Oh, Balls


There’s a proud and storied tradition of steering apprentices towards amusing and potentially embarrassing tattoos (more), for loyalty’s sake, which is one of those traditions that rubs some people the wrong way, but, hey—as long as there’s no real coercion, a funny tattoo is a funny tattoo. Well! Aaron Chapman, the owner of and head artist at Eternal Ink in Madisonville, Kentucky, sends in this BME Pain Olympics-inspired tattoo, forever etched in place on the leg of his apprentice, Michael Agnew. That Pain Olympics video was a hoax (shh, don’t tell all the YouTube reaction-video participants!), but this? This is as real as it gets. Ha ha, balls.

The Fish is a Fish


And just like that, David Pozo of Forevermore Tattoo Parlour in Glasgow, Scotland, wins the afternoon! “After the Buttergina’s appearance on ModBlog,” he says, “people seemed to dig the rib piece (seen above), so put it up as well!” We don’t make a habit of humoring threats like this, but we’ll make an exception in this case on account of the unfettered joy a weaponized Sailor Jerry shark gives us. Also, it’s good to know we have someone on whom to rely in the event that Party Shark gets out of hand.

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This Week in BME


And finally, friends, we conclude our broadcast week with Sweden’s own Jhnah, who is upside down, maybe? No? Well then! We figure she’s got some “hair-raising” adventures planned for the weekend ahead! Right? Hair-raising? Because…guh. Never mind. Have a bonus photo as penance for my awfulness, after the jump.

(Tattoo on Agnostic by Daryl at Mata Mata Studios in Hamilton, Ontario.)

And that’s it! What went on this week?

Lilli was attacked by some terrible chocolate monster. She will be missed.

Mindi impressed all with her handsome implants. Hand implants, that is.

It’s 3 O’Clock, how much fun are you having with your lobes?

Jackalope Number One.

We posted a really excellent interview with Bob Roberts that we’d love you to read if you haven’t already.

Right, and here’s a real dickhead.

We’ll poke around over the next couple days, but Monday is when things get going again for reals. Until then, folks, have fun, stay safe, vote for Candace and, as always, thank you for your continued support of BME. Shana Tova.

Hit Those High Notes


Well, here is some straight-up vile pornography, courtesy of the folks at Taop Ansbach, in the Fatherland, who just hang out tattooing various cavernous, sinful body parts all over utilitarian joints all day long, for laughs. We can’t read the German script at the top, but we can only assume it is some manner of mean-spirited slur, speaking derisively of dental dams.

After the jump, the vagiknee is further adorned with goodies.

Greetings From Tattoo Hollywood!


Oh, hello! Sincere apologies for yesterday’s radio silence, folks—your editor was cruelly ripped from the safe confines of his desk and, among other things, was tasked with various duties related to setting things up for Tattoo Hollywood, which is about to get underway! We, along with esteemed colleague Phil Barbosa, spent Thursday morning working with the East German rigging team, hanging various gigantic vinyl banners and bearing witness to the delightful casual racism that is synonymous with unionized physical labor.

The convention space, as forthcoming pictures will illustrate, is lovely. The festivities are being held in the Hollywood Renaissance hotel’s Grand Ballroom, which is complete with great and looming chandeliers made from rare space diamonds (probably), curtain flourishes that would not be out of place on a Broadway stage (or at least some eccentric billionaire’s pansexual orgy gazebo), an outdoor smoking deck overlooking the Hollywood hills and, the component about which your editor is arguably most excited, catering courtesy of Wolfgang Puck. (It’s true that the only touristy activities about which we typically get excited are food-related. Don’t judge us.)

Later in the evening, the BME crew (including the aforementioned Mr. Barbosa, Senior Shouting Officer Jen and ol’ whatshername, Rachel something) headed over to Canvas LA for the grand opening of Alive: The Chosen Views of Bob Roberts, a solo exhibition of the artist’s paintings spanning over 20 years of work. Roberts, the owner of the seminal L.A. tattoo shop Spotlight Tattoo, has been in this line of work for nearly 40 years, and his contributions to tattooing as a craft and an industry have been as numerous as they’ve been vital. Many of the paintings in the exhibition draw heavily on themes common to old-school tattooing—dragons, eagles, skulls, naked ladies—and because of this, it may be easy to overlook the skill actually involved in producing work of his caliber. At first blush, it can almost feel like you’re looking at a wall of flash—a wall of top-tier flash, sure, but flash nonetheless. A closer look, however, reveals that this is anything but stencil-based tracing work. One painting in particular, a massive piece from 1988 featuring a phoenix-like creature surrounded by a glorious wall of flames, serves as a perfect indication of this: every flame, every flourish, every layer of the wing spanning the perimeter of the canvas was its own project, when Roberts could have just as easily copied sections along the way. “It’s the hardest way to go about a piece like this,” noted one attendee, “but in the end, it means it’s all him. Every fragment is like a fingerprint.” And then there are pieces for which the flash comparison is ludicrous—pieces that almost look like they’ve been digitally rendered, that are such inexplicable examples of color and shape and design that their very existence is somewhat puzzling, kind of like they’ve just been here all along.

It was, indeed, a fitting way to kick off the weekend to come, and now, the activities of said weekend beckon your editor. As you have likely already noticed, we’ve been working on a bit of a modified schedule this week due to travel and other atypical responsibilities, so in keeping with these temporary changes, we’re going to forgo the usual This Week in BME wrap-up/whatever, and instead, we implore you to keep checking back frequently throughout the weekend for columns, interviews, photos and whatever other goodies we can wrangle up from the convention. Until then? We leave you in the very capable hands of Party Shark up there, courtesy of Jordan Lutz at Lagniappe Tattoo in Slidell, Louisiana. Oh, Party Shark.

Tattoo Hollywood, BME’s first tattoo convention, is going on right now in Los Angeles from August 21-23, featuring contests, prizes and some of the best artists from around the world! Click here for more information.

Good For The Swarm


As we all know, honey bees are some of the most vicious, cold-blooded, calculating killers in the insect kingdom. It’s true. They attack indiscriminately, all hopped up on The Devil’s Gold, engaging in wild, deadly kamikaze missions. Well, now, it seems, these audacious super-villains have expanded into the sex trade, which makes sense, we guess. While we would not wish this fate on anybody, if anybody does find him- or herself in a bee’s stable, please be careful—beyond that winsome smile is a deceptively powerful and merciless pimp hand.

(Tattoo by Timmo at Wicked Ink in Penrith, Australia.)

Tattoo Hollywood, BME’s first tattoo convention, is coming to Los Angeles from August 21-23, featuring contests, prizes and some of the best artists from around the world! Click here for more information.

The Rhapsodic Report


Hey, it’s been a minute since we’ve posted some bizarre animal tattoo, right? Unacceptable! Let’s right this egregious wrong with this piece by the folks who brought you Murder Penguin, artist Marcus Dove at Smiling Buddha in Savannah, Georgia, and the wearer, Jules, who, apparently, has some sort of thing for animals hanging out in Arctic locales and doing things they should not do. This photo arrived with the caption, “This is not where I parked my car,” which raises all sorts of questions. Why was a giraffe in the Arctic? Why did he think he parked his car at the icy peak of some horrible frozen death mountain? How was he driving in the first place? Why would he wear a scarf and nothing else? This tattoo is unrealistic and offensive to giraffes and mountains.

Tattoo Hollywood, BME’s first tattoo convention, is coming to Los Angeles from August 21-23, featuring contests, prizes and some of the best artists from around the world! Click here for more information.

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How Do You Turn A Phrase?


Hey hey, it’s our old pal Mandic, checking in to show off his bearded clam! Wait, what? Oh, ha, it’s just a tattoo, not the actual sea creature/crude term for delightful female genitalia. Phew! As you can see, it’s conveniently placed in his armpit, so as to allow for maximum hilarity when his normal human hair grows back in, thus extending the “beard” and warming the cockles of our hearts. Let’s remember, though, that this is the same traitor who hates cheese, so let’s not go congratulating and back-slapping each other on a well-executed joke just yet. Ye olde procedural shot, after the jump.

(Tattoo by Frankie G. at Tattoo Marks Studio I in Souderton, Pennsylvania.)

BME Shop is holding a 20-percent-off sale on most items until midnight tonight! Click here for details.

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A Children’s Treasury of Dead Celebrity Tattoos


As everybody knows, celebrities have been dying constantly lately, because they are probably under attack or particularly susceptible to some sort of terrible monster flu that we lesser folks are not important enough to be murdered by or something along those lines. BME has been doing its best to keep tabs on these doomed creatures and the grotesque memorial tattoos that follow, but holy smokes did we just hit the mother lode, as Jeremiah at Good Life Tattoos & Piercings in Akron, Ohio, just wrote in to inform us that Brian McFadden, also of Good Life, has just done a series of portraits of our favorite recently deceased famous people, and, sure enough…he has, indeed.

First up is noted auto-erotic asphyxiation-enthusiast David Carradine, seen above as a grasshopper, because, hey, why the hell not, with a conveniently placed rope in case you didn’t get the joke already.

As luck would have it, there is nothing particularly vulgar about this Farrah Fawcett piece, aside from the masturbation insinuation, which…yeah, we guess that is still pretty crude, now that we think about it.

Say hey, Billy Mays! We’re not entirely sure why he’s on a cupcake but at least he isn’t beating off.

As we discussed previously, we think the jury is still out on the acceptability of pieces of art portraying ol’ MJ as a dead person. This would typically be a pretty cut-and-dry case, but seeing as he shot to international fame largely due to a video in which he played a damn godless zombie, well…you can see our dilemma. Whatever, we’ll allow it.

And finally, the dead celebrity who started it all, Academy Award-winner Heath Ledger, seen here as the murderous Joker, albeit crossed, for some reason, with Krusty the Klown, who, as far as we know, is not a murderer (yet?). In conclusion, hopefully this will be the end of the untimely deaths of celebrities, points of light among us to whom we should aspire to be, the end.

BME Shop is holding a 20-percent-off sale on most items this week until midnight on Thursday, July 16! Click here for details.

Needles in Their Jaws and Feet


Oh boy. It’s shaping up to be one of those days, isn’t it? The internet connection at The Manor took a shit and died this morning, so bear with me. I’ll make it worth your while, ModBloggers, I swear! You see how much fun that cat up there is having? I promise you’ll be at least as pleased as he (she?) is, if not more. And if that means I get banned from my friendly neighborhood Starbucks for having “inappropriate materials” (read: tattooed wangs) on my laptop screen, then so be it.

And hey, it’s Friday, folks, and we always kinda sorta wished we looked like Elvis.

(Tattoo on TheCrimsonCarnival.)

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