There’s No Here


Well kiddies, let’s knock off today with this handsome shot of Brian, hanging out in the shade, beaming out a cold, hard stare. Don’t try to look away. The stare will find you. Would the stare be any good at what it does if it couldn’t find you? No. No it would not.

Sleep on that, ModBloggers. We’ll see you tomorrow.

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Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 9, 2009)

[Goldcoast] As we’ve discussed in the past, henna is, above most other things, an insidious plot by any number of shadowy poison syndicates to horrifically mangle and mutilate your young children. Don’t believe it? Well listen, then, to the tale of young Cannon Cribb:

The five-year-old recently returned from Bali where locals painted a dragon on his arm with what his parents now realise was a substance containing para-phenylenediamine (PPD).

All was fine until the tattoo wore off completely and the entire area welted into the shape of the original image, some two weeks after it was first put on.

The family now fear Cannon will be left with a life-long scar.

First of all, this kid’s name is Cannon. How awesome is that? Even money that he’s already the most popular in his class just because of that, and now he’s got a dragon on his arm? Look, it’s terrible in a lot of ways and something clearly has to be done about the shitbags who keep using this low-grade junk (it’s actually the additive PPD and not henna itself that causes this reaction, and the boy’s mother makes a very valid point: “‘What if a little girl got a butterfly on her face?”), but holy crap this kid is going to get so much ass. I mean, not as a five-year-old. Oh, God, no. We don’t support that. Plus, it’s not really physiologically possible. Hopefully. Who knows what kinda mutant hormones they’re draining into milk these days.

[Showbiz Spy] So hey, here is a very important article about popular sex actress Megan Fox, who, as it turns out, is just like everyone else out there who was mildly overbearing parents! Megan was all, “Hey I want to get tattooed,” and her mom was all, “But you’re so pretty already,” and Megan was all, “But I really really want a sleeve,” and her mom was all, “There’ll be none of that under my roof, young lady,” and Megan was all, “I’M A GROWN WOMAN I CAN DO WHAT I WANT,” and her mom was all, “RAAAAAAR NO YOU WON’T, NOW EAT YOUR BRUSSELS SPROUTS,” and so Megan ran to her room and slammed the door and cried herself to sleep, the end.

Megan Fox’s mother, Darlene, hates it when her superstar daughter gets a new tattoo.

Darlene is apparently furious at the Transformers star’s plans to cover her entire right arm in a tattoo “sleeve.”

“Her mom has never understood why her daughter would want to cover her gorgeous body with tattoos,” said an insider. “After each new tattoo, Darlene pleaded with Megan not to get more.

“Darlene believes that when Megan is a 40-year-old woman wanting to play more mature roles, people won’t want to hire her because it will be too hard to cover her tattoos.”

God it must really suck to be Megan Fox these days.

[NBA FanHouse] And finally, in celebration of tonight’s game three of everyone’s favorite NBA Finals between the Lakers and Magic, here is another heartbreaking tale of authoritarian power trying to limit the expression of tattooed people, except instead of parents it’s a multi-billion dollar clothing company, and instead of Megan Fox it’s a seven-foot-tall Polish man. Practically the same thing. Anyway, Marcin Gortat, back-up center for Orlando, has been a pleasant surprise for anybody betting on the Magic these playoffs, but apparently his sponsor, Reebok, is none too pleased with the way he’s chosen to adorn himself with terrible inky idolatry:

[Gortat] received an uncomfortable phone call last weekend from Reebok, with whom he has a shoe contract. Representatives of the company were not happy to see a picture of him from Game 1 in a Polish newspaper that prominently displayed his Michael Jordan/Nike logo tattoo on his lower right leg.

Reebok asked him either to wear higher socks tonight to cover up the tattoo, or to apply makeup so it will not be noticed through the rest of the NBA Finals.

“They called and said I had to do something about it, but that ain’t going to happen,” Gortat said after Tuesday morning’s workout.

“I’ve been wearing it 4-5 years now, and it helped me get to the NBA,” said Gortat. “They didn’t say anything about it when I signed the contract, so it’s not going anywhere. I don’t think they are paying me enough to take it off.”

This is hardly a first for Reebok. A few years back, San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan decided to forgo the usual NFL coach’s warm-up jacket and track-pants ensemble and wear a suit on the sidelines. Which would have been fine, had Reebok not been the official provider of sideline clothing for the league’s coaches, and so the NFL denied him his suits. Finally, because this was such a stupid story, everyone lightened up and Reebok just designed some suits for him to wear. All of which is to say, we’re all praying for Gortat when he is inevitably captured by Reebok’s thugs and has his little Air Jordan logo covered with a Reebok-approved pump.

Guess What? Tuesday Edition


Welcome, all, to America’s fastest-growing carpentry sex party, Guess What?, coming to you LIVE with a special(?) Tuesday edition! You know the rules: Up there is some sort of obscene image, and you just plump the depths of your debauched and depraved mind trying to guess what it is. And, if you get it right, you win…A BRAND NEW GIRAFFE! Aren’t you tired of your old giraffe? Well…here’s your chance to get a new one. And no cheating, either. Cheating at Guess What? is an affront to God.

(Click through up top to reveal the image, and after the jump, some supplementary shots. No peeking!)

(Facial tattoos by Mik Clark at Mr. Miks Northwich, UK.)

See more in Facial and Neck Tattoos (Tattoos)

Let the Wheels Burn


I’ve said it before, folks, but if there’s one thing we’re committed to here at ModBlog, it’s robots fighting alligators alien conspiracies gorillas in drag bringing you, the reader, the absolute best in cephalopod-related body art. Well, today is no different, as Mandic has sent in these shots of Kujoton‘s brand new octopus cutting courtesy of none other than the Thunder From Down Under, Wayde Dunn at Infinite in scenic Philadelphia. Oh, you want more? Yeah, we’ve got more. I think you know where to look.

See more in Wayde Dunn Scarification (Scarification)

Echoes In My Heart


Hey, so! Kind of a bizarro day down here at the ol’ ModBlog, right? So what the hell, let’s finish up with some more glorious absurdity, this time from occasional BME videographer Chris, sporting the above lens-mug by Cory Ferguson at Good Point Tattoos. Check out the source material after the jump, but in the meantime, ModBloggers, here’s something to think on for the night: Camera-face vs. Crazy Newspaper Face—who ya got?

Until tomorrow, friends.

The Dumbest Story You’ll Read All Day You’ve Read Every Day, Forever

Confession time: I have been purposely avoiding writing about this “story” because it is such a stupid fabrication, but for some godforsaken reason it has sadly become a legitimate news meme—indeed, it seems to have usurped that rash of, “Hey Even Your GRANDMA Is Getting Tattooed Now” pieces from late last year—and has seriously been repeated at least 20 times in various outlets over the past few weeks, so, whatever, let’s pick one at random. Anyway, remember those glorious salad days when people were just getting tattooed all the time, without a care in the world, because there were JOBS? Well, now that the world economy has been assassinated and all of our money has been shot into space to make room for all of the inconsiderate over-populators, lots of newspapers and TV stations are reporting that tattoo-removal businesses are the new kings of earth, paragons of solvency and all sorts of other things that probably aren’t true. Here is the tale of one such master race from New Mexico:

Many are afraid that a simple tattoo could keep them from getting a job, so many of them are making a date with a laser.

Dr. Lauren Chavez runs Clear Waves Laser Center and says a lot more people want to get rid of visible tattoos.

Chavez said Friday, “We seen just in the last couple of months…a really high increase in desire for tattoo removal on the hands, wrists, neck, face anywhere that’s visible.”

She said, “Some of them tell me that their hopefully future employer told them that they wouldn’t hide them, because of the visible tattoo. Some employers have even offered to pay for it, which is awful surprising…and that was a local bank.”

A local bank, you say? Well holy shit! What more incontrovertible evidence could you possibly need? See, this is the kind of non-reporting that comprises damn-near every “trend-spotting” article of this sort and truly makes my balls ache above most other things. This canard arguably originated in this May 24, 2009, New York Post article, which was similarly light on facts and relied on a thimbleful of weak-ass anecdotal evidence, but hey, tattoo-removal centers probably appreciated the press, right? So they fanned out across the country, calling up their local understaffed newspapers and news stations and whatnot to say, “Hey, this isn’t only happening in big old New York! This very popular trend is also occurring right under your noses!”

And so a bogus, wholly manufactured and preposterous “trend” is born. Are people getting tattoos removed these days? They surely are. Is it happening en masse because a generation of these ink-stained hoodlums is desperately seeking recession-proof work in the private sector? Ha ha NO, that is almost definitely NOT what is happening, except you wouldn’t know it by the almost daily articles on this very subject, everywhere. Phew. In conclusion, this, like most things, is probably the Post‘s fault.

More Job Seekers Getting Tattoos Removed [KOB.com]

There Is No Crime To Dreams Like This


Well, this is a little easier to stomach than that last post, hmm? If my sources are trustworthy, that’d be Kallee up there, hanging out in scenic Fresno, California, wearing this beautifully executed corset project assembled by the mysterious “Dana.” Corset piercings are already, for my money, some of the most visually appealing modifications we run across with some regularity around these parts, but outfit-coordination like this? That takes finesse. Lovely work.

See more in Body Surface Piercing: Body (Surface & Unusual Piercing)

Strangling Kings


Boy howdy, time for lunch already, ModBlog? Well, I don’t know about you, but I am downright famished. Now, let’s see what’s in the ol’ lunchpail toda— oh. Oh. Well…well, that’s just not very appetizing at all, is it? And, really, it’s one thing to take a taste of your own supply, but this just does not seem like a sustainable munching endeavor. On the plus side, she, uh…she can just have some of what I’m having. Couldn’t eat another bite. Truly.

(Tattoo by Paco Dietz at Graven Image Tattoo [Ed. note: No shit.] in Mountain View, California.)

See more in Sci-Fi Tattoos (Tattoos)

Down to the Heart


Good morning, folks! Let’s start off this unseasonably wet and chilly week of June with this month-old forehead cutting by Alicia in Milan, Italy. Many of the facial scarification pieces we’ve seen lately have been pretty heavy duty, so it’s nice to see something a bit more subtle as well—variety is the spice of life and all that, etc. And, hey, for the good of the land, we’ve got a dead-on shot of the above cutting after the jump.

Welcome back, ModBloggers. We gotta stay positive.

See more in Misc. Cuttings (Scarification)

How I Learned To Dance


Good evening, ModBloggers! Hard to believe the weekend’s already over; I feel like I was just on a swing-set, enjoying the warmth, wearing my best sun dress, and tomorrow it’s back to the acid mines. Well, kick up your feet, folks—you deserve it. Whether you want to do so while on the toilet like Faith up there, well, that’s your call, I suppose.

Oh, you want to see a fuller shot of her tattoo work? Yeah, I can do that. Follow me, after the jump.

(Tattoo by Glenn Cole at Endless Boundaries in Ingersoll, Ontario. The design goes down both of her thighs and connects across her lower back; shading and color will be added shortly. These photos were taken by Chris Triance-Martin, and for more of Faith’s modeling, go here. Do it. Do it now.)

See more in Miscellaneous Tattoos (Tattoos)