I see big, big things for the future of reality television—big, bus-related things. The network is clearly thrilled about the prospect:
Executive producer Bob Horowitz said the traveling element will differentiate the show from previous tattoo docusoaps.
“All the other series have been based in tattoo parlors,” he said. “Here the premise is this is the first tattoo parlor on wheels, and he goes where the stories are. Imagine all the things that can happen when you take something like this on the road and all the things that can happen.”
Never mind that Horowitz is shamelessly hyping what is by far the worst part of these tattoos shows—namely, that great tattoos must have some big and important story behind them—but man, how exciting does he think a husband and wife going on a road trip is going to be, vocation notwithstanding? Are they going to be chased by land pirates? Did Dennis Hopper plant a bomb on the bottom of the bus that’ll explode if the speed falls below 50 mph?
“From the creation of the art to the environment that I tattooed in, it has always been about my customers’ experience,” Pendelton said. “In a street shop, it was easy to forget just how personal that experience should be. Rolling up and parking the shop right in the middle of someone’s life, well, there is nothing more personal than that.”
AND THEN THE BUS EXPLODES! No? OK, fine, whatever.
[Needles and Sins] Speaking of new blog ventures, fiery redhead and friend of BME, Marisa Kakoulas DiMattia, has escaped the evil (not so evil?) clutches of Needled and has struck out on her own with Needles and Sins, which promises the same lurid, untamed filth we’ve come to expect from her. Today, she offers a thorough review of the iPhone’s new “Tattoo Shop” application, which lets users ruin their perfectly good photos with the demon’s ink. Some of her findings included:
– [T]he biggest problem: the choice of artwork or lack thereof — and I use “artwork” almost facetiously. SonicBoom partnered with flash peddlers TattooJohnny.com but instead of loading up on, say, the cool Bob Tyrrell and Tim Creed commercial designs, the app finds itself heavy on the old Cherry Creek-styled jammies — aka tribal armbands abound and pin-ups with big 80s hair.
[…]
– [T]he leafy panties on the female belly skin is just disturbing. It looks like lettuce is growing from her vulva to her waist. It did make me hungry for a nice Greek salad though. [Ed. note: Gotta say … that description had the opposite effect on me. Thanks, though.]
[…]
– The coolest thing about the app: using your own photos or being able to take one on the spot. I shot my non-tattooed sis to let her see what she’s look like with a Tyson tribal on her face. As the kids say, “Hawt!”
Listen lady, I know you think you’re all hip now that you’re back in New York, but the kids aren’t saying “Hawt!” The kids are riding buses, everywhere, into each others’ lives, and raping each other, with Barbies. Nice blog, though.